The club of those who resign.
•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•
Mirae moved her chair back letting her body lean in so she could rest her chin on top of her pencil case. Puffing her cheeks, she wondered if Philosophy was a class that was really worth to pay attention to.
In all due honestly, the class itself was rather interesting most of the times, but something about Thursdays and the sleepy aura of the classroom bored the hell out of her mind. If the class was a bit earlier in the day it wouldn't be so bad, but having to think and question literally your entire existence right after lunch was exhausting.
The girl tapped softly on the table as the teacher was calling the students so they could pick up their graded tests from about a month ago—the teacher was so distracted that he was known for delivering everything on the last day of the period, where there was no time left to do any recovery activities to improve the grade.
They had been told to read the conference the man had delivered at the beginning of the class, but Mirae wasn't feeling like reading. She tried to read, however, but by the third page of the seven-page document she almost fell out of the chair, almost falling asleep.
She looked over Felix, smirking when she found the Australian boy sleeping with the paper covering his head. She even debated whether she should wake him up or not, but based on the peacefulness on his face she decided to let him have some rest.
Straining her back, she looked around and was shocked when she saw the Nora, the girl who hated reading the most, was actually doing the assignment and even highlighting it. Her gaze went over Soyeon, who was probably drawing something based on the movements of her wrist and the pencil on her hand. Lately she found drawing incredibly interesting and ever since then she had been drawing stuff whenever she could. Soyeon even bought a set of different pencils and a drawing book.
Next to her was Jisung, who looked as bored as ever as his eyes moved through the lines of the conference. Without intending she let her eyes stay on his frame longer, admiring how the shirt form the school uniform wrapped around his arms, how his tie hung loose around his neck and how he kept moving his hair from one side to another, probably trying to maintain himself awake.
She looked away just as she saw him moving his head up, feeling how her entire body came back alive with a rush of feelings. Her attention now landed on Jeno, who was frowning as he read the conference. Next to him was Renjun, who kept on tapping his friend's arm, pointing at something on the paper with a frown. He's probably asking for vocabulary, she concluded before looking away.
Now she watched how Hyunjin and Seungmin were chatting through whispers—those two weren't supposed to be sat together but the teachers let them anyway. No matter where they would be reorganized, they would always find a way to convince their seatmates to switch so they could reunite. It was such a common thing by now that no one complained about it anymore.
"Choi Mirae."
She flinched and quickly adverted her attention back to the front. She stood up and went to where the teacher was, receiving her test with a small bow before sitting back down.
"What did you got?"
"Weren't you sleeping?" she gasped upon hearing Felix's hoarse voice. She glanced at her paper before slipping it under her folder, "I got one hundred."
"You're kidding."
"Yeah, I got a ninety-two."
"You're kidding!"
"No, really I got one hundred." She said, pulling the paper to show it.
Felix's face fell as he eyes the big blue three-digit number written on the corner of the paper, right next to her name. He dropped the paper back into her hands and rolled his eyes, letting his chin fall on top of his conference, "I've never gotten anything higher than ninety on this subject."
"That's because the teacher's strict."
"No, it's because you're you. He grades by name, you know."
"He doesn't, you're just envious."
"Look, there was one time when I copied everything that was on Hyunjin's exam," he hushed, pointing his finger up to prove his argument. "He got a ninety-five while I got an eighty."
"That happens all the time," she shrugged, trying to keep her laughter in.
"It's the same thing with Nora and Dayeon, just that Nora's the one who has the higher grade."
"She told you, huh."
Felix stammered and his eyes moved nervously, "Um—well—yeah."
"How's it going everything with her, though? You said you were going to tell me, yet I still don't know a single thing."
"Later, don't worry," he whispered, nodding along. "It's just that everything's just starting and I still don't know if she wants this—us—to be something serious or not."
"Why? She still thinks on a not-serious relationship?"
"I don't know. That's the thing, I don't know. And every time I try to speak about it with her she avoids the topic or simply just finds an excuse to walk away."
Mirae pursed her lips, not really knowing what to say. "Do you want me to talk it out with her?"
"No, you're not supposed to know that we're even a thing," he panicked, looking around to see if anyone was listening. "Look, I'll explain it all to you later, I promise, but please don't talk about this with Nora. It'd scare her away."
"But this is something that's bothering you, right?"
Felix nodded slowly.
"If you two don't talk it out, I'll do it—"
"Don't!"
"I have to if you don't do it yourself, Felix." She said, looking right into his eyes. "You don't have to restrain your feelings just because she doesn't want something serious and you do. As much as I love Nora, as her friend and as your friend I don't think this is right for the both of you. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to feel the same way you feel about them."
"She isn't, it's just—ugh," he stumbled on his words, tapping his hands nervously on the table. "I'll explain it all to you, I swear, but this isn't as easy as you might think."
"How hard can it really be? You're both just nineteen, barely knowing anything about life. You don't know what life is yet."
"Oh, but you do?"
She widened her eyes at his sass, feeling somehow attacked. "I know nothing. I'm just trying to figure out how to live without stumbling on the way, and that includes helping friends that need it."
Felix nodded his head, letting out a deep breath. "You're right, yeah, sorry."
Mirae nodded as well, looking back to her conference; she held it up, trying to remember where she had given up before, when she felt a tap on her forearm.
"Did you hear about what Jeno's friends are planning to do today at rehearsal?"
She frowned, shaking her head. "No. I haven't returned since Monday."
"Oh, right. Why though?"
"That bitch of a teacher basically wanted me to kiss someone I do not want to kiss in front of the whole school. Is there any more reason to be upset with that witch?"
His eyes widened as he back away, "Wow, no need to be angry at me, I'm not her."
"Yeah, sorry. It's just that thinking about it angers me so much," she said, clenching her fist. "So, what were you saying?"
"Right. So, I heard that Jaemin, Haechan and Renjun were going to step out of the Gala today, or something like that."
Her arms went cold from the shock just as her eyes widened. "What? No, they can't do that."
"Actually, Hyunjin and Seungmin told me to do the same," Felix shrugged. "I think it's a good idea."
"Why the hell would you think that? Are you crazy?"
"Mirae, that witch kicked you out of one of the most amazing choreographies that has been prepared for that night." He stated, leaning his head to add more seriousness to his face. "And it was highly unfair, we all know that. It's not fair that you're being replaced when you prepared for it with so much will. Even Hyejin was saying yesterday that she didn't want to participate on that choreography. She said it was yours and Jeno's—"
"Stop." She said, looking away. "You can't do that, that'd be throwing everything away."
"That's what she did to you."
"Yes, and I do not want you to do that."
It was crazy what they were going to do, there was no other way to say it. What they were going to do was not going to solve anything, but only make things worse. They were being delusional if they thought that it would actually help her to go back—Mrs. Wang was smarter than a group of high-school students.
However Felix shook his head, pursing his lips. "It will help, believe me."
"It's not," she rolled her eyes. "It will only bring you all trouble with that woman."
"We don't care. Participating in the Artistic Gala is just a—ugh, what's the word—right! It's an additional thing, out of the normal Dance class. She can't lower our grades, because it isn't even something part of the class."
"That woman will find a way. All teachers find a way, that's why all students hate them at times."
"Well, true, but it doesn't matter. I heard that a lot of people are planning on doing it, so even if you get me on not doing it, there's going to be others who will. Even Jisung's going to join us."
Mirae quickly moved her head to where said boy sat, giving him a glare. "That idiot's going to do it?"
"I thought you liked him?"
"I do, and that makes me an idiot too. But quitting today's not going to do any good. Besides, why only today? Why didn't you think of doing this yesterday or on Tuesday?"
"Because today's the costume measurement. It was going to be on Sunday, but the teacher said yesterday that it's going to be today. I don't know why and I honestly can't care less, but we're quitting today."
"Don't do it, seriously," she insisted now holding his hand. "Please don't do it. If you're really my friend, please don't join that crazy campaign."
"Class dismissed," the teacher announced just when Felix was about to reply. "Have a nice day, students. See you tomorrow."
Mirae mumbled a goodbye to the teacher, keeping her eyes on Felix, who took the chance to quickly pack his things so he could run away from Mirae. But she knew he was going to run, so she too packed her things quickly and followed him outside of the classroom, fighting her way through the mass of students.
"Mirae, stop, it's no use," he insisted, turning back to face her. "We're doing this to have justice for both of you. Let us help you two."
"The way you're doing it is not the right way!"
"Then what way do you want it to be?!"
"No way at all! What's done has been done! Let it be!"
"For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see. There will be an answer, let it be."
"What?!"
"It's a song. You should listen to it, maybe it can help you understand that you have to let us do what we want to do."
And with that, he turned around and rushed away, leaving Mirae standing angrily near the stairs. She looked around, trying to find who she was looking, feeling how he hands were closing into fists. When she found the person, she made sure to not waste any more time and made her way to them.
"Hey!"
The boy turned his head over, a smile on his face that quickly faded upon noticing the frown on her forehead. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What you all are trying to do is wrong!"
"What are you talking about?"
She grabbed the hem of his blazer and dragged him to the side of the hall. "Why the hell are you thinking on quitting the Gala?"
Jisung's expression changed as he understood her behavior—well, not really, but at least he understood what she was talking about. "Ah, that. Yeah, I'm going to quit."
"No, you're not."
"Yes I am." He stated, lowering his head closer to her in a threatening way. "That witch did you dirty, and I am not willing to participate on that crap that she's been trying to fix these few days. She fucked it up and she knows it, but she won't do anything to solve it the proper way unless everything falls apart for her. Which is exactly what we're going to do."
"And how the hell is that going to help at all? She's a teacher! Teachers never ask for forgiveness in this country! They're always right, remember? Students like us can't do anything about it."
"We can, love. She can't have a show with just five people."
Mirae wanted to yell at him even more, but the determination on his face was enough to shut him up. Nothing that she could say would change his mind, and it infuriated her. She lifted her fists up, as if she were going to punch him before letting them fall again.
"You're all going to be in trouble."
"I don't care. My mom said she's okay with signing a suspension note as long as it's for a good cause, and she said this was a good cause."
A laugh escaped her lips before she could stop herself. "You're kidding me."
"You met my mom. She's that crazy at times like this."
"Why do you want to help when you didn't even like watching me dance with Jeno?"
"I never said that," he was fast at correcting her. "I said I was jealous, but I have to admit that your dance is one of the most beautiful things that woman has ever done. And I will not let her step over you as if you were some kind of bug that she can push away with ease. You're a person, and you should not be treated as unfairly as you did just 'cause you didn't want to do what that witch told you if it made you uncomfortable. You deserve respect."
"But the way you're trying to do it is not the way, Jisung," she insisted, holding his arms to stop him.
"Is there any other way? Jeno has been trying to talk her out all these days and nothing he's said has worked out. Take in account that those two know each other from Jeno's dance academy, SM, since a few years. If he hasn't sorted anything through talking yet, no one will."
Mirae felt powerless as she tried to think another way. "Why can't you just let it go? I already accepted what happened, you all should too—"
He moved closer to her face in an almost threatening way, his finger covering her lips as his eyebrows furrowed deeply. "Don't say that. You may have accepted that bitch's unfairness, but I will not. She can't just get away with everything she wants to do. I once respected that woman, but after what happened I just want her to suffer."
Her eyes widened in fear and she swallowed hard, wanting to erase that scary face off. "Just—just calm down, okay? Just—just take a deep breath and—and I don't know, let's go for a smoothie at The Harvest or something."
"Okay, but after I quit."
"No!"
"Mirae, nothing you can say is going to stop me from doing it." He said, taking a step back. "What you can do is join me while I do it."
Her heart sank when she noticed he was completely serious, convinced on his decision. "I don't want to."
Jisung blinked, puzzled for a second. Then he nodded his head, pursing his lips shortly. "Alright. Then are you going to wait for me so we can go for that smoothie? Or are you going to leave?"
"I don't want you to quit, can't you understand? I don't want you to throw away what you've done just 'cause someone was unfair with me."
"Again with this? Mirae, listen to me clearly—"
"No, you listen to me—"
With a rapid movement, Jisung grabbed her elbows, shutting her up as he leant his face closely to hers. "No, you listen to me Mirae." He whispered. "I am doing this because I want to, because I don't want to let that woman get away with her unfair decision, because I want to help you out even if it doesn't turn out as I want. I don't care what the consequences are, because I know it won't bother me as much as it bothered you when she kicked you out."
And with that, he dropped his grip and turned around, walking away as Mirae stayed there, watching him go as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•
"I don't care what the consequences are, because I know it won't bother me as much as it bothered you when she kicked you out."
He was damn right. Mirae didn't want to admit it, but it was painfully accurate what he had said.
By all she knew, Jisung didn't really care if he got in trouble for the people he cared about, as she had noticed in the past with his friends. He was willing to even get expelled for something he was innocent just so his friend wouldn't. He was too carefree at times, and that was what worried Mirae as she watched him go.
She had wanted to go with him, to try to stop him, but she had been unable to move. Tears soon accumulated in her eyes as she repeated his words, realizing that even if she hadn't really opened up about how she had been the past few days, he somehow knew how hurt she was.
Because she was hurt.
Every single one of the past days she had arrived home in complete silence, her eyes lost in whatever was in front of her as she went upstairs to her room, where she would throw herself on the bed for a whole hour thinking about how, if she hadn't been kicked out, she would be in the middle of practicing the choreography with Jeno.
As much as rehearsing gave her bruises, she had enjoyed practicing. As much as her legs would hurt at night to the point when she would even wish to remove them for the night, she missed spinning around the room, jumping and ding all those pirouettes she learned with so much dedication.
Even if she wasn't the best dancer or even close to Rhujin's level, she knew she had improved a lot in the span of few weeks. Plus, she had been able to feel what she had not been able to feel during her whole life: free.
It might be a cliché, but she felt free when she danced. However it was different from when she danced to idol group songs in her room—during those times she felt silly yet happy. But when she danced on the Dance room, listening to the music beating loudly as she moved her body as best as she could following the steps, she felt completely free. She felt invincible, she felt special, but most of it all she felt free.
Well, had.
Now she couldn't help but feel numb. The past few days had been blurry because she hadn't been able to avoid wondering herself about all the things she might have been doing if she hadn't been kicked out. She was disheartened, discouraged and hurt.
As much as she had tried to stop the sensation, she continued feeling useless.
She knew she wasn't supposed to let all those negative thoughts intrude in her mind, but it had been almost impossible when there was nothing else to think—homework was a big no-no. If she wasn't feeling motivated enough to even lift herself up from her bed, how could she have the energy to do homework?
But as hurt, as bothered as she was, she did not want anyone to play the hero and 'make justice' for her.
It was her problem, her thing to deal with, not anybody else's. Maybe even Jeno's deal, but ever since that day Mirae had been distant with him. He noticed it too and decided to give her space, knowing he too was feeling hurt—but unlike her, he was hurt in a way that soon transformed into rage and indignation.
Mirae took a shaky breath, biting her lips to refrain herself from tearing up. She had not shed a single tear since Monday, and she was not going to tear up that day either. She had promised herself not to cry anymore over that topic, no matter how gloomy she could get. The sooner she pretended that she did not care about the matter, the better.
But after listening to Jisung's words, everything she had tried to hide—her pain, her anger, her tears—resurfaced with twice the strength as before. She shut her eyes as she felt tears forming on her eyes, biting shakily her lips so no sound could come out. She pushed her glasses up her nose and looked ahead, almost whimpering when noticing how blurry her vision was.
If she dared to say anything, there would be no way to stop her tears.
With uneasy steps she walked through the halls, blinking repeatedly and taking deep breaths, trying to ease the knot on her throat that had already formed. Do not shed a single tear, you weak ass, she mentally scolded herself attempting to succeed.
However just as she had the Dance room's door in her rage of vision, her eyes watered once again before she could even think at all. Her lips curved downwards in a pout as she got closer, feeling somewhat nostalgic even if it had only been few days since she had been there.
As she got closer she heard voices, some being too muffled to recognize and others as clear as water—Mrs, Wang's distressed tone, Jeno's calm yet firm voice and Felix's low one. She was actually surprised that she had not recognized Jisung's. However, as she got closer and managed to catch a glimpse to the inside of the room, she realized that she hadn't heard his voice because he had been quiet.
Even if she was wearing glasses, she was not able to identify who were the other people inside besides the one mentioned since they were either away from the door or too close to the window that the sun did not allowed her to stared for longer than a few seconds—her eyes were sensible to light if she stared straight to an open window.
But, since Mirae was Mirae and being Mirae also implied being clumsy, just as she was taking a step closer to the wall to have a better look at the inside, she did not notice the small puddle of an known substance—probably water, probably sweat, who knows—which resulted on her foot slipping off. She had to slam her hand onto the wall to prevent herself from ending butt-first on the floor.
"Who's out there?!"
Fuck, she winced and stood straight as quickly as she could, not willing to let herself be caught in her clumsy form.
She had barely recovered her balance and adjusted her glasses when the door flew open, revealing the woman whom Mirae had been trying to avoid all those days. "Well, hello there Ms. Choi. It's been a while since I last saw you, huh."
"Same to you, teacher," she whispered, her cheeks flushing from both embarrassment and anger. "How has it been with the Gala preparations?"
The woman's eyes flickered for a moment, "You might as well see it yourself."
Mirae knew what was going on inside the classroom and did not want to be a witness, nevertheless, due to the intense glare that Mrs. Wang was giving her, she did a small bow and walked past her, meeting with several familiar faces.
But what caught her attention the most were the three girls that were beside Jeno's friends. "What are you doing here?" Mirae couldn't help but ask, low-key wishing that the girls' reasons were not the same as her friends'.
"They're all here to quit, how about that?"
She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from sassing back at the teacher and only looked down, whispering a small "Oh."
"But I am not letting them quit."
There were so many sassy things she wanted to reply with, but she remained quiet—and salty.
"Aren't you curious as to why, Ms. Choi?"
Mirae almost shook her head, but instead nodded her head, deciding to follow what that woman wanted to get to. She was not up for any confrontations, so she thought it would be best if she just went along.
Mrs. Wang walked around the room, passing behind the students that were standing in almost a circle, as if he was studying who would be better suitable for what she wanted to do. In the end, after a few seconds of awkward silence, the woman stood behind Renjun, Jaemin and Haechan with a small smirk. "Well, you see Ms. Choi... these three gentlemen here are claiming that they do not want to participate anymore because they don't feel it was an adecuate decision removing their all-time friend, Lee Jeno."
Then she dragged her feet gracefully up to where Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix were, giving them the same lazy yet alive look, "And these three over here claim that they do not want to participate anymore because they are putting at risk their academic life. A big fat lie, if you ask me—"
I did not ask for your opinion, sir, she wanted to say but remained silent.
"—because I know all of their grades up 'till now... but if that's what they say then I guess I'll have to believe them." Then Mrs. Wang went up to the three ladies here are quitting because, according to them, they don't think there is enough time to fill up the empty spots on the choreographies."
That's the weakest excuse ever, Mirae thought.
"And now, this young gentleman over there," she motioned towards Jisung, who had been frowning ever since Mirae stepped in the room. "I gotta admit, his argument is the most honest from all. He's quitting because he's not satisfied with the way I've been organizing the Artistic Gala these past few days.
"And now that you have heard all of it, what is your point of view, Ms. Choi?"
My point of view is that you're a bitch Mrs. Wang. As much as she longed for saying those words, she took a small breath to calm herself before speaking. "Um, well, I don't know what you want me to say exactly, ma'am."
"What you think, Mirae."
What I think isn't exactly a decent thing to say aloud, sir. "What I think right now is highly biased on what has happened, sir, so I don't think it would be—"
"Fair?"
Oh, that certainly pissed her off.
Mirae closed her hand into a fist, trying to control her expression into remaining neutral. However she did not have the chance to say anything back since another vice rose before hers.
"How dare you say anything about fairness after what you did to them?"
Everyone looked back at Rhujin, eyes wide in shock at the boldness of her tone. Mirae almost shed a tear of joy when Mrs. Wang's face transformed into outrage for a split of a second. "I'm shocked at your harsh words, Ms. Shin."
"So was I when you kicked two of your best dancers just 'cause they were not comfortable at pleasing your little whim, Mrs. Wang."
Mirae wanted to cheer for her, but restrained herself back.
"Alright." The woman shortly spoke, pressing her lips tightly. "Anyone else agrees with Ms. Shin?"
At first only glances were shared, but it only took a glance at either Jeno or Mirae to encourage the rest of the students to raise their hands slowly, challenging with their eyes at the Dance teacher, who remained serious with her arms crosse in front of herself.
The woman snapped her tongue with a sharp nod, "I see. Alright, I ask you all to be out for a moment except for Lee Jeno and Choi Mirae. We will discuss your situation in a moment."
"What are you going to do now? Blame them for what we're doing?" Haechan snapped. "We all did this on our own, you know. They do not have anything to do with us wanting to quit."
"I believe it is not entirely true, but as you wish, Mr. Lee Donghyk."
Oh she did not, Mirae thought as she watched how Haechan's face darkened. No one ever called him by his real name since Haechan himself did not like it when people did. Mirae knew there was a deeper reason behind not liking his real name, but since she had never been that close to him she did not knew. Rumors, however, claimed that it was related to his family life but no one outside his small group of friends really knew.
So, if the teacher was calling him by his real name after knowing how much he despised the name, it meant that the woman had lost her patience.
It took one single glance to let Mirae know that Jisung was not comfortable with leaving her alone with the teacher and Jeno, knowing how she had felt after the last encounter with the woman. The girl tried to assure him she was going to be okay with a small smile, but it did not reach her eyes.
Slowly, the others left the room, not before sharing glances with the two who had been told to stay behind. Mirae felt uncomfortable so she fixated her eyes on her shoes, noticing some small stains from dust.
Once it was only them three on the room, her eyes met Jeno's before meeting the teacher's ones.
Jeno was the first one to speak, "So, um, what did we stay behind for?"
"To listen to what I have to tell you."
Mirae's heart pounded faster on her chest when she noticed the teacher's expression.
Oh mercy, here it comes.