I stared into the sitting room of the broad house, a small smile etched onto my face. I felt an overwhelming sensation of pride for the two boys in there, laughing and talking to their families. They had overcome so much to get here.
As if on cue, Louis wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling him in tightly to his side. Harry slung an arm around Lou’s waist, letting his body relax onto the older lad. I had to resist letting out a sigh at how perfect they were together.
They had gone through all the torment of coming out, even though they were international pop stars and had no idea at the time that they were in love. They went through the torture of realizing they were in love with their best mate. They had the emotional stress of hiding their feelings, and then the pain of wondering what the rest of us the band and their families would think. But through it all, they somehow managed to find their way back to each other, and now they were cuddling in front of me, sharing their happiness and love with everyone.
They had the courage to do what I was never able to push myself to think about: tell the truth.
I was deeply in love with my best mate as well, but I didn’t bother hiding it. For God’s sake, we all know I’m a horrible actor. I just told him, and I was lucky that he’d started falling for me as well. Niall Horan was my dream boyfriend, and I was ecstatic that I could call him mine. But it’s not like anybody knew that.
The excited mood seemed to fade from the air around me as I fell deeper into my thoughts. I loved that boy so much, but it didn’t feel the same as when we first got together. There used to be fireworks at every touch, bombs with each kiss, butterflies whenever he looked my way or I heard his name mentioned. Those reactions had died down now, but I knew I loved him. It was probably just the initial tension fading, as it did in all relationships.
My situation was quite different than a normal lad in love. Not only was I in love with my best mate, and he was a guy at that, but nobody, apart from us, knew we were together. And in order to cover up any suspicion that would be aroused by the public when Louis and Harry announced their love, I had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who suspected nothing and had no clue I wasn’t faithful or even straight.
Her name was Danielle, and she was beautiful. She was everything I would’ve wanted in a girl, that is, if I were interested in anyone other than my Nialler. We complemented each other’s personalities, and she looked quite like my celebrity crush, Leona Lewis. Her chocolate curls fell perfectly across her shoulders, her makeup was just right, her eyes smoldered when they met mine, and my hands fit on her waist like magic. But she just wasn’t for me. However, I was too afraid to tell her that and break her heart and hopes. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a gentleman, but I didn’t know how much longer I could take pretending I was falling for her when I was in fact thinking of a certain crystal-eyed band mate.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by sudden warmth around my waist and a face nuzzled into the side of my neck. I knew that scent. “Niall,” I breathed quietly, sighing.
“Li-li,” he responded in the same tone I had used.
I turned to face him, his arms still surrounding me and his body pressed to mine. As I swiveled, his innocent baby blues met my brown orbs and I noticed his messy hair, as if he’d run his hands through it one too many times as always. A contented smile spread across our faces as we just stood there, engulfed in the feeling of each other.
We didn’t get much time like this, just enjoying each other. We were always hiding the truth from the world and the other lads, so if a soul was around we never lost control. We only had the limited time we could get when we shared a room in a hotel, or the others went out, or it was late and they were asleep. It wasn’t really enough, but there was nothing we could do about it.
“I missed you,” I whispered.
His smile widened as he brushed a finger over my lips and his thumb traced my jawline. “I missed you too, Li. So, so much.”
Leaning in, I swiftly pressed my lips to his. He immediately responded, moving his lips in time with mine and gripping my waist tighter if it was possible. I let my hands drift, one running through his already mussed-up blonde locks and the other cupping his soft cheek. We twisted every few seconds, trying to get more of each other.
Breaking the kiss, I gasped in some much-needed air and saw Niall do the same. I folded my arms around his neck and pulled him close, just embracing him and feeling his sped up heartbeat matching my own. I wished this moment would never end, but I knew that couldn’t happen.
Hearing the soft sounds of footsteps, I pulled away from him quickly. He frowned, tilting his head. “Why’d you do that?” I tapped my ear in response, and his eyes lit with realization.
Zayn appeared around a corner of the staircase. Hopping his way down, he bounded over to us. “How are Harry and Lou doing?”
I’d forgotten the reason we were here was for the new couple. Spinning back to the doorway, I saw them in the same position they’d been in the last time I checked. “They’re cuddling and having fun in there. Why?”
“I was getting bored up there all alone,” Zayn complained, “so I thought I’d check out what the rest of you were doing and join someone.”
Niall shoved him gently through the doorway with the suggestion of hanging with the two boys inside. He agreed, waving and saying he’d see us later.
I raised an eyebrow. “Why the rush to get Zayn in the room with the lovebirds?” He looked at me oddly.
“So we can have time just the two of us, you idiot,” he chuckled and I felt like smacking my forehead. “Come here, you.”
He grasped my hand, pulling me along with him as he left to find a peaceful room. I gripped his hand tightly, lacing my fingers through his and matching my strides to his shorter ones. He threw me a delicate smile before stopping at a random room and leading us inside.
It appeared to be one of those home-cinema rooms. There was a large screen along one side, a projector high on the opposite wall, and a large, comfortable-looking couch placed right in the middle. We plopped down on the couch, our hands still entwined and our thighs brushing.
“It hurts, you know, Liam. Watching them.” I knew immediately what he was talking about.
“But they’re happy. I don’t want to spoil it for them. Besides, we could technically come out whenever we want.” I spoke rationally.
He sighed. “I know they’re each other’s perfect matches. I know we can’t let what’s between us get in between them. I know we’re the ones who decided that the word isn’t ready for four fifths of One Direction to be not only taken, but also gay for their best mates. I just wish it could be different. I wish we could be ourselves all the time, not just behind locked doors and shut windows. I want to be able to proudly show you off to everyone.” A lone tear trailed from the corner of his eye.
“Believe me Nialler, I know. I feel the exact same way. Watching them come out and be able to get over the stress and actually grow stronger together, I realized it’s what I want for us. But we waited too long. It’s too late now; we can’t go back. All we can do is watch the news, and be ready to tell the world when the media calms down a bit.” I wipe the tear with my thumb, gently smiling as I stroked his cheek.
“You always know the perfect things to say, Li. You’re the only one who can calm me so easily. I don’t go around sharing deep emotions with everyone, you know.”
I chuckled, snuggling into his body as he leaned back. “I guess we were meant to be. I love you, so much.”
He took my face in his hands. “I love you too, Liam.”
Tired of using our words, we leaned closer as if we could reach each other’s minds and our lips met again. His lips were so soft; gentle when we needed to feel loved and so dominating and rough when we were blowing off the tension of keeping our hands off each other all day. He was perfect in every single way, from the tips of his hair to the ends of his toes. And he was mine.
Who cared what the world thought? In that moment, I couldn’t care less. We moved as one, lying down on the couch with me pressing into him from on top. Our torsos pressed together, our legs tangled, his hands twined themselves into my hair while mine rubbed the bare skin on his lower back under his shirt. It wasn’t so much an intense kiss as it was to show the other that we were there, and how much we cared. It was everything I wanted and needed right then.
After a bit we broke apart, curling into each other’s bodies automatically. I stroked his hair softly until I could hear his slow, steady breathing. He’d fallen asleep. Chuckling at how adorable he was, I shifted us into a more comfortable position to be in for a while and laid my head in the crook of his neck, relaxing.
We fell asleep like that, holding each other close. It was the most relaxed I’d been in days, since the last time we’d been alone together. I swept a few loose strands of hair from his forehead, pressing a light kiss to the spot before shutting my own eyes and resting.
I could only hope we woke up before someone found us wrapped up in each other.