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July 12,2014
Dear Anna Todd,
First of all, it’s been a privilege for everyone who supported me for reading After for years and I am so glad that I am here sitting in the couch with my mom using my phone and with my brother using my laptop (lol.) and with me as I said sitting in here with circle of thoughts was flooding and going on in my head and I just don’t know what to say even though I’ve always planned on talking to you for a very long time ago. And now I just can’t believe that I already have the opportunity to write this and I am very grand. Really!!!!
So, before I start, I may introduce myself first lololol.
Heeeeeeey, I am Rouchelle but you can call me Jem atleast lols. But you can call me Ariana Grande as well but I if you only want to but I would love if you call me Ariana Grande because that would make my heart melt like a very solid iron and I know that you’d love being sweet and even though you didn’t try to be one, you still are and you will always be.
I am twelve and turning thirteen this Thursday which is in 17th of July ayeeee!! I am so glad or more than glad even or uhm grand I may say that I am not the only one who loves and fancies After so freaking much in here. ((Philippines))
Anna Todd, Anna Renee, Anna, Todd, Renee, idk but I can call you many names as well as pet names like Babe, baby, sweetie, dear, darling, sweetheart, heaps and bae. They said that Bae means poop as well as Ansel Elgort by posting a picture on his instagram that Bae is a Danish word for poop but I won’t and will never regret saying that I called you my Bae lolololol.
Well, then, if the meaning of Bae is really poop then you are the most amazing, most beautiful, prettiest, cutest, most gorgeous, sweetest, lovable, smartest and so many good things that can be found on a POOP like you.
Back to the story, I only just turned twelve when I started reading After and I am so confused about everything that was going on in between them like Tessa cheating on Noah and Harry being an asshole all the time when he’s around with Tessa then the other time he’ll be like the very nice and good man who can’t even break dishes lol. But then I started loving them as much as they love each other to the moon and back and never going back lol wot (Well, before I even start to read chapter one, I already love it lol)
I just love you so much when Harry told Tessa he loves her but she was so choosy and it annoys me so much but then I got disappointed when he takes it back (ughhhhh). But you got my heart again when Tessa chose Harry than Noah ohmygafesd. ((THE FEEEEEELS))
Well, I really do love you even though you did not update or you thought that you didn’t make so much effort into that chapter (even though you did). But, anyway, I wrote all of this all the way up because I wanted to express my feelings to you and I wanted to tell you how much I really do love your books and you more than wifi omg that’s not even normal if you ask my friends and parents and I really do hope and pray that you will someday realize that.
Back to the story again, I hate it when Harry was so moody all the time and I have always wanted to ask you why are you always letting Harry and Tessa fought and I just realized that I am in no position to tell you that because it wasn’t even my story and that I am just a fan of it!! But, now I also realized that it is so good for them to fight anyway because that caused them to learn and realize so many things like Tessa found out that because of his love for Harry, she didn’t realize that everybody was getting involved, she’s hurting someone just to be with Harry and most of all she did anything for Harry but then she just ended up always hurt. In the other hand was Harry, he learned not to be an asshole, he learned that drinking beers cannot help with his problem and he has learned so much more to be nice to others and not just to love himself but that was when they already broke up for the hundredth time. (lols)
Sooooo, why am I even here right now while you reading this? Well, well, well, I am here to ask you a few questions because I don’t want to feel like I am Hazel Grace, well, I already feel like I am Hazel Grace because the book cannot end in the middle of a sentence and I’m laughing at myself when I am thinking like this. Ohmygdawdf.
I love you, Anna Renee Todd and I am so awkward writing this, I don’t even know if I will make you smile or something that’s why I am nervous as hell but I really do hope that you will like this one bae!! Xx
Omg!!! I just wanted to know what happened to Zayn and that girl who’s similar with Tessa he met and the girl who married Liam like who is she??? I am thinking that she is Danielle I don’t know but I really think that is her lol but I’d also love if it is Sophia, I mean she’s pretty nice, why could someone hate her.
So yeah if you only notice, Anna. I am looking forward on doing such a thing like “lolololol” when it is actually just a simple “lol” oH I got it from you omg because I really do think it was cute and yeah when I am the one who does it, it was never cute lols.
I also found out that it was so cute when you are always tweeting any kinds of emoji to express your feelings and really, it was so cute omg.
Ugh. It was so late at night like five in the morning in here while I am busy writing this when I need to be up in two hours. Woah. I’ll be back, Anna dear. I love youuuuu <333
July 13, 2014
Hi, Anna!!! Omg, Im screaming wooooooooah, I stalked you and I just found out that one of your favorite book is The Mortal Instruments and The Hunger Games. I really thought that we don’t have similarities and I am so happy when I found this thing out.
Well, so as I continue my message, I was just going to tell you that I love it when you are always so cute when you are posting “”Author’s Note”” in the end of the chapter. I don’t know but I really like it.
I remember when my friends were always telling me that I am becoming weird when I started reading After and I wanted to do everything just for them to shut up but I ended up being nice because I don’t want them to think that I got it from the story (like hitting or punching them in their jaws which is true. Well, Harry is the only one who’s doing that though) But, to be honest, I really don’t like it when they’re being like that, I mean they would always tell me not to read it again and I feel like they’re not even supporting me I mean woah there, they are my friends?!
And, omg can you please just let me be with Harry (even though I won’t) I mean you have Jordan anyway. (lolololol)
But, Anna, you really became my inspiration and so on. Before I start reading After, I never did like reading books before because I thought reading books were so nerd and uhm weird? And I really thought that it really was boring so I didn’t even try to do it. But then, I decided to make a wattpad account and my life just began.
Your book became my sunshine and I was so proud of it, proud because Harry which is my moonlight (because even though in my darkest days, he was still in there. He was always in there) is one of the protagonist and also Indiana Evans (Tessa) which is one of my girl crush and I am so proud of myself that I didn’t send hate to Tessa I mean, she’s the only girl that I shipped with Harry besides me of course.
I remember that time when I need to get be in school for five in the morning but your book ruined my life so I had to stay up all night just to read your book. So, this things has to happened like I would read After when I got home from school at one in the afternoon to six in the evening to eat dinner then continue reading it when it was already eight thirty (dinner and taking a bath includes in there) then I would be reading it until four in the morning and when I can already hear my mom from the other room (because my mom is the one who wakes me up because I am not really used into it when I am using alarm clocks to wake me up on time. I am so different with Tessa), I would turn off my phone and pretend that I was sleeping and that is just my life I suppose.
I also remember that time I cried all day because you quote tweeted my tweet and I am so thankful to larry because they’re the reasons why you noticed me like I saw your twitter username on my timeline and I planned on questioning you some things but larry thing really appeared on my mind and I decided to ask you if you ship larry and I scroll down through my timeline and when I got back to my interactions, you were like “no lol” there were so many usernames appearing on my screen which is like spamming me (even though they are not and would never do that hA) And, they were all like “The queen has spoken” “YAAAASSS!!!” “We don’t have similarities in shipping people” and then I just found myself under my bed sheets crying because I really can’t believe what happened that time and I really want to believe myself that I am just dreaming. It took me half an hour to cry and roll over my bed sheets before I started thanking and spamming you and you followed me.
You were a very nice and a successful woman, Anna! I can’t even thank you and tell you how much you and your book changed my life. I am so thankful that I have read After because I started to read so many books, not just After of course but it is my favorite wattpad story.
I remember that time when i used to cut my wrist everyday because I can’t deal with my family problems, everyone was so annoying (for me) I feel like they all hate me, they were all yelling at me every time I have done a wrong simple thing and I am so done with it and that time I remember when it was New Year’s eve and my mom wasn’t in there, my dad only and we are celebrating it in my auntie’s house which is across to our house. (lol) And, I realized for once that they all love me, they were hugging me and you know that feeling? I mean that was once in a life time for me and I am okay that time but then I still ended up cutting my wrist because my dad scolded me for whatever it is his problem. I am always okay for them.
As you said, “The worst part of being okay is that, okay is far from happy. Okay is that gray space in the middle where you can wake up each day and carry on with your life, even laugh and smile often but okay isn’t joy. Okay isn’t looking forward to each second of your day and okay isn’t getting the most out of life. Being okay is what most people settle for, myself included and we pretend that okay is fine, when we actually hate it and we spend majority of our time waiting to break out of just being okay.”
But then I learned not to hurt myself and I learned that I should just understand them. It was kind of funny when I am saying this because I haven’t tell this to anyone until now. Thank you for being so smart to publish After and you were always giving me feels omg and I am becoming insane while reading it like my heart would melt and then the second, I can feel the pain the way Tessa and Harry felt it and next, I am back into hating one of them. (lols)
It was really funny also that I can connect my life with Hessa’s relationship and it just hurts me a lot when I am reading it but I don’t care, I’m not even Tessa and HE is not even Harry.
Remember that time when I ask you if you ship Larry and you said no lol and I was like very very very disappointed that time because I ship them hard as Harry bumps into Tessa’s hips. Ohmygdw.
Well of course there is a reason why I am shipping them, I don’t just ship them because I really do feel like they love each other but that is one of the element or reason why.
That’s because I saw me in Harry and I saw my crush in my past in Louis. Because yeah, it’s like, everyone knows that Louis loves Eleanor when he actually really loves Harry and I know that is so selfish of me that’s why I decided to tell him to stop already. But, I don’t even have a time to tell him and I am so scared that he may curse me or something lols until one day, I just found out that he doesn’t even have a crush on me anymore because he has a crush on my friend and it ruined our friendship ugh and I started to cry and cry I mean he could’ve just tell me because I don’t even have a crush on him anyway and I realized that I have wasted so many days to wait to tell him when he was just so fast to being an asshole. But, I just let him go and started my life for once again. (Well, I am reading After most of that time lols) And, to be honest it really hurts me a lot but I saw his true color when we ended up like that and he started calling me “Bitter” and what the hell I am so pissed and I want to punch the hell out of him (If I could only do that) and I cried in front of everyone and he was like “are you okay?” “who made you cry?” and so on and so on while he was rubbing my back to comfort me but that was all nothing and I realized that I am wasting my tears for a guy who doesn’t even deserve it.
It wasn’t just a crush for me I mean I could feel something more than it and I am so stupid for letting him in my life. I had a crush on him for four years and he does to me too. And, we spent that four years by always chatting on fb and he always spending his morning and afternoon here in my house and my mom really likes her as long as my sister and brother. On the other hand, everyone in their family likes me and I am so grateful and sometimes I am going into their house. (lol) I remember that time when me and her little sister was hanging out in the mall and I decided to stay in their house to watch movie (The Mortal Instruments) with her and when we are eating lunch, I didn’t expect that he will come home with his dad because it was Saturday so I thought he will be in school. And yeah, his dad was asking me so many things, asking me how was my study and where I am studying and so on.
I also remember that time when I am chatting with her little sister on fb again (lol) And, she was like “come here and bring me ripe mangoes” “pls come on in here, you are all going in here tomorrow anyway” “pls pls come over here pls Rouchelle” “I will tell my brother to come fetch you in there” and I really thought she was just joking that time that’s why I said “yes I will and bring you starbucks and krispy kreme so that we could hang out aye” and realization hits me hard in my face when i thought she wasn’t joking at all like she was “ugh I can’t wait anymore. Are you already packing up your bag?” and I’m like “wait what? Are you serious?” and she’s like “yes why” and i’m like “oh you’re kidding, I’m going to punch you and your brother tomorrow. Don’t worry.” And she was like “well, if you don’t want to trust me, just wait for my brother in there. Bye” and after that message of her, I face palmed myself for being so stupid and I got worried and I don’t know what to do so I just started to take a bath in case he will come.
When I was in the bath, I can hear someone pulling up in our driveway and I quickly put on my clothes and he was starting to call my name and I went in the front door to fetch him, I don’t really know if I am coming with him so I don’t know what to do, I just let him come into my house. And he was like “You really did take a bath for me. You’re so sweet.” And I = playfully swat his arm and I am so speechless. (lol) Until my mom came home and David asked me if my mom knows that I am staying in their house for three days and I said yes but she only knows that I am coming to their house tomorrow so we decided that he’ll ask my mom if I can go in their house already and she said no and I can see worried look on her beautiful face. (I really think that she thought I am not going back in our house anymore like that was time I am cutting my wrist oh)
I say sorry to him that I can’t go and told him that I really did want to go but it’s just complicated for some reason and I just eat out with him before he go home. I really do feel sorry and he was being nice so he’s like “It’s okay, I understand” and I hug him goodbye.
The next day, we’re already in their house and it was already late at night and me and his friend was talking while I am reading After omg I remember that it was when they were in Vance’s house and Tessa was looking for Harry and she found Harry in the gym and they have sex ohmygs!!! Then I didn’t really focus on what his friend was saying until I heard my name and I was like “What? I mean, what did you say?” and he was like “How much is your heart?” and I was like so pissed even though I didn’t let him finish his sentence “It is so obvious that he really likes you so much. Don’t even try to deny that there’s something happening between you guys” I am trying to ask myself what’s happening and I ended up face palming myself when realization hits me hard like a bus that he was talking about David and I just ignored him and continue reading After.
Well, I think I am way too much to tell you my so called “”LOVE STORY”” even though it
wasn’t love, it was just an infatuation.
So, Anna, I don’t want you to think that I am too young for this (even though I am) well, I haven’t had any boyfriend and I wasn’t planning on getting one though. He was just a crush and nothing more.
So, Anna, after all those months, thank you for being part of my life and I am so thankful that I’ve known you, Tessa and Harry and all of the after crews. I hate Molly and love Steph at first but then I am so wrong that’s why the tables have turned not so quickly (lol) and now, I love Molly than Steph (lol)
Everything in After will always be in my heart as long as Harry is in Louis’ heart oops sorry, Anna! I respect Elounor and everyone. You can ship anyone who you want to, anyway. But, yeah After will always be in my heart and all those fights, memories, weddings, sex scene, everything, just everything.
Anna, thank you so much for changing my life. You are my everything and I love you more than Harry loves Tessa. You will always be my favorite wattpad author and I am just so speechless I mean I wanted to tell you everything I am planning on to but it just won’t come out. I really do hope and pray that I could hang out with you, as in hang out like a fan and an author kind of hang out uhm like we were going in a mall somewhere and we would stay in Starbucks while we were having a small talk like me asking you about everything. I am going to wait for that time baby and I am so excited whenever and wherever is that thing will happened.
I really hope and pray that we could be friends so that I could always talk to you or ask you some advice in case I am planning on writing a story and yes I am but I am scared to publish it maybe because no one will read it but it’s okay. But, I really want to be friends with you, not just a friend but a sister and I am looking forward on it, I really do hope you’ll visit in here (Philippines) soon and I am sure as hell I would be the first in line to take pictures and ask autograph with you. I love you, Anna!
I wish we could talk more and more and I remember omg I had dreamt about you and it was like you came here in my house with your husband, Jordan and you guys are such a cute couple and I ship you that time already and then take me to Texas and then you guys adopt me and I heard my alarm clock ringing and I cried and didn’t go to school. (lol) So yeah, I really do hope that we could be friends and that you’ll always remember me (even though I know you won’t :((() Like, you would tell me how was your day and I am going to tell you how was my day too or like I would tell you if I am crying because of my family problems again or if I am bored, I would tell you I miss talking to you. I am dreaming way too much, Anna and I am very sorry! I just really hope that you’ll remember me. I love you so much and Thank you. If I won’t end my letter right now, I’m sure as hell this will never ever stop lol so I had to say my goodbye now, sweetheart.
I know this letter of mine isn’t sweet at all but I really did tried to be one for you. But, I hope that you’ll appreciate this letter because I really stayed up all night for this if you only know and I didn’t go to church today to write this and I know I am dead. oH
You will always be my Anna Baenana! I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you!! Thank you so much for everything and I hope as hell, someone would help me for you to read this and I know I haven’t really talk to you that much but I hope, you’ll notice me and we’ll be friends!!! Pls pls pls pls I need you :((((
I would want Harry or any of the one direction boys to read After and see their reactions omg I am picturing Harry laughing and everyone would die because PERFECTION :-))) And on the other hand, I wanted to see Anna's reaction and I would be laughing because she will be this cute girl who smiles while reading Harry's tweet about After ohmygdaow.
I couldn't tell you or I couldn't guess how would be my life without you, your book, After. To be honest, I don't deserve something better until now, I just woke up realizing that I deserved better than I already have now. I cannot thank you you enough for everything that you have done, you've been a part of my life and I'm thankful.
You will always be the sweetiest, most lovable, sexiest, most beautiful, and everything to me. Thank you so much for everything, Anna.
And, here I am right now, writing this with tears running down all over my face, realizing that After ended already and that I will not be able to spend my time asking you what will happen in the next update. (even though you wouldn't tell me)
And, i felt very emotional when you updated the last chapter, it was actually funny when I am not proud of myself that time because I am not the first one to read the last chapter because I was debating with myself if I am ready to read it or not and I am just so afraid to cry so I waited and waited until I am ready to read it in the other day. But, anyways, I was so glad in chapter 294, I mean, that was the chapter you explained what is After for you, and everything was just so perfect.
And, yeah, I know this will be a little harsh for us of course but it's just true and that would be selfish of me if I'd say something that isn't even true. It is better for someone to be true than to pretend that you like them when you actually hate them. Like, there was someone in here who posted After (Filipino Version) and she said that she did asked you for permission to write the filipino version of After and guess what? she's not a one direction fan and everyone was so mad at her because she changed the name of the characters and everything. Annoying but yeah sorry for that, Anna! I am totally embarrass for that thing and for everyone because I really thought it was embarrassing when we are breathing the same air with whoever who made it but I really am sorry.
But, before I leave, I would love to tell everyone who is Anna Renee Todd for me (even though I didn't know so much about her but i'll try)
Well, I am just inlove to the most amazing author Anna Renee Todd from Texas who really loves to read and to write and that is our similarities and I'm proud!!! And, she's married with this hot guy who just went in here to tell me he loves me aye just kidding lols but she is married with this guy who's name is Jordan and they really made a cute couple even though I am not sure on what he really looks like but I am sure they are by the way Anna writing it as Tessa and she is really like Tessa and I think she's basing it on her life and what had she experienced. She really is Tessa Young, I suppose. Besides, she has the same tattoo with Harry and that is just so cute. And, woah, her favorite books includes The Hunger Games, 50 Shades of Grey and The Mortal Instruments and we're same im cryigdn!!! :-((( She really loves The Fray and I do, too. Anna Todd was my favorite author on wattpad and she has this curly blonde hair and I really love it and yeah she only wears toms which is Tessa did. Her voice is just a sound to my small ears. And, if she could go to one place only, she'd probably go to Paris (with me || too soon) And, she is really good at making quotes and that is my weakness omg but, true to the point, she's just being nice to everyone and the the only thing she was thinking would just come out and it ended up pretty good. And, guys, Anna is just so dead because she chose Harry than everything she always wanted omg Anna, Jordan is jealous im laughing lol. I am sure as hell that Jordan is kind, loving and succesful and everything you wnated to be of course lol he's your husband omg i had to stop this, im taking it too much like teasing and everything lol.
But, hey, you are more than perfect and I will never do regret that I did love you more than food and wifi. You are just you are and you are normal yet so special and I love you so much you pretty girl <417854
Okay, Anna! I have to go now, bye baenana lols I will always love you heaps!! See you and talk to you soon!! Omg okay byeee ugh I can’t go haha okay byeee. Xx
Anyway, I love it when you are always using Xx because I really think it was so cute aye okay bye! Love you heaps .Xx