3 hours into the night and we are officially drunk off our asses and high as kites.
I giggle as we watch cat fails on youtube. "They are so cute! But so mischievous too. I feel like I could be a cat in a different life."
Tina nods somberly. "Cats are such mysterious creatures. Sometimes they stare you right in the eyes and I swear...it feels like they can see into your soul."
Kimberly shoves a bunch of chips into her mouth. "Uh girl, I hate to break it to you but when a cat stares at you like that, it's probably because it's trying to let you know that it's two seconds from pouncing on your ass. It thinks you are its prey."
"Facts!" I shout, clicking into another video that promises to be the funniest cat video ever. I try to take another gulp of my drink before realizing that my cup is empty. I stand up and stagger towards the drinks. "Anyone else need a refill?"
They both raise their cups into the air and I refill them the best I can, my movements a bit sloppy. I pour some juice on my fingers as I fill up Tina's cup and I stare fixated by it dripping down my finger for a long moment before remembering that I'm suppose to give her the drink.
"Ok I think we waited long enough," Kimberly declares, after taking a sip of her newly refilled cup. "Why exactly is Dean giving you the silent treatment? It seemed like you guys were getting along on the ride home on Thursday."
"Yup," Tina confirms cheerily, nodding her head enthusiastically. "You guys were kind of flirting in the car when he was dropping me off."
"We were not!" I deny indignantly. "You take that back right this instant Cristina Ariana Marino!"
"Nope," Tina giggles, leaning her head against Kimberly's shoulder. "You were totally flirting."
I growl, stuffing more cheetos in my mouth. I wasn't flirting with him! I know I wasn't even if other people thought it looked like that. Is that why Dean got mad? Because he thought I was being a tease, flirting with him one minute but then not following through when he acts on it? Regardless of whether or not I was flirting with him, I didn't have to go and eat with him if I didn't want to and I won't feel bad for that.
"You won't feel bad for what?" Kimberly asks with a frown. "Oh god, you were a bitch to him weren't you?"
I roll my eyes but don't deny it. "I just told him I didn't want to be friends with him. He didn't take it so well."
"Girl," Kimberly says shaking her head in...disappointment? Amusement? I honestly can't tell at this point. "You are one stubborn bitch."
"Thanks," I reply sarcastically. "Anyway he was completely contradicting himself since he was trying to make me go on a date with him—"
"Whoa what?!" Kimberly screeched, jostling Tina from her shoulder as she jumped up. She looked towards Tina but pointed towards me saying, "Did she just say what I think she just said? Please tell me, Tina that I did not just hear her say she didn't want to go on a date with the sexy, mysterious Dean."
"That's what she said," Tina supplied cheerily, bobbing her head happily to the background music to some random youtube video playing on my laptop on the floor. The videos were long forgotten now though.
"I'm about two seconds away from kicking your ass," Kimberly threatens, swaying slightly even as she glares at me. "Explain yourself."
"There's nothing to explain," I insist. "He just drove to some Thai restaurant and wanted me to come inside and eat with him. I said no that I didn't want anything to do with him—"
Kimberly groans loudly in distress, her hands covering her eyes and I continue loudly over her.
"—And that school was ending in a few months anyone so really, what was the point?" I shrug, hoping that she'll let it go, even though I know that Kimberly has never let a single thing go in her life. "I already have you two, I don't need anyone else in my life."
"You know I love you but girl he's got one thing I can't give you," Kimberly states and when I frown at her in drunken confusion she clarifies by grabbing her crouch and shouting, "Dick! He's got a dick, hopefully a nice thick one too that can give you a nice, long orgasms. And while I'd have no problem helping a sister out and fulfilling your sexual desires, I know you don't go that way."
"I don't need him to satiate my sexual frustrations," I say. "I've got a vibrator and my hands for that."
"Ooh you have a vibrator?" Tina pipes in, intrigued. Her cheeks are pink but I can't tell if it's from drinking or from her random outburst. Still, she bravely continues, "Does it really work? To you know..."
"To make me come?" I supply, grinning when she fights though her embarrassment and nods confidently. Tina fighting through her modesty and shyness makes me want to hug her forever and ever. I truly love that girl with all my heart. Weirdly, her shyness makes me more confident. I don't think I'd be as open to most conversations if I didn't feel like if I acted comfortable about it, then maybe Tina would feel comfortable too. "I can only use it when I have the room to myself but yeah, it's given me some pretty great orgasms."
"You don't have one?" Kimberly asks her, her attention distracted for the moment by Tina's willingness to actually talk about sex. Kimberly tells us all her deets, most of the time without us asking but Tina is usually very closed up and embarrassed about sex talk.
"No," she admits, taking a small sip of her drink. "There's no way my parents would give me money for something like that. And if one of my brothers or my parents found out about it I'd be grounded and locked up for eternity."
Tina has three older, and very overprotective brothers who act like they are her father all the time. Her family bubble wraps her from everything, mostly because she's the youngest but also because she's the only girl and they think she needs to be protected from everything.
"You can't tell them you need money for a vibrator, silly" Kimberly says plopping back down next to Tina. "Tell them you need money for something for school or for a new jacket and instead buy the vibrator."
"And what if they ask where the jacket is that I was supposed to buy?"
"Ask for more money than the coat actually cost," I supply. "That way they won't suspect anything."
Tina nods, lost in thought. "I couldn't have it mailed to my house though. They go through all my stuff."
"I got you girl," Kimberly says, wrapping her arm around Tina's waist. "Don't you worry. We're going to help change the way you masturbate."
Tina blushes, ducking her head. "I've never...done that."
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Never?"
She shakes her head.
"You've never been curious?" Kimberly asks.
"Well yeah," Tina says, not quite able to meet either of our eyes. "But I've always been afraid I'd get caught. Or that I'd do it wrong or something."
"The only way you can figure it out is by touching yourself and figuring out what you like and don't like," Kimberly says firmly. "It's not something to be embarrassed about, Tina. It's completely natural so don't let anyone make you think otherwise."
She nods, giving her a thankful smile. "I know."
"Have you ever watched porn?" I ask, too curious. I think this is the longest she's ever spoken about sex without running away or excusing herself from the conversation. Now I know: if we want to get Tina to talk about sex, we need to get some alcohol in her first.
"Uh..." Tina turns beet red now, her eyes shooting around the room. "Weren't we talking about you and Dean? Do you think about him when you t-touch yourself?"
My mouth opens in shock but then turns into a scowl. Kimberly, however snaps up like she just realized what I was doing and narrows her eyes at me.
"That's right," she says, patting Tina on her side before pulling away. "We were talking about Carmen and Dean. So tell us, do you think about sexy Dean in the middle of the night? Do you imagine him touching your coochie and getting you all hot and bothered?"
"No!" I shout, shooting Tina a look which she pretends not to see. Traitor. "I'm honestly bored with all this sex talk. Let's watch a movie."
"You weren't bored with it when it was about me," Tina points out and I huff. Suddenly, I'm liking Tina better when she talked less.
"There's really nothing to say," I sigh. "No I don't think about Dean when I touch myself. To be honest I don't think bout him at all until a certain someone keeps bringing up his name in every conversation."
"Well excuse me for wanting my best friend to be happy," Kimberly argues, pushing her hair off her shoulders. "Don't you want to let one guy in? Just once?"
"No, not really," I lie bitingly.
"Ok well then don't let him in," she says exasperated. "But then why don't you just hook up with him? Have fun with him until we graduate? And don't act like you aren't attracted to him because that's utter bullshit. I know you, I can tell when you think a boy is cute."
"Ok fine, he's cute," I agree with an easy shrug that completely juxtaposes my angry tone. "But that doesn't mean I want to hook up with him. I'm not looking for a relationship but I don't want to give my virginity to some random guy either. I want him to mean something to me, at least for the first time anyway."
"How do you expect him to mean something to you when you won't even give anyone a chance?" Kimberly asks with a shake of her head.
"I gave Darren a chance last year," I say with a tilt of my head. "Look how great that worked out."
Darren was this guy who was a senior when I was a junior. He was really cute and I decided I'd try the whole dating thing with him. We dated for two months, did plenty of making out and I even let him get some under the clothes action but then I found out that he was talking to two other girls the entire time we were going out. I read the text messages straight from his phone. One of the girls he was texting with, they were sending each other naked pictures. So not only was I humiliated and left feeling like an idiot but I also wanted to bleach my eyes and memory from the whole experience.
"You didn't give that guy a real chance," Kimberly refutes. "You went out with him just looking for a reason to drop him."
"I did not!" I shout, standing up now too. Tina glances uneasily between each of us, trying to hide her face behind her cup. "I liked him, I wanted to see where things would go. Obviously he wasn't worth my time or effort. Thank god I didn't have sex with him, that would've been my biggest regret."
"The entire time you were going out with him you kept coming up with reasons to why you should break it off with him," Kimberly states firmly. "Which, ok maybe that was your gut telling you that something was wrong and that you shouldn't trust him. But it's also what you do every single time a guy shows interest in you."
I clench my hands into tight fists, frustrated and annoyed though I can't distinguish if the feelings are targeted towards Kimberly or myself. I know I have trust issues and intimacy issues and god knows what else. I know I don't put myself out there much but it can't not be a sign that the one time I put myself out there, I get cheated on.
"Guys," Tina whispers, looking worried. Drunk, happy Tina seems momentarily gone. All sucked up into our mess of an argument. "Please don't fight."
Kimberly sighs heavily. "You know I only say these things because I love you, right? I just don't want you to miss out on things and I don't want you to look back in ten years and wish you'd taken more risk, explored more. Dated more."
I step towards her and take her hand in mine, squeezing lightly. "I know and I love you for that. You're right, I do box myself off. Not only from guys but people in general. I want to change that about myself but it takes time. It's not something I'm going to just be able to change about myself over night, Kimberly. But I'll try, I promise."
Kimberly pulls me into a hug and a moment later I feel Tina jump into the hug too. We squeeze each other as tight as we can, laughing when Tina squeaks from the force.
"I'm hungry," Tina declares when we pull away after a moment. "It's only 10 pm. We should order some Chinese."
"Is Chinese food a good idea to mix with alcohol?" I ask, even as I walk towards my laptop to look up the number.
"Probably not," Kimberly answers. "But we'll switch to juice and water from now."
"Ooh and then we can watch a movie!" Tina says excitedly. "I vote for Pride and Prejudice! I love me some Mr. Darcy."
Kimberly shares a look with me and we both burst out laughing.
Well at least she had good taste in fictional men.
A/N: New chapter as promised! Please vote and comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts! New chapter will probably be up sometime next week <3