So here was my plan. Tomorrow, (I’d have to figure out a way to get them together) when Max gave Connie her present, I’d ask Connie, “Don’t you have something to give Max?”
Most likely, she’d go like, “What do you mean?” Then I’d leave the room and bring out Connie’s present to Max. She’d be too stunned to say that she didn’t buy it. Hopefully. That was something I’d have to pray works itself out. And, once they saw the presents, the beautiful cards (which, by the way, I’d have to buy for Connie along with her present for Max) they’d be a happy couple again and I’d be able to tolerate being in their presence. The problem was getting them into the same room to exchange the presents. Oh well. I had a whole day to figure that one out.
As Connie looked for a parking spot, she said absently, “It’s Saturday so it’ll be pretty crowded. Let’s try to stay together, okay?”
“Okay!” I chirped, though I felt an nervous churning in my stomach. I glanced at Ryan over my shoulder and made a face that said, “This should be a problem.”
He made a face back that said, “I’m gonna want more pay.”
I gave him a face that said, “What, are you all determined to see me in the gutter, bro?”
He shrugged innocently. Of course.
It was packed in the store, which was good, because there would be plenty of people to hide me when I finally sneaked away. The clothes section was on the far end of the store. My tote bounced against my thigh as I walked with Connie and Ryan. I was wearing large, uncomfortable boots that CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMPEDon the tiled floor, making me sound like a clumsy horse. Ryan was moaning every so often, sounding dreadfully ill. And every so often, I slapped the back of his head to shut him up.
More people were filling the store, making us all look like sardines. Connie, Ryan and I had to press our arms to our sides to weave threw the crowd, but every face that I saw raised my spirits. These people were going to help me hide from Connie. I felt like a spy, ready to begin a top-secret mission. I actually giggled a little bit, which was shocking. Ryan must have heard because he made an amused face.
When we finally reached the junior section, I decided I should probably start my search right away. I needed a nice long time, since I had no idea what present to get Max. I knew he liked baseball; he used to play it in high school. I often went over to his and Connie’s house to watch Nascar races with him. His favorite racer was Jeff Gordon. As I absently skimmed through racks of clothing, I was thinking. He liked music. His favorite band was Bon Jovi, though I never knew why. That screaming mess of electric guitars and hoarse old men always gave me headaches. But this wasn’t about me. Perhaps I could get him one of their CDs? The problem was, I didn’t know which ones he already had.
Okay, time to get going. Connie’s back was turned. I gave a miserable Ryan the thumbs up. He sighed and plodded over to Connie, ready to begin his distraction. But just as I was sneaking away, she turned and said, “Stace, what do you think of this?” She was holding up a cute yellow hoodie. It had a beautiful cut and would look absolutely adorable on her and I really wanted to see. But I couldn’t. When she saw me sneakily stepping away from the section, she frowned. “Where are you going?”
I looked around nervously. “Oh–uh, there’s something here I want to see.”
“That’s the woman’s section,” she said flatly. Connie was very petite and she was stuck in the junior’s section, as was I.
But she was right. I was heading toward the woman’s section. “Er–I feel myself growing a lot lately. I just want to check it out.” I ducked beneath a rack and scurried away, rolling my eyes at my stupid excuse. Ugh. My plan was ruined because Connie was going to be expecting me back soon. Why didn’t Ryan do what he was paid to do?
I went to the card section first. There was a huge aisle, though most of it was empty and a mess. Cards were scattered on the floor and stuffed into the wrong sections. I probably should’ve gotten here a little bit earlier. I sauntered over to the shelves and started searching through the section that said “For my Wife”. Now what kind of card was I searching for? I skipped right over the “Just For Laughs” section. This had to be sincere. I barely even skimmed the “Simply Said” section. It must be long and poetic, with maybe a few roses. Connie loved roses. Nothing corny. If I ever got a corny Valentine’s card from a guy, I would disown him. I started looking through the cards in the “Sentimental” section. These cards were large and sparkly with glitter. Nice! Sparkles!
As I searched, I saw some guy pass by and see me in the “For my Wife” section. He gave me a buggy-eye look and hurried on past.
I finally found a card so beautiful, I almost wanted to cry. My nose was burning when I slipped out the matching envelope. Hopefully the card would work the same magic on Connie.
I had the same good find with Connie’s card for Max. I had to make sure her card was more sentimental however, because there would be no personal note unless I forged her handwriting, which I wouldn’t. I wasn’tthat good. I felt a cage of giddy butterflies in my stomach, a mix of nerves and excitement. I liked keeping big fat secrets!
I held the cards clumsily. I considered putting them in my bag because
1. They were awkward to hold as I searched and
2. I didn’t want Connie to pop up and see me holding them
But I hesitated because
3. it would look way too much like I was shoplifting.
Yeah and how much help would I be to Connie and Max if I was carried out of the store by security guards? I looked around to make sure I was the only one in the aisle, and then hurriedly stuffed them into my tote.
Now onto picking up Max’s present. I snuck to the center of the store to the jewelry section. There was a large, glass counter shaped like a hollow square. Beneath the surface of the counter were shelves, on which were lines and lines of necklaces and earrings. There were spinning display cases above. Two old women were leaning on one side of the hollow square, and they jabbered away. They didn’t even notice me as I stood in front of them, keeping an eye out for Connie. I waited for a full three minutes (impossibly long minutes) before I finally cleared my throat. “Excuse me?” I said, trying to hold back my irritation.
They both snapped their heads up to look at me. One of them looked like a vulture; head jutting forward and white hair astray. The other looked like a frog; bugging eyes that were magnified by large, red-rimmed glasses. (Unbecoming).
Frog Woman smiled at me. “Can I help you?”
Vulture Woman snorted, most likely annoyed that I interrupted their absorbing gossip, and she strutted away to the other side of the hollow square, which was just ten feet away.
“I’m here to pick up an order for Max Fields?”
Frog Woman frowned, then moved to a computer several feet to the left and started clacking away with long shellacked nails. “F-I-E-L-D-S?” she asked for confirmation, eyes flicking briefly toward me, and I nodded. Several seconds later she said, “Ah yes. It arrived yesterday.” She moved gracefully to the other side of the square. She bent down and started rummaging through boxes and bags piled onto the floor. I was worried it would take her a long time to find it; it was a huge mess. But fortunately, she came back up several seconds later with a brown, cardboard box. I asked her if I could see it and when I opened up the box, I gasped. Inside was a beautiful, glinting silver pendant with a red rose in the middle. The petals looked soft like silk. It was so gorgeous and I just knew that this would fix everything.
“Max, you’ve done it,” I said under my breath.
“That will be one-hundred eighty-nine dollars, plus tax.” She smiled. I wouldn’t be surprised if that “plus tax” was her favorite thing to say while working here.
I reached into my bag and pulled out my wallet, where I’d stuffed Max’s money. I hopped from one foot to another as I rummaged through it. Other bills were uprooted in my search and the woman smiled.
“Time for you to spend some money, hon,” she said jokingly.
Laughing half-heartedly at her weak joke attempt, I handed her the payment and asked her if she could wrap it up really nicely. It seemed impossible that such an ugly cardboard box could hold such a beautiful piece of jewelry.
“Okey-dokey,” Frog Woman said, smiling.
I gagged. It so didn’t work when old women tried to act like teenagers.
“It’ll take a while,” she added apologetically.
“Well, I’ll wait,” I said, though I wasn’t nearly as patient as I made myself out to be. I hopped on one foot as the woman turned around and took her own sweet time to pulled out pretty floral wrapping paper.
“Stacey!”
I felt like a rabbit. I froze and my nose twitched, checking for my sister’s scent in the sea of people.
“Stacey!”
Between scores of bobbing heads, I could see Connie walking around the store, clothes draping over one arm. Ryan was following her, biting his bottom lip, looking around for me.
Frog Woman’s back was turned and I could hear the cutting of wrapping paper. She didn’t notice when I dropped to the ground and crawled away between hundreds of legs. People looked down at me and smothered giggles. I didn’t care. I had to get away. My knees hurt as I crawled on the hard, tiled floor.
“STACEY!”
I winced and flung myself behind a large rack of books. Breathing heavily, I waited there and looked around for Connie. I heard her shouting again and I stood poised on my toes, ready to leap away if necessary, and peered around the rack.
Connie was walking down the aisles, looking all around. Looking furious. Ryan was on her tail. As his eyes slowly scanned his surroundings, he saw me and his mouth formed a comical O. I shot him my most furious stare and waved him away, mouthing, “Distract her!”
Ryan shrugged like he has done this every day of the week and began an act that should’ve won an Academy Award. He picked up speed, reached Connie as she strutted quickly through the store, and started tugging at her arm.
“Connie, can I go see the Legos? Pleeease? Please, Connie, pleeease? This is so BORING! I came because I thought we were going to have fun. But this girl stuff is making me SICK!”
My sister turned to him and stared. “Ryan, what’s gotten into you? Why are you suddenly acting like an eight year-old?”
“No reason except that I’m bored to DEATH!”
People had stopped walking and were pointing and giggling at the scene Ryan was making. I loved him for it; Connie had completely forgotten about me. I was grinning as I watched. She sighed and looked around the store at the amused faces. “I’m really sorry about this,” she said, gesturing to a scowling Ryan. “I don’t know what his problem is!” When her gaze passed over my hiding spot, I jerked my head back in, smashing it against the corner of the rack.
“Ow,” I muttered, rubbing my skull. Then I spotted Frog Woman. She was looking around for me, a troubled expression on her wrinkled face. In her hand she held the gift-wrapped present. She spotted me and cocked her head like a confused puppy. I held out my hands and made a “hold on” gesture. She nodded uncertainly.
“Pleeeease, Connie??? I want to see if they have any Transformer Lego action figures!”
Oh man, I loved that kid.
“FINE! Only if you stop YELLING!” Connie yelled.
My breath was coming in ragged gasps and the throbbing in my head from that nasty connection with the rack corner didn’t seem to wanna stop. It was like there were dozens of little people inside my head and pounding at my skull with their tiny but effective hammers. My back was hurting because I was ducking low for so long, just in case my head was visible above the rack.
One teenage guy (cute, I couldn’t help but notice) passed me and saw how I was bent over like a frail old man. I smiled weakly at his alarmed expression. “Hi,” I whispered.
“Are you alright?” Concern cross over his handsome face. “Do you need help?” He practically looked ready to help me to an ambulance if I needed it. He was very sweet except for the fact that he didn’t whisper. He practically shouted over the ruckus my siblings were making.
I glared at him. He was going to blow my cover! Besides, I wanted to see the exchange between Connie and Ryan. “I’m fine! I’m just hiding. Get out of my peripheral!”
He looked hurt but left anyway.
Finally, Connie and Ryan left to most likely look at the Legos. She was no longer yelling my name, thank goodness. I slipped out of cover and scuttled across to the desk, where Frog Woman had not taken her eyes off me.
“Thank you,” I gasped, taking the package and stuffing it into my tote. I could tell she was about to ask me a question. She opened her mouth and inhaled. When I gave her a warning look, however, she shook her head ever so slightly.
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Anything else I can do for you?”
But she was talking to air because I was already on my way. I’d already wasted enough time. I had to get a present for Max. Fast.
I could hear Ryan still shouting and so I went in the opposite direction. Smart move, bro, letting me know where you are so I don’t go there. As I walked, I heard a piece of conversation between this giant, tattooed jock guy and a young, pretty chick who appeared to be his girlfriend. She had an unpleasant, nasal voice that sounded like her windpipe was as skinny as a straw.
“Did you hear that vociferous riot? They’re going to wake the deceased!” I raised my eyebrows as I passed.
“Yeah,” Dumb-Jock chuckled. “The turkey-faces.”
Turkey-faces?
I was literally running through the store, to the sports section. (CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP) It wasn’t weird at all, my running, at least to me. Mom and I often ran through the stores when were in a hurry. It was fun, having races and stuff. This wasn’t fun anymore. This was frantic. I could not let Connie see me, especially considering how moody she’d been lately.
As I ran, I was eyeing all around me, checking for any signs of her. Stupid of me that I wasn’t looking where I was going, because I ran straight into the arms of a huge business man. He was wearing a pinstripe, tailored suit and a dark blue tie. I stared up at him in horror. He had an amused light in his eyes but he kept his mouth in a perfect line.
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Pinstripe asked me, as if I were five, not sixteen.
My face was probably seven shades of red. Ugh! How could I humiliate myself more? But I held back my embarrassment, smiled at him and stepped back. I wasn’t even up to his chin.
“I’m running away from aliens,” I said. “They just landed their UFO in the parking lot!” I jabbed a finger toward the parking lot. “And so I have to run.” Which I did, though slower than I would’ve liked because of my darned boots.
My legs were just beginning to feel numb when my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was Connie. My heart thumped in my chest. I considered answering, but then decided against it. So I slipped it back into my pocket and let it ring. I FINALLY made it to the sports section. It was such a teeny tiny aisle, I felt a surge of fury. A cute worker with a small triangular goatee was stocking shelves and I stormed up to him and demanded, “Why is this section so freaking tiny?”
He stared at me. But I was way past embarrassment. I huffed and turned back to the shelves. The aisle was small but it was actually filled to its utmost capacity with soccer balls, helmets, teeth guards, basketball gear, footballs, even shoes for sports. There was hunting stuff; knives, rifles, fishing poles. It actually wasn’t at all small and I felt bad for shouting at the worker. But he seemed to have forgotten it already.
“I want to see the guns!!!” yelled Ryan. Wow, for a thirteen year-old, he didn’t seem to have forgotten all the tips about being a bratty little toddler. He was doing great, even though I simply asked him to “distract her” not infuriate her by acting half his age. Still, I had to admit, he was really good. Really, I . . .
Guns?
I yelped out loud and ignored as Cute Guy glanced at me. I heard Connie shout, “No! I am NOT your slave! Where’s Stacey? We’re going home. STACEY!”
Cute Guy shook his head to himself as he worked. I smiled at him. “Ain’t it the truth?” I said and he sighed and turned to me, looking pleased to talk to someone.
“I’ve been listening to those two yelling at each other for the past half hour! It’s ludicrous!”
I nodded excessively and then heard Ryan scream for guns again. And Connie complied!! Had she lost all her hardheadedness as soon as I didn’t need her to?
I looked around frantically something. Anything to give to Max. No basketball or hunting. The soccer . . . eh. No. Their shouting grew louder. And then I saw it. At first it didn’t seem true but it was! I gaped up at it. At the top of the shelf was an autographed baseball! I couldn’t read the name from here but Max knew all the players. That was it!
“SHUT UP, RYAN! As soon as we find your sister, we’re going home.STACEY!!”
“Uhm,” I said hesitantly to Cute Guy. “Can you get that for me?”
He shrugged good-naturedly and left his work to assist me. Aww, he was so kind. He wasn’t much taller than me, actually. He had to stand on the first shelf to reach the ball.
I turned it over in my hands and looked for a price-tag. Fifteen dollars. Most likely a fake autograph but I had no time to look for anything else.
“STACEY, GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!”
“What a nag,” Cute Guy muttered as he went back to stocking shelves. “She sounds ready to murder. That Stacey had better watch her back.”
Thanks for the tip, I thought. Ahead of Connie, I saw Ryan running around the corner into the aisle. Ryan saw me, his eyes grew wide and he gasped.
“What now?” I could hear Connie snarl.
I took off down the other way, gripping the baseball tightly. I heard Ryan moan, “There’s a guy stocking shelves in front of the guns!” I was just waiting for him to throw himself on the ground and start kicking his feet.
When I made it to the beeping line of cashiers, I was wheezing and clutching a stitch in my side.
“Ring this up for me,” I said, pulling the cards sneakily from my tote and putting them on the conveyor belt. “And hurry!”
The girl looked hardly older than me. She was chewing pink gum. Each time she chomped down on it, there was a smacking sound. As she rang up the ball and the cards, she tried to blow a bubble. It was a good one too and I felt myself getting mesmerized by it. And then it popped all over her face.
“Oh . . . er, sorry ‘bout that,” I said. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”
She was too busy peeling pink gum off her face to answer me. And to finish ringing me up. I tapped my foot impatiently. Finally, I just dug into my bag and pulled out the money. “Keep the change,” I said, grabbing my purchases and stuffing them into the tote.
And so, having completed my job in the store, I went off in search of my furious sister. I pasted the most innocent expression on my face. I added a bit of annoyance in there, just because I was really miffed at her, screaming all over the store. And now I had to be seen walking out with her.
I wasn’t in any big rush to find her. It felt good to walk for once. My legs were aching from that marathon I ran.
I finally found Connie in the book aisle. Usually, she’d stop what she was doing to skim through them. But she didn’t have any interest in doing so now. Her face both splotchy and red, but pale as well. She was slightly slumped over. But she looked furious and she no longer held her clothes. Ryan was following her, head wagging back and forth, and still yelling. Though he sounded miserable, I could not mistake the pleasurable expression on his face. I had no doubt he was enjoying himself. When I walked up, Connie saw me and glared.
“Stacey,” she said. “Where have you been?”
“I WANT TO SEE THE GOLDFISH!” Ryan yelled.
“Where have you been?” I said, trying to sound concerned and upset. “I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you.”
“HOW ABOUT THE PLAYSTATION 3 GAMES? WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING? UGGH! THIS IS SOOOO BORING!!!”
“You’ve been looking for me? I called your phone! Why didn’t you answer?”
I stared at her and put a hand over my chest. “You called me? Gee, Connie. I’m sorry. I must not have heard. The store is very loud, you know.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “Stacey, I am SO telling Mom when we get home. Come on, we’re going.” Without another word, she marched past me.
“Did you buy that pretty sweater?” I asked lightheartedly as I skipped along behind her.
On our way out of the store, I was silently congratulating myself. I had been so shrewd and so dang sneaky.
I didn’t know why Ryan was still yelling. He was going to lure the security guards over here and they’d bodily remove us from the premises. I looked at him and tried to send brain waves. “Why are you still yelling?” I wanted to say, though I had a sneaking suspicion he was doing it just because he was having fun.