Bismillah.
Chapter Thirty – Six: A Step Backward
Fatima's POV
The rest of the days went as smoothly as I have hoped them to be. Alhamdulillah. We've been working a month now for our project. Over 10 million pesos have been raised and infrastructures were being built. More medical teams were also sent in Marawi City. We were now editing video footages the doctors and volunteers sent to us. We have come up with a youtube channel and it has already reached to over five million subscribers in just a month. SubhanAllah.
Right now, we are in Rapmon's video studio. We have been partnered and divided into groups to produce three set of videos. The said video studio turned out to be one of the neighboring houses the eight bought in our compound. Jungkook even went home for a while as he felt sleepy and wanted to sleep in his bedroom.
"How about we add this line?" Suga asked me.
I wrote what he typed on the part where a mother was embracing her sick son.
"Humanity must not turn a blind eye," I read.
"Hmm, too serious, imposing and negative," I commented.
Suga, Rapmon and I were in charge of the storyline for each finished video. Tae, Jungkook and Jimin were the ones editing the sequence of the video while Hobi and Jin chose the sound effects. Isaac was the one in charge of putting Qur'anic verses and hadith after we hand the finished video to him with the typed lines.
"What do you think RM?" I asked turning to RM who was seated next to Suga. Suga was between us.
"How about if we type, 'If we do not turn a blind eye?" RM asked.
Suga and I looked at each other then nodded in agreement.
"That would be better," I said.
Suga started typing. After which, he started bending his neck. RM started massaging the back of his neck. Then Suga made a moaning sound that made me blush.
I hurriedly stood up and pretend to look at the time. It was 3:10pm.
"I think we all should take a break and have our snacks before we pray for Asr," I announced at everyone.
"Finally!" Jin said, stretching his arms.
Tae, Jungkook and Jimin gave each other high fives. And moved out of the working room to head out to the living room where we left the three large boxes of family size pizza.
RM stood up too. Isaac who was still writing on a sticky note, looked at me.
"Just one more verse," he said.
After writing, he placed the pen and the note on his desk and came to me. As if by habit, his hand encircled around my waist. Then he kissed my forehead. It was PDA and it made me blush. The boys are watching, for sure.
"Come, let's eat our box of pizza," Isaac said.
I just nodded at him and walked beside him, hand still on my waist. RM and Jin were walking ahead of us. I looked back and saw Suga still typing and Hobi still editing. I wanted to call them but that might spark us Isaac's possessiveness. Maybe they will just follow in a little while.
When we reached the living room, they were already eating. Jungkook turned on the flat screen television and was flipping channels. Then he stopped at MTV. This alarmed me that I did not notice Isaac handing me a slice of pizza. It was then RM grabbed the channel and turned it to CNN.
"Baby," Isaac called.
I got the slice of pizza and thanked him for it. The guys kept on eating and Hobi as well as Suga was still not around. I got a box of six remaining slices of pizza and some tissue.
"Hobi and Suga are still working. I'll just bring this to them," I told Isaac, asking his permission.
"Okay," he said and smiled warmly at me.
I stood up and scurried back to the working room. The door was slightly opened. As I was about to get in. I heard two rapping voices. This made my heart raced. Still I tiptoed and saw Suga seated next to Hobi. Hobi was playing some remix sounds and they were really rapping.
I could clear my throat and make myself heard for them to notice me. But there's something about how Suga closed his eyes as he rap with that powerful voice of his. Or how J – Hope moved his arms and his hands, then snapped his fingers in rhythm.
"Hectic days, keeping myself busy, distraction filled schedule," Suga rapped.
"But I won't forget burned into the back of my mind like tattoo. We can't return to those days. If I could, I'd call your name. No, but I'll accept the blame. It really is time to say goodbye," Suga kept on rapping.
I wonder who he wrote that for. To whom is he saying goodbye? Did Suga have an unforgettable girl in his life?
Then Hobi continued the rap.
"What have you been up to lately? Who are you thinking of so far away? Life without you is unbelievable. But even so, I still gotta go. To the person I loved too much. To the red thread that got too entangled in itself. I couldn't reach you, so I'll walk on a separate path. For that reason, I'll say goodbye," Hobi rapped.
Another words of goodbye. Did Hobi love someone too much too?
"Uhm, guys," I finally said, not being able to take the thrill and curiosity.
Suddenly, Hobi turned so instantly that his elbow knocked Suga's face. Suga fell from his chair of the impact. I hurriedly placed the box of pizza on a nearby desk and went to Suga.
"Hey are you okay?" I asked him.
Suga touched his face and it was red. He looked like a snowman with a red spot on his face. Suga looked at J – Hope with an intense glare. And Hobi raised both of his hands, standing up.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Hobi apologized.
Suga stood up and dusted himself. He was already standing in front of me. Hobi went to the box of pizza and started eating one slice.
"Hmm, this tastes so good. Thanks for bringing this Fatima," he said.
But Suga and I were just staring at each other. I was the first to break the gaze. Hobi came to us and he was holding another slice.
"Eat," he told Suga, handing him the pizza.
"Next time, be careful," Suga told him and got the pizza.
Suga ate and went back to his seat, as if working while eating. Then Hobi just ate in front of me with his eyes on me.
"How long were you standing over there?" Hobi asked and pinpointed at the doorway.
"Long enough to hear you both rapping," I said loudly.
Hobi and Suga both started coughing. Suga looked at me and then at the bottled water on Jimin's table. He stood up and got it. As he drank, Hobi looked for water too and saw it at Isaac's table.
"You don't mind, do you?" J – Hope asked.
Before I could answer, he already drank the remaining water of my husband's.
Suga and Hobi looked at each other, as if communicating what to say to me, which sort of annoyed me.
"Spill," I commanded them with both of my hands on my hips.
"We were just rapping some lines we composed Fatima. No big deal," Suga answered then shrugged his shoulders.
He was about to return to his seat but I pulled his shirt.
"Who are you both saying goodbye to?" I asked him curiously.
"Someone unimportant," Suga answered.
"Hmm, too unimportant for you to secretly write lines too and rap your heart out? I could tell by that remix that Hobi played that it's been quite long enough that you composed that," I said confidently then crossed my arms on my chest.
"Fatima, we were just bored and ..."
But Hobi wasn't able to finish because Suga interrupted.
"What we do in our leisure time is none of your business Fatima Khalid," Suga interjected, emphasizing my new last name.
Then Suga scratched his hair as if annoyed by my presence. He placed the bottled water on the desk with a loud thud that the water bottle fell on the floor. Instead of picking it up, Suga just placed his hands on his pockets and left the room.
My heart sank and I knew that was the first time Suga raised his voice at me. And his fierce angry eyes pierced through my heart.
"Don't worry about it. Suga is just emotionally pressured. He doesn't like talking about his emotions these days. He prefers to write and rap," J – Hope explained.
I bit my lips, stared at my blue doll shoes, and felt my eyes go misty. This was Suga. The one who felt my heart and now he couldn't even get to care whether he was being disrespectful or not. It was as if he just pretended to be nice to me all these weeks.
"Hey, hey, don't cry," Hobi comforted me.
I shook my head. I felt him touched my shoulder to make me look at him. Still I shook my head. My nose was already starting to be itchy and runny. I reached for my handky and started wiping my tears. I blew my nose too.
Then Hobi laughed.
"You are shy to let me see you cry and yet you aren't shy to let me hear that," he teased.
I raised my head and hit him on the chest. But Hobi touched my arm then he rubbed my shoulders. I stepped backward, aware that I shouldn't let him touch me and vice versa.
J – Hope smiled.
"Fatima, you are Ms. Harsh, you aren't supposed to be crying. You should be the one making us cry," Hobi teased.
"I'm serious here," I reiterated, stomping my feet.
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J – Hope's POV
As Fatima stomped her feet and wiped her tears, I wanted to just hug her close and laughed at her childishness. My heart burn with that deep admiration and longing. I inhaled and stared at the woman who barely even knew the effect she still has on all seven of us.
"Give it time. Suga will realized it was wrong for him to raise his voice to an angel like you," I told her.
"Suga did what?" Jimin's loud voice was heard in the entire room.
Jimin was holding two bottled soft drinks. He instantly looked at Fatima. Oh oh, here we go.
"What the heck? Why did Suga raise his voice to you Princess?" Jimin asked, as he placed the bottled drinks on the desk.
Fatima shook his head.
"It was my fault. I was being nosy," she said, defending Suga.
"I don't believe you. Hobi, what happened?" Jimin asked me.
I opened my mouth to answer him but remembered Fatima was in the room. So I just whispered to Jimin's ears.
"She caught us rapping Let Go. Then wanted to know who it was for. Suga got annoyed and perhaps panicked too. He lost his temper," I told Jimin softly.
Jimin just nodded a bit then stared back at Fatima.
"I'll reprimand Suga if that would make you feel better," Jimin said.
"No. J – Hope, why did you need to whisper at Jimin. What is it that you didn't want me to hear?" Fatima asked.
Fatima's eyes were pleading as if she really wanted me to tell her. But I can't, can I?
"When the time is right, I'll tell you. Besides, it's Suga's secret to tell, not mine," I told her.
"Then tell me yours then. Who are you saying goodbye to?" Fatima said, standing up straighter, her eyes boring into mine.
"Fatima.." I began.
"I thought I heard Jimin shout," Jungkook's voice said.
True enough, by the door, Jungkook was there.
"Jungkook, to whom is Hobi and Suga saying goodbye too? And why were you intently watching MTV awhile back? And why is it that Taehyung was able to hide a keyboard instrument in one of the rooms? And how come Rapmon kept on humming a tune..." she paused.
She had a contemplating look on her face. Then she stared at me then at Jimin and Jungkook.
"Rapmon kept on humming a tune... same as the one you and Suga rapped. I also heard Jin sing some lines with the same tune..." she said then looked at nothing before returning her gaze at me.
"You are all making music. You've been making, playing, singing, composing haram music? I can't believe it," Fatima asked, touching her chest.
"How could you?" she asked, pain on her voice, feeling betrayed.
"No, no, Fatima, it isn't like that," Jimin was trying to explain to her.
"There can be no valid reason Jimin. You all went against your promise and our agreement. Did Big Hit Entertainment finally get you to say yes?" she asked.
Nobody spoke. Then as if the devils were whispering me to hurt her deeply, my mind recalled all those days that we had to endure unloving her.
"Yes," I answered bravely to her.
"Hobi!" Jimin and Jungkook shouted.
Tears fell on Fatima's eyes and my eyes watered with tears too. I knew sooner or later, she will find out the truth. Sneaking out was already tiring for all seven of us. Maybe we should just come out in the open and let her know to get it over with.
"What's going on here?" Isaac's voice broke the silence in the room.
"Fatima, why are your crying?" Rapmon asked.
"Guys, what did you do?" Tae asked, panic on his voice.
Jin went towards Fatima and searched her face.
"Fatima, what happened?" Jin said.
But Fatima stepped backwards and Jin felt slightly rejected based on his facial expression.
"All of you lied to me," Fatima's crack voice uttered.
"Tae, why didn't you tell me it wasn't only you?" she asked then looked at Tae.
Wait, am I missing something? Did Fatima catch Taehyung singing and playing instrument too? Oh yeah, she made mention about the keyboard instrument.
"Because..." Tae started to explain and go to her.
She stepped backwards again. Jimin and Rapmon also raced towards her direction. However Fatima stepped backwards, and raised both of her hands.
"Sorry, I can't take this," she said.
"Love, Fatima love, hear us out first," Rapmon was pleading.
"Step back," she warned him.
Isaac quickly went to his wife and stood between her and the guys. His expression was grim but calm.
I walked my way towards them and uttered a familiar line I once read.
"Sometimes a step backward could save a person. Sometimes stepping forward could do more damage. Step back guys," I advised them with a serious expression.
This was getting out of hand. Fatima was not supposed to know of our betrayal yet. She was supposed to know after the Marawi Project when we already have left the house. Good job J – Hope. You just mess things up big time! My mind was telling me.
After making sure we weren't approaching Fatima anymore, Isaac turned around to face his wife.
"What did they do?" he asked her calmly.
This was a crucial point. If she tells him the truth, it will be the end of Handsome Eight. Isaac as far as we know him is the kind of man that one mistake, one betrayal, one lie, it will be the end, no more required explanation nor a moment of hesitation. Isaac Khalid is choosy with people he works and befriends with.
"They ... they ..." she was stuttering.
Fatima slightly looked at me and I shook my head, as if telling her to just keep it a secret, for now. What will Fatima do now? I hope she will step backwards from Isaac too and trust that it might just save our souls momentarily, until we can save our own soul, without her.
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"And if Allah touches you with harm, none can remove it but HE."
- Qur'an 6:17
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Jazakallahu khairan! Hope you had a happy eid! ^___^