E I G H T E E N
어머니 | mother
✧
JUDAS NAM'S MANSION looked like a palace of ice.
Shrouded in snowfall, a castle of sharp-edged ivory and silver pierced a hazy, pre-dawn sky. Glass balconies and soft-lit pavilions were stacked narrowly atop each other like guardian trellises. Sprawled across the snow-dusted front was a pool of water as still as glass, elongating the mansion with its perfect reflection.
Eris straightened the pin on her blazer and tugged on her white gloves. The bodyguard's clothes that Petra had nabbed did nothing to stop icy winds from seeping into her bones.
"What we need out of Judas is a confession," Petra had said the previous night, turning that copper pin in her fingers. "Judas will think Luke has only just connected the dots about him from digging into Dom's stuff. This works out perfectly, because Luke will head to Judas's house, use his brilliant acting to vent his anger and entertain the son of a bitch, and you..."
She'd turned to Eris then, eyes sparkling. "You'll be dressed as a bodyguard, tailing Luke's escort. When they're talking, you, Eris, sneak upstairs and search for the knife that matches the doctor's wound. Seems like Judas took it so the police wouldn't find it and trace its origin."
Now, Eris bowed her head and followed the suited broad-shouldered man leading Luke through silver gates. Behind her, Luke's jaw was tight as his eyes swept across his icy surroundings. She wondered how much of his anger was real.
Judas's mansion was all glass walls and trickling wall fountains. A ceiling glittering with crystal chandeliers arched high overhead. Their feet echoed against reflective white marble.
The mansion resembled him. Judas Nam was a wolf in sheep's clothing. A monster hidden beneath beauty.
"Chairman Nam will meet you in his office," said the bodyguard. His voice was low, and his brows were thick and furrowed. "This way."
His office.
"A little spying did the trick," Petra had explained. "He meets people in 'his office' on the first floor, but his actual office is on the second floor."
They arrived at a glass door. Eris paused right before it, a guard taking her post. The first bodyguard glanced over, disinterested, then turned to press his thumb on a sensor. He waited for Luke to enter.
Luke's gaze caught hers for a split second. Careful.
Her lips tilted, as if to say of course. The doors slid shut, sealing him inside, separated only by crystal clear glass. The first bodyguard disappeared from the room, a finger to his earpiece.
Eris touched the copper pin on her blazer sleeve and listened closely.
Muffled voices echoed inside. A deep, smooth one greeted Luke and invited him to sit, an invitation Luke refused.
Judas, she thought with a shiver.
Petra's voice echoed in her memory. "Luke, you're an actor. Do something to make him turn around. When his back is turned, Eris will take this film"—she'd waved a translucent slip in the air—"and transfer the bodyguard's fingerprint from the door's sensor."
Now, Eris turned her head slightly. Judas, dressed head to toe in ebony, leaned back as the latter spoke in low, tense tones. His lips were curled--Petra hadn't been joking when she'd said Luke's anger would entertain him. He drummed his fingers lightly on the armrest of his chair.
But something about him was off.
A mad gleam burned in his eyes--something both unhinged and calm, like a caged beast falling mysteriously silent. A hint of white teeth flashed behind a close-lipped smile. His lids hung low, lazy, his brows arched with cold interest.
A strand of hair had fallen loose of his perfect bun, curling along the side of his face. Judas tilted his head, lips tugging higher as Luke leaned forward.
Her heart leapt in her throat in fear. Fear for Luke.
She stepped backward, closer to the glass.
"--disgusting." Luke's voice was strong, furious, edged with poison. "I looked up to you, the way you grew your company and took over the city. I used--" He laughed. "I used to watch documentaries about you and your success. My mom would point you out and tell me that this was what a life behind a camera should look like. But everything was a lie, wasn't it? You cheated your way up like everyone else. It's disappointing. Pathetic."
A laugh burst out of Judas's lips, a flash of madness. But it dissolved just as quickly.
"Cheated," he repeated, a grin stretching wide. "Cheated. And can you say you've never cheated? Hasn't precious Arjun used your connections to bring you the best offers?"
"You're a murderer."
Judas closed his eyes. "I don't murder, Luke. I make sacrifices."
Luke nodded, numb. "Did that logic soothe you when you drugged and killed Michelle Jung?"
"Defending Hope as well?" His eyes snapped open, a flash of ice. "How noble of you."
Luke pressed on in a low voice. "The picture behind you," he began, "of you congratulating Michelle on her award. It was taken two days before you killed her."
"And?"
His lips pulled into a mirthless smile. "You relish in the fact that you stole your success from her, don't you? How does it feel, running away every second of your life from the truth of how weak you are?"
The words hit home. Any trace of amusement vanished from Judas's eyes. Satisfaction swelled in Eris's chest.
"Look at her," Luke said, his voice cold as stone. "Look at her. Or is it too painful, knowing you're a fraud?"
Her heart hitched. Look at her. Luke was goading him into turning around.
Sure enough, Judas rose to his feet, eyes cold, and turned to face the photo. "Spoiled. Foolish. A boy like you can nevrr understand..."
Eris jumped into action as he went on. She drew out the film and smoothed it over the sensor. Risked a furtive glance into the office. Luke had drawn closer to Judas, somehow knowing to block her from view.
Perfect.
She peeled the film off and narrowed her eyes. The guard's oily fingerprint was etched onto its translucent surface, perfect for use at any sensor in the mansion.
She left her post, heart pounding.
Ten minutes. That was all she had. She slipped out of the room and up the stairs.
Her feet sank soundlesly into plush white carpet as she navigated the second floor. She made it a point to avoid the indoor balconies and wove through bright halls to a glass-walled room sealing in narrow dark shelves and a sprawling ebony desk. From the window-wall to the back, an expansive view of the glittering Hills rolled down into snow-touched mist.
"This better work," she murmured to herself. Then, with a deep breath, Eris pressed the film to the sensor by the office door.
The glass slid open with a click. Heart pounding, she slipped inside.
Gleaming plaques and framed certificates mounted on the shelves blurred past her. The next instant she was at his desk, fingers skimming past useless files on the surface, then kneeling to tug hard on each locked drawer below.
Glancing furtively outside the glass walls, she slipped a bobby pin from her hair and got to work. The last time she'd picked a lock was when she'd broken into Luke's trailer, the uneven curves of the pin bumping clumsily against the teeth of the lock. She steadied herself, closed her eyes, let feeling become her eyes.
Click. She slipped the pin between her teeth and pried the first drawer open.
Black manila folders. Jumble of letters. Contracts. Business transactions, all useless. She moved on, letting raw instinct take the reins. More paperwork. Bills and reports and invitations. Nothing. Bobby pin in hand, she moved to the final drawer--
Only to realize it was unlocked.
Her breath caught. In fact, the drawer was popped open just slightly, as if someone had closed it carelessly, and it had bounced right back.
Something clinked unsteadily inside. When she nudged it open, Judas's silver ring lay atop a fresh set of half-torn envelopes.
A shiver glossed her spine as she remembered its silver gleam like a cold sneer. His vacant eyes, still in a way no sane man could be. The crazed half-furious, half-amused strain of his voice. With hands gloved in white, she took the ring gingerly in her fingers and rose it into the light. The silver winked as she turned it, reading the Chinese engraved onto the rusting metal.
功率.
Power.
Did this connect to his family? Why did he take it off? Had he ripped it off in a fury after losing his mother? And what about his father, with all that money in Hong Kong?
Ofir's voice echoed in her ears. Judas Nam built an empire from his own pain.
Ice coated her insides as she reached for the envelopes. She'd thought they were discarded business letters, tossed out in frustration. She was wrong.
They were letters from his father, all bearing the lotus of a Hong Kong seal, an address of smeared ink, blurred dates. Months old. Years old. The stamps had long expired, the papers themselves aging into a bruising yellow.
Jude,
I know that the past is something neither of us can forget. I know I am a monster in your eyes. I know I can never redeem myself and that I've lost you for perhaps forever.
But if you'll let me in once more, things can be different. The future has never been brighter.
There's a place here in Hong Kong for you. The riches here outweigh those in Seraph. Come back to me, Jude. Come back, and I can show you just how much you can become. This life has healed me. I believe it can heal you as well.
I will never stop telling you how sorry I am. I would give everything to see you again.
But it didn't stop there. More paper spilled across her hands, smeared words and broken seals. Letter after letter, his father pleaded. Yellowing parchment and dark ink blurred into a slew of apologies and earnest offers. Jude, I'm sorry. Jude, I've sworn to myself that I will do better. Jude, you never deserved any of it. Jude, Jude, Jude--
They went on and on until the papers turned white and the dates lined up to the current year.
Eris's mind spun. Judas had kept each letter instead of simply trashing them or blocking mail from his father. Which could only mean--
He's reading each one, or he read all of them recently.
She was skimming his father's most recent letter when she noticed a smear of red on the top right corner of the paper, so faint she could have missed it.
Blood.
Eris's gaze flew back to the cabinet. All that had been inside was Judas's ring and his father's letters. Unless...
She leaned closer and smoothed her gloved hands across the bottom surface of the drawer. Her fingers caught on a fabric loop.
Her heart jumped. A secret compartment. With a swift tug, the surface came loose.
She forgot how to breathe.
There, glinting in the beginnings of sunrise, lay a double-edged knife stained with ugly crimson. Blood smeared not only the blade but the handle as well. But that wasn't the only thing. Beneath the knife were curling notepad papers. License numbers. And next to the photographs were an array of small white bottles the length of her palm, all bearing the same label--
SECOBARBITAL
Breaths shallow, she fumbled for her phone to snap photos, then tucked everything into the inner pockets of her blazer. The knife she kept in her sleeve.
Mission accomplished, she thought. Now, to get out...
Adrenaline buzzed in her veins as she returned Judas's desk to its original state and left the office. The glass walls slid shut with a definite click as she strode down the hall, a rush of cool excitement and fear washing through her body--
"I always knew you were a sly one."
Her blood chilled to ice.
There, standing a few yards from the office entrance, was Celestia Min. Bare-faced, hair damp, a bathrobe wrapped around her body, but her nevertheless.
The photos of her at Judas's mansion, she realized. Her heart sank like stone. Dom, her manager.
Why had it never occurred to her that Celestia hadn't only been sleeping with Nam, but working with him as well?
"Don't--"
"You either follow me down there, or I call the guards to bring you by force," she broke in smoothly, arching a brow. "Your choice."
✧
"PREDICTABLE."
Judas's eyes locked onto hers with frightening amusement as she entered the room. Eris held his gaze evenly, brushing her fingers absently over the pin on her sleeve.
Luke, who had braced his arms against Judas's desk, tensed.
Stone-faced bodyguards armed with guns lined the office entrance outside. Celestia folded her arms calmly as Judas's lips curved.
"She came from your office," reported the actress. "Just as you suspected."
"Hm."
Something dark stirred in Luke's eyes as he saw his co-star. "Celestia," he began, voice low, "what are you doing?"
She smiled. "Following orders, something you have yet to understand."
"You're making a mistake."
"No." Her voice cooled to ice. "You made a mistake. Because of you, I no longer have a manager." Emotionless, her eyes slid to Judas's. "She's all yours."
Eris's heart hammered as she felt Luke's gaze fall on her. As the glass walls slid behind the retreating actress, sealing the three of them inside, Judas's lips stretched into a grin.
"How bold," Judas remarked, "searching my office when I least expected it. Look how Edmond has changed you. From a reporter to a dirty thief."
"This wasn't Edmond," she snapped. "Nothing I do is for him."
"Of course it isn't. It's always for yourself."
"I did it for my brother."
He barked out a laugh. "Oh, Eris. You despise your brother."
"No, I don't," she answered sharply, lifting her chin against the torrents of fear and anger filling her body. "I hate what you made Elias become. But that's not who he is. That's not who he is at all. You never knew him."
"Oh, I knew him. I know him." Judas rose to his feet and rounded his desk. Luke stiffened. "In fact, I know and understand him better than you ever have. He was a manipulative bastard that mistreated his girlfriend and blamed her death on his best friend. Isn't that right, Luke?"
Luke said nothing. Fear roared in Eris's chest--she was afraid to look at him, afraid to see the conflict warring in his eyes, the uncertainty that tormented him as he tried in vain to pick a side. Judas's eyes flashed.
"This is what you call pathetic," Judas sneered. "You have no idea what you stand for."
A bold fire flared within her. "And what do you stand for, huh? Your riches? Your family? Your father is in Hong Kong and your mother is--"
Blinding pain struck her face. She stumbled back, gasping.
"You bitch," he snarled. "How dare y—"
A blow to the face sent him reeling. Luke obscured her vision and advanced with cold fury. "Try touching her again."
"Luke--"
"I dare you."
Judas bared his teeth in a vicious smile and braced himself against the table. "Your emotions make you weak."
"Your father would be ashamed of you," Luke hissed.
Judas's smile vanished.
"Guards!"
The glass wall slid open. Footsteps poured in. Eris tasted blood in her mouth as arms wrenched Luke back. He shrugged them off with a vicious shove, eyes wide with hatred as he watched Judas stumble to his feet.
"You've worn down my patience," spat Judas, bloodied spittle flying out of his mouth. "You have things from my office I'd like you to return."
"Which one?" Something ugly and cold rose in Eris's throat. "The knife you used to kill your mother's doctor? The drugs that killed Joey Quon? The license plate numbers?" She didn't take them, but the next words rushed out of her mouth. "Your dad's letters?"
Luke's voice rose. "Eris—"
Judas's lip twisted. "Search her."
What happened next was a blur. Guards lunged for her; Luke threw himself forward with panic only to be wrenched back. One moment Judas's knife was hidden in Eris's sleeve--the next instant it was pointed outwards, driving guards back in a wide, defensive arc. A mix of shock and hesitation tightened the air.
"There's no need to take it by force." That familiar calm from years of reporting experience slipped into her voice. "I'll return it to you. Just tell me one thing." All the years of pain her brother had suffered, the blood tainting the city, the fear that had haunted her for months--it came rushing back in one white-hot, furious knot within her chest. "How long did you tail Michelle Jung's car with her license plate number? Hm? How long did the idea of murder sit and spread like a disease in her brain? Was it ever since you checked your mother into that retirement home?"
"Get the knife off her."
Luke inhaled sharply. "Eris--"
A chorus of clicks filled the air. Loaded guns, each pointed at her.
Eris pushed down a wave of panic, let logic calm her mind. "You won't shoot me," she said boldly. "You won't shoot me, because I'm in your private office. The moment you do, you give the police a reason to search you. I win either way."
Judas's brows pulled low. He looked at his bodyguards, each one poised to shoot. Even their faces were uncertain.
His eyes narrowed. "What do you really want?"
"Tell me why you did it," she said. "Tell me why you needed to throw off the police by manipulating my brother. Why you needed to become chairman of LBS so badly you killed Michelle Jung, your direct superior. Your mentor."
Judas's gaze cleared. It was as if water had slid across it, icing it over, smoothing out into something vacant to conceal whatever lay beneath. But beneath it all she thought she saw the desperation of someone lost, afraid, angry. The kind of boy who looked upon his mother's face helplessly, tears in his eyes, squeezing her hands, pleading for the love his father had leeched from his life. The kind of boy whose pain raged within him with the ferocity of a storm.
"Power is useless if no one remembers what it did." He wiped the blood from his mouth, then ran the scarlet between his fingers. "My mother remembers nothing. I wanted...I needed"--he swallowed--"to remind her who I was."
So his mother had lost her memory.
"I am Judas Nam." His voice shook as he laughed, breathless. "Judas Nam, I--no one can touch me. Nothing can touch me. Yet disease stole my mother from me. My mother. My mother, who loved me. My mother, who took care of me, who fed me, who stood in front of me, who--who took all the blows my father meant for me--tell me. How..." His face twisted with pain. "How is that fair? Hm?"
"And what about Hope?" Her fingers curled into fists. "What about Hope, who lost his wife? Or Joey's wife? Or Wyatt Han's sons? What happens to them?"
"Hope--"
The glass wall slid open. Judas's eyes snapped up. A guard rushed in with a hand to his ear, face coated in sweat. "Sir, reporters are flooding the gates outside. They're all over the streets. We need backup--"
"Backup," he repeated.
"They...They know about...about you and Celestia Min. Sir."
Judas's face darkened. "We've been monitoring every news outlet. That should have never happened. Not even from Edmond S--"
"It was leaked by an anonymous source just a few minutes ago."
"Wh--" Judas stopped. Then he turned to Eris, brows lowering over his eyes. "You."
"Sir--?"
"All of you can leave," he sneered, eyes still on her. "I'll handle these two alone."
Immediately, every guard swarmed out of the room, a chorus of footsteps and shouts erupting as they left the mansion. Silence shattered as the world burst to life in a chaos of panicked orders.
It's working.
What we need out of Judas is a confession, came Petra's voice again. Eris's fingers brushed the pin once more. The pin, which had recorded the entire conversation, right from her blazer sleeve. Petra had leaned back with a grin. "No matter what evidence you find--knives, pills, deposits from Sam Nudaj's account--it's useful, yes, but it'll do nothing if Judas can blackmail authorities into putting the blame on someone else. If we have footage of him abusing his power and admitting to his crimes, however...."
Now, Eris lifted her chin at Judas with triumph. "Your precious letters are still in your cabinet. Next time, remember to lock it. And next time..." She lifted her sleeve with a wry smile. "Watch out what you say in front of a recorder."
Judas's eyes darkened.
Instantly, he reached for the security button on his desk; before he could, Luke launched forward and threw him to the ground. But Nam was stronger than he looked--he twisted out of Luke's grip and dealt a staggering blow to the latter's jaw. Glass shelves clanged against the walls.
Judas sprang forward with a snarl. With a grunt, Luke kicked Judas's swivel into his path. Eris rushed forward. "Luke, let's go--"
He slammed his hand on the button. An alarm screeched. Shouts erupted outside. Heart in her throat, Eris helped Luke to his feet, and together they bolted out of the office just as glass walls slid shut behind them. Hair flying, Eris turned, knife still in her hand.
But Judas wasn't chasing them. Instead, he watched them run. His ebony hair spilled out of his neat bun and across his ice-cold eyes.
She expected him to be furious. But his lip curled.
"Run," she heard him sneer. "Run and tell them all. I'll still find you."
✧
THE SUN BROKE over the horizon when they were in the clear.
Rose gold light spilled over streets laid with snowfall. They skidded to a stop at the corner several blocks away, shoulders heaving, the clamor of reporters and shouts of guards fading into a distant echo. In its place was the mingle of their heavy breathing.
Luke's head fell back with relief. Throat dry, Eris blinked snow from her lashes, heart still drumming at rapid-fire speed.
"We did it," he breathed, dragging a hand through his hair. "You did it."
She tried to share his joy. But a shiver ran down her spine at the memory of Judas's watching figure, those knife-sharp eyes and that tug of his lips, dark falling loose--
I'll still find you.
Luke paused, noticing. A hand touched her chin. "Hey." His eyes grew serious. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said quickly. A teasing smile curled her lips as she met his gaze. "You put on a pretty good show in there."
He turned away with a breathless laugh. "I didn't. Having you there was terrifying enough."
She opened her mouth to speak--
Only to be cut off swiftly by the ring of his phone. Petra, read the screen when Luke checked, and he turned away reluctantly to answer it.
"What's up? Yeah. We're out. We're on our...what?"
He glanced at her briefly. Anxiety stirred in her chest. She turned away, eager to distract herself as she reached out into the cold air and watched snowflakes fall onto her palm.
"Right. I'll let her know."
Dread coated her insides as she turned back. "What's wrong?"
"Petra says Adriel rushed off to the Cherub Proper, looking anxious." An apology flickered in his eyes. "Most likely about footage. Whether he wanted to ask you the questions or ask your dad, I don't know."
Eris sucked in a breath. "I should go."
Luke nodded. "I'll head to the station and hand over everything."
She handed him the knife in her hands, shivering at the way it glinted in the morning sun, then unclipped the pin from her sleeve. Luke tucked both into his jacket. She made to leave, but his hand found hers first.
He tugged her back to him, fear in his eyes. It was a simple embrace, his hand smoothing over her snow-flecked hair, a nervous sigh leaving his body as his chin grazed the top of her head. They'd made it out alive with enough to put Judas behind bars, but why did things feel off?
Run and tell them all, echoed Judas's voice. I'll still find you.
Luke pulled away. She closed her eyes, felt his lips press a soft kiss to the space between her brows, thumb smoothing a pattern over her cheek. "We got him," he said quietly, leaning back to catch her gaze. "We got him, okay?"
She nodded and smiled.
But even as she slipped out of his grasp and followed the snowy streets towards home, the nervousness remained.
✧
trying to hide from judas like nam joo hyuk from water...
hello!! how are you today?
i hope you're doing well and that you enjoyed this chapter <3 i wasn't able to edit as thoroughly due to some craziness in life right now but i hope it still kept you on the edge of your seat hehe.
i am almost finished writing scandal! once i finish these last few chapters, updates will be consistently once/twice a week :)
please vote and/or leave some comments! i'd love to talk to you. and thank you as always for reading and supporting this book, i love you.
soon,
❥ krissy