It's Like Monopoly, But Physical.....
Chapter Ten.
Van wants us to cool it on the jokes. How am I supposed to do that? We joke all the time. Without jokes, I'm a completely different person. Joking with him has MADE this hate-ship, I can't just stop cold turkey. That's like having chocolate milk once and being expected to NEVER drink it again; IMPOSSIBLE. I just wish that he never would've showed up at my house last night with those tickets and that adorably sexy look on his face... If we were still in that stupid fight, it'd be a lot easier to pretend he doesn't exist.
But, it's always like that, if we get in a fight we ALWAYS make up and admit how stupid we both were. Last night wasn't the only night like that. We always have those kinds of nights; talking with the TV playing in the background, in the dark, the only light coming from the television. Or sometimes having the radio play, or whatever. The point is that; I don't think we've ever stopped talking for more than four days, well, not including Freshman year when we only talked when we were forced by our parents.
I guess since Vans' dad is cheating on his mom, they won't be coming to family dinners. Well, one at a time maybe, but not together, I have a feeling that would put my parents in an awkward position., not only that, but Van and I too.
After Van and I finish our homework within the next couple of hours, which I watched him do, so I don't know how in the hell he's failing his classes. I think that Mr. Brenan was smoking crack or something. I mean, I didn't actually see his work, but I know for a fact that he did it. I'd hate for him to not graduate, that means that he'd have to repeat the twelfth grade and that would suck.
"So, tell me—"
Van gets cut off when my cell phone starts vibrating on my dresser. I don't rush up and get it, mainly because whoever it is, can probably wait.
"Aren't you going to get that?" he asks me.
I shake my head and look down at my already finished homework, pretending it's not. "I'm sure it's nobody important."
"Then you won't mind if I get it," Van says standing up from the floor and walking over to my dresser. He picks it up and says, "Hello, you've reached the homosexuality clinic, being gay is okay! How may we help you today?"
OH MY GOD! I totally forgot that Evan said he would call me tonight. Great, this one won't be easily explained. Gosh, why does Van have to be such a pain in the ass. I mean, he could've said anything, but know, he had to say something about being gay.
"Evan? I don't know an Ev— Oh wait, you must be the college guy," Van says, grinning at me as I get off my bed to grab my cell phone from him. "You want to talk to Abby, huh? About what?" Van asks him and I try to grab my phone, but he moves his hand. "Here Abby, he wants to talk to you," Van tells me while handing me my cell phone.
Well, that was easy enough. "Hello?" I say when I put my phone up to my ear.
"Hey, Abby?" Evan says. "Who was that?"
"Yeah, sorry Evan. That was my neighbor, he's gay and likes to answer the phone like that to help any 'confused' people," I explain, holding back laughter and Van is sitting on my bed with his mouth hanging open.
"Oh, no problem, but I'm not gay," Evan says.
"Good, me either," I laugh. "I guess that's one thing we have in common."
Evan chuckles. "I bet we have a lot in common, so how about we go out tomorrow night and find out?"
He's asking me out! "Like on a date?" I check.
Evan chuckles again and says, "if you need to label it, then yes, a date. So what do you say?"
Should I? I barely know this guy. If I want to stop...the thing I'm feeling with Van, then yes, I should. Okay, I'm going to do it. "Yeah, I'd like that," I say, faking a smile, even though Evan can't see me. Maybe the smile is for Van, just so he can see that I'm NOT jealous of him and the slut bag.
"Great, text me the address and I'll pick you up around, seven?" he checks.
"Sounds good— wait, what are we—"
"You'll see," Evan says, knowing that I was going to ask what we were going to do on the date.
I smile. "Okay."
"I'll see you tomorrow night," he says.
"Great, bye, Evan."
"Bye, Abby."
Then the line goes dead. I have a date with Evan tomorrow night. Maybe this is all happening too fast. It sounded great at the moment when he asked me, but how can I go on a date with a guy, that I'm think of another guy. Another, ignorant, arrogant, and annoying guy.
"So, you have a date..." Van says, interrupting the quietness. "With the college guy..."
"Those, my friend, are some excellent sentences, did you put them together by yourself?" I ask annoyed. This whole situation is all his fault. I blame him and his drunkenness. Why do guys have to be such assholes?
Van ignores my comment. "Are you sure this is a good idea, I mean, he's older, he's in college, so, what does he want with a girl who's in high school?"
My eyes widen. Van just became an even bigger asshole. "What exactly are you implying, Van?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest.
"I'm just saying, maybe he thinks that since you're younger that you're...naïve. I mean, that's why Michael went after and that's probably why a lot of guys will go after you. You—"
"Maybe this guy actually likes me," I say. "Did you ever think of that?"
"Come on, Abby, he's twenty-one and there's only one thing a guy like him wants from a girl like you and—"
"A girl like me?" I choke out. What's that supposed to mean? "I'll have you know that when I was cry—" I cut myself off mid-sentence with I realize what I was about to tell him.
"When you were what?"
I can't tell him I was crying over him, then that gives him too much power. If knows that he can hurt me, then what do I have. "Nothing, Evan was just talking to me, when you wouldn't."
"You were crying over me?" Van says quietly.
Shit, he caught on. Great, this is just fucking peachy. "Well what do you expect? You don't kiss somebody and not talk to them for three days! I mean sure, chocolate milk can fix a lot of things, but making out with your best friend is NOT one of them," I point out. Are we seriously having another fight? We just had a fight last night.
Van steps closer to me. Too close, in a way that's trying to make me feel better. "I didn't know that you cried—"
"Van don't waste your time, I don't care anymore, I'm over it," I say, hoping he'll buy it, I'm like the worlds worst liar.
Van cups my cheeks with the palms of his warm hands, making me look him straight in the eyes. "Do you have feelings for me, Abby?" he asks, sincerely.
"No," I answer and it's a lie, but I use every part of me to make it sound true. "Not in that way."
"I'm sorry," he blurts out.
I crunch my head up in confusion. "For...?"
"Making you cry," he says, like it's so obvious that that's what was talking about. "And I, um, never apologized for, um, that night, so I'm...sorry." Van stumbles almost every word he says.
No, damn it, Van! Stop being so completely nice. I hate it when he plays the nice guy roll. He should just be a jerk all of the time, then that would make it harder to like him. It started when he trusted me enough to tell me about his parents, when he opened up and allowed himself to be vulnerable to feeling something. I don't do that, I hate feeling vulnerable because when I am, people can really hurt you, emotionally.
I gently move his hands from touching any part of me. "Um, I'm hungry, are you hungry? It's almost dinner time, so I'm kind of hungry," I say, babbling, just to get out of the silence between us. It's not awkward, but this is how two people talk right before they start kissing. I turn away and walk towards my door. Part of me wants him to grab me by my wrist, press me up against the door, and crash his lips into mine, you know like they do in the movies. But, this isn't a movie, as much as I wish it was, it's not.
You know how Hannah Hoe-tanna sings that song 'if we were a movie', well, if Van and I were a movie, I'd stop the disc, take it out, and break it, just to prevent anything bad from happening. I'd stop it before anything could happen, I wish I could do that right now, just press stop and then fast forward through everything else.
"Actually, I should probably leave, you know to go make sure that everything with Kendall is cool...?" he says, but it comes out more like a question; like he's asking me if it's okay.
How can he be completely sweet like that and then be a jerk in the blink of an eye. He was just touching my face, saying how sorry he was, asking me if I have feelings for him and now he's thinking about Kendall? Yeah, buddy, you've had a girlfriend all afternoon and it still didn't stop you from joking around and flirting shamelessly. Sometimes, Van always knows just what to say to piss me of.
"Yeah, okay, whatever," I say, in a rude tone. But, whatever, he has other priorities. Whatever, I just need to get over it. I'm going on a date with Evan tomorrow, so I just need to get over Van!
When Van leaves, I walk towards the stairs, passing my dad's office and see that he's in there. Oh my god, my dad's actually here! What is up with that? I wonder if my mom's here too. She was here this morning, which is also surprising in a way. I haven't really seen my dad since Sunday when I ate breakfast with the family.
I stop in front of his office and lean against the door frame. "Working hard or hardly working?" I joke. Maybe talking to my dad will get my mind off of that jerk-face Van.
My dad looks up from his paper work, "hey, pumpkin. Is something bothering you lately?" he asks.
I shrug as I walk in and sit down on one of the small sofas. "Nothing really, it's just you and mom aren't around here that much, I'm surprised you eve noticed, to be honest," I reply.
"I'm sorry, it's just I've been busy working on this case," he says.
I nod, "I understand it's just, mom's normally home all of the time, you know since she one does temping jobs and that's not permanent," I remind him. "So why is she gone too? It's been Darren in me for a while and he doesn't come out of his room, so..."
My dad makes a big sigh as he stands up from his desk, walk over to the sofa I'm sitting on and sits next to me. "Listen, Abby, I know it's been hard on you, not having either parent around, but your mom enjoys working and I can't stop her. Ever since she got that temp job in Riverport, she stays at a hotel down there, just because it's closer," he explains.
"Wait, how come I didn't know mom had a job in Riverport? Why Riverport, it's like an hour away?"
"Well, neither of us has been around to tell you, I guess that's our fault," he says. "She wanted to start working again and Riverport was the only place that had an opening."
You think? I've just been coming home everyday to an empty house! I could've been murdered and nobody would know for at least a month. "Oh, so how long is the job?"
He shrugs. "A couple months, maybe permanent."
I nod, trying to sound interested in my moms new job, but I still can't stop thinking about that immature loser! I wish that I could erase things from my mind. Or maybe be like that girl from 50 First Dates and lose my memory every day, then it'd be like he was never even in my life and I would be able to forget about that kiss. That great...amazing ki—
"Pumpkin, is something else bothering you?" my dad asks me, interrupting my thoughts. Wow, I can't believe that I was just thinking about kissing Van when my dad is in the room.
I shake my head, even though there is a HUGE thing bothering me. A huge BOY thing. You know, sometimes I wish I could be a guy. I don't think they realize how easy they really have it. Like what the hell is up with a girl getting her 'monthly'? THAT is perfect evidence that God is in FACT a man. Guys get boners and girls get a days of torture every month, it's completely retarded. I would totally take uncontrollable boners over the 'monthly' ANY day of the week.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a girl, it's just sometimes it sucks, because girls get more emotionally attached to things...or people. I never thought I was one of those girls, but I guess I am and I'll tell you, it SUCKS.
"Are you sure? We can talk—"
"Dad, why are guys suck jerks? Are they always completely freak-tarded? Do they ever stop being so moronic, or mature a little? I'm not asking for a lot, it's just they act like nothing in the world bothers them and that they don't care about anything..." I say, starting to babble. I need to vent to somebody BESIDES that jerk because every time I'm around him, he makes me want to be all...girly for him. If I ever wanted a chance with Van -which I don't- I'd have to girl it up
My dad starts laughing. "Boys don't mature as fast as girls do," he says.
"Yeah, well I've seen five year olds that are more mature than this guy."
"Vance is just—"
"We aren't talking about Van," I say quickly. How did he possibly know that I was meaning Van. I didn't mention Van's name, did I? No, I don't think I did.
"It's alright sweetheart, I've known you guys have like each other since you were both about two," he chuckles.
I can't have my dad thinking I like Van, I'm dad can't keep anything a secret, then he'd tell my mom and—-wait, why am I so worried? I don't actually like Van, right? "No, dad, it's not Van, he has a girlfriend, who is a complete moron by the way, I mean she's not all THERE, if you know what I mean," I say, motioning towards my head.
"Ahh, so he likes this other girl and you like him, I get it, the love triangle. He'll come around sometime," my dad says.
"No, dad, it's not him," I say, trying to not only convince him, but myself. I can't like Van, right? RIGHT! I'm just confusing myself, one minute, I'm admitting to myself that I have feelings for him and the next I totally hate him. It's a love-hate thing, I suppose.
"Okay, I'll play along," he says.
UGH! How can my dad notice, but Van can't seem to wrap his tiny brain around it! "You know, I think I'm gonna go make something to eat," I tell my dad, just to avoid this question and I get off the couch.
"Abby, it's okay if you like Vance," my dad assures me as I walk out of his office.
No, it's really not! Liking him leads to falling in love with him then that leads to him having all of the power to hurt me. I don't cry a lot, but I already know that Van is probably the one guy that could make me cry, he's already done it once. Like they say, don't cry for boys, let them cry for you because girls give and forgive, while boys get and forget.
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<3JustKaylay.