I have cried so many nights until the dawn
it's impossible to find happiness with smiles
the only way which makes me feel human is the difficult one
the one with the tears, the pain and the sadness.
Don't misunderstand me, I don't intent to die
I've died a long ago inside me to give life to my rotten body
It's just feels so wrong when something good happens to me.
"When you're enjoying yourself, doesn't that mean somebody else is suffering?" it is said.
It is better for you to suffer than having someone next to you suffering instead.
That's what I believe, what I think and what I have in my heart.
Suffering feels cathartic, while living feels sinful,
but most humans seems to choose the sinful way of life.
Which path should I choose for me in order not to just survive but to feel?
Which way will enlighten my soul?
Which voice will help my heart fill with hope until it stops beating?
Is there a way to meet again with my virginal soul,
the one with no stains of my sins,
and accept me back home?