Glorification.
Deception.
Manipulation.
Look up the meaning for all three of those words and you'd find the drug game.. niggas wanted a life that murdered their souls. Niggas prayed to be heartless to it make in the game only to get their heart busted down with an AK-47.
They only got into to feed their need for greed, fast money and the fastest life known to man. Those were also the ones who died fast, hard and bloody.
Turn on the television, pick up a book, listen to the radio.. it was a nigga without a ounce of clout capping, telling stories about a game they never would have survived.
They called their selves, savages while the real killers picked up life sentences and pulled wigs back.
Game wasn't fun no more, it had gone commercial.
He knew he should have been looking for a way out. He should been long left the game, wiped his hands and bowed out gracefully but greed was like a ugly chick with locked jaws and good pussy, somehow some way she always stayed around.
Greed consumed him in every way. He wished he truly hated it but hating something that was such a big part of who you were was like pulling the trigger on yourself.
Benjamin franklins, Grants and the lesser Jackson's kept his focus.. he'd wished a nigga would throw a Washington somewhere in sight and he wouldn't be making it home tonight. Dice was his vice of choice, rolling bones was his weed, his alcohol and in some cases it was better than pussy,
Taking niggas money was a habit and pleasure all in one. Slim was the center of attention of the block, it was pass midnight, Gaia was off tonight so she was laid up in her house by her lonesome. He left her be, no need to watch her when he knew she was staying put.
He has a couple of niggas he trusted watching her street although so no crazy shit happened. After all she was the plugs daughter and if niggas found out, baby girl would be a ditch leaking quick. Big Gee was generous King, he let all niggas eat but he was still a King. He'd cut a nigga hand off clean and tell him to stop bleeding so he did have some enemies but they were too pussy to make a move on him or the mafia.
The block should have been silent, folks should have been inside their houses with the doors locked instead they were in the courtyard of the projects that made him blasting music so loud the sound waves blasted off of the bricks.
Shit was jumping like it was the club but in your backyard. If these bricks could talk, they'd tell the story of a man who went by Slim. These were the bricks that afforded him the clothes on his back by any means necessary.
Hungry didn't do him justice back then. He was starving, malnourished did any thing for the dollar.
Them shitty bricks were his self claimed home but really he was raised up and over a couple of blocks. Slim was born Jrue Isiah Morris to a two parent household. His parents had given up all hope for a kid but at the mid way mark of their forties, he came busting out with a vengeance. He never went a day without a meal, he never had to steal to have the freshest gear, he ain't have a clue what struggle was until he was fifteen.
His father Clarence was plumber, blue collar hard working man that never let his family see him sweat. Although his dream was to have his own company, he just couldn't find the time to get it together still he was content. He was a kind husband, Slim had never heard him raise his voice at his mother.
He'd never seen them argue. His mother didn't work, she took care of him and the house. His father was the breadwinner and never complained about it or belittled his mother. When he came home, he always a a hot meal and a clean house.
They weren't rich at all but they lived good. In addition to working his 9 to 5, his father was also the neighborhood handyman. He'd help everyone out for a lower price than what someone else licensed with make them pay. Mostly he'd just have folks pay for the parts and slide him whatever they could out the kindness of his heart.
Slim could remember his father telling him that: what a man did wasn't what defined his character but how he treated others. Back then he took that to heart but the night of his fifteenth birthday, everything changed.
As family they went out for dinner to celebrate his birthday earlier in the afternoon, when they reach home Clarence got a call from a single mom with three kids, she didn't have running water in his house for 3 days because of a bad leak that her landlord hadn't sent anyone to fix yet.
She was desperate and pleading and like the good man he was, Clarence decided to help her out. He asked Slim to come with because he was teaching him the proper way things could be done: Slim wasn't interested in being a plumber or a handyman but what he didn't understand was that his father wasn't pushing his job on him but was teaching him a trade he could always use to provide for his self.
Slim refused to go and decided to head out with his friends instead. It was his birthday so no one made a fuss about it.
Everything was good, Slim was busying smoking out a car with his dumb ass friends, riding around the city like what they were doing what perfectly legal. His father was doing his job, being a good Samaritan to woman who had few options.
When the clock striked eleven, Clarence was making his way back home and Slim was losing his virginity to a girl that he couldn't remember the name of. His father stopped at a red light and was approached by a young reckless nigga looking for his next hit.
His addiction had him sick from withdrawal, he needed his next hit more than he needed air to breathe. He saw Clarence alone in the car and acted upon what he felt was an easy target.
Immediately he pushed his grocery cart that served as his home slam into the back of Clarence's car. Clarence jumped out of the car almost instantly but not before grabbing his pistol from the glove box.
The junkie pretended to be apologetic, the damage to the car wasn't bad enough to trip over because crackheads didn't have no insurance on their carts. Clarence was frustrated but he wasn't worried; he knew he could repair it.
After settling it, Clarence made the wrong decision and turned his back to the junkie who didn't think twice about sliding a rusty knife across his carotid artery. The junkie in turn emptied his pockets, snatched the wedding band and watch off of his body, and drove off with the car.
His father laid slain in cold blood, bleeding out for hours before someone found him. His body was already cold, the full supply of his blood pooling around his body like no one loved him. He died alone and slowly, meaning that if someone had found him sooner.. if someone had helped him like he helped others he could have survived.
Because of his belonging being stolen, it took a while his mother was contacted. She was a mess, his always well put together mother was a hysterical crying mad woman. His heart broke that day, his father had died but his mother's spirit broke.
His guilt ate him alive everyday, his mother despite her grief had to find work. His father did have insurance policies that took care of the funeral and a little more but his mother didn't rely on that cushion. She had a son to take care of. Since she had little work experience the only job she could find that a custodial work working the graveyard shift.
While Slim sat home alone inside of the house his father's blood, sweat and tears paid for, his guilt drove him crazy. The police hadn't made any arrests in the murder of his father despite the hood knowing who did it.
One night his mother went to work and he headed to the projects to find Leroy, the neighborhood snitch and junkie with his father's smith and wesson on his waist and a knife in his pocket.
He sat out for revenge and he got it.. a junkie was the easiest target known to man. Slim waited for the man to get his high and the moment he relaxed in euphoria, the fifteen year old with a gun commited his first murder.
The .38 smoking gun blew a hole the size of texas into the junkie's head. Brain matter and blood splashed back onto Slim but he didn't move an inch. He didn't run, he stayed still with a blank face at what he had done.
The gunshot rang out loudly so he should have ran but he didn't. The weight on his shoulder had been lifted, he felt relief.
What the boy didn't know was that dealer that had sold Leroy the smack he shot up right before he died was near and saw the whole encounter.
The dealer stepped out of the shadows. Slim saw his face but still he didn't make move. The man went by the name Onyx, Slim had knew of him but because he didn't live in the Jets as the city called them he never had meet him.
Onyx eyed him carefully as he approached him with his hands up but schooled him that he should be gone. He told me he was gonna clean up his mess and that he should ran home as fast as possible, burn his clothes even down to his underwear and shoes. He took the gun him and that was all she wrote.
What Slim didn't know was that his help came with consequences.. eventually once the heat died down from the murder Onyx popped up on Slim and told him it was time to pay up. He could work off his debt by slanging or murder but either way he was going to be paid even if Slim his self had to be bodied.
Out of fear of his mother losing her son so close to the passing of his father, Slim went without much of a fight. He couldn't be out on corners hustling because it would break his mother's heart all over again so he chose the murder route. Onyx taught him every he knew, how to clean up a body, how to distance yourself so none of the victims blood got on you, and most importantly how not to get caught.
That was the start of it all, it was the beginning of who Slim grew up in the game. He was killer, a shooter, a hitta and one of the best to ever do it. Onyx had him taking out competition, enemies and any nigga who did him dirty. He always claimed the bodies his self, never allowing room for anyone else to think he had someone else to handle his dirty work.
And the way Slim thought about was that Onyx taking claim meant the cops would never come looking for him.. being a shooter paid well. He'd stacked up enough bread silently without his mother knowing a thing before he paid the mortgage off, little by little behind his mother.
She paid the bills but he would always go behind her and pay a extra so by the time he had turned sixteen, the house was all her's. She questioned him relentlessly when she found out about how he earned the money but he never folded.
He respected her too much to tell her, he took lives for a living. She never let it go but Slim never said a word. He just knew he was going to take care of his mother like his father had until his own dying breath.
But like the praying woman she was, his mother knew his spirit had been tainted. She knew his soul was slipping from under him and instead of condemning him like most mothers did. His mother brought him closer, she had always prayed for him but she prayed each and every time he stepped out of the door. She prayed for his forgiveness, for deliverance of his soul, she prayed for his spirit to be cleaned by the blood of Jesus.
She knew her son and the day he handed her the deed to the house, she woke up out of the fog her husband's death placed her in. She'd been lost in grief that she missed so many signs. She knew he would never say a word about his doings to her but she believed that what she didn't know the Lord did so she prayed on his behalf.
That was a mother's love in the greatest form.. any female can bring a child into the world but a mother loved unconditionally. He was grateful for her even if he thought he was far from saving.
His thoughts of his past clouded his thoughts so much that he lost attention in the dice game. Still he crushed the niggas around him, taking their money effortlessly. Luck was on his side, has been that way since a kid.
He racked up his earnings and excused his self from the crowd. His right hand, Looney sat to the left of him in the face of some chick who was probably getting her back blown out tonight only to not get a call back tomorrow.
Looney was just that, a looney ass nigga that was smart as hell but when it came down to common sense? That man has none. The street sense? He has that and enough to go around but simple shit like being up front with a female about his intentions? He never grasped that.
All the females in the city knew this, they knew how he got down but they never stopped them from shooting their shot only to left looking stupid the day while Loon spit game to the next broad.
Slim whistled and gestured towards him gaining his attention away from brown skinned shorty that sat to the right of him. Looney stood to his feet and making this way to where Slim stood.
"You heading out?" Looney asked him as they slapped hands, doing the signature murder mafia salute. "What you stole all these niggas money and it ain't fun no more?" He joked.
"Shit too easy.. I know kids who play better these bustas." He waved off and scanned his surroundings. The courtyard was full of goons, soliders, runners and plenty niggas who just wanted to be affiliated. For an outside party, this was as secure as things could get. "See you tricking again nigga, this one know you gone fuck her and leave her in the middle of the night"
"Brooo" Looney and laughed sliding his eyes over the chick then shook his head."If she don't she gone find out. I'm like Westbrook thru the lane ain't no stopping me" Looney imitated the moves to a fast break and lay up.
Slim laughed at his silly ass friend. Although they both were more of the laid back, sit back and observe type of men: Looney was more animated. He could put on a show when he wanted to whereas Slim never felt the need to.
Women flocked to him regardless of his demeanor, his lack of interest or conversation. They knew a boss when they saw one and that's all it took for them to be willing to drop their clothes for him.
"Hey Slim" a voice interrupted the conversation between Looney and Slim.
The courtyard got quiet suddenly. Everyone new that shit wasn't a bad move. When you saw the mafia conversating you got the fuck on and out of earshot, female or not. You could lose your life simply for speaking at the wrong time.
Slim grimaced, a mug covering his features. Looney instantly went for the strap on his waist. They both turned around to see Sasha, the other princess of Emerald City... the one everyone knew about. The one who never let anyone forgot who her father was and had coming at her wrong was a bad move.
The one who wasn't her..
She was a pretty female, most niggas who beg for a shot with but Slim only saw a shorty who felt like she was better than the next person. She walked around with her nose turned up high as if others were gum on the bottom of her shoes. He barely had respect for her, that inch that was hanging on with because of his respect for Big Gee.
"Bird ass bitch" Looney said audibly, smacking his teeth and took his hand off on his gun.
"Come again Bugs Bunny" Sasha placed her hands on her hips, an attitude was dripping from everywhere. Her face was screwed, her neck had that arch as if it was ready to swing. "I ain't one of your hoes, respect me as such."
"Shit" He said smoothly, eyeing her outfit of choice. The middle of the hood and shorty had on six inch heels, orange and black camo pants with slits so high and wide her whole thigh was out, she paired it with a white mesh bodysuit that barely covered her nipples. Her attire screamed attention. "I can't tell, you over here on my dick." He grabbed at his groin for emphasis.
"Fuck you nigga" she spat back with an eye roll and hair flip.
"Nah, fam that'll make yo ass too happy."
Slim was over the damn exchange and begin to remove his self from it. As he turned his back and walked away, she grabbed his arm.
He turned around ready to go to war regardless of who she was. No female had the right to approach him as if he was her man, he was single. He ain't owe nobody a damn thing especially not her.
His harden gaze shot heat from it at her. She dropped her hand to her side immediately as the scared little girl she was.
"Sorry" she apologized to him quickly, tucking hair behind her ear. The straight bundles of hair flowed to her waist as she stood still. "I spoke to you."
"And ?" Slim expressed to her. Nothing had changed, he was the same nigga he always had been. He didn't fuck with her even if she threw herself every chance she got. He stayed away from her as much as possible but she was like the type of pain in the ass that always popped back up. He could be on any side of the city and some way, some how Sasha could appear. At one point he thought she had a damn gps on him.
Lately with his time being spent watching over Gaia, he'd been able to dodge her.
Slim ran his hands down his face frustrated as ever as she blinked her lashes up at him as if that was supposed to move him. The woman acted like a child and it was the biggest turn off. Her body was the definition of slim thick with curves in all the right places . Her big child like doll eyes, her button nose, and pink lips with skin the color of a caramel frappe drawn men crazy but nothing about her attracted Slim.
When Sasha saw her usual tricks weren't working she folded her arms cross her chest, intentionally pushing her already exposed breast up. "Why must you play this game Slim? Everyone knows it's only a matter of time before we happen. I'm the prize of the city and eventually you'll be king.. its only right."
He shook his head, not believing the shit that came out of her mouth. She was so delusional if he had some sense of sympathy he would have felt bad. Besides the fact that he wasn't attracted to her, Sasha fucked with any nigga who looked her way and had some cash. More than a few niggas had ran through shorty, he would never be added onto her body count.
"You don't know shit Sasha." He spat as her words left a bad taste in his mouth. He stepped back a couple of paces, distancing his self from her. "Gee know you in the middle of the jets at midnight?" He asked yet knew the answer already.
Sasha was out in the city busting it open but Gee always had security on her. He saw no one so she had ever snuck out of the house or skipped out on security, either way she was violating.She was always doing dumb shit like this, she was protected but that meant shit. Life meant shit to a lot of folks especially on this side of town, she could get clipped easily even if it was a stray bullet.
"I told him I was coming to meet you." Lies slipped off her lips too easily. She couldn't possibly think that was alluring in anyway. He wanted shit to do what her. He didn't trust her to begin with but he damn sure would never trust her knowing she could lie to her own father's face without a conscience.
Slim didn't even look her way.. it wasn't worth it. He signaled for one of the soldiers leaning against the wall. The young dude that went by Trench quickly walked over.
"Make sure shes gets home safe." He rattled off coolly, slapping hands with Trench as well as doing the mafia salute.
"Slim"
"Slim"
"Slim"
Sasha cries for attention fell on deaf ears as he cascaded out of the courtyard. Desperation wasn't cute on any female but it damn sure wasn't cute on her. Big Gee would have to understand and quite honesty he was getting tired of having to deal with his family's messes.
One daughter wanted him.. the other felt him.
The two as different as day and night, the only thing they shared was the same last name.
The whole hood knew Sasha wanted him, they could see her and feel the desperation and need in her cries.. but they didn't know that Slim had his eyes set on her sister.
He wanted a Carter just not Sasha...
His feet took him up the block instead of to his car. A walk did his mind good when things were a little fuzzy. He had so many things swirling around his mental, his guilt, his emptiness, his responsibilities to his self and to the streets.
For a long time, the game was his safe place. Everything was in order but now all that weight of the world that he thought had escaped him was back tenfold. The only time it escaped him was when Gaia was near. Not just he was somewhere close but still ducked off where she coudln't see him. Nah he had to be in her line of vision then things changed for him.
He racked his brain over and over because the way he felt around her, the calmness she placed over him.. it wasn't natural. He didn't know her... she didn't know him, she had just learned his name.
But those feelings, that clarity, that stillness, the chill that went up his spine... it all felt right even if it was wrong.
He needed some distance, he knew it before he caught her at the hospital. He prayed his self that he'd never run into her again and then she fell right into life. He would have never guessed he'd be in this position but he was and the consequences of it was messing with him heavy.
His long legs had carried him from the projects and over to the very door of the house that raised him. The house his mother still rested her head in because she had too many memories of her husband to ever leave it.
He tried to put her up nice. He took her into out of the city, almost a hour away into a suburb with a gated community and security 24/7. She loved the houses, encouraged him to buy one of them but for his self and not her.
She said "I pray you find love as longstanding as your father and I. Even in death, he's still there for me. The love we built inside of that house came straight from the Lord, his self because nothing this powerful could come from any other source. The only way I'm leaving it is on my deathbed, new and shiny things don't excite me baby. The love in my heart does."
And that was the end of that discussion.
As he looked onto the house, he could see all of the lights were on as if it was broad daylight. He ascended the steps quickly and once he reached the door, all he had to do was turn the knob and he was inside.
He grabbed the nine off his waist rapidly, cursing to his self because his mother would never leave the door open. The smooth sounds of Anita Baker played throughout the house bringing him back to his days as child when that was all his mother played. As he made slow deliberate steps towards the kitchen, he kept his head on a swivel for anything out of place. He heard movement coming from behind the kitchen door so he ducked off in a corner and waited for the door to open.
His hand with the gun gripped tightly was the first to react instantly as the kitchen door opened. What Slim didn't expect to hear was the sounds of his mothers screams behind it.
"Jrue Isiah Morris!!! Your father is turning over in his grave!!" Slim's hand damn near went numb as the color drained from his face, looking into his mother's furious eyes. He hurriedly tucked his piece away and threw his hands up in defense.
But his mother was too quick for him before he could utter than apology.. her fingers came to his right ear and pulled it as if he was still an ten year old boy.
Nothing hurt worse than a mother's pull of an ear, he'd been shot before and it didn't even hurt as much.
"Okay momma.. Im sorry"
"I thought someone had bought in"
"Ma, you hurting me,"
"Good maybe you'll remember the manners I taught you.. hmm" she mumbled letting his inflamed red go. Before she left him alone good, she swatted him in the back of the head.
Mama Morris was the nicest lady on the block but she also wasn't to be played with. A strong spirit and a wise mind raised Slim. Although older than most of the other kids he grew up with his mother never missed a beat. She front and center for every accomplishment and there to beat his ass when he deserved punishment. She believed "if you spare the rod, you spoil the child" and Slim definitely got his ass beat because of it.
She was a thick, soft woman that reminded everyone of the woman who played the grandma on Soul Food. Her dark mahogany skin shinned like the melanin gods their selves moisturized her skin every night. Not a wrinkle was in sight while salt and pepper hair that these days had salt than pepper adored her scalp but she was still beautiful.
Slim got the color of his skin from her only he was a few shades darker and her eyes. Everything else came from his pecan brown skinned father down to his lean but tall frame.
"Dam.. dang ma" Slim caught his self as his mother cut her eyes at him. She had also began to raise her left hand again. "Why you leaving the door open in the middle of the night?"
"You forgot who raised who here, Isiah." The sentence was phrased as a question but Slim knew better than to speak. He was asshole to the world but to his mother? He'd never disrespected her in his life. If he had to chose one person to be afraid of it'd be her. "That's what I thought. You disappear on one of ya lil isolation trips and forget who your mama is."
"Ma" he tried but she had already started on her tangent.
She moved around the dining room shuffling her feet against the hardwood floor, humming to herself. She threw her hands up and shook her head, turning around to face her only child once before she headed back into the kitchen. "You just forget about ya old mama cause I ain't in them streets you chasing."
His hands went to the bridge of his nose and he blew out hot air. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to relieve the pressure between his eyes. He stood quietly and allowed his mother to say her peace.
"Out there running behind a dollar like you didn't have the best clothes on your back your father and I could provide. You never went without, you never missed a meal. You damn sure never been abandoned. You had a mother and father who loved you and somehow those streets still took my baby from me."
He could hear the sadness in her voice. He wished he could attest to what she said but he couldn't. His love for the streets came from a broken part of him that his parents didn't break. Even in his father's death, he knew he turned in his grave each time his son caught a body but still he did it because... greed consumed him. He didn't have a reason as to why but the unknown cause didn't lessen the strong effect.
His father's death drove him to make his first kill but the greed from the money Onyx laced his pockets with until his own death was what kept his feet planted in the game.
He told his self he stayed away from his mother because frequent trips to her house would bring attention to her that he didn't want. But subconsciously he stayed away because he knew each time he saw his mother, he was forced to face the truth.. His mother never held her tongue about her disapproval of his dealings.
"Mmm hmm standing there looking just like ya father, pick your head up son. You know I love you, I just wish you did something else." She revealed and touched his face to make him pick his head up. He never bowed his head to anyone but he was a mama's boy through and through. She was his earth, the reason that he breathed. She gave life to him. She deserved every show of respect in the world.
When Slim looked up, he looked into her eyes and saw the same thing as always shining her her hazel eyes: hope. His mother had all the hope in the world for him even if he had none for his own soul.
He snatched his eyes away from the visual contact because he knew he didn't deserve some of her unconditional and unlimited hope. It was always too much for him, his upbringing gave him morals he just chose to ignore them for a quick dollar.
"Go on and set the table baby." She encouraged him and patted his shoulder lightly. This time when she went back into the kitchen, he followed her instead of doing as told. A kitchen full of his favorites lined the countertops, his eyes flew to hers.
Mama Morris smiled herself and touched her heart.
"The Lord told me you'd come home tonight baby.. that's why the door was open. Even if you think he's forsaken you.. he's still watching and it's not too late baby.. he's making a change in your life. You can't see it now but your soul? It's already being worked on and not even the devil can stop this healing. Clarity, my sweet boy.. it's the beginning of that emptiness you carry around to be filled with a wholeness so strong you'll think you can fight it but as your mother I'll always tell you the truth.. that wholeness? it's already won."
Super long chapter like hella long... It was time for Slim's backstory tho. He's a lot different than the other male leads I have wrote about. Most of the time the game chose the man but with Slim? He chose the game. Changes will be shaken up tho so be on the lookout for more.