These are my words
INTRODUCTION
Hi my name is riley I am 18 yrs. old and this is my story
Chapter 1 – New Start
I awoke to the sound of my alarm buzzing eugh I thought is it that time already 07.15am to be precise, I wash and dressed and went down stairs to grab a bite of breakfast before I had to rush out of the door to work. They had called a meeting for this morning and everyone was to be in the office by 9am so I jumped in my car no sooner had I started the engine then my phone buzzed with a text message from my friend Tyler who also happened to be my work colleague asking me to pick him up on my way to work as he had missed his last bus sure enough I pulled up to his apartment and he was waiting outside, we were soon on our way to the office, did I mention I actually worked for a well-known banking group, during our drive to the office I had made fun of Tyler and we have been out the previous night and all the failed attempts he made to seduce the ladies. We finally arrived at our office and made our way to the large meeting room we were actually the last to arrive we skulked in and headed straight to the back of the room, let the meeting commence we both thought the sooner this was over the sooner we could be back at our desks, but we all got the shock of our lives they had announced that they were bringing in a new manager to see how they could improve the efficiency in the office, I looked at Tyler and smirked and mouthed the words you best pull yank socks up mate they will be gunning for you, I know I shouldn’t have made fun of him but in truth he was slacker. To my horror I had been selected to show the new boss around and I would be the one working closely with him as they had seconded me to assist him with his duties, so I had been asked to stay behind once the meeting was finished as the new boss was about to arrive and they wanted to greet him with his whole team, it was myself who would have the most dealing with the new boss as I was to be his second in command, Cheryl ( the office bike as we liked to call her as she been with most men in the building ) she would take the responsibility as secretary and Andy who would manage the reports and figures. So the new boss has arrived we were only then told that his name was Shawn a highly regarded man within his field, once he had arrived at the office we set about how we were going to complete the tasks that had been assigned to us, I was to share the office with Shawn as I would be the one working most with him. So finally the day let up and Shawn have invited Cheryl, Andy and myself our after work for drinks so that he could get to know us better and so that we would bond, Cheryl and Andy left early but I stayed out quite late yes I know it is a work night but we got chatting, and he intrigued me as I had never quite met anyone like him as he so sure of himself but I put that down to being for America, so I had actually found out that he had been married for 6 years and he hated people that just would not do as they were told and if he paid you to do a job you do the job to the best of your ability which I admired but I also made a mental note to myself to never get on the wrong side of this guy. So that was my introduction to my new boss once I had headed home I simply crashed out for the night.
Chapter 2 – getting to grips
I was back in the office at 8 am having stopped at the coffee shop to pick up coffee for my new team and I made it into the Shawn was already in the meeting room so I passed him the cappuccino he had requested when he had texted me this morning to pick it up on the way in thanks he replied as he winked at me and I thought it odd that he would wink at me and just put it down to him being tired and his eye twitching and thought no more of it, as the meeting went on I was assigned my duties for that day and set about my tasks of compiling a list of poor performing staff in terms of sales figures so as I sat at my desk across from Shawn bashing away the keys on my keyboard, Shawn asked so do you have a girlfriend no I replied I haven’t really got time at the moment as my career is really important to me ( little did I know at the time that left the door wide open but I would soon enough find out ). So I gave Tyler a lift home that evening and couldt stop talking about Shawn and the plans we had for the banking group ok enough he said all I have bloody heard for the past 30 minutes is Shawn this and Shawn that anyone would think you had a crush on him, hang on a minute I said firstly he is my new boss so I am trying to impress him so excuse me and secondly I am not gay, yeah Tyler replied I am not so sure I haven’t seen you date a woman since I don’t know when hey Tyler I replied just because I am not like you trying to get as many woman in the sack as I possibly can does not make my gay.
But deep down I knew I was different I knew something was not as it was supposed to be but I pushed those feeling to back of my mind. As I dropped Tyler off he had really got under my skin by what he had said to me so I just kept playing it over and over again what he had said in my mind until I arrived home to my apartment it was a small apartment which I shared with my flat mate Andrea, but I will tell you more about her later for now I just wanted to get home and crash out.
Chapter 3 – surprise
I had had a really bad night sleep I woke up in a really bad mood this morning dragged myself to the shower and got ready for another day in the office,
By the time I had arrived at the office my mood had lifted as I had been listening to my cd singing at the top of my lung as I drove to work, as I walked in the office Shawn said morning riley nice to see you singing as you drove past me this morning boy did I blush can you imagine what it is like having your boss see you singing in your car, by the way I need to have a word with you this morning I have put a meeting in your diary for 3pm this afternoon oh jeez I thought what is it this time can he not see that I am currently snowed under with all the tasks he has asked me to complete, I was just holding out till lunch as I could escape and I had a lunch date with Cheryl yes I know you know she is the office bike but I love her all the same as she just has no shame and way to go girl I say, so lunch finally arrived and it couldn’t have come quicker and Shawn has just placed another pile of figure and reports he wanted me to go through before the 3pm meeting so at least I have my lunch break to chill out as me and Cheryl walked out the office Tyler came running over to us hey I said to Tyler still not really forgiving him for what he had said to me yesterday. Have you heard Tyler said heard what I replied apparently they are taking some people to new York to see how Shawn’s business works over their Cheryl piped up well I do hope he is taking me just think of those Americans I have yet to meet again I rolled my eyes Cheryl it isn’t a gang bang trip you know its business oh riley she said to me you really need to lighten up I was only joking any I said let’s get out of this building I am hungry.
As it 3pm loomed I prepared myself for my meeting with Shawn as I entered the meeting room Shawn asked me to take a seat and I honestly thought they were going to fire me and he had that look on his face but what came out shocked the hell out of me he wanted me and him to go to new York so I could gain some more experience of the way he did thing um I said I don’t know what to say except yes and as soon as those words escaped my lips he was smiling a smile I was not sure of but I put it down to nerves so when are we leaving I asked tomorrow he replied good job I have a passport then so he let me have the rest of the day off so I could go home and pack and get ready for the early flight tomorrow.
As we arrived into john f Kennedy airport I was just in awe as I had never been to new York and was just amazed with all the tall building we don’t have these back home I said to him and he started laughing don’t laugh at me I said it just so which hotel will be staying in I asked and he said we would be staying in his apartment overlooking time square so we arrived at his penthouse apartment, I have never stayed anywhere this nice I said to him make yourself at home and I will show you to your room he lead me down the corridor my room was the last room on the right as he opened the door I surprised him with a wow it was completely white from ceiling to floor and it had a roll top bath in the corner of the room with a separate shower cubicle I am glad you like it he replied now let’s get you out an exploring before we have to get our heads down to work, so we did all the usually touristic thing you can do in new York before he suggested going to a bar he like so he ended up taking to a bar called Therapy as I went in I noticed that there were more men around than women as he arrived at the bar he ordered me a beer and we sat down at the bar I was reading a flyer on the counter which said Mingle with a pretty and diverse gay crowd at this hot nightspot in Hell’s Kitchen. The huge two-level lounge is a former warehouse (and whorehouse). Enjoy therapeutic cocktails named after your favourite disorders – from Delusions to Psychotic Episodes. It was only then that I clicked we were in a gay I said to Shawn you do realise we are in a gay but Shawn started laughing yes riley I do now we are in a gay bar but it got a really good atmosphere I didn’t know where to look everywhere I look gay men and women were kissing but I will admit I did get a bit turned on by it so after a while on dancing and drink we returned to Shawn apartment he decided to take a shower while I settled on the couch I could hear running water from down the corridor so I went to investigate and I approached the door I could see Shawn in the shower his well-defined muscle in his back and his butt well it just looked delicious he must have noticed me looking because he asked me if I wanted to join him after hesitating I thought what the hell this will prove if I am gay or not.
I approached the shower with trepidation as I didn’t know whether I was making the right decision he is my boss and If I didn’t follow it through would I end up being fired I thought what the hell as I stripped my clothes off and joined him in the shower I was very aware of the sexual tension between us but I was embarrassed as my body looked nothing like his I was puny and he was built but I need not worry and we a lathered each other’s bodies up exploring with Each other with our hands he started to kissing me my god you do not know how long I have wanted to kiss you since the first day I met you and I opened my mouth further so he could explore more of it with his tongue as I gasped for air after our passionate embrace we decided it would be better if we didn’t have sex in the shower and we towelled each other off we made our way to his bed were we had taken up were we left off in the shower kissing exploring me gently at first then moving about my body kissing me
Everywhere, he wisp herd into my ear can I make love to you riley I was a bit wary as I knew it was going to hurt but never did I imagine It could be so tender and loving and he lubes my hole up and he gently entered me I gasped as the pain shot through me he told me to take deep breaths and relax which I did and I literally felt the earth move as he made love to me gently as first and then vigorously and I was calling him name kissing him and panting and he got into his rhythm and he finally collapsed onto me, as we lay there my mind was completely and utterly blown away.
Chapter 4 – the aftermath
I opened my eyes and looked over at Shawn and remembered everything that happened last night I didn’t want to disturb him so I just lay there looking at him thinking whatever does he see in me, I didn’t realise Shawn had actually woken up good morning beautiful he said to me, good morning I replied, and before I knew it he was up and heading out of the bedroom where are you going I asked to make you breakfast in bed he came back with toasted bagels, fresh orange juice and fresh coffee, can I ask you something I asked him yeah shoot he said how come you did that with me last night if you are married, it looked like that question had actually stung him as his face winced, we I am married he said but I am not in love with my wife he replied I have known I was for a long time but I cannot bring myself to tell her as she would be crushed and I don’t wont to do that to anyone, I leaned over and kissed him gently and had took me in his arms and hugged me I have never met anyone like you I said I feel safe with you, I am glad that you trust me enough he replied and whilst I am at it he said I have never met anyone like you make me feel like a teenager again and I don’t ever want to lose that felling. I knew what I was letting myself in for because he was married but I just could not be without him he has opened my eyes to who I truly was and wanted to stay that way with him forever there and then I decided I could do whatever it takes to make him happy.
I must have dozed off again after breakfast boy was I tired, I jumped in the shower got myself dressed and went out into the lounge, where I heard Shawn talking to his wife hi honey yeah we are here safe and sound we are going to the office so I can show riley how he need to run the operation when I am not there I love you and miss you he said, I ignored what he had said to his wife as I knew he didn’t really want to be with her , he put the phone down and saw me standing there I had to tell her that he replied or she will get suspicious I understand I said so what are the plans for today are we going to your business
He just stood there laughing at me what’s so funny I asked you are he said do you think I really brought you all this way to go to one of my businesses I thought about it for a second and it finally clicked you brought me out here to see if you could have your wicked way with me he smirked and I smiled and how did that work out for you I asked just damn fine he said and I couldn’t be happier he said, oh good I said so that still doesn’t explain what we will he doing today his reply caught me off guard I want to take you straight back to bed he said which is exactly what we did, that evening we went out to dinner and I can’t explain how I was feeling I was so excited I had that butterfly feeling in my stomach as I started to realise he could be mine and I know it sounds strange but I was starting to have feeling for Shawn.
Chapter 5 – back to the uk
I was so depressed as we were on the flight back to the uk as we were flying over the Atlantic I asked Shawn how are we going to manage to keep our hands off each other when we get back which left him quite puzzled how do you mean well when are we going to see each other well we will just have to make the most of the moments we can manage to get together, I was fuming he thinks I am going to just be there so he can pick me up and put me down when he wants as I thought about this my anger subsided I would just have to be happy when we could get together what else could I do what choice do I have.
As I arrived home Andrea was there waiting to greet me I Andrea said how was your trip amazing I told her do tell she said well at least let me get through the door first I smartly replied, as Andrea opened a bottle of wine and brought 2 glasses to the lounge I took a sip and said to Andrea I have met someone she squeezed with excitement calm down I told her I have more to tell you yet I didn’t know how I was going to tell her so I just came out with Andrea I am gay and I have been seeing my boss Shawn, she just gawped at me ok I said Andrea pick your jaw up off the floor but isn’t he married she screamed at me ( not the reaction I was expecting but hey I have said it now ) Andrea calm down I said it takes 2 to tango I know but he’s married riley she replied I can’t help who I fall in love with Andrea was my smart reply so your telling me your falling in love with him she replied, yes at least I think I am he makes me feel complete, he’s kind caring and funny Andrea all I have ever wanted and he is so damn sexy, well I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into she said well I have 2 days off work now so I won’t be seeing him for a while I guess just as I had said that I received a text on my phone from Shawn saying I MISS YOU ALREADY LOVE S xxx, well my heart just skipped a beat, who was that Andrea asked Shawn I said what does it say it says he is missing me already she just looked at me I knew she was angry but she would get over it, hey Andrea I am heading to bed now as I am completely exhausted see you tomorrow love you, love you she replied even if you are a dick sometimes.
Chapter 6 - calm before the storm
As I arrived back at work I got in extra early to steal a few private moments with Shawn I had brought his usually cappuccino in and as I handed it to him he asked me to follow him to the back room and he shut the door and stood there kissing me oh my god riley I have missed you so much it hurt, well I am here now he replied and he just kept kissing me and holding me and I could see tears forming in his eyes don’t cry babe I said my heart was melting for him. I knew we had to remain professional at work but how was I going to keep my composure when my hot boyfriend sat opposite me, work was dragging it must have been the longest day of my life I knew at 5 Shawn and I were going to the local gay bar called Angela’s I was scared and nervous in case anyone I knew saw me there I already had my alibi ready I was there with a friend just having a drink I had come out to Andrea I was sure I was ready to come out to the whole world as we arrived we took the table at the very back Shawn got the drinks and brought them over and kissed me so passionately I nearly collapsed does that make up for not seeing you in 2 days he replied it goes someway I said but I really want to spend the night with you I replied, I know you do but it difficult but I will see what I can do he said and I believed his every word so we had been out for about 2 hours when he said he had to go and pick his wife up every time he mentioned her it cut through me like a knife not because I could be with him but because he didn’t want to be with her ok it was totally cause he couldn’t be with me. So I headed home alone Andrea wasn’t in when I got home it felt so cold and lonely and I just collapsed onto the floor crying that I couldn’t be with the man I was starting to love I was still there when Andrea came in honey what’s wrong she asked and I let it all out on her I wanted to be with him and I didn’t care who knew, I was hurting really bad she came and cuddled me but I just sobbed and sobbed I decided to get an early night but as I lay in bed I just had images of Shawn and his wife together playing happy families and it had crushed me and I sobbed myself to sleep.
Chapter 7 – Christmas is coming
So it finally arrived we were in December and I have been seeing Shawn for 6 months without anyone finding out and tonight I am staying at his house as his wife is going away on a shopping trip to Paris, I texted Shawn what time you coming for me about 5 minutes later I got a reply I am on my way back from the airport will be with you in 30 minutes ok love I texted back love you xxxx, Andrea he will be here in about 30 minutes good she said so I finally get to meet him I guess you do, so as I packed my stuff up there was a knock at the door omg who could that be please do not let it be for me awww worse look it was tyler
Hey stranger he replied long time no see I sorry mate I said I have been up to my neck in it at work your telling me he said you never seem to leave yours and shawn office he keeps and pretty close eye on me these days I said and just keeps me busy with work tea or coffe andrea asked him coffee tyler replied, oh great I thought how am I gonna get rid of him before shawn arrives my heart was beating so fast I thought I was gonna pass out you alright mate tyler said yeah fine I said just waiting for someone that’s all oh yea is that why I have seen much of you lately he said and I gave him a sly look oh it is isn’t it so who’s the lucky woman then and andrea pipped up oh you know them, I just looked at andrea and if looks could kill she would have been dead, not one you really know, and then their it was a knock on the door I wanted the ground to swallow me up, I will get tyler called and before I could get to the door he had opened it and standing there was shawn oh hi shawn tyler said and turned to look at me and put 2 and 2 together and stormed out off the apartment scfreaming so that is who you have been screwing I shouted after Tyler no it’s not like that Tyler and Shawn looked at me and said don’t worry who will believe him, you better come in then I said and he sat down Andrea was questioning him what his feeling etc. were for me I could see he was feeling awkward come on the Shawn lets go and we went out the door Andrea shouted once to meet you Shawn, as Shawn drove me to his house he was silent I knew he was angry with me but it wasn’t my fault Tyler just popped over unexpectedly, I tried explaining it to Shawn but he said you don’t have to explain anything to me, as we pulled up to his house he took straight to the bedroom where we made love for hours, and I was exhausted by the time we had finished so as it was getting near to Christmas I was decided what to buy Shawn and I knew whatever it was it would have to be stuff he would buy himself so it didn’t raise suspicion, as I lay watching him sleep I couldn’t have been more happier, then next morning over breakfast I asked him Shawn if you had to choose between your wife and me who would it be he said 100 % it would be you, you make me feel alive and happy I went round the table and hugged him. So after he dropped me home that afternoon I went Christmas shopping I brought him aftershave, new shirts, shoes, a suit and a new watch but I knew I wouldn’t see him that much over the festive season as his parents were flying over from America but I did ask if he could just come over boxing day to collect his presents, he said sure yeah but it didn’t sound very promising something wrong I said to him no nothing and I let it at that.
Chapter 8 – Broken hearted
It had been a terrible Christmas for me as the one person I wanted to share it with was not three but he was coming over today boxing the day I had been waiting for, I made myself presentable and waited it reach 12 midday and still no Shawn strange I thought so I tried to call him his phone went straight to answer phone and I waited and waited with dread filling my heart has there been an accident or something so I got the car out and drove over to his house but no all the cars were their so he clearly had gone out and it finally dawned on me he had made his choice and it was me like he had always promised he had chosen her I was heartbroken, I didn’t know where to turn what to do my world had come crashing down and what made it worse was that I was going to have to see him every day at work, when Andrea finally came back at 9pm she was surprised to see that Shawn had not been and started calling him all the names under the sun which just hurt me even more and that’s when it happened I planned revenge I sat there and though why should I be the only one hurt here so I have written a letter to Shawn wife describing everything we had done together and their house intimately and house I have used her shower in her room and I was glad I had written it made me feel good but also sad at the same time that I had to hurt someone and I drove over to his house at midnight with Andrea and as soon as we arrived I knew it was a mistake but it was too late Andrea snatched the letter and posted it through his door. We then returned home and I waited for what was coming my way.
Chapter – The Fallout
It was 8am in the morning I had not slept much just cried most of the night then I looked over to my phone at it was buzzing it was a blocked number so I answered and it was Shawn you fucking bastard was all I heard down the phone how could you do this to her she has not done anything wrong, my reply was Shawn why should I be the only one who is hurt here he said you knew what you were getting into you bastard I admitted yea I knew what I was getting into but you always promised me you would choose me but it just goes to show you never had any intention of choosing me you coward well I hope you rot you and her can rot in hell for what you have done to me you fucking bastard I shouted and hung up the phone but he wouldn’t let it rest he kept ringing and on the 6 time he rang I answered the phone I am coming over he screamed you can try Shawn but you will not be let in and then it dawned with 5 words the 5 words I do not want to here, see you at work then,
I knew as I made my way into the office after the holiday that I would be out of the job but what I didn’t realise is that he had given everyone the day off and was there waiting for me alone, I walked into the office and thought it strange that it was quiet I went to the office and was amazed to see my stuff still on my desk hmmm I thought he would have had that out of here by now then all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in the side of my head he had punched he straight in the side of the face, I have never felt pain like it I thought my eye was going to explode he kept kicking me and screaming you whore this is what you deserve it’s all your fucking fault blow after blow after blow I must have passed out at some point when I awoke I was on my own and covered in blood every time I moved it hurt like hell but I was determined to make it out of the building alive and I didn’t know were Shawn was a thought passed through my mind I would have done anything for him but there is only so far I will be pushed until I snap and I had obviously snapped, I managed to get home and broke down I couldn’t take anymore I just couldn’t I was beaten to a pulp and my heart was breaking it has taken me 4 weeks to heal what he did to me and I never returned to my job after 7 years of battling with what happened I am finally over it and my life goes on and those are my words.