There's something inside you that isn't right
There's something that haunts your dreams at night
There's something that you have lost
And you're bringing it down
You're bringing it down
On top of us
Starset - Bringing it Down
"A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. "
Ecclesiastes 3:8
~ ~ ~
Existence...
Awareness came and went in the blackness, there was only the sensation of being, but beyond that... He had no form, no body, nothing through which to interpret the impulses he was feeling...
He simply was...
Cogito ergo, sum... He knew it meant "I think therefore I am," but he couldn't remember why he knew this, or where he'd first learned it...
He only knew that he existed but beyond that, he couldn't explain what that meant any more than trying to explain why he was aware of it...
Who am I?
The question came and went with his awareness, sliding in and out of focus. Sometimes he heard voices, muffled and distant. They triggered sensations within him that he often couldn't define at times. When he reached for them they scattered, leaving anguish in their wake.
The flitting touch of skin against his fingertips(did he even have fingers?) not sure whether they were real or just a memory... Only the strange feeling that he yearned for that touch... Craving it more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life... Odd, when he couldn't pinn down who or what the touch belonged to.
The fleeting sensation of a warmth pressed against (his?) body he couldn't quite grasp, only for the touch to vanish when he tried to turn and reach for... Her?
A voice that comforted him in the darkness but he couldn't quite make out what they were saying to him... Or even who it was... He struggled to put something, a name, anything to the... Sound?
The scent of hair against his nostrils, that was what his mind told him... It was her against him... a scent that made him want to wrap his arms around her... Who was she? He fought towards the answer, struggling against the blackness that was everywhere. A brief flash of blood, shouting... and... the memory fled from his grasp faster than he found it. He nearly wept.
Where was she?
He couldn't move...
If you die, I'll never forgive you...
He experienced pain, a searing that wrenched up inside of him. More painful than anything, it was wrenching him towards existence, even though he tried escaping it. He knew his time was running out... He had to save her... he was so close to picturing her face, she was important to him...
Who was she?
He tried and struggled for a way out...but he couldn't grab ahold of anything... There was nothing but the searing pain entrentching it's way throughout his being. If this was existence he wasn't sure he wanted it. But it wouldn't release him, no matter how much he fought.
And then... His eyes opened.
Abruptly, he was standing in a darkened alley. Neon lights lit up the area around him. He inhaled smelling the acrid stench of an overloaded trash bin and stale homeless bodies. He wrinkled his nose at the smell but a sense of familiarity with this place resonated within him. He knew this place...
He felt comfortable here...
This was not a place he'd been in real life. He was sure of it. Darkness permeated the city in between the lights. It was darker down here but when he looked up, lights lit the taller sections of the city spires above him...
He had descended into the lower levels of... The name ran away into the neon lights when he tried to recall it...
This was...
His own mind.
His own cyberspace...
He recognized it now, the darkened alleys, the neon dystopia he was standing in. This was a world he'd always been fascinated with, ever since... a movie? He grasped that thought and held it in place... His own internal cyberspace resembled one of his favorite movies... and it was...
He looked down at himself and did a double take.
Instead of the black jacket he was used to seeing on himself he sported the brown prison uniform from Helion 7.
Helion 7? No, no, no, that was all wrong...
The memories flooded in on his brain, forcing him to his knees as the realization hit...
Where is Ember? There was something he needed to ask her...
This time when the pain came he welcomed it with open arms and fled into it, screaming...
~ ~ ~
Null tried to relax but found that was proving difficult. The medical ward, while not overly threatening, was not her favorite place to be. She shifted and stared at the patient lying unconscious in front of her. She partially regretted her promise to Lars to wait at least until he woke up.
What's bothering you Null? Lars, the AI who shared a body with her sensed her unease.
You know how much I love being here, she grumbled. I'm sorry. Just bad memories, you know that.
We promised, Lars reminded her. And you promised.
In her mind's eye, she could see Lars, his eyes like tiny galaxies narrowed at her, staring at her with his arms crossed.
Null nodded, Don't remind me.
Shifting her lithe body into a more comfortable position she sighed again. She'd promised Ember to keep an eye on Red and make sure that Jack Dawson, the current leader of New Elysium, didn't lay a hand on Red while he was in their care. Being on New Elysium simply made her antsy and it wasn't like she and Jack got along in any way.
She knew he'd rather be rid of her, but she had a particularly good skill set, and he needed it. She'd trade him supplies for the occasional repair job for her ship. So far that had been working out. She had never had to spend more than a couple of days at once on the planet. Until now.
Now she was stuck here on general terms because she had made a promise to Lars, and she pretty much hated every second of it. But she could feel Lars concern for his former Captain. In another time, Lars had been the Second-in-Command of the ship, and Red had been Captain Scott then. No other promise would have kept her on New Elysium except the one to assuage Lars's fears that Red would wake up.
She turned and studied the small brunette who'd fallen asleep on Red's arm. Ember had barely left Red's side. The Vesper pilot had given Jack a full taste of her combat training when her brother had once again insisted on putting the Last Resort bomb inside Red's unconscious body. Ember had beaten him to a pulp, only to be pulled off by Dag. For that alone, Null decided Ember would have her eternal respect and admiration.
Null didn't understand the dynamics of the crew that had come to New Elysium with Red, but obviously, Ember had trusted Dag, as she didn't fight him. None of that stopped her from sleeping in the medical ward, watching Red's chest rise and fall every day. And no one dared to tell her not to.
"Amy?" Dr. Cyril Harper's whispered voice came from just outside the room.
Her pulse quickened at the sound of his voice, but she forced herself to remain calm. She rose and moved just outside the door, sliding it shut behind her.
"What is it?"
Cyril eyed her for a moment, and she shifted uneasily.
She understood the look well enough, he had made his point clear in the past. He wanted more from her, more than she could ever really give anyone. It wasn't that she didn't like him at all. It just wouldn't work. Cyril was grounded here... And Amy Larsson? Two beings in a shared body, who preferred the black to being planetside. Cyril knew about the latter, but he had no idea what he was really dealing with here. Or rather, who.
There's always Nova, Lars interrupted her thoughts.
She sighed impatiently.
Not now, Lars.
Nova was another story entirely. He knew the truth about the two of them, and for some strange reason, he didn't really seem to care. But that didn't make things any easier between them. She hadn't heard from Nova, and that bothered her more than she was going to admit to Lars or anyone, especially right now.
Cyril took her sigh as a sign she was impatient with his interruption. He glanced at the door and she knew that he was wondering what exactly the relationship was here.
She crossed her arms. Let him wonder if it keeps him from trying to get too personal.
"His stats look good, I think he will wake up soon as we lower the dose to keep him under," Cyril said.
"Why don't you tell Ember that?"
Cyril looked at her, his hands clenched around the tablet. "She's barely slept, I didn't want to wake her."
An amused smile flickered across her face. "Are you afraid of her, Cyril?"
Cyril looked surprised at the question. He raised the translucent, medical tablet in his hands in what seemed to be a defensive gesture, and shrugged slightly.
"I did treat Jack after she was finished with him..." he remarked. "I didn't realize she had that much of a temper."
"A temper?" Null raised an eyebrow. This was another thing they didn't see eye to eye on. Cyril trusted Jack in a way that Null never would, to an extent that he had almost put the Last Resort bombs into Red's body at Jack's order, against Red's wishes. And yet Cyril was loyal to Jack, probably still buying into his policy of "Sacrifices must be made". That was why Null would never put her life willingly into Jack's hands. For her taste, he was too quick to sacrifice one for the good of the many.
Red was proof of that.
Ember's temper was entirely protective. If Jack didn't continuously insist that Red become a martyr, a symbol for his cause, Ember probably wouldn't hurt a fly.
"You're afraid of her, but not me?" Null scoffed at Cyril, "I'm insulted."
Null, stop flirting with the good doctor, Lars interrupted. Can we go back now?
"He's lucky," Cyril said finally. "If she hadn't tossed him in cryo on her ship and gunned it here without you guys we wouldn't have had a chance."
Null nodded. "Tell you what, I'll relay the information to Ember."
"Wait..." Cyril held up a hand just as she was about to turn around and walk back inside.
"Is there something else?" Null crossed her arms, feeling Lars growing impatient. That wasn't like him. Red really needed to wake up soon, so they could at least go back to the Blackstar.
"Has anyone else been in and out of here? I'm missing several of my interface tools, and a data pad. I wanted to know if you have seen anything?"
Null cocked her head to the side. "Don't know. Has Dex been in and out or something?"
Cyril shook his head. "Dex has been closeted with Jack. I know you don't get along with Jack, but he's a different person with Dex. He's been training him to build parts for years. The kid has a real knack for it."
"I know." Null smiled.
Dex had built many things for her over the past few years. It was always a pleasure to bring him new hardware they had scavenged, for him to take apart and reassemble. He had even helped them with their greatest heist, the one in which they had stolen the warship that now orbited New Elysium and protected the planet. Being able to help bring his father back to New Elysium, it had felt like she'd finally been able to pay the kid back. And as much as she hated to admit it, Jack had mentored him well. Score one for the hated boss.
"Anyway, he's not been here, just Leah helping me put Red together. And that kid would never steal, you know Leah would hang him out to dry if she caught him. Besides... there's a few glitches in the systems lately. I wondered if it might be connected."
Null chewed on her lip and then shrugged. "I don't know what's happening. Check the video feeds. Sounds like you have a leak."
A leak that needs plugging, Lars commented.
Not our problem, she said.
It might be if it affects operational procedures at the medical ward, he countered.
She heaved another sigh.
"Look, Cyril, just check the video feeds and get back to me if you need anything specific." She turned away from him without looking and slid back into the room, sinking down in the chair.
Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him? Lars asked.
I'm sure.
Why?
Because, Lars, I want to be in here even more than out there.
Thank you, Null.
Null shrugged and leaned back as she mulled Cyril's problem. She was just about to suggest they patch in from this room and view the feeds themselves when Red groaned, and she froze.
~ ~ ~
The worst part about not being dead was waking up and finding out that in fact, you were very much alive. It hurt.
Red groaned as he shifted, not bothering to open his eyes. If he wasn't dead, he felt like he might still soon be. Everything hurt. Just breathing hurt.
He could hear the soft whir of machines, deciphering from the sounds that he was in a medical ward of some kind.
He cracked an eye open only to meet the deadpan stare of Null. That was enough to snap his eyes open wide.
"Fuck," he tried to get out. It came out barely above a whisper.
Her gray organic eye looked stormy and morose, the black one expressionless as ever. She cocked her head at him.
"She's exhausted. She wouldn't leave your side, I told her I'd keep an eye on you, but she stayed anyway."
"What?" Red tried making sense of her statement, watching as Null's brows furrowed.
"Ember," Null pointed and whispered. "She's there."
Red shifted his head, wincing. His augments must be offline, every move was sluggish. There next to him was Ember. She had both of her tiny hands wrapped around his, with her head lying next to his arm and her brunette hair fanned out on the sheets. Her face was tilted towards him, eyes closed. She looked at peace. He blinked away sudden tears as he looked at her. They'd made it, both of them.
"Before you wake her up, I just want to say something," Null whispered. "Before I lose my nerve."
Red turned and stared at Null. There was little he could do to stop her right now. She could kill him if she wanted to, and all he would be able to do was breathe at her in protest.
"I just wanted to say, I understand you now. When you wanted to kill Adam because he was hurting Ember, back on her ship." Null took a deep breath. "On the Perihelion... I almost lost Lars back there." He could barely hear her whisper. "That AI tried to kill him. Let's just say, I know what it felt like to hear him suffer... and I wanted to tear what was hurting him apart."
Red slowly closed his eyes and opened his hand towards her. Null stared at it for a moment and then grabbed it and shook it. He winced but grasped her hand as hard as he could before releasing her and letting his own hand drop back.
"We've been taking shifts just to make sure Jack doesn't come in here himself and try to put a bomb inside of you again," Null continued. "Ember has been a permanent fixture."
"He found the LR?" Red's words slurred a little and he hated how weak he sounded.
"Not yet, as far as I know," Null grinned devilish grin at him. "But he hasn't spent any time on the Aphelion in the Captain's quarters either."
He cracked a grin in return and relaxed back into the pillow to close his eyes.
"I'll leave you two alone. But Leah is probably going to be in here sometime in the next hour," Null stood up and shifted slightly until it was Lars standing before them.
"Welcome back, Captain." He smiled and saluted Red. Then Null took over again, her shoulders slouching, but she still smiled.
Red tried raising his arm to return the gesture, but it was too sore. He settled for a slight nod instead. Null nodded in return, took a passing glance at Ember as she left the room, darkening the lights slightly.
Red was already turned to the woman who had been through so much with him in such a short time. He just watched her breathing for a moment, to really reassure himself that that part had been just a dream at least.
"Ember," he whispered. Just saying her name brought back a flurry of memories, some he was prepared for, others, not quite so much.
Yanking her out of the containment unit, after being so terrified he'd never see her again. The look on her face when she realized he'd really come for her, it was the one time he'd seen her lose her composure.
And then he killed her father.
Afterward... Realizing he might never see her again and trying in vain to get his limbs to move to her.
"Ember," he said again, more loudly this time.
He would make damn sure she knew this time. His voice sounded raspy to him and he closed his eyes, frustrated at his inability to move, but when he opened them again, Ember's head had popped off the bed and she had a death grip on his hand.
"Ember, you are hurting me," he managed, his voice low, as he cringed. He missed his augments now more than ever. It hurt, but he didn't mind the pain. It was a reminder that they were both very much alive.
She looked down at his hand. "Oh! I'm sorry."
"So, you don't hate me forever, right?" He whispered.
"What?" She sounded so surprised that he laughed, and damn it, that hurt too.
He raised both of his hands as high as he could. "Just come here."
Ember's eyes started to look shiny but she sat down on his bed and carefully laid her head down on his chest, being careful not to disturb any of the medical wiring or tubes that were coming out of his side. His arms wrapped around her and then only then, did he truly relax.
"We made it," he whispered into her hair.
Ember leaned back and he could see a few tears streaming down her face now. She leaned forward and placed her lips against his and Red felt himself responding to that. He felt an irrational anger at himself for not being able to do more than keep his arms around her.
"Ember!" A woman's voice yelled from behind her. Ember scrambled away, her face scarlet, but she didn't look the least bit apologetic.
Behind her, a tall dark-skinned woman, her hair tied in hundreds of tiny braids that hung down her back, gave her a disapproving frown.
"You can wait a few more days, can't you? Amy said he just woke up. Stay off, or I'm sure Dag can still peel you off in a heartbeat if necessary."
Leah's voice was stern but even Red could detect amusement in it. Dag's wife looked at the medical tablet she had brought and then studied Red's face for a moment. Red hadn't gone to see her or their son, Dex, after their arrival on New Elysium, because he still felt guilty that Dag had ended up in Helion 7 with him. Seven years was a long time for a man not to see his family just because his friend had anger issues.
He said nothing and dropped his eyes to his hands which were once again across his stomach. Ember sat back in the chair next to him taking his hand once more. Leah's fingers bustled over him, lifting his shirt gently as she pulled back the bandages.
"They look fine. I suppose you've already got someone to watch you when I release you from this place?" she asked, casting a brief glance at Ember.
Red's hopes rose. And then she crushed them.
"Of course that's not happening today. Sorry."
Her tone told Red she knew exactly what she'd done. She pushed the material back down and looked Red in the eye.
"That was one of the scariest surgeries I've ever had to perform, even Cyril said he has rarely seen worse than this. You're lucky your girl thought to put you in cryo, or you wouldn't have made it here."
Red glanced over at Ember. "Cryo? Why-"
"You almost bled out." Leah wasted no words as she turned away to one of the machines beside the hospital bed. "Dag will be up here to see you, he's been hanging around waiting. I finally had to force him to work on The Ember since that is technically his job while it's in dock."
"What happened?" Red directed this question at Ember now.
"You died." This time Ember's voice was hollow and low.
Leah looked at her and then clicked her tongue. "Almost died, besides God must have wanted him here, he didn't stay dead for long."
"So you do hate me," Red looked at Ember, trying to make a joke, but his voice had gotten lower. He felt almost drained from talking.
"Of course," she responded. "But in the good way. I plan on making you pay for it for the rest of your days."
Red closed his eyes. "Did you just pop the question at me? I'd kneel you know, but I don't have a ring, and I don't think my body will cooperate right this second."
"Shut up, Red." Ember's lips pressed against his forehead. "Go to sleep."
Red felt himself slipping away, but not into darkness, rather the comforting sensation that Ember was going to be there when he woke up.
"That was either the worst marriage proposal I've ever heard... Or the best. You think he'll remember that when he wakes up later?" Leah whispered over him as she and Ember both pulled the blankets up under his chin. He felt Ember's hand over his again.
"Of course, I will," he muttered, not realizing he'd spoken out loud.
He relaxed completely, his head falling to the side where moments ago he'd seen Ember asleep on his arm.
~ ~ ~
Bjorn Andersson studied the remains of all that he'd managed to collect from the original headquarters of Orion's Reach. From the remaining Starseed pods to the files he had salvaged from the backup terminals. He had been sifting through the remains, trying to build a better foundation on the old one.
Credit had gone to a man by the name of Red, formerly Captain Scott of the Neo-Tokyan Navy. It was a believable story, but looking at the footage Bjorn had managed to get his hands on, he was now certain that this hadn't been the case.
The propaganda machine needed a scapegoat and this Red had fit the bill. But Bjorn knew better. He studied the faces of the woman and the purple haired man in the scrambled video that had been retrieved from the site. They had fought well together, and he knew without a doubt these were the real infiltrators.
He turned to the chair behind him. In it sat a man, his head shrouded in a black hood, his hand and feet bound to the old-fashioned metal chair. Bjorn had always found these antique style more useful, precisely for situations like these.
On the desk in front of him, an incredible collection of weaponry sat on display. He had been surprised when they had pried his coat off of him, It had taken them half an eternity to go through every pocket. But Bjorn was never less than thorough. This pitiful human in front of him deserved to die, but for now, he needed him.
He turned and yanked the hood off his head.
The man's beaten face was covered in so much blood it was almost unrecognizable. His shock of purple hair was tinged red and completely in disarray. But Bjorn would have recognized him anywhere. In a past life, they'd been friends.
"Theo," He greeted.
Nova spat at him. A mixture of blood and spit hit Bjorn's face. He did not react, instead, he pulled back and walked to the desk picking up an impressive dagger they'd pulled out of one of Theo's sleeves. Taking that man had been no easy task for them, he'd lost a few men in the process. But seeing him here squirming, it had been worth it.
"Let's have a chat, Theo. There are a few things I want to know."
"Theo is dead," the man spat back, scowling at Bjorn through narrowed eyes. "My name's Nova now."
Bjorn could tell from the look on his face that Theo knew what was coming.
"I never took you for such a softie Bjorn," Nova commented, glancing at the dagger in his hands.
Bjorn snorted. "Why don't you just tell me how one man made a Navy Captain surrender an entire Leviathan ship without firing a single shot."
Nova snickered. "Oh, he fired a lot of shots that day, Bjorn. Stop reading Propaganda. Greer is a former crew member of his. And he's not the only one, they've been defecting right and left. Haven't you heard?"
"I've heard," Bjorn said softly.
He moved closer, and then suddenly, the dagger was sticking up right in Nova's thigh. Bjorn stared straight into Nova's eyes and watched his augments, white rings around his dark brown irises, light up. To his dissatisfaction, the man did not scream in pain. He only grit his teeth as Bjorn stood over him.
"Now why would they do that?" Bjorn asked, "Why would they simply surrender to him?"
"If you ever met him - he's intense." Nova's voice was ragged by his pain-labored breath. "Plus, he did kill Darius. The old man died on the Perihelion."
"I had wondered." With his back towards Nova, Bjorn ran his fingertips across the various blades spread out on the table before him. "And the woman who was there with you?"
Nova laughed out loud. "Man, you are picking the wrong fight, Bjorn."
"Oh?"
"Red is one hell of a shot, he doesn't need to see you to do it. It was fucking beautiful, even more intense when he's pissed. But the Pirate Queen?"
"What about her?"
"She's the fucking devil herself. You get lost in that one."
"You sound like you know from experience," Bjorn remarked. "Still, despite all of your reputations, it's hard to believe that just the three of you pulled off something like that."
"You missed one Bjorn."
"Oh, who?"
Bjorn turned around to find Nova standing up, a knife in one hand, the other holding the one he had pulled from his own leg, and froze.
"Not who... What." Nova eyed him, but neither of them moved.
"I never thought it would be this easy to get in here," Nova scoffed, then he heaved a sigh.
"She's probably going to kill me, you know, my Pirate Queen. But I heard a rumor about your little enterprise, and just couldn't pass this up."