Chapter Seven
Hollin
The number of patrols from the Enemy over the past two weeks alone worried Ninimben.
She sat on her own, secluded from the others of Rohan in an empty room, as had become her habit ever since she settled in Rohan. Mingling with the other Men of Rohan brought back memories of her time with Thorin's Company, memories she would rather forget. Besides, being on her own gave her some time to think and collect her thoughts, and reflect on what was happening – including the increased number of enemy attacks.
She had suspected that enemy patrols were becoming more frequent in Middle Earth, having spotted them more and more over the recent years. Being still in one place, however, made her realise just how unstable the peace was. It could only mean that Sauron was gaining power once more, and that left her feeling sick to her stomach.
Ninimben groaned and leaned her head back. It was times like this, despite her attempts not to, that she yearned for Thorin's presence. He'd had a way of getting her to focus, be still, and not think years into the future. Or Fili and Kili – they'd been able to distract her by making her laugh, so caught up in their youth and constant excitement that the world's problems melted away for long periods of time.
"If not for joining us in battle, I would have thought you had left us."
Ninimben looked up and saw Eomer enter the room. She looked away again and blinked rapidly, clearing the mist in her eyes. "I don't feel like company."
"You know, the men would be less anxious around you if they knew you a little," Eomer suggested with a grin. He pulled up a seat beside her. "They'd be able to trust you more that way."
Ninimben shrugged. "It doesn't bother me what others think."
"I don't think so. I've noticed the way you frown when the men look away from you – you want to be included. Why not show your face every now and then?"
Ninimben licked her lips. Because every time I'm in a large company, it reminds me of those I've lost.
It was the full truth, but one she rarely acknowledged – or even tried to understand. How could she describe to strangers that every time she was among a group, she thought of her old Dwarven friends? How did she explain that she was scared to get close to any one of them because she'd done that before, and almost faded because of it?
She didn't even want to think about it.
"The last time I had company, it didn't work out," she said, more snappily than she intended. She twisted her body a little further away from Eomer. "That's all you need to know."
Eomer fell silent.
"You know... We heard stories of the reclaiming of Erebor," he said, slowly. "There was mention of a single Elf from Mirkwood that was among the Company."
Ninimben stiffened.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she glared, already feeling her walls being thrown up, challenging Eomer to say more. To call her out. To impose his perspectives on her coping mechanisms and critique her, like so many others had done. Her eyes shifted about the room, searching for the most convenient exit.
But Eomer only smiled gently, patient, willing to wait.
"You don't have to tell me everything, Ninimben," he said quietly, "Or anything at all. But I am your ally here. I wish to help you. Even get to know you a little."
Ninimben opened her mouth, an automatic refusal ready on her lips, but she paused. Closed her mouth. Sat back and pressed her lips together.
She hadn't interacted with many others since she left Erebor, and those she did didn't tend to want much to do with her. They wanted her skills, her services, nothing else. They hadn't cared about who she was. She'd had no reason to forge any attachments.
But Eomer... It had only been two weeks, they had barely spoken, and yet he was already looking out for her. Already he understood enough about her to piece together the basics of her story.
He obviously cared.
And she needed an ally – many allies, if Sauron was indeed growing stronger like she feared.
Maybe... maybe getting to know Eomer wouldn't be so bad, after all.
"Thank you, Eomer." She cleared her throat. "Perhaps... perhaps you could introduce me to Theodred? I feel like I should know him better, at least."
Eomer smiled.
"It would be my pleasure."
* * *
Ninimben smiled to herself as she stood on the edge of the hill, overlooking the rolling landscape of Middle Earth. They'd travelled long and hard to get here, and with the midday sun at its highest peak, decided it was time for lunch, which Sam was busy preparing.
Ninimben had wandered away from the others, desiring a moment of quiet. As she stared over the landscape, her mind had wandered to her friends in Rohan, landing especially on Eomer, and allowing herself to indulge momentarily in those memories, forgetting her more pressing concerns.
She felt her shoulders relax for the first time since she left Edoras.
"You've been on edge lately."
Ninimben jumped. She whipped around and glared at the offender. "Don't scare me like that, Legolas!" she exclaimed to her brother, resting her hands on her hips.
He chuckled under his breath. "You've always been too easy to startle, lost in your thoughts as you are."
Ninimben bristled. "Not always," she snapped, scowling. She crossed her arms over her chest and hunched her shoulders.
Legolas raised his hands. "Apologies. I did not mean..." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Never mind. I am merely concerned about how it will affect you."
"You know I can handle myself in battle."
"I do, more than most. That's not why I'm concerned though."
Ninimben's heartrate increased. She tapped her fingers against her elbows. "Why, then?" she demanded tersely.
They might have grown distant, but Legolas had still known her longer than anyone else in Middle Earth – they'd grown up almost attached at the hip. Despite how they might have changed, he was more attuned to her mannerisms and behaviours than anyone.
"I've noticed how you skirt around Frodo," her brother said softly. "You're afraid, Nim, and you're never afraid."
It felt like she'd been shot through the heart.
He'd hit the nail on the head on a truth she had been doing her best to ignore.
He really had grown more observant as time passed.
Ninimben laughed bitterly. "I'll give you one guess as to why. You should know. You and Father both warned me about what would happen. Well, congratulations. You were right."
Legolas blinked like he had been struck.
"I do not come to brag!" he protested. "It would be cruel of me to even wish that, when I know how much Thorin meant to you -"
Ninimben snapped a hand up and glared. "Stop right there, Legolas."
He stepped backward, raising his hands in surrender. "I am sorry. I know cannot begin to understand your grief."
Ninimben wrapped her arms over her chest, directly over her heart. She felt like the air was thickening around them – it was becoming more difficult to easily draw breath. She needed to leave.
"I've changed," she said. "You've changed. Neither of us are the same sheltered children we once were in Mirkwood. I do not know you anymore."
"Then let me." He grabbed her arm. "No matter what lies between us, you are still my sister, and I want to know you."
Ninimben paused.
Aragorn and Boromir had both warned her she could come to regret it, if she didn't reconnect with her brother. She had been thinking similar thoughts.
She knew she might regret not taking the chance to rekindle her relationship with her brother.
However, a part of her still panicked, still wanted to flee whenever she considered becoming that close with him again. There'd be no hiding. He'd know her, properly, again. He might reject her as she was now, which would only break her heart all over again. Was she ready for that? Was she ready to learn the full extent of who her brother had become?
She didn't know.
"We'll see," she said shortly. She spun on her heel and marched in the opposite direction, where Boromir had taken it upon himself to use the time to continue instructing Pippin in swordfighting.
"Do not be afraid of Frodo, Nim," he said softly to her retreating figure, just loud enough that no one else could hear – she could only pick it up because of her Elfish hearing. "I can tell how you yearn to get close to him. You're stronger than any of us."
Ninimben bit her lip, but otherwise didn't react. She stalked over to where Aragorn sat, watching the proceedings. He was smoking his pipe – normally the scent of the smoke bothered her, but it was the last thing on her mind as she plopped herself down beside him.
Aragorn glanced sideways at her. "Are you alright, Nim?"
She shrugged. "I don't know," she sighed, and rested her chin on her knees. She focused on the people before her, hoping the familiar drill of training would settle her rattled soul.
Aragorn didn't probe her further, for which she was grateful. She wanted some time to herself and her thoughts.
Boromir nodded as Pippin completed a set of set moves. "Good, very good."
"Move your feet," Aragorn advised.
Pippin implemented Aragorn's advice into his practice, which instantly improved his skills.
"You look good Pippin," Merry complimented.
Pippin flashed a grin over his shoulder. "Thanks!"
Merry joined in. In her peripheral vision, Ninimben spotted Frodo and Sam seated nearby, also spectating. Frodo must have felt her gaze for he turned to her. For a moment they locked eyes, and Ninimben's chest tightened, but Frodo merely smiled and waved. She returned the gesture stiffly, like she was a puppet and someone was pulling the strings, but something within her relaxed when she realised Frodo was still amiable toward her.
Maybe she was being paranoid. She wasn't her friends. She wasn't Boromir. She wasn't Thorin. Just because she had seen the gold drive him into madness didn't mean it would do the same to her.
"ARGH!"
Ninimben whipped back around just in time to see Pippin throw his sword and clutch one of his hands to his chest. Boromir looked like he'd just been slapped.
"Sorry!" he moaned, and hurried forward to check Pippin's wound.
Pippin retaliated by kicking Boromir in the leg.
"Get him!" Merry yelled, throwing himself on Boromir.
Ninimben grinned as the Hobbits wrestled Boromir to the ground, jumping on top of him and attempting to pin him to the floor – made all the easier from the way Boromir was uncontrollably laughing.
"For the Shire!" Pippin crowed. "Hold him, hold him down Merry!"
Ninimben and Aragorn exchanged a look, and both rolled their eyes.
"I think our friend might require a rescue from the wrath of the Hobbits," Ninimben said dryly.
Aragorn laughed and ambled toward them. "Gentleman, that's enough!" he said, taking Merry and Pippin by the arms.
It was so sudden Ninimben didn't see it coming: one second, Aragorn stood over the Hobbits, and the next they had grabbed his legs and thrown him backwards onto the ground.
Ninimben doubled over, her shoulders shaking. Tears formed in her eyes. "I've taught them well," she said between fits of laughter, shaking her head.
She was never going to let her friends live this down.
"What is that?" Sam asked.
Ninimben twisted. Her laughter died from her lips, and her heart dropped into her stomach. A large, black mass was in the sky – and it was incoming toward them. It didn't look like an ordinary cloud.
Whatever it was, it made her want to reach for her weapons.
Gimli waved his hand. "Nothing! It's just a wisp of cloud."
"That might be wishful thinking, Gimli," Ninimben said quietly. She clutched her bow and narrowed her eyes at the incoming force.
"It's moving fast," Boromir noted, "Against the wind."
The mass only came closer.
"Crebain from Dudland!" Legolas exclaimed.
Ninimben went cold all over. We're sitting ducks out here in the open! She slapped herself mentally for not recognising the Crebain sooner.
"Hide!" Aragorn barked.
"Hurry!"
"Take cover!"
Ninimben scrambled to her feet. "Come on, quickly!" she yelled to Merry and Pippin, who were still on the ground. She reached her hand and helped haul them to her feet. Her head swivelled wildly until she found Frodo. "Hide, Frodo!" she exclaimed, her promise to Bilbo echoing loudly in her ears.
The camp was a flurry of movement as everyone ran, making all traces of their presence disappear: fires were hastily stamped out and covered, belongings hidden, messes cleared. It was then a mad scramble for cover behind the few bushes and rocks their campsite had to offer.
"Nim!" Boromir yelled, gesturing widely.
Ninimben finished kicking their campfire from view and ensured Frodo was hidden, then dived beside Boromir, who helped to pull her out of sight.
Not a moment too soon.
Ninimben felt like the dark mass of the Crebain were pushing her to the ground as they swooped overhead in a massive, omniscient cloud. She didn't even dare to breathe unless it should alert the Crebain to her presence.
The foul birds cawed and circled overhead. For a moment, Ninimben was terrified they wouldn't leave, as would dive too close to the rocks and spot them. However, they finally circled back around and left the way they came.
A deathly quiet befall their camp. Ninimben glanced over at Boromir, who looked as tense as she felt. It wasn't until the beating of the Crebain's wings disappeared and their caws faded into the distance that they peeked out from behind their cover, like prey checking the coast was clear, before emerging into the open.
"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf growled. "The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."
Ninimben pressed her lips together and folded her arms over her chest.
She glanced over to the South. Her chest ached. Going south would have led them to the Gap of Rohan – to Rohan. To Eomer. Just a bit further and she would've been standing in Rohan's lands again. She could have led them to the Golden Hall, to Eomer, who wouldn't have hesitated to lend them any aid they might ask for. She could be reunited with her friends and be welcomed by Eomer's embrace, Eowyn's bright smile and Theodred's dependable presence. She could lean her forehead against Eomer's and, for the first time since the quest began, allow herself to fully vulnerable and spill out her heart and all the turbulent thoughts she had about her brother, about Frodo, about her past and how she couldn't look at Merry and Pippin without being somehow reminded of her dead friends.
He was the only one she felt comfortable letting her walls down around. She wanted nothing more than the presence of her friends right now.
It wasn't until she left them behind that she realised just how valuable they were to her. She knew she treasured their friendship before, but not the extent until they were miles apart.
And those miles could have become non-existent if Saruman hadn't stood in their way.
She bit her lip, stomach churning. Saruman was becoming more open in his attacks against Middle Earth. Was Eomer alright? Had she made the right decision by leaving?
She shook herself. No. She had to have faith in Eomer's abilities – and not just his, but Eowyn's and Theodred's. He was alright. He had to be.
They all did.
* * *
Who else is screaming at Legolas and Nim to just make up already? And yes, I know Nim is being a little unreasonable to Legolas, but once again she is complex, she is flawed, she makes mistakes, and she will have to learn and grow from them. Not even Elves are perfect!
(It's difficult to say she's human when she's... clearly not lmao).
Also, don't interpret that last part as Ninimben healing because of a boy! Eomer just happens to be the person she grew closest to and who she feels most comfortable around. She doesn't exactly know anyone in the Fellowship well enough yet to let herself spill out her heart, but she made that connection with Eomer and Eowyn while in Rohan, which is why she wants them nearby. However, Eomer is not going to be the reason she is healed – Ninimben is going to have to do that on her own. And she is going to develop that level of connection and comfort with many of the other characters as well!
Btw, the flashbacks won't always be in order. I like to link what's happening in the flashbacks with what's happening in the bulk of the chapter. The flashbacks are just there to give you a greater insight into Ninimben's character, anyway.