Weeks later
I always felt a little empty. It hurt. I tried to never think of Alexandra but it never worked. Even though I never saw her since that night, I always have her on my mind. I missed her crooked smile. Her obsession with sweet corn. Liam always kept me on tabs though, he texted me a lot, telling me that she was doing fine. But he always added she was off. That the Alexandra he met at a concert years ago did not exist. I always begged that she never did what she did when we were sixteen. Cut herself. Get depressed. But no one in the entire world knew Alexandra like I did. The way she bit her lip when she tried not to cry. I missed her so much, but I could never go back. I couldn't. That would bring awkwardness.
Nathan arrived at my dorm. He looked really happy. I don't know why though. We haven't really been up to date really, it disappointed me. Nathan was my best friend. And I didn't even know if he was dating or not.
“Devin, I have the best news!” he gushed. Nathan always turned into someone younger when he talked.
“What Nathan?” I asked lazily. I really just wanted to study and mope around about Alexandra.
“Devin, I'm getting married!” he said. I was so surprised. If anyone on the team... Wait. There it is again. The team. Fighting Reality. I missed the anniversary. I didn't even send a text or anything. I feel so guilty. I was the one who put the team together. “Are you alright? You look a little pale,” Nathan said concerned.
“Fine. But who are you getting married to?” I asked. This I really wondered. Nathan never really found anyone who he loved.
“Scarlett,” he said a little embarrassed. I could see it on his face. The way his ears always turned red. Something that was always a tell tale sign that we did something wrong when we were little.
“You and Scarlett?” I scoffed. I was so surprised to be honest. Scarlett and him teased each other all the time when we were younger.
“Yeah,” he said. “And I was wondering, if you could come back to be my best man?” he asked tentatively. “Just a day or two, I promise.”
“Just a day or two.” I agreed. He was my best friend, I couldn't turn down being his best man at his wedding. No matter how much I didn't want to come back. “When are you getting married?”
“Tomorrow.”
“What?!”
“Tomorrow. Scarlett and I are getting married tomorrow.” I sighed. I was just being told this now. I felt to disconnected. I bet I missed a lot.
“Okay. I'm guessing your going to take me back now aren't you?”
“If your ready.” I realized everything then. I don't know what I was doing in this dorm.
“I was ready since I set foot out the door.” It was as true as my love for Alexandra. He grinned, wide showing all his teeth. But I was not ready to see Alexandra. I didn't want to see her and not be loved by her. I guess just some people were not meant to be loved. I'm one of those people.
“You know I was joking right?” he says to me in the car ride.
“About?” I ask very confused.
“That I was getting married.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I just had to get a reason to get you back home.”
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“Getting me back.”
“Anytime.”
He took me home that day. Yes, it's my home. There's nowhere else for me now, I don't have any more family. So this is my makeshift family. Where One Direction are like my uncles. Where I have four other siblings. This is family to me. In anything but the blood. I went back upstairs to my room. I burst through the door and smelt the familiar scent of myself. A layer of dust was collecting everywhere and it was exactly as I left it. I threw my duffel bag on the floor. I fell on my bed, inhaling my room I've missed for so long. It felt like home. But there was still something missing. I found it when I heard the all too familiar voice.
“Devin?” the voice said. Honey, like sweet sweet honey. It was like the first time I heard her say it in science class.
“Yeah?” I said. She ran up to me and hugged me. We were impossibly close. I was whole again. My world, my entire world was in my arms right now. Her perfume welled up in my nose. Secret Wonderland. I had given her that perfume for her birthday and she has been wearing it ever since. But it was not all Secret Wonderland, I could smell a hint of strawberry in the mix of it all. She smelt so good. The jingling of her millions of bracelets were music to my ears. Finally, I was home.
“I missed you, so much,” Alexandra whispered into my neck. Her breath against my skin sent shivers down my body. Shocks through my veins. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
“I missed you too,” I whispered back. I forgot about not wanting to see her again. It was like being on top of the world. She started to cry, softly. It was the saddest sight to see in the entire world. Her body trembled, and her lips quivered. She didn't shut her eyes, but the tears came rolling down her face. I gently wiped the tears away. “Please don't cry, Lex. You know I don't like it when you cry.”
“But Dev, I've missed you. I've missed loving you,” she said. I let a small gasp escape my mouth when she said it. She loved me? But that wasn't possible, was it? “I'm so sorry,” she apologized softly.
“For what?” I asked.
“For running away. I'm not as strong as I make out to be.”
“You're the strongest person I've ever met. You don't get hurt by hate.”
“No, you're the one who makes the hurt go away,” she said like a small child. Was I really? “You're the one who always made me laugh when I didn't even want to smile. Dev, you're my sunshine, my only sunshine.” I chuckled a bit at the last part. Alexandra was always making lyric references.
“If I'm the sunshine, then your my world,” I said. It was so cheesy. But I didn't care anymore. She was my world. All I had left. Alexandra was there when I heard my family died. When they announced the plane my family was riding on crashed into the ocean and they couldn't find it. When my little brother, Darren, as annoying as he was. I missed him. When Emily was gone, I didn't have my older sister anymore. She always had my back. She even took the blame most of the time, when I did something wrong. I missed her a lot. And my parents. I don't have the strength to describe my pain of losing them. But Lex, she had me. She shooed that pain away. But when I first heard, I cried all day and all night, that time. And she was always by my side and never left it. When I left the past few weeks was actually the first time we were ever separated in years. And she was the only explanation to my emptiness. It sounds too much like the movies, I know, but that was how it was.
“Don't turn this into something cliché, Rossi,” she said. Alexandra had a serious look on her face, but I could hear the joking manner in her voice. Taking the piss? Maybe. “I have a song for you.”
“Let me hear it.”
“Maybe I'm wrong, you decide
Should've been strong, yeah, I lied
Nobody gets me like you
Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant?
There was nothing to compare to
There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing I'm sure of
That I know how I feel about you
Can we bring yesterday back around?
'Cos I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
All that it takes, one more chance
Don't let our last kiss be our last
I'm outta my mind just to show you
I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
'Cos I know how I feel about you
Can we bring yesterday back around?
'Cos I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Not a day pass me by
Not a day pass me by
When I don't think about you
And there's no moving on
'Cos I know you're the one
And I can't be without you
Can we bring yesterday back around?
'Cos I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Can we bring yesterday back around?
'Cos I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
But I know how I feel about you know
Yeah, I know how I feel about you now.” I clapped enthusiastically after she sang. I thought about the lyrics, trying to decipher what she was trying to tell me. But Alexandra, unlike most girls, just said what she was thinking. “When you kissed me weeks ago, Dev, I had no idea what I thought of you. I was really confused about my feelings about you. I guess I didn't want to accept reality. But after you left I felt broken. Not like losing a brother. It was like losing someone so close to you, that knows you better than you know yourself. And I know not a brother of mine would know me like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, Devin Rossi, I think I'm in love with you.” Did she just say what I thought she did? Is it true? I'm not dreaming, right? Drunk, don't think so. She did. But now she's crying again. This was a first in a long time to see Alexandra cry.
“What's wrong?” I asked, fully concerned.
“You hate me now, don't you?” she sobbed. Why the heck would she think that?
“The exact opposite. I'm head-over-heels, totally completely, in love with you, Alexandra Hale. In fact, you make me fall in love all over again, everyday I've ever seen you.” It was the worst profess my love for you speech in history, but was enough. I guess.
I hear a shout from downstairs. “We're home!” Is it the voice I think it is? Truly I thought they would be out on tour by now, but apparently not. I look at Alexandra and she giggles. They tears are at bay now.
“They moved in a week or two back, too many fans tried to get into their apartments. But since this is private property, I thought it would be nice if they could stay here,” she said.
“This is amazing. It's like I have a family again,” I say sadly/happily. I felt a lot of mixed emotions.
“Want to make the most awkward moment in this house ever?” she smirks mischievously. I figured all of them would be downstairs in the living room. If they moved in a week ago, then my boys should be accustomed to One Direction.
“How are we going to do that, Ms. Striker?” I asked in a posh British accent. I actually got a slight accent from living here for awhile. But I haven't called Alexandra Ms. Striker for a really long time.
“Snog the life out of each other in front of everyone?” she says, full of mischief.
“Like the way you think, Hale,” I say. I carry her on my back as we go downstairs. We approach the living room and I can hear all nine of the boys. This is gonna be hilarious.
We start kissing, and it's like the first time we kissed again. Perfect. Amazing. Shocking. I'm falling. Again. And then we come into the room and receive a bunch of looks. Their faces are laugh out loud worthy, but I'm kissing my... Girlfriend? Yes, my girlfriend, Alexandra Hale. We break apart and I give the briefest, fastest, explanation ever. “So, I came back today, and plan on staying. And now Lex and I are dating so deal with it.” They all have looks of embarrassment, and we go back to snogging. It was absolutely amazing. It didn't even feel like anyone was looking at us. But we were in the middle of our living room, and my boys were watching us. I pulled away, feeling like they got enough of watching us make out. I sat down on the couch next to Harry with Alexandra on my lap. I asked, plainly, “What did I miss?” Everyone started to roar with laughter, Niall especially. I couldn't feel my cheeks anymore after a while and my sides started to hurt. Good pain, though.
Alexandra whispered in my ear, “Best calorie burner.” That only started another round of laughing.
The door bell rang and I realized Conor was missing. I got up to get it and it was him. He was surprised to see me, but was relieved. I led him to the living room while everyone else was still looking embarrassed. “What just happened here?” Conor asked.
“The most awkward moment in the house happened minutes ago when Alex and Devin kissed the life out of each other, in front of all of us,” Nathan explained. Conor just laughed.
“Mission achieved!” Alexandra exclaimed. What was the best thing was now I could say, my Alexandra. My Lex. She was finally all mine.
“So how did you guys move in, exactly?” I asked, facing One Direction.
“Well, what happened was, after a couple days the fans still did not move. Simon called and said we needed to move. They would get all our belongings and bring it to us, wherever we moved. He said it was our decision. And Alex here,” Louis ruffled her hair, “suggested we just live here,” Liam described.
“A guy misses so much when he's gone for a couple of weeks,” I pouted.
“Aww. That's alright, Jelly Bean. But now I'm hungry and I'm sure Niall will agree. Harry can you pretty please make dinner?” she begged. Niall nodded in agreement. It's been years since she called me Jelly Bean.
Harry sighed. “Does anyone want to help me?”
I would usually offer to help anyways, but today was my first day back home. “I'll help you, Haz,” Louis said. They got up and went to the kitchen.
“I almost forgot, how was the anniversary?” I asked. But a look of sadness wiped all my teammates faces. I instantly regretted saying it. “I'm sorry I didn't-”
“Well it wasn't really an anniversary without you, Dev,” Alexandra cut me off. She still did that. I guess some things never change.
“Then, let's celebrate our anniversary, yeah?” I say. They all became happier. Even Liam, Zayn and Niall look like they'll join us. I was wrong, that day in highschool was not the best day ever. Today was.
I went into the dining room and instantly saw the change. Alexandra saw my shocked expression and laughed. “We've had to change the table twice, the first time because we had to fit One Direction. And the second time because someone,” she faked coughed Louis, “ decided it would be cool if they were to dance on the table.” They table was huge. Well I guess it had to now because it had to fit now, ten people. Louis came in carrying a huge pot of stew.
“Is that what I think it is, Tomlinson?” I asked. It smelled heavenly. He only chuckled.
“If you think it's Harry's signature soup, then yes it is,” he said. Louis placed the pot on the table and walked back inside the kitchen and came back out carrying even more food. Harry had gone all out. Mash potatoes, chicken, steak, the works. And I it looked so good.
Harry finally came out of the kitchen and looked in admiration of all the food he made. A lot of us were already seated, but I had moved to stand next to Harry. “You know, the stew and chicken was probably all we needed,” I said to him.
“Definitely not. I heard that today is a do over anniversary and that someone finally got their girl,” he chuckled and winked. I felt the heat on my face but disappeared when Alexandra entered the room. She just has that effect on me. This is so cliché.
We all sat down at our gigantic table while I played catch up. I learned that each one of my boys were single. And now One Direction are also my boys. I feel so loved.
Liam asked a question that I've been wondering since the moment I heard that they moved in. “Alex, do you ever find it weird that you live with nine guys?”
She answered how I thought she would. Not so unpredictable now. “Never. I've actually found that being with guys is a lot easier than being with girls.” Alexandra sighed. Even though she said that, I knew she still kinda missed Violet and Scarlett. Colleen too. They were like sisters to her. And Alexandra hasn't ever had a sister.