Melissa
"I really can't believe that Carroll Coleman.. The president of student council, the ice queen, your enemy gave you a fucking cake!?" Skye exclaimed as she drove towards my house. I just nodded at her, not able to comprehend what just happened earlier. Carroll fucking Coleman gave me a fucking cake. The ice queen fucking gave me a cake. Can you believe it? Cause I still can't believe that I just received a fucking cake from her.
Oh by the way, I must say that she looked more attractive and, of course, sexier. I loved how the strands of her brown hair fell perfectly, how everything she wore suited her just perfectly.. And oh, those buttons revealed more than what I was expecting. I'm thankful that she is studying in an all girls school because she would have gained a lot of men's attention if she weren't studying in our school, and I would hate that.
"I don't look at her as an enemy anymore.." I mumbled to myself, but Skye being herself she heard it as if she had super hearing. A loud screech was heard as the car came to a sudden halt. "What did you just say?" Skye's head turned towards me. Shock was filling her eyes as they landed on me. They were wide open. I sighed. "She's not my enemy anymore.. That's what I said.." I thought she was gonna bombard me with her never ending questions, but all I heard was silence. A deafening one, but I wasn't complaining. I was rather thankful because I need no questions right now; I'm confused too and I have a lot of questions that even I could not answer at this moment.
"Hey babe, whatever you're on, I'll support you.. Now we're here.. I'll go inside too for thirty minutes and say hi to uncles!" Skye chirped, opening the door as she left the car. I let out a sigh of relief but when I processed Skye's words, my relief became fear.
Does Skye know already?
"I still can't believe it.." I mumbled to myself as we left the car. "Hello uncles!" Skye hugged the each of them, then me after her. When they started a conversation, their voices started to fade. It was as if my mind was creating its own music as Carroll started to invade it but my mind being as stupid as I am, it let Carroll in like a grandmother inviting her grandchild inside her house.
The moment Carroll made an eye contact with me, the moment where her emerald eyes never left mine.. That moment when she told me that I'm forgiven.. The moment I read her letter.. It is now safe to say that.. I am in love with her.. That I fell deeply for her.. If you would ask me long ago if it's possible for me to love, god even like or be attracted to Carroll, I would've said not a chance or not in anyone's dreams.. But look at me now.. Stupid Melissa.. Of all girls, why did this stupid pumping organ choose a straight girl?!
That time when I saw a vulnerable Carroll at the restroom.. I knew something changed.. I knew that something was odd.. Something ticked in me..
But I also realized something, something that I don't know whether I should be happy or not.
I like Carroll. I am falling for the ice queen.
Fuck this feelings, I've never had any of this before. I know that I'm gay because I feel attraction, both sexual and emotional, towards women, not to men and also because I thought that men are boring, this is just in my opinion though... I think not having a father for years was also a factor of me being gay.... Whatever, the point is I've never had any deep attraction to any girls in the past.. I never thought of a girl as my girlfriend, or having a future with her.. But Carroll turned the tables. There is something in her that keeps pulling me, luring me to her and I hate it.
It felt as if she was a proton while I'm her electron.
There's something about her that makes me want to hold her in my arms, to be able to cuddle with her, to be able to kiss her forehead and tell her that I'm always there for her no matter what happens.. I want to take her to the park and just walk together not muttering a word...or to an ice cream shop where we could feed each other and laugh at my stupidity.. I want Carroll..
What made Carroll different from the others? And why Carroll? For fuck sake. I could've fallen for Elisabeth, Anna or even Winchester! Just not her!
Why not her?!
She's fucking straight, heavens sake! And I hate myself for falling for her because I don't know what on earth should I do!
Well, I guess I can't do anything about these fucked up feelings. I guess I'll just have to deal with it until it subsides, or whatever.. fades? I'm guessing that this will be my first heart break. Carroll will be the first girl I loved. Screw it, whatever.
"Hey Skye, I have to tell you something.." I mumbled, fixing my glasses. They all looked at me then nodded. "Hey babe, let's go to your room and pack up some clothes.." I frowned which Skye seemed to notice it but did not say anything.
"Why are we packing up?" I asked while we were roaming upstairs, looking for my room. Minutes have passed yet my question is still left unanswered. It seemed like my question just dissolved in the air. Skye stopped in front of the purple door causing me to also stop abruptly behind her. She gave me a brief glance over her shoulder, her eyes glinting with something that I couldn't fathom what is it, before her hand twisted the knob.
"Don't worry, uncles already agreed.. We're staying the weekends at Emma's.. She's hosting another sleepover.." I nodded as we looked for some pajamas. I mentally slapped myself for immediately agreeing to my friend and not thinking of the possibility of Carroll's appearance there.. After the realization that I just went through, I could not bear to see the cause of my heartache.
It just hurts. Like when you watch the person you like smiling and chuckling but you are not the reason of those, it just pains me. I don't know anymore. I just want to be the cause of her melodic laugh, her bright smile, and happiness in her emerald orbs that I just find myself lost into.
I breathed a tired sigh, again, before asking the dreaded question. I still did even though I already have an idea of what the answer could be..but who knows? Let's just hope for the best but expect the worst.
"Will... Carroll... be there?" I asked with a little shake that is evident in my voice. It's impossible for Skye not to notice it. My heart started beating as if it wants to break free inside my chest.
Skye's head quickly turned around like an owl's. Something crossed her eyes when they met with my blue orbs identical to hers. It was gone before I could tell what it was, and she was just staring at me with her usual gaze. Masked and covered. Skye is really good at hiding her feelings, I'm quite envious and curious on how she does that. Maybe she's wearing her heart on her cheeks.
"Probably," she shrugged before heading for my closet. "So Melissa.. what is it that you needed to tell me??" Skye questioned with her back facing me as she started to stuff my bag with my clothes that I don't know why it included my swimsuit. Skye stopped rummaging through my closet before turning her body towards me. "It seemed urgent because you were mumbling..." She added while shooting me a curious look as her head tilted a little bit on her side.
I know that she's my best friend and that I should tell her as soon as I discovered my feelings for that particular brunette.. I know that I could and should trust her. And I am also certain that she can help me cope with it or help me move on..but..
That stupid deal is ruining everything! I wish I hadn't agreed on that! Stupid me! Fucking..
"What?" She repeated. I can't calm my shit down, I feel like I'm about to puke anytime by now. A feeling of nausea suddenly came over me, hitting me like a truck. I could only hope for this feeling to fade away sooner. The same with my feelings for Carroll.
I averted my gaze from Skye and started fidgeting. "I..I.. I might have done something... something.." Skye's attention is now on me fully. She rose to her feet and moved closer to me as she said, "And what is that something?"
"It's not that I wanted for it to happen.. It was just unintentional.. It was.. Umm.. An accident perhaps?" Skye nodded, her eyes still locked with mine. I can't say it! It won't come out of my mouth! My mouth suddenly became stitched.
How can I possibly tell her that I am falling, like for real, falling for Carroll just like what she had stated?
Why does what everyone says is always right? Or most of the time.. They're accurate!? It's infuriating!!!! Argh! I fucking hate myself.
"Imighthavedonesomethingbutitsnotwrong... And also.. Idontknowifitsright.. But.. Haha,.. You'recorrectaboutmelikingCarroll.." That's the first time I've spoken so fast in my life, that even I didn't understand what I just said. Skye gave me a puzzled and annoyed look before yelling, "What?!" Her voice held confusion and annoyance.
"I said.." I started before swallowing the invisible lump in my throat. "I was saying..." I trailed off, the words still not coming out straight like how I wanted it to be. Nothing straight comes out of this mouth.
"You were saying..?" She repeated. I sighed again.. This is it Melissa, you're just going to confess something to your dearest best friend and then it will all be fine..
"I.. I think.."
"You think...?"
"I.."
"You?"
"Skye! Stop repeating every word I say!"
"Okay.. Sorry, go on.."
I took a deep breath.
"I... I.. I L-LIKE CARROLL!"
I immediately shut my eyes and clenched my fists after I spoke my feelings out aloud. I looked at the ground, cringing at the deafening silence that is starting to fill my ears. I turned my head up, only to see Skye already staring at me, this time without a goofy grin on her face.
It was just her face. Expressionless.
"Okay I know that we made a deal, that I don't know what made me agree onto it, but I can't act on it! I'm sorry..!" I yelled out in frustration. My hair being entangled with my fingers before I jumped onto my fluffy, comforting bed.
"I can't act on it.. I hate myself!" I chanted. I felt my throat hurting from muffling my sobs. If this is how it feels like to like someone, then no thank you, I'd rather not..
"Melissa.." Skye cooed as I buried my head in my hands. I'm crying, oh my fucking god. Am I really crying? Being the Skylar Sullivan she is, she'd probably be going to tease me until my cheeks couldn't turn into a deep shade of red anymore.
I felt an arm wrapped around me. What this girl said next is actually.. not surprising.
"I know dear, I know.." I removed my hands from my face and looked at her. "W-what?"
"I've known since you moved into my house.." Now this is surprising. I let my hands rest on my sides as I stared at Skye. I was looking at her like how a student does at algebraic equations. "H-how?" I questioned my voice breaking, probably because of crying.
"Melissa.. I may be an idiot but I'm not dumb, you silly.. I've had suspicions.. Then we went to that flower shop.. So I was right.." I just nuzzled my face into Skye's neck before I finally let my muffled sobs go.
"What... are you.... going to... do with...... The..... deal?" I mumbled between sobs. I can't even understand what I just said so Skye might as well not. "Let's forget about the deal.." She stated and I couldn't be more relieved in my life.
I felt her massaging my scalp as she started humming out a song. A song that she knows makes me emotional.
"Tell her the honest truth.. You treat her better make sure you say it true.. Don't be just everything she wants, be everything she needs... Give her a reason, reason to love all you too..
She'll tell you secrets, you'll tell her secrets too.. She'll tell you all her hopes and dreams, you'll tell them too..Tell her you love her too.. But don't you run away when you get tired.. Cause this will slip away and start a fire, oh that cannot be put out..
Oh hurry time is running out..
She says she needs you, tell her you need her too.. You tell her clearly, speak what your heart wants you to..."
I really love that song.. Brings me to other universe...but unfortunately I cannot bring myself to do any of what it states. It's just impossible.
I wiped off my tears, pulling myself away from her. "But I can't Skye.." I said as Skye looked at me skeptically. "Yes you can.." I know what her intention is, to push me to where my heart wants to be, but I really can't. I stood up. "I really can't Skye.. I'm sorry.." I went to carry my bag that Skye has prepared for me.
"Why can't you?" I turned around to face her. "Because she's straight! Can't you see that or are you dumb?!" I snapped making her flinch. Looks like she's going to drop this, so I returned to what I was doing and slipped in some books. I wouldn't want talk to Carroll in there, would I?
"Yes you can idiot." She quipped. "You can tell her you love her, but you just don't want to.." She insisted. I felt tears threatening to be shed again. Why am I such a crybaby?! Why am I crying over a girl!!?
"Because you're afraid of what she will-"
"I don't want to ruin her life!" I shrieked. I heard her gasp. I am surprised too, I haven't been this emotional ever in my life and Skye knows that. Even though my mom beats me, I've never shown so much emotions or vulnerability whenever I tell my best friend about it.
"Okay.. Drop the deal, I'll just.. I won't push this further, but.." She trailed off. What she said next was the right thing to do. "You have to think about this matter thoroughly, okay?" Skye requested in a manner that seemed like a warning. I just nodded, not wanting to continue any more of this before we left my room.
It's either I think this thoroughly and try to win Carroll's heart, or think this thoroughly and just let Carroll go. Everything's still confusing but I think I'll manage somehow.
*
"Hey Melissa, we missed you!!" I hugged aunt Melanie and uncle Vittorio. I haven't seen them for what felt like a century! "Hey auntie, uncle.. I missed you too! I'm sorry if I'm not able to see you often, it has been a hectic week.." I said as we let go of each other.
"Awww little girl, it's alright.. We understand!" Uncle Vittorio smiled. "We're still glad because you two are still hanging out, as always.. Like sisters.." Aunt Melanie pinched our noses causing the both of us to whimper. "You're the sister Skylar never had.." Uncle said with a melancholic tone and a sad smile plastered on his lips.
"Aww.."
"Aww mom!" Skye and I both whimpered at the same time. "Duh Mels, let's go get my clothes upstairs.." Skye groaned as she grabbed my hand to go upstairs with her. Only to be pulled back by aunt Melanie. "Not so fast Skylar, where you going?" She queried. "Going? Without asking for our permission?" Uncle added while crossing his arms.
Skye groaned before answering, "sleepover at our friend.." Auntie nodded together with uncle as Skye rolled her eyes. "Well can we go upstairs now?" Skye questioned. "You go daughter, we need to talk to Melissa..." Skye nodded then went up to her room without me.
They told me to sit on the couch so we can talk properly. Their faces turned serious, and it's making me nervous. Could it possibly be...?
"Melissa.. Dear.." Aunt Melanie started not really knowing where to start. "We've made a move on arresting your mother.." I knew it, it's about mom. I nodde, waiting for them to continue. All I can do is to pray that it is a good news and that they're going to say that the authority have caught her and we're all safe.
"We've already filed cases against her.. And the police are already searching for her.." Uncle said. Some weight on my shoulders was thankfully off them now..
I breathed a sigh of relief. "So everything's good now uncle, auntie I guess?" I questioned as they exchanged glances. Something's telling me it's not.. Something is telling me that everything is still fucked up. "Not really... Because Patricia is missing, she's nowhere to be seen.." I think my jaw would've made a noise if possible.
I continuously shook my head. It can't be, it can't be, it can't be! I'm not safe if she's still out there lurking in the shadows.. The people around me wouldn't be safe also, she won't hesitate to hurt anyone who's in her way.
"Are you okay Melissa??" I heard Skye ask. I nodded as my response, even though I am not but I have to be. "Okay, I'll be more careful.. Be careful too auntie, uncle.. She's crazy.." I told them as uncle patted my shoulder. "She will not hesitate to hurt anyone that is on her way, especially you.. Now that she has seen you Aunt Melanie, you will have to be more careful.." I added, making aunt Melanie nod.
"We will be careful.. We will just fill you in as soon as the police have found her, okay?" Auntie stated and all I could do was hope for the best.
"Thanks auntie," I gave her a short hug, moving onto uncle Vittorio after her. "Thanks uncle.. We will be going now.." We waved at them as Skye and me went to the door.
"See ya later!!"
"Was that about Patricia?" Skye questioned as soon as we've entered the car. I couldn't speak, all I could do was nod. I heard her sigh heavily before she started the car.
"Melissa, you have to stick with me 24/7 every time we're outside.. Cause I can give that madwoman a hard kick to her face.." We both chuckled, but I really wasn't sure if Skye would be able to defend the both of us.
Mom is not dumb, not too poor either.. Ugh, these thoughts are not helping. I just shook these stupid thoughts off. They're not helping with my situation. All fucked up.
But at least I got to spend two days and two nights with Carroll, right? Ohhhh, should I even be happy with that?
******
(Thanks for reading!)
By the way the title of that song is tell her you love her by echosmith.
And darn it, I'm sorry for the very lateeeee update! I've been busy with school work but I'll do my best to update as soon as I can..
Forgive me!!
Again, a very much thank you for reading!
I was planning on holding this story, but thanks to you riesgremory13, my sincere reader, you gave me inspiration to continue the story!