"Goodness, that sounds like quite a predicament." When she finished cleaning the table, Sherry took out a handkerchief to wipe her hands.
"Not to worry though, we have many books that I think will surely interest you two. It is marvellous that you children have developed an interesting in reading! In my opinion, books are the most precious treasures that one can own."
Her voice was wistful as she went on, "The world of fiction is particularly fascinating do you not agree?"
Desmia beamed. "I agree! Books are so amazing! I'm super glad that Uncle Kale got us into reading!"
Sherry turned to Kale whilst still wiping her hands with a warm gaze causing the latter to look away bashfully.
At this display, Desmia turned her head to the side and smirked. With that it seems like not only does Kale enjoy reading just as much as her, he's also great with kids. Plus ten points for eligibility! Fulfilling our objectives is simply too easy for someone as capable as myself.
As determined by Desmia, Saffron, and Tarragon, the acknowledged shrewd members of the household, there were a few interrelated objectives that needed to be achieved if they wanted to help Kale capture Sherry's heart.
Firstly, it was critical for them to figure out how Sherry currently felt about Kale. What sort of position did he occupy in her heart, if any? Did she see him as a potential suitor or a friend she sometimes met? Depending on how she felt, the approach they'd take would be different.
Beyond that they had to learn more about Sherry as a person as well. Kale was able inform them of everything he knew but they couldn't be satisfied with only that much. Everything from Sherry's preferred dressing style to her life goals and aspirations needed to carefully researched. From this, they'd be able to ascertain the traits that Sherry would want in an ideal life partner and tailor Kale into that ideal.
Even if they should discover that in fact Sherry was already enamoured of Kale, it still wouldn't hurt to have this information as they could always help Kale become even more attractive in his true love's eyes. Feelings were boundless and as such, they could always deepen.
When Sherry had finished wiping her hands thoroughly, she neatly folded up her handkerchief into a perfect rectangle and slipped it into her pocket. "Would I be correct to assume that you would be looking for more hero stories today?"
"Yeah! Heroes are the best!" exclaimed Desmia. "Right, Ferris?"
Ferris expressed his agreement with a nod.
After tucking in her chair, Sherry stood up and indicated for the three of them to follow her to the bookshelf that was the closest to them.
As she spoke, Sherry habitually straightened out the spines of the books. "I believe the books that you are searching for will likely be found on this shelf as this is where we house our books for children. Within this collection are many storybooks that feature heroes, dragons, princesses, knights and the like."
She directed their attention to the bottom three rows of books. "If you take a look on the lower shelves, you will find quite a few storybooks that harbour beautiful and vibrant illustrations."
Just as Sherry was about to offer her personal recommendations, the front door opened with a thunderous bang.
"Demi! Merlot! Little Sherry! Is anyone in?" Typical of an elderly man, the newly entered customer's voice was adenoidal and louder than necessary.
Sherry stepped out from behind the row of bookshelves and revealed herself. "Grandpa Chenin, welcome. It is nice to see you again."
"Little Sherry!" Grandpa Chenin sighed with relief. "Thank heavens you're here! There's been an emergency and you have to help me!"
"I will be with you in just a moment, Grandpa Chenin. Kale is here with his nephews and I am in the midst of helping them find some books."
In succession, Kale, Desmia, and Ferris popped out behind the bookshelves and waved.
"Long time no see, gramps!" greeted Kale amicably. "How have you been lately?"
Like Kale, Chenin Bartlett too was a regular visitor to Deshemer's Books and as a result, the two were fairly well-acquainted.
"Not good, Little Kale! I haven't been good at all!" Grandpa Chenin emphasized as he briskly marched towards them.
"My wife's going to be home soon and if that old bat finds out that I accidentally spilt tea all over her favorite collection of poetry books she'll toss me into the streets for sure! That's why I need Little Sherry here–" he said as he wildly gestured towards Sherry, "–to help me find replacements before that small-hearted woman returns!"
Hearing this, Sherry turned to Desmia and the others with an apologetic countenance. With a lowered voice she asked, "Would you all mind if I assisted Grandpa Chenin with his request first? It would appear that his situation is rather time sensitive."
"No, we don't mind at all, big sister Sherry," answered Desmia tactfully.
"Yes, it's true. We're not in a hurry so please help Grandpa Chenin first." In a more muted voice, Kale added, "Him and Granny Callery don't need any more reasons to squabble."
It was common knowledge among the locals of Elkan that despite their evidently deep feelings for one another, the aged Bartlett couple whom ran the cozy Cottonseed Inn on the south side of town spent most of their days getting worked up over contretemps.
"Thank you so much for understanding. As you know, the books are all organized alphabetically by the author's last names but if you have trouble finding anything please do not hesitate to let me know. If you do not find anything that interests you on this shelf, there are a few more books about heroes on the other shelves so feel free to have a look around the store." The former half of Sherry's comment was directed to Kale and the latter half of the comment was directed to all three of them.
After they expressed their thanks for her assistance thus far, Sherry was dragged away by an anxious Grandpa Chenin.
When the two were a considerable distance away from them, Desmia speedily removed a few books from the shelf in front of them to create a small gap for peeping.
Ferris spent a few seconds observing her dubious actions before he decided to copy her.
From behind them Kale whispered, "What are you doing, young mistress?"
"Shh! Keep quiet," she whispered back. "I'm trying to gather precious intel here."
"On whom?" Kale blankly inquired. "Grandpa Chenin?"
"No, dummy. I'm clearly gathering intel on Sherry. That's why we're here, isn't it?" Desmia turned her head to stare at Kale with a straight face. "Unless it's actually Grandpa Chenin that's the target of your wildly repressed desires?"
"Young mistress!" cried out Kale softly. "It isn't like that, okay? R-r-r-repressed desires or whatnot, I really really really really really don't have them!"
Desmia raised an eyebrow. "Really? You don't have any desire towards her? Do you think she has an unattractive appearance or something?"
Kale furiously shook his head. "Of course not! In my eyes, Sherry's the most beautiful lady in the whole world!"
"You think she's beautiful but you possess no desire towards her?" She snorted lightly. "What sort of nonsense are you even sprouting, Kale? Fondness and intimacy without desire and passion is merely familial love. Are you telling me you actually love Sherry the way you'd love a sister?"
Her preposterous words made Kale become so aghast that he didn't even stop to question how a seven year old girl, even if she was a self-proclaimed prodigy, could succinctly articulate the difference between familial and romantic love. "Do you really think I'd want to wed my sister, young mistress?!
Desmia shrugged. "I don't know. Do you? I mean you irrational humans are into some pretty strange things so I wouldn't be surprised if you did—only judgmental and disapproving."
"I don't see Sherry as a sister!" replied Kale emphatically. "And if I did, I wouldn't want to wed her!"
"Then, just so we're clear," began Desmia slowly, "you're saying you love Sherry romantically?"
"Undoubtedly!"
"That's to say you want to pursue a physical and emotional connection with her, correct?"
"Yes!"
"And you want to do all sorts of unmentionable nighttime activities with her? Until she's rendered incapable of getting up the next morning?"
"Yes!"
An unbearably smug grin spread across Desmia's face. "Well, well, well, I knew you weren't just a wooden puppet empty of earthly yearnings."
When Kale belatedly realized what his cheeky young mistress had unknowingly baited him to admit, he was mortified enough to die.
Instantly, his entire face was dyed as red as someone whom had been submerged in a hot spring for over an hour while the strength in his knees vanished.
As she watched Kale's large and robust figure become hunched over on the ground in shame–with his hands over his face like a pure-hearted young maiden who had just been bullied–the mean-spirited Desmia cackled gleefully.
Then, remembering that they had to be quiet she cleared her throat a few times before settling down.
"Honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed about, Kale. Feeling that way about the woman you love is normal," she unconcernedly stated. "Besides it'd be much stranger if you didn't feel such urges at your advanced age."
With only the top of his head visible, Kale weakly pleaded, "...Please stop teasing me already, young mistress."
"Alright, alright, you hopeless fellow," she chided. "I'll stop but you need to stop referring to me as young mistress too, got it? We're undercover, remember? Undercover."
"As you wish..."
Satisfied with his reaction, Desmia went back to her initial hiding place to resume her peeping activities.
A short while later Desmia felt a soft tug on her sleeve.
Desmia looked down at the tiny and pale hand wrapped around a section of her cheap cotton shirt. Why has this already annoying little bastard settled on this cutesy and childish method of getting my attention each time?
Her expression soured. I really have to put an end to this kind of thing. Otherwise, this pint-sized idiot will disgustingly continue to delude himself into thinking that we have an amicable relationship when we have NOTHING of the sort!
With that in mind, in the same way that someone might have brushed off an unwanted piece of lint from their clothes, Desmia callously brushed off the hand that had been on her sleeve. "If you have something to say, just say it, little bastard. I won't permit you to randomly cling onto me."
Ferris stared at her sleeve regretfully but still acquiesced.
"So what do you want?" she questioned flatly.
"Big sister...what are repressed sires and earthly earnings?"
Desmia flinched. "What?"
"Repressed sires and...and earthly earnings," the younger boy repeated, "That's what you said earlier...right?...I heard you."
"That-That-That's something children don't need to know to answer to!" Desmia was so flustered that she did not even realize that the younger boy had mistakenly said "sires" instead of "desires" and "earnings" instead of "yearnings."
It had to be noted that Desmia's current stagy demeanor was a complete reversal to her demeanor when she had been baiting Kale.
It was one thing for her to tease Kale about ideas of love, lust, and marriage, but to have a serious discussion about them with her greatest nemesis? She'd rather stab herself in the leg!
Had the poor victimized Kale been paying attention to her predicament, he would've expressed that this surely had to have been the young mistress' karmic retribution.
Meanwhile, not understanding why he had been rebuked, Ferris pursed his lips. Clearly, big sister Marysol whom was only one year older than him was a child too but she still knew what these so-called "repressed sires" and "earthly earnings" were. It didn't seem fair but Ferris wasn't one to rebel and thus he eventually proceeded to ask a follow-up question. "Then...then how about nighttime activities?...What are those?"
"T-they're-they're-they're obviously activities you do at night! Obviously!"
"Like?"
Staring into the young boy's big round eyes filled with nothing more than innocuous curiosity, she hesitated for a split second before spitting out, "Like reading bedtime stories!"
As they were standing in the middle of a bookstore, it wasn't difficult to guess what had inspired Desmia's answer.
"Oh." Ferris took a moment to ponder over this answer before his lips settled into a lovable smile. "It's amazing that big sister Marysol knows so much...as I thought...big sister really is the smartest!"
Desmia averted her eyes somewhat guiltily but her voice still held conceit. "Of course! That's an indisputable fact but enough of that. We've wasted enough time."
After abruptly changing the subject she pointed to a random bookshelf. "Go over there and find some fun looking books so that when Sherry comes back it'll look like we were actually browsing."
She craned her neck towards Kale. "That means you too, uncle. Don't forget whom we came all this way for."
Both the obedient Ferris and the finally revived Kale followed her instructions.
As for Desmia, she spied for a few minutes longer before she too went on to look around the bookstore.
During this time, Desmia made note of many things about the store until she eventually spied a small square on the ceiling with a wooden frame around it. Hm? What's that?
Desmia dashed over to Kale and pointed to the square. "Hey, do you know what that is?"
Kale looked up the book he had in his hands to where she was pointing then answered, "Oh, that's the entrance to the attic."
"They have an attic here? What do they store in it?" queried Desmia with rapt attention. According to her own twisted logic, inconspicuous attics were only one or two places below hidden chambers on the list of "places most likely to contain traces of people's misdeeds should any exist."
"Just overstock that they can't put on the shelves down here."
"Really? That's it? There's nothing else up there?" The disappointment in her voice was palpable.
Kale shook his head after thinking about it again. "There shouldn't be."
Desmia impatiently grabbed him by the wrists. "Are you sure that's all that's stored there? How do you know that we wouldn't find evidence of treason in that very attic? Or a secret poison making lab? Or a stash of pilfered goods? Or at the very least, some records of tax evasion?"
The book in Kale's hand fell to the floor as stared at her with a horrified face. "What kind of people do you think Sherry and her family members are?!" How could someone whom was raised by loving and noble parents such as his young mistress entertain such wild and lowly speculations? How was her thirst for tantalizing revelations any different from the gossipy aunties at the marketplace?
"Well, can you prove beyond a reasonable doubt that those things aren't up there?" she challenged. "Have you ever seen it for yourself?"
"No, but I don't need to have been in their attic to know that the Amarones are good and honest people! Moreover, besides you, who in his or her right mind would have a secret poison making lab?"
Desmia scoffed. "Silly Kale, you can't insinuate that my workstation at home constitutes as a secret poison making lab. If I had really intended to keep it secret then you definitely wouldn't have known about it."
She paused then admitted as an afterthought, "I have to say though, I'm rather surprised that you believe that I only make poisons in there. You far underestimate the scope of my talents it seems."
"Why make poisons at all?!"
As he watched Desmia narrow her eyes condescendingly, as if she really couldn't believe that he was seriously asking her this, Kale was overtaken by frustration.
After reminding himself that he couldn't be disrespectful towards the young mistress and swallowing back his growing list of complaints, Kale finally said, "Alright, since you're so intrigued by it, when Sherry's done, we'll ask her if she'll let us into the attic. Does that sound good?"
Desmia rolled her eyes. "You make it sound as if that wasn't what I had intended to do from the start."
With a heart full of bitter feelings, Kale looked up at the ceiling. Why was his family's young mistress like this?!
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A short while later Sherry returned after sending Grandpa Chenin off with a tall stack of books to see Kale and Ferris each holding a book.
Loyal to his profession, Kale had chosen a story wherein a kind princess with the ability to control flowers saves the kingdom from a deadly plague.
When Desmia saw his book selection, she criticized it for being boring and unimaginative. In her opinion, finding the cure for a rare disease wasn't as interesting as creating a rare disease.
That being said, she still had to admit that his selection was still more interesting than Ferris' because the small boy had chosen a story about the everyday struggles of a rabbit trying to care for a patch of garden vegetables.
As she was a professional, Sherry only revealed a smile when she saw their book selections and commented that they had keen tastes.
In contrast, when she realized that Desmia had not chosen any book, she expressed concern. "Was there really not even a single book that moved you?"
"Actually, big sister," started Desmia, "there was one book that I thought might be amusing but I heard Uncle Kale say that there's more books in the attic. Do you think we could see those before I make my choice? Mommy said with our budget we're only allowed to get one book each."
Sherry's expression stiffened. "Ah, I am afraid that will not be possible. The attic serves as a storage place of sorts. It would not be appropriate to have customers up there."
"We don't mind!" chirped Desmia.
"Nor do we mean to cause trouble," added Kale hurriedly.
"Even so, I cannot grant you access to the attic," Sherry reiterated.
"Please, please, please, we wouldn't take very long," wheedled Desmia.
"Yes, it'd just be a quick look around," assured Kale. "Rhys is just curious as to how the inside of an attic looks. Since he's never seen one before. Because he-I mean both my nephews, cause I have two nephews, live in a place with no attic."
It took all of Desmia's resolve not to openly grimace as these words drifted into her ears. And there we have it. Act two of the tragedy entitled The Gardener Who Couldn't Lie to Save His Life starring Kale. It seems we've found the companion work to The Maid Who Was Clumsy at Everything Including Lying starring Brie.
Worried that he would inevitably expose them if they let him continue, Desmia eventually jumped in front of Sherry and asked with glistening eyes. "Are you worried that we'll make a mess, big sister Sherry? I promise we won't make a mess! Ferris and I are good boys!"
Ferris whom had been quietly following along nodded shyly. "We won't...we won't make...a mess."
After some hesitation Sherry revealed, "In fact, it is not that I am worried that you will make a mess, rather I am worried that the attic's too untidy to receive guests."
Desmia inclined her head. "The attic's too...untidy?"
"I am ashamed to say it is a space we seldom clean," confessed Sherry. "Frankly, the amount of dust that's up there could easily make someone ill."
"Is that so?" A slight edge could be detected in Desmia's voice; however, before anyone could call it into question, she let her shoulders fall limply and glumly continued with, "If that's true then there's nothing we can do about it. I'm sorry for making things difficult for you, big sister Sherry. I guess I should go get that other book then."
Kale's mouth fell open as he unknowingly drew back. It was not an overstatement to say that the shock he received from seeing their young mistress willingly concede and apologize with only a few lines of persuasion was substantial.
As Kale retreated, he accidentally collided with a small table causing it to become unsteady. This consequently forced a dozen books on top of the table to tumble down.
However, just before the last falling book could hit the ground, it was miraculously caught by Sherry's outstretched hands.
Immediately after this, Kale, Desmia and Ferris watched in frozen astonishment as Sherry whom had suddenly appeared like a terrifying apparition, gathered all the displaced books, dusted off each of them, unfolded the wrinkled pages, smoothed out every book's edges, placed the books back on the table, and neatly organized them in alphabetical order, in under three minutes.
It wasn't until the entire display had been completely restored that the three of them managed to regain their senses and Kale could profusely apologize for what he had done.
Knowing that he hadn't knocked over the books intentionally, Sherry whom had reverted back into her usual calm self generously accepted his apology.
Following this abrupt interlude, Desmia went to grab the book she had previously set aside.
To maintain her cute, childish, and hero-worshipping facade, she had deliberately chosen a story that featured a half-dragon half-human knight saving the world from a villainous 1000 year old demon.
In the end, because Sherry cut them a discount, they were able to purchase all three of their book selections.
As soon as they had left Deshemer's Books, the adoring smile that had been tacked on Desmia's face promptly disappeared.
"Well, dear uncle, I have good news and bad news for you," she began mirthlessly. "The good news is, as a result of everything's that transpired, I've been able to determine the character of Sherry Amarone. The bad news is, what I've determined is that her character is cunning and duplicitous. Sorry to say it, but the love of your life's a fraud."