° You know those times,
When you feel so small
When you do as you're told,
And you're being cautious °
Few months have passed by and everything is back to normal. Well, a normal without Mingyu but Wonwoo can live with that. He's sure of it now.
Wonwoo grew tired of dwelling over his tragic love. He realized that soon after, he'll have to move on and continue living. Mingyu and Wonwoo are not on speaking terms. Minghao would share news about Mingyu sometimes but try his best to forbid himself to doing so knowing that it will just bring back the memories for Wonwoo.
Wonwoo is okay now. No more breakdowns, no more what ifs and what could've beens. It's now just Wonwoo, a worker at 17Carat Bookstore who lives an ordinary life. In the course of moving on, he found a new hobby which is video editing. That's where Minghao decided to create a Youtube channel. Minghao would vlog and do dance contents while Wonwoo will edit it. It was a fun leisure time for Wonwoo knowing that he'll be more than willing to help out a friend.
Mingyu kept up with Minghao's daily upload. Sometimes, Wonwoo would pop out randomly and Mingyu will feel a smile coming to his face. It was as if Wonwoo was a switch. That's where he knew that Wonwoo is still working at 17Carat Bookstore. That's where he figured that Wonwoo is doing splendid without his presence.
At the 17th of May, Wonwoo was gradually taking a nap in between his shift because he stayed up trying to finish a new vlog. It was a Tuesday morning so the store is not filled with customers. There were just the early birds who dropped by the store to scan the new books. The speakers are playing a soft song, a vibe that the store has already accustomed to. Wonwoo couldn't help himself but to take a quick nap. He told Minghao to wake him up if ever there was a customer.
Wonwoo didn't notice the chime ringing and the footsteps heading towards him. He didn't notice the tall lean man shadowing over him as he took his nap. He didn't notice Mingyu was there until he heard a book being slammed on the counter.
"Minghao what the fu—" Wonwoo stopped in his tracks when he saw Mingyu with a hard bound book in his hand. To say Wonwoo was shocked is an understatement. For a year, he wasn't able to see the person he once loved. For a year, he didn't get to feel his presence at all. Why now?
"Was that you?" Wonwoo asked as he recovered from his state of shock. Mingyu just let out an embarrassed smile.
"I couldn't help it." Mingyu said lowering his head as to try to hide his embarrassment. Wonwoo let out a small chuckle.
He never changed, Wonwoo thought.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" Wonwoo asked politely. Mingyu hesitated for a bit but he walked towards Wonwoo.
"Can we talk for a bit? Have some coffee or something?" Mingyu asked cowardly but Wonwoo was still able to make the words out.
"Ugh, it's my shift at the moment so I kinda can't go yet."
"Minghao will fill in for you." Mingyu said as he faced Minghao who's busy arranging the books while eavesdropping their conversation.
"I will?" Minghao asked. Mingyu just gave him a look.
"I will!" Minghao said with a sudden realization of what's going on. "Go ahead Wonwoo, i'll handle things from here."
"Okay then, I guess." Confusion is written all over Wonwoo's face but he didn't bother asking. He has a lot up his sleeves, it's Kim Mingyu he's talking about after all.
They went to the coffee shop where they first went out. Where Wonwoo bought coffee for the younger. Wonwoo heaved out a sigh as he felt the memories coming back.
They ordered a drink and when Wonwoo was about to take out his wallet, Mingyu's card was already out.
"I'll pay this time." Mingyu assured with a smile. Wonwoo just let him be and excused himself to find a place to sit. Mingyu arrived after with a tray that has two iced coffee and a slice of carrot cake.
"So... What's up?" Wonwoo asked as he took a sip on his coffee.
"I'm finally graduating Wonwoo." Mingyu explained, earning a gasped from the other.
"Holy shit Mingyu! Congratulations!" Wonwoo exclaimed, completely surprised by the sudden news.
"I just wanted to tell you that myself." Mingyu whispered to himself but it was audible enough for Wonwoo to hear.
"Congrats Mingyu! All your hard work has finally paid off." Wonwoo said in complete awe. He doesn't know what to think or say. Hell, he's not even sure on how to react but if there's one thing he's sure of is that he is proud, extremely proud.
"Yeah, it was a relief to know that this is over but it's also just the beginning. There's still so much more to do for me to reach my goal." Mingyu shared.
"Yeah but baby steps are still steps. You'll get there someday. I'll wish you all the good luck in the world just for that to happen." Wonwoo replied. Mingyu almost choked on his drink when he heard Wonwoo say it.
'good luck', it was so long since he last heard it from Wonwoo. He just simply tried to shake off the thoughts.
"Graduation ceremony is next week and i'm hoping maybe you could come? Jun, Minghao, and Jihoon will be coming too." Mingyu invited.
If Wonwoo were to be honest, he's not sure at all of this. This was the reason they broke up. This consumed their relationship. Wonwoo is okay now and he doesn't want to ruin his now well sought life because of the his sudden appearance. Sitting in front of him already took so much courage for him. He wanted to hate Mingyu. Inviting him to his graduation is like rubbing it to his face that Mingyu was okay and he lived better without him. He broke up to focus on his studies and showing up on his graduation just further proves that he's right. That Wonwoo was once his distraction. Wonwoo couldn't handle having that pain again. Not after he spent countless nights crying on it already.
"I'll think about it Mingyu. Thank you for the invite." Wonwoo simply replied as he tried to hide the sadness he's feeling.
"I would really love to see you there." Mingyu smiled. It pained Wonwoo to see him that happy. He should be proud and he is, he's just unsure of what to feel right now.
"I'll have to go. Minghao might kill me if i'm not back anytime soon. Thank you for the coffee." Wonwoo said as he stood up. Mingyu stood up as well.
"Congratulations again Mingyu. I'm proud of you, really." Wonwoo left without anymore goodbyes, just a short remark. He walked back to the bookstore and headed to the staff area. He slouch by the seat and let out the heaviest sigh.
"He invited you?" Minghao asked as he entered the room. "There were literally no customers." Minghao added jokingly, pointing at the bookstore. He took a seat beside him.
"Will you go?" Minghao asked another. Wonwoo just looked at him and let out a frustrated groan.
"I don't know." Was all Wonwoo could reply.
"Just know that you're not pressured to go. If you're not okay yet then its fine. I'll break it to Mingyu so you wouldn't have to you know... Face him again." Minghao assured which helped Wonwoo a little.
"Thanks Hao." Wonwoo replied with a smile. He returned to his job before someone could catch them slacking off.
-Graduation Day-
"Wonwoo isn't here yet?" Mingyu asked as he approached his friends by the crowd to check on them for one last time.
"He'll come through." Minghao said with certainty, though he knew he wasn't so sure of it himself. Mingyu just let out a smile. He lead the three male towards their seat. He bid them goodbye before meeting his parents to fall in line for the graduation march. Minghao made sure to save an extra seat beside him, earning a few glares to those who are looking for a vacant seat.
Wonwoo came just when the graduation march started. He joined Minghao, Jun, and Jihoon as they wait for Mingyu to appear. Wonwoo came in a white shirt and light washed jeans paired with a red jacket and his converse that he just recently cleaned. He wished he wasn't underdress for the occasion.
After a few students, they finally caught Mingyu walking along with his parents. They clapped hard and cheered at them, even though they were a little far as they were seated at the second level of the large auditorium. However, they still made sure to cheer their hearts out for their friend. Once Mingyu reached his assigned place, the three also took a seat.
"Why are you late though?" Jihoon asked, shouting a little because of the loud music.
"I kind of hesitated at the last minute. I don't originally intend to come." Wonwoo explained. They just let it go and tried to focus on the graduation. It got boring for a while but the four males would get excited again everytime Mingyu will go up on the stage. First to receive his diploma and second is when he received a special award.
Wonwoo felt happiness surge through his heart as he witness Mingyu go up the stage and receive his long earned diploma. Minghao, Jun, and Jihoon were shouting random cheers but Wonwoo couldn't get himself to say or shout anything. All he could do was clap, because that's what Mingyu deserves; a genuine applause.
Their valedictorian gave a heartfelt speech but Wonwoo was too pre occupied to fully assess what the student was saying. He had his eyes fixated on Mingyu as he enjoyed his time with his friends.
Soon after, the students threw their graduation cap in the air and let out loud cheers as a sign of finally finishing medical school. The rest of the crowd clapped for the hardworking students. Jihoon excused himself as he received a text from Mingyu asking him to come down so he could snap photos for his family. The rest of the team waited outside to greet Mingyu.
Wonwoo had to go to the restroom so he excused himself and went back inside. Most of the students were already out and only a few were inside the auditorium, taking photos and saying their goodbyes. Once Wonwoo was done, he caught a glimpse of Mingyu letting Jihoon go first as he bid his friends Jeonghan, Jisoo, and Seokmin, as Wonwoo remembered, goodbye. Wonwoo opted to stay for a while, admiring the scene fold out and reminiscing the days when he graduated. It was a time for endings but also a good time for new beginnings. He could see so many saying their farewells but they know that this is just the start. A new journey awaits as they leave the door of this school.
"Wonwoo!" Mingyu called which took Wonwoo by surprise. He ran towards the older and greeted him with the biggest smile on his face.
"Glad you can make it! Were you waiting for me?" Mingyu asked.
"Oh I just went to the restroom. Minghao and the rest are waiting outside." Wonwoo answered as he pointed backwards (trying to refer as the outside but Wonwoo later figured that it doesn't make sense). They walk towards the door together by the back of the chairs but Mingyu stopped at the center and faced towards the stage. Only a few students stayed in the auditorium.
"Can you believe i'm leaving this place? After so many years." Mingyu mumbled as he kept his view on the stage he once dreamed to walk on.
"You deserve it Mingyu." Was all Wonwoo could say. He doesn't know how to comfort the younger. Mingyu grabbed Wonwoo's hand and pulled him towards the chair at the very back.
"I saw you clapping when I got my diploma. You don't seem to be as happy as the others." Mingyu said with a joking expression.
"Oh no, it's not what you think. I'm just so proud I lost all the words." Wonwoo tried to explain as he hated being misunderstood by the younger.
"I'm kidding Wonwoo. Loosen up." Mingyu smiled and Wonwoo just let out a small laugh.
"You know, graduations are known for the farewells and saying goodbye but it can also indicate new beginnings." Mingyu shared.
"Maybe this is where my life will actually start. I had all of college and medical school to get my shit together and I think i'm finally about to live life to the fullest now." Mingyu added.
"I'm happy for you Gyu. You finally had what you wanted and just as you said, this is just the start of something bigger." Wonwoo said. Mingyu smiled and hang his head low.
"Yeah, something bigger." He whispered to himself but Wonwoo heard it.
"Why did you invite me Mingyu? After not talking for a year, why all of the sudden?" Wonwoo asked. He just couldn't help it. With the ongoing mood and his confusion just getting bigger, he couldn't help asking the million dollar question.
"You were a part of my life Wonwoo. You were there at a certain point of my life. I just thought maybe it will be more special having you here." Mingyu answered, avoiding eye contact with Wonwoo.
"Soonyoung was a part of your life. Hansol too. Why me?" Wonwoo wasn't convinced. He wanted to hear something from Mingyu and he's not getting it.
"Because of new beginnings." Mingyu finally said after a second of silence, catching Wonwoo's gaze while he's at it. Wonwoo doesn't know what to feel.
"I'm finally over with this. I can start living fully now and I want you in it. You never left Wonwoo. I was hoping maybe we could start again? Go back to the way we used too." Mingyu explained.
"Are you kidding me? Don't you know what you made me feel? You think it's that easy? After everything, you suddenly pop out of nowhere, invite me to a special day of yours and ask me out once again?" Wonwoo questioned, disbelief evident in his tone.
"That's selfish of me, I know." Mingyu simply said.
"I was not supposed to go but I made a promise that i'll support you no matter what. Do you know what this makes me feel? It made me feel like breaking up with me was the best decision you did. You made it without me. It just shows that I was once your distraction. That you can manage to go through your exams and all without my goodlucks. It's like..." Wonwoo is looking for the right words to say.
"Rubbing it in my face that you never needed me and that breaking up with me was worth it. I mean look at you. Dressed in a graduation gown, life all figured out, and I wasn't even there the whole time. Now you're telling me you want me back?" Wonwoo isn't mad anymore. He's just sad and disappointed. Mingyu couldn't utter a word. Wonwoo took Mingyu's hand, something that he's been dying to touch for a while.
"I love you Mingyu, you know that but what you did really left a mark in me. I spent months hoping to get a message from you but I got nothing. For a while, I was doing okay. I can't let you shake up my world again knowing that at any moment, there will be a time where you won't need me again." Wonwoo explained as he look at the glossy eyes of Mingyu, trying to hold back his tears. Wonwoo let out a chuckle.
"Don't cry Mingyu or else i'll have to cry too. It's your graduation, you should be happy." Mingyu let out a sad laugh as Wonwoo wiped off a tear that dropped from his eyes.
"I never said sorry for what I did and I truly am. I'm sorry Wonwoo." Mingyu mustered up to say.
"I know Mingyu, I know and I forgive you." Wonwoo assured as he squeezed the hand of the younger.
"Can we atleast be friends? I really miss you Wonwoo. I know I fucked up with what I did and I don't have any excuse for that but maybe we can be friends atleast? It can be a graduation gift." Mingyu joked.
"Sure, we can do that." Wonwoo smiled. They stayed still for a while, Wonwoo let go of his hands and stared at the the front as the janitors clean up the mess. Soon after, they decided to head out as their friends are probably waiting.
"You know i'm still gonna try to persuade you into going out with me even if it takes a long time right?" Mingyu laughed lightly as he asked the question.
"I know Mingyu, you have all your life to prove me wrong." Wonwoo answered with a smile.
They met with their friends and snap photos together. They even got to congratulate Seokmin, Jeonghan and Jisoo. After a few teasing that Wonwoo and Mingyu are okay now, they decided to meet later that night at Mingyu's apartment to celebrate today's event.
Wonwoo walked home feeling lighter than he did before. He was glad to mend things with Mingyu, after a year of having no contact. He didn't expect to be friends with him again but maybe this is the sign that their relationship was not a tragedy after all. It just needs the right time and the right moment. Wonwoo doesn't get his hopes up. He just wanted his life to be normal again and normal had Mingyu in it, even just as acquaintances or friends. He felt everything went back to normal again.
Or so he thought.
-끝-