It has been said that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". I understand the sentiment behind the saying, but it's wrong.
I entered the building on a bet. I was strapped for cash and didn't buy into the old legends of the hotel to begin with, so fifty bucks was more than enough to get me do it.
It was simple. Just reach the top floor, the 45th floor, shine my flashlight from a window.
The hotel was old and broken, including the elevator, so that meant hiking up the stairs. So up the stairs I went.
As I reached each platform, I noted the old brass plaques displaying the floor numbers. 15, 16, 17, 18. I felt a little tired as I crept higher, but so far, no ghosts, no cannibals, no demons. Piece of cake.
I can't tell you how happy I was as I entered that last stretch of numbers. I joyfully counted them aloud at each platform. 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 44.
I stopped and looked back down the stairs. I must have miscounted, so I continued up. 44.
One more flight. 44.
And then down ten flights. 44.
Fifteen flights. 44.
And so it's been for as long as I can remember.
So really, insanity isn't doing something repeatedly and expecting different results. It's knowing that the results will never ever change; that each door leads to the same staircase, to the same number. It's realizing you no longer fall asleep. It's not knowing whether you've been running for days or weeks or years.
It's when the sobbing slowly turns into laughter.