"Oh my god you look so beautiful," Sarah squealed with excitement.
"You think so?" I asked her, feeling slightly unconfident. Sarah asked me to twirl around and so I did, at least I tried to. It's hard to move around with the gown. She's probably trying to make me feel more confident in my wedding gown. I still can't believe today is the reception.
"I know so. Layla your dress is perfect. You haven't even done your makeup, yet you like your ready to walk down the aisle," She said. "I am so happy for you... and my brother," She teared up, as she spoke.
"No don't cry," I said, while I walked to her. "I don't want to start crying to."
"I can't help it. Seeing you today just brings up a lot of memories," She said, and wiped away her tears with a tissue she was holding. "I pray for you a future together filled with lots and lots of joy and happiness. A little piece of advice, don't let days go by where you don't embrace each other. Having a laugh together, going to dinner dates once in a while or doing whatever you both love together, is one of the best parts of marriage. Don't ever take that for granted." A single tear drop rolled down her cheek, and she forced a smile.
"Thank you so much." I hugged her. Sarah has been there for me since the day we first met, she's family. She's my family. I couldn't help it, tears trickled down my cheeks. My marriage to Ahmed doesn't feel like a sham anymore, I am not faking my emotions — it sure doesn't feel like I am.
"Enough of this... this isn't supposed to be a sorrowful event. This day is meant to be a happy, cheerful day. With the bride smiling at all times, until her cheeks hurt and the groom complaining about the amount of pictures he has to pose in," Sarah said, and stopped hugging me.
"Now let's get you ready for makeup. We have only an hour left," Sarah said and helped me carry the tail of the gown.
"Okay," I walked towards the bed and sat. "Have you seen Imad?"
"Imad is with his uncles, along with Ahmed in the other suite. He is fine don't worry," Sarah reassured me. "Now let me go and check if everything is going as planned and welcome the guests." I nodded my head, indicating an okay. "Once your done with your make up, I'll come get you. You will meet with Ahmed at the stairway, walk down the staircase together on the red carpet and straight into the hotel ballroom," Sarah briefed me for the hundredth time.
"Yes I got it," I told her.
"Don't forget, slow-deep breaths and smile. Take your time, don't rush."
"I won't," I said and started fidgeting with my fingers.
"I'll be right back," She said and left the room. I sat on the bed, patiently waiting for the makeup artist to walk in the room. Whenever I shut my eyes, to try and relax while taking in deep breaths — I begin to imagine walking down the aisle and something goes wrong. What if I trip, what if I smile the wrong way, what if I walk too fast... I am trying my best to not worry about it. It's just all overwhelming. The door opened, and the makeup artist walked in. I had to sit on the chair by the dressing table so she could start with my make up.
My phone started ringing in the midst of my makeover. The makeup artist gave me my phone, that was on the bed. It was Hudaa FaceTiming me, I answered it. And I see Hudaa eating popcorn, sitting on her couch in her living room. "Who are you? And what have you done to my best friend?" She spoke in a gleeful manner.
"Assalam alaykum," I greet her.
"Waalikum salam. I can't believe I am missing my best-friend's wedding. Layla you look gorgeous. Are you nervous? Don't be, okay. This is your special day, and Ahmed is one lucky guy. I hope he knows that," She said.
"Thank you. I am nervous mostly about walking down the aisle and everyone looking at me."
"You're the bride, they have to stare. Just focus on your breathing you'll be fine," She told me.
"I'll try," I said and smiled. "I really wish you were here."
"Me too. I am so proud of you Layla, just don't forget to send me pictures once your officially done with your makeup."
"I won't forget," I said.
"Love you! Bye, don't forget to smile." Hudaa waved.
"I won't forget. Love you too, bye." I smiled and I hang up. I tried so hard to not cry, tears just lingered on my eyelids. I am almost done with my makeup, all the makeup artist had to do was put highlighter and lipstick. When she was done, I looked myself in the mirror and I almost didn't recognize myself. I looked so...
"You look amazing," Sarah walked in the room, and complimented me. I simply smiled. "So are you ready?" She asked and stood besides me. I looked at her through her reflection on the mirror.
"I don't know..."
"If it makes you feel any better. Ahmed is also nervous and hasn't said a word since he got ready."
"Maybe we could do this another day..."
"Haha," Sarah laughed. "No we can't do this another day. It has to be today," She said.
"Okay," I said and stood up from the chair. I took in a deep breath and breathed out. Bismillah ... I muttered. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. This is surreal, it feels like a dream. I am living a dream. Sarah pinned the veil on top of my hair updo. We walked out of the suite and walked into the elevator, Sarah helped me with the tail of the gown.
We stood in the elevator, waiting to reach the first floor.
"It's going to be okay," Sarah said in a low tone.
"Yeah..." When the elevator doors opened, my heart stopped for a second. This is actually happening, I could now feel my pulse throbbing in my temples. I walked out the elevator and with each step I took, my heart beat faster. You can do this Layla. Deep breaths — I kept on repeating to myself. When I reached the staircase, Sarah started fixing the tail of my gown putting it in place.
"Ahmed should be here," Sarah said, sounding frantic. " Let me call him." You can do this.
Bing, the elevator door opens and instantly I smelt a strong-pleasant musk. I didn't turn to look behind, I stayed still. Very still, trying to not freak out and do something embarrassing. "There you are," Sarah said.
"Sorry I am late," Ahmed said.
"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to your bride," Sarah replied. I still didn't look back. I looked at the staircase, and started thinking of how I was going to get down without tripping in my heels, while in a puffy gown. I felt a sudden warmth besides me. It was Ahmed for sure, the musk made it easier to distinguish him. Though he didn't say anything, but I was certain he was staring at me and with that in mind my cheeks flushed. I became shy... extremely shy. I shifted my gaze, and looked down at my gown. Sarah then came and stood in front of us. "I forgot the bouquet," She said and ran. "I'll be right back."
All there was, was silence. I didn't say anything neither did he. I haven't even glanced at him, I tried my best to not look at him. This is foolish, I thought to myself. Where is bravery when you need it. Ahmed walked to stand in front of me, he took my hand and held it. "Sorry... I am a bit inarticulate today. It's just that I can't think of a way to let you know how stunning you look," he spoke in an ardent tone. My curiosity, my thoughts couldn't help it... I looked at him. Ahmed wore a white ghutra (headscarf), and black egal (rope band) that held it in place. He also wore a white thobe and with a black, with gold embroidery bisht (cloak worn over the thobe). Even his beard looks neater. We looked at each other, locking eyes... A lone tear traced down his cheek. He wept, tears streaming from his hazel eyes, silent sobs tearing from his throat, he didn't look away. He let go of my hand and wiped his tears. I then kept my hand on his chest, he also kept his hand on mine.
"Why are you crying?" I asked him.
"I am a lucky man, because I have you. Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason. You look like the rest of my life. I am glad you're my wife, being married to you is the best thing that has happened to me," he spoke.
"You are the last thing my heart expected. But the heart also knows when the search is over. So Ahmed Damari... grow old with me?" I said, still looking into his eyes.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied. Ahmed leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
"I am sorry I took so long," Sarah said, as she walked towards us. She handed me the bouquet, I held it. "Layla I'll be right behind you."
"Okay lets do this," I said, and looked at Sarah and then at Ahmed. Ahmed clasped my hand, interlacing our fingers. We walked down the stairs, with slow and careful steps. The hotel ballroom doors were wide open and we walked in together, a slow arabic song was playing. As we walked in, everyone stared. I remembered to smile, even though I felt like I was going to pass out. The air was cool, the decorations was wonderful. From the white chaise lounge on the stage, to the beautiful center pieces. Everything looked perfect. They were so many people, people I have never met. Not going to lie, I got nervous along the way. Stepping on the stage made my breathing rapid and shallow. Before we could even sit, the photographer started taking pictures. We were instructed to stand facing each other, Ahmed kissed me on the forehead. I looked the other way, away from the camera.
Many pictures were taken. Ahmed's relatives came up the stage and posed along with us. Imad stood in the middle of Ahmed and me, in most of the pictures. I suppose the thing that lessened my nerves, was that Ahmed didn't let go of my hand from the moment we entered the ballroom. It was easy, like a reminder that I am not alone, some sort of familiarity. After taking a million plus pictures, we were told to cut the cake, together. A seven tiered cake, it was tall and exquisite. Ahmed fed me piece. The photographer captured every moment she could get. After cutting the cake it was slow-dancing, on the dance floor.
The soft flow of music began, our gazed locked. Ahmed placed his hand on my back, my hand his shoulder and our free hands finally met. Together, we danced, Ahmed leading. Together we danced to the music, in sync. As the song progressed I felt relaxed, and a small smile formed on my lips. He was faultless. Ahmed guided me across the floor as if we were in a dream. He kept his eyes on me, yet still he knew exactly where to take me. Every moment, every move seemed to be planned in advanced. Nothing felt force.
"Ahmed," I spoke quietly. " Everyone is looking at us." He squeezed my hand slightly and smiled.
"Really," he chuckled softly. "I haven't noticed. Looking into your eyes has kept me occupied." That is when I decided to let go, let go of my worries. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. When the song stopped, I didn't notice until Ahmed started speaking. "I love you, don't forget."
"I won't," I replied. We walked back to the stage and sat on chaise lounge. Sarah handed me my bouquet and it was back to posing for pictures and smiling. So many ladies approached us (most of them wearing gold jewelry) and introduced themselves to me. I am not sure how many names I'll remember at the end of tonight.