Chapter Eleven
“When you fear a foe, fear crushes your strength; and this weakness gives strength to your opponents.”
—William Shakespeare
Kingdom of the DarkFae
“So tell me of your progress, dear boy,” Alderon spoke as he brushed the beautiful mane of the Kelpie stallion. The horse immediately grew still, afraid of the anger his response would provoke in his master. He gently brushed the side of his face against the green grass preparing himself for the wrath he was sure to face. He slowly raised his eyes to meet Alderon’s inquisitive gaze and then shook his head.
“You have nothing?” Alderon practically shouted.
The high-pitched sound of his master’s voice caused the horse to immediately draw back and suddenly change form. It was instantaneous, and yet it was magical. In a matter of seconds, he transformed from horse to man and immediately knelt before his impatient king.
Patrick drew in a deep breath and began speaking but knew to keep his head down. “I have spent my time there scouting the premises,” he said in a low voice.
“I know how important it is to go undetected, and I am merely trying to be cautious,” he continued hoping to soothe his master’s wrath.
“Although I appreciate your vigilance. There is a sense of urgency that you are obviously not comprehending,” Alderon replied in a harsh tone. “I sent you there because this is an important mission, not only to our people but more importantly to me!” He roared the last words.
The ground trembled at his fury.
“I understand the need to shift through undetected. However, I also want this matter resolved as quickly as possible,” Alderon said as his angered gaze penetrated the top of Patrick’s head. A black light came from Alderon’s eyes and moved toward Patrick. The beam stayed an inch away. Patrick had no idea how close he was to death.
“If you are incapable of finding her, I will have you immediately removed from this mission.”
Patrick looked up and faced the look of anger and disappointment in Alderon’s eyes, “My time there has not been entirely without result. I found him quite easily. I’m sure you know of his appeal. He has many followers… admirers.”
Alderon continued staring at Patrick in silence.
“Most of them are dimwitted and love struck. As of yet, not one of them sticks out. So, I need to be sure,” Patrick continued on, pleading. “I just need a bit more time, master. I will prevail, if you just give me some time.”
“You have no other option but to prevail.” He turned his back to him. “And the other matter we discussed? Did you get what I asked?”
“Yes, master! That was too easy. I stole it from her hairbrush while she was in gym class,” he said as he held out a long lock of blond hair.
Alderon snatched it out of his hands.
“Your daughter is very beautiful.”
D
It would always begin with a pulsing in my fingertips. They’d begin to throb, tingle, like shards of electricity emitting a frequency from my being, my soul, and in an instant I’d know that something was near. Be it Fae, dark or light, a passing soul, or something else.
I could sense a presence.
I sat in my room and stared pensively at the flames in the giant stone fireplace adjacent to my bed. In the first instant when the throbbing began I believed it was Brighid, and panic washed over me. What did she want to tell me about Caroline or my fate? My destiny? Was there another omen or warning coming my way? At this moment I could not bear another indecipherable code from the old seer.
I silently begged for mercy.
I knew I could not cower, but I still wished for a moment of peace.
The fire crackled loudly, and a log fell with a thud. I allowed myself to close my eyes and beckon what was coming.
“Devilyn…” a soft, seductive voice called out to me.
“Devilyn,” she called again as I felt a gentle breeze move through my hair like a lover’s touch. My body seemed to move back instinctively into the energy behind me.
“Come back to us.” The voice purred into my ear. Pleading, almost begging with need.
I tried to move away, but my body was suddenly paralyzed.
The only thing I could do was lift my palms up toward the ceiling and allow the energy to move in circles above mine, pulling the light from my core, playing with it as if my energy was an instrument. A feeling that was all too familiar.
“Feel me,” she said as she whipped the energy around, playing with the light. I could see the electrical field dance about my palm and move with lightning speed through my veins.
It took me a moment to focus and actually see her. I knew her from Alderon’s High Council. Her name was Katya, and I knew she had hopes to be my queen one day. I knew she had fancied herself in love with me from childhood. She was without a doubt a beautiful dark Fae, with eyes that glowed like amber stones from a heart shaped face. I did not know how she found me, but a part of me, the small part that understood longing and love, felt for her.
And I wished, even though I knew she was my enemy, to comfort her.
“You must go,” I gently told her.
“You can’t deny this,” she said against the wind as her face suddenly took shape in the flames
“But I can.”
“Devilyn, she is not one of us,” Katya said with longing as she drew closer.. “And you know she will die.”
My moment was gone. That was all it took and suddenly all feelings of goodwill vanished.
I stood up in fury and roared as my eyes lit up with pure ice.
“Get out! Before I destroy you forever!” Fire spewed out of my hands, and she retreated in fear into the fireplace, cowering from my anger.
I shook with rage and tried to control myself before the door burst open and Odin filled its frame. His face was perfectly composed, but I knew he was only here out of fear of what I could become. At that moment I knew how easy it was for me to switch.
To go to a place of darkness and rage.
And to never return.
“Devilyn.”
My name.
It was all he said. But in that single word I felt the censure, the fear, and most importantly the part that saved me, the love. The unconditional love he had for me even after I knew I failed him. Again.
I fell to my knees.
“Father.”
He was before me in an instant, lifting me up and directing me to my bed. There were no words to be said. He knew how great the temptation was for me. He knew that though Caroline was the greatest treasure, she was also the greatest burden for me to carry forever. Because within my need to keep her safe, within my heart and all that I felt for her, was my greatest flaw. For I knew just as Odin did, that I was unable to make clear judgments as my need to keep her safe always impeded them.
“Oh, child,” Odin said as he stared down at me.
“I keep failing you. I keep inviting the darkness in. And yet you are still here,” I said to him with great shame.
“And as I have told you, time and time again, you never fail me. How can I blame you for wanting to know who you were, where you came from?” he gently said as he smiled and continued.
“How can I blame you for wanting to know about your lineage? You are the chosen one. Blessed with Light and Dark, the one chosen to unite the kingdoms. I want you to know everything about your past.”
I closed my eyes and grimaced.
“Why would you ever want that?”
It wasn’t a question, just a statement of fact. I couldn’t understand why he’d ever want me to have a taste of what I once was. What if that single moment would change me forever?
Odin smiled into my face.
“You must know everything about both in order to succeed at this task. And when you are on your true path, you will know why you are there.”
I was quiet as I thought of his words.
“Now, go and bring her to me. I have been anxious to meet her all day.”
C
“I can’t believe you keep yawning,”
“Sorry,” I said as I moved the phone away from my mouth and took in another deep breath. “I’m just so tired, Teddy, and my night is only just beginning.”
I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes as we spoke.
“Are you working at the restaurant again?” Teddy asked curiously.
“Actually, no,” I replied as I stretched out. “I’m going to Devilyn Reilly’s house and not for the reasons you think.”
“I wasn’t thinking anything,” Teddy laughed.
“We’re trying to finish up our history assignment,” I replied. “He’s actually supposed to pick me up any minute.”
“Wow, you’re going to the Westmoreland mansion?” Teddy said in disbelief.
“I know. Can you believe it?” I can’t either, trust me, I thought. “We’re planning on having dinner with his grandfather as well.”
The mansion was a historical landmark and one of the many mysteries of Roanoke Island. Nestled by itself deep in the heart of the forest, miles and miles away from homes and businesses, it was surrounded in an air of secrecy. There was only one road in and one road out.
Rumor had it that the home had been in Devilyn’s family for centuries, passed down from generation to generation. It was said to be one of the most beautiful homes in Roanoke. But now that I thought about it, I really didn’t know anyone who had actually ever been there. That thought suddenly made me even more excited to see the place.
“Wow, you’re even meeting the family,” Teddy continued in a mocking tone.
“I’m surprised you haven’t been there yet, especially since you’ve been hanging out with Tatiana,” I said, intentionally ignoring his last sarcastic comment.
“Well, we’re not really hanging out that much anymore,” Teddy replied.
“What? Why?” I couldn’t believe it. The last time we had talked about her he was head over heels. How could that have changed overnight?
“I can’t believe I haven’t talked to you all week,” Teddy said just as surprised as I was. “She’s a nice girl and is a lot of fun, but she likes to have attention from everyone. And that’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes.”
“Did you not take a good look at her when you met her? She’s gorgeous! Of course she gets attention!”
Teddy was suspiciously silent.
“Is there something else?” I prodded.
“She’s not that...” he began, searching for the right words.
“What?” I was glad Teddy was telling me this story because suddenly I was wide-awake.
“Smart.”
Wow. So smarts really did matter. Here I was thinking my life would be doomed.
“And she’s high maintenance,” Teddy continued. “She always needs something.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “And that bothers you?”
“Well, yeah, since I compare her to you.”
“Thanks.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“I mean, Caroline, she literally took an hour to get ready in the gym bathroom after P.E.” Teddy seemed horrified by this. “When I asked her what took so long, she said she was making sure her outfit was perfect. You never do that. You couldn’t care less if you wear a brown paper bag to school.”
I started laughing. “Was that supposed to be a compliment or commentary on the clothes I wear to school?”
“You know what I mean,” Teddy said, clearly frustrated.
Truth be told, I was shocked that he even took the time to go out with Tatiana. She was beautiful, but she also seemed like the type that would eat him alive. But I had never questioned it because Teddy seemed so happy.
“Well, I hope you can make it work if you really like her,” I said loyally.
“Doubt it,” Teddy replied letting out a big laugh. “You can send her my regards, but I honestly don’t think it would matter. I’m sure she’s getting sick of me constantly asking her if she’s done her homework.”
I couldn’t stop the laughter.
“Well, if it doesn’t work out it’s her loss.” And it was. Who wouldn’t want to date Teddy? I looked over at the clock.
“I better go. He should be here any minute, and I think I need to wash my face with cold water so that I’ll wake up.”
“Try and have some fun.”
I almost laughed out loud. Fun. Didn’t seem possible considering the amount of knots I had in my stomach.
“We’ll talk tomorrow?”
“For sure,” Teddy replied. “Be safe. And call me if you need me to rescue you at any point.”
“I have you on speed dial.”
Just as I hung up the phone, the doorbell rang, which honestly startled me. I took in a deep breath before I got up to go answer it and was thankful my parents were not home and still at work. Famous barked at the door and ran downstairs and I followed him quickly. Even though I was tired I had to admit that deep down I was anxious to greet the person waiting on the other side.
“Sit,” I said to Famous before I opened the door. He did as he was told and wagged his tail when I opened it.
“Hi.”
“Hi Caroline.”
He stood in the doorway, leaning up against the wooden paneling, smiling sheepishly. His hands were casually resting in each pocket of his dark blue jeans. Wearing a navy blue and white dress shirt with a navy half-zip sweater over it and Converse low-top tennis shoes, he looked like he had jumped out of a catalogue for preppy men’s clothing.
He looked down at Famous.
“Is this who I think it is?” he asked as he bent down and reached out his hand. Famous jumped right into his arms, and Devilyn picked him up smiling.
“Yes, I’m so sorry! He never does that.” I watched in horror as Famous licked the side of his face. Devilyn didn’t seem to mind.
“It’s okay. He’s full of love.”
Or he’s in love, I thought as I watched my dog nestle cozily in Devilyn’s arms. I reached out to take him, but Famous didn’t seem to want to come.
“Go to Caroline,” Devilyn told him, and Famous did exactly as he was told. I took him in my arms and set him down. I could see the longing in his eyes to jump back into Devilyn’s arms. At least I’m not the only one, I thought.
“Would you like to come in?” I barely managed to say.
“Actually, I’m ready to go if you are,” he replied with a smile. “My grandfather is anxious to meet you.”
“He is?” I couldn’t keep the disbelief out of my voice as I turned to grab my coat. “Why?”
“Don’t sound so shocked,” he laughed as he grabbed my coat from my hands and helped me put it on.
Always the gentleman.
“I’ve actually told him a lot about you, so after hearing all of my stories he told me that he’s looking forward to meeting you in person.”
Stories? This couldn’t be good.
My mind immediately went to that dark place. He probably warned his poor grandfather about the idiot lovesick girl that would be gracing their poor family with her presence. This evening was sure to be another mortifying and regretful night. A common occurrence in my life these days.
“Shall we?” he asked as he reached out his hand. He looked down at Famous. “Be a good boy.”
Famous sat there smiling at him. I slowly shut the door and allowed him to lead me to his car.
He stopped and faced me when we reached the passenger side of the door.
“We don’t have a lot of visitors come to our home. My grandfather is a very private person,” he told me as if sensing my rising concern.
So why me? I thought slowly looking up at him.
“He likes to keep to himself, and since we were young he’s tried to teach us to guard our hearts and only let the right people in,” Devilyn explained.
“Guard your hearts?”
Devilyn laughed. “It sounds corny doesn’t it? I guess that was his way of saying choose your friends wisely. We’re born with our family, but we have the choice with our friends and partners in life. He was trying to tell us to be careful.”
“I like the part of choosing your friends wisely, but I kind of think that disappointments and heartbreaks make us stronger,” I answered softly.
Devilyn looked down at me for a moment and smiled.
“He watched my sister and I lose our parents at such a young age. We went through a lot of hard times. I guess it’s his way of protecting us.”
He walked around the car and got in as I contemplated his words.
“And he has very strong opinions about the women I date,” he said as he sat in the car and fastened his seat belt. He turned to me and smiled. “You can imagine why I never took Jordana to our home.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that crept up.
“So what do you think he wants for you?” I asked him.
I watched as a look of sadness came over Devilyn’s face.
“My grandfather believes in soul mates. In true love. Souls that find each other after an eternity of searching.” He continued on quietly. “He believes in a love that consumes you, that you can’t live without. A love that you wake up for. Long for. Are willing to die for.”
He whispered the last words. What would it be like to have Devilyn feel all those emotions for me? He didn’t realize how completely romantic and heartbreaking his words were at the same time. Little girls grow up dreaming of such a love and to have a man say what he just did as if he knew what it meant. I didn’t know why but I could feel tears begin to form in my eyes.
“Have you ever felt that?” I couldn’t stop the words.
He looked over at me.
“I’ll tell you another time.”
We were both quiet for a moment. I guessed that he had felt that way if he didn’t want to talk about it with me. For some reason it made me sad to think that he had.
“I’m finally starting to see how wise my grandfather is, and I realize that I’ve made some pretty juvenile mistakes when it comes to friends and more importantly, with girlfriends.” Devilyn cleared his throat and started the engine in his car as he turned out of my driveway.
“Well, I’m looking forward to meeting him,” I said trying very hard to ignore Devilyn’s last comment. “If he’s lived on the Island for as long as I think he has, he’ll probably be able to answer a lot of the questions that have been running through my mind.”
“He probably will.”
“What exactly did you say about me?” I blurted out, almost cursing myself for even wondering what it was that Devilyn had said to his grandfather. “I mean, I just want to make sure I don’t disappoint anyone.”
Devilyn smiled and began twisting his hands around his steering wheel.
“I told him about how remarkable you are, smart, kind-hearted, and beautiful.” He stared straight ahead, not once looking in my direction.
But I looked over.
Right away.
As soon as the words came out of his mouth.
I froze.
And couldn’t take my eyes off of his profile. My heart was pounding at the compliment I wasn’t prepared to hear.
I quickly looked away, relieved that he hadn’t looked over at me. If he had, he would have seen my mouth drop to the floor. He did it again. Said things that made my heart do somersaults.
“No comment?” Devilyn asked with a smile. I knew he could sense my nervousness.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said as I twitched uncomfortably with the metal spiral of my notebook. “Well, I mean, thank you for saying such sweet things about me. It’s very kind of you.”
“Kind of me?” he asked. I thought I could hear the humor in his voice.
“Well, yes,” I all but croaked out. When he didn’t respond I looked over at him. For a second I thought I saw stars in his eyes because everything there told me to believe him. That he meant what he said. But as usual something in my heart told me to be careful.
“I mean every word,” he said in a tone that I’d never heard before.
D
“I know,” she replied in a soft voice.
I wanted her to know that I wasn’t lying. I wanted her to believe that she meant something to me, that these hours we had spent together over the past few months were slowly beginning to chip away at the black metal surface that enclosed my heart. I wanted her to know that she was an inspiration and that despite the odds that faced us, I was holding on to hope. Hope that she would begin to trust me. Hope that I could guarantee her survival. And ultimately, hope that she would love me.
I wasn’t ready to face why I wanted her to feel that emotion for me quite yet. I just knew that I did. At this moment. In this time. With a ferocity that I had never known. I wanted her to love me.
She sat silently, occasionally fidgeting with her notebook and pen for the remainder of the ride. I knew that she was going over what I had said in her mind. I had told her she was beautiful before, but evidently she didn’t believe it.
She was. And she needed to know it.
Hear it. Until she believed it.
I wanted her to be as comfortable with me as I was with her. I wanted her to relax. I wanted her to say something.
Anything.
But she didn’t.
She finally looked up when we were far enough away from town and began surveying the surroundings. She glanced up at the road leading to Westmoreland as if she had never seen it before.
She had probably driven by it a million times but apparently had never paid close attention.
I wanted to take it all in. Watch her experience the feeling and transformation that all of the Fae undergo deep within the forest. Once we enter the lush trees, the transformation is immediate. Within us and in the forest we inhabit.
I could hear her breathing pattern calm and feel the stillness that overcame her. Not from nerves or uncertainty, but from a strange and unknowing familiarity. She looked over at me and couldn’t help but smile.
She didn’t need to say anything.
I knew.
And deep down, I knew that she did too.
Caroline was finally home.
A home that her mind may not have immediately recognized, but she undoubtedly felt a connection that was instantaneous and deep within her soul.
“It’s so beautiful.”
“I know.”
“So peaceful.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been on this road before,” Caroline said in awe. “I can’t believe how remarkable it is. The trees are so tall and lush and so green.”
They were.
What Caroline didn’t know was that they were magik trees. The most sacred of all Fae plant life. They protected its inhabitants, were full green and lush with beauty year around. They were old with wisdom, and if you spoke to them they would speak back to your soul.
“You’re so lucky to be surrounded by this beauty,” she continued as her eyes sparkled with joy.
She was right. I was lucky to be surrounded by such beauty. But I wasn’t thinking about the trees or the land.
“I’m finally beginning to fully appreciate it.”
Moments later, we came upon the large iron gates and entrance to the surrounding fortress that I had called home. She smiled at me as we both waited for the gates to open. The road leading to the house was a long and winding one. I drove through the orange and rust-colored leaves that lay on the ground and made my way to the circular driveway at the front.
Odin wasn’t waiting outside, as I knew he had wanted to. But I knew that he was most likely pacing back and forth in the grand foyer, barking out orders to anyone who would listen. Tonight he wanted everything to be perfect. He had tended to every detail, ensuring that she wouldn’t feel out of place, or worse yet unwelcome.
He wanted her to feel at home.
A feeling we both shared.
I knew she had never seen a place quite like ours before. To say that it was grand was an understatement. To call it a mansion would demean it. It should have been a historical monument. Treasured, protected, and worshipped.
Ironically similar to its new guest.
“Ready?”
She laughed and shook her head. “I guess.”
“He won’t bite. I promise.”
“I know that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m just a little overwhelmed by all of this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it.”
“Let’s go inside, and I’ll show you around.”
She opened the car door and waited for me to join her as we made our way up the stone stairs leading to the large wood and iron doors. I reached out and pushed open the doorknob and waited for her to enter.
Caroline walked at a snail’s pace and kept glancing behind herself to make sure I was following. I knew she was intimidated, and for some strange reason it was the last feeling I wanted her to have.
She had never lived like I had, and although I’m sure she was in awe by the sheer opulence of Odin’s home, I could also imagine how intimidating it probably was.
“Grandfather,” I called out, knowing that he was probably hiding nearby. “We’re here.”
“I’m in the study, son.” His deep voice echoed through the halls.
“Follow me,” I told Caroline.
She nodded and grasped the handle of her backpack as we walked down the long, wood-paneled hallway that led to his study. The room was my favorite. The bookshelves held every first edition ever made. Rich and deep crimson-colored Persian carpets covered the wood floors, while the musky scent of cigars lightly masked the room.
“Welcome,” Odin said as he rose from behind his desk. “I’ve been expecting you for a long time, my dear.”
I had hoped that he would have refrained from wearing his typical attire, as he was usually dressed like some type of sorcerer or wizard, and instead opt for more modern garb, but Odin was a creature of habit. There he stood with open arms, wearing gold-rimmed glasses and a deep silvery-gray velvet robe with silver patterns adorned throughout, waiting patiently to greet her properly.
“Hello sir,” she replied in a low voice as she reached out her hand to his. “My name is Caroline Ellis.”
“Caroline,” he said as he inspected her. I wondered what he was thinking. “Yes, yes I know. Such a pleasure. Devilyn hasn’t been able to stop talking about you since he started at his new school.”
She smiled graciously at him and gave me a questioning look.
“Please, have a seat,” he continued, pointing to the two large leather chairs that faced his expansive mahogany and gold-encrusted desk. “Devilyn, do join her. I’ve called for dinner so we have a few moments together before we dine.”
“You have an incredibly beautiful home. You have lovely things everywhere,” Caroline said as she started to nervously tug on the bottom of her sweater.
“Thank you. But it is not about our possessions but about a life well lived,” he replied, unable to wipe the grin off his face.
Odin was elated. I had never seen such a happy look on his face. His happiness defied words and human comprehension. It was in the way he looked at her, the way he couldn’t stop smiling, and the way he kept looking over at me as if to say, ‘See, I told you she’d be everything you wanted.’
“These books you have in here, have you actually read them all?” Caroline asked innocently as she glanced around the room.
“I believe I’ve read ninety percent of them. But I’m quite sure that Devilyn has read them all.” Odin smiled at me. “He is quite the avid reader.”
“My grandfather has the tendency of exaggerating sometimes,” I quickly interrupted him.
“Well Devilyn is really smart, so that doesn’t surprise me,” Caroline loyally replied.
“Who is your favorite author?” Odin asked as he rose and began walking toward the wooden bookshelves. He paced back and forth with his hands behind his waist as he waited for Caroline to reply.
“Mine has always been Milton. I have a special fondness for Paradise Lost. To think that he was blind and recited the work to his daughter is inspiring,” Odin told Caroline as she nodded in agreement.
“It is a special piece of literature. But my favorite author?” She smiled nervously. “I’ve never really thought about it before.”
She stood up and looked around the room. She started to scan the titles. “We’ve covered Bronte, HG Wells, Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Poe.”
“The Raven?” Odin asked quizzically.
“No, not so much.” She smiled and shook her head, “The title alone is frightening enough.”
“Poe was a beautiful soul. A very talented man.” Odin eyes lit up with laughter. “Romeo and Juliet? Always a crowd-pleaser. A favorite of the ladies.”
“Star-crossed lovers, the worst kind,” I interjected, suddenly feeling an aching similarity to the Shakespearean characters.
“It is better to have love and lost,” Caroline said as she turned in my direction.
“Than to have never loved at all,” Odin finished her sentence.
I looked at the two of them and nodded, but my heart couldn’t have disagreed more.
Sensing that this conversation may take a turn for the worst, Odin turned to Caroline and continued in his quest to learn more about the girl before him.
“Okay my dear, I’m not letting you off the hook so easy. Favorite book.”
She smiled at him in delight and continued to forge forward. “I guess my favorite book would have to be Tolstoy’s A Confession.”
“Aha, searching for the true meaning of life,” Odin said as he laughed and began climbing up one of the ladders that faced his many bookshelves.
“Every attempt to be morally good is met with scorn,” I replied, feeling a deep connection to the author.
“Perhaps in his world, but not in this one,” Odin replied understanding the deep meaning behind my words. Turning back to the ladder, Odin continued climbing and muttering, “Tolstoy, Tolstoy, here it is.” He reached up and pulled the old book from blew away the dust that had accumulated on it.
“I seem to have a copy of it right here. Yes, yes, despite all odds and opposition, it’s important to always be true to yourself.”
Caroline nodded and smiled excitedly and walked toward him.
“Do you mind if I look at it?” she asked as her eyes widened. She was like a kid in a candy store.
“Look at it? It’s yours to keep,” Odin told her with his arms extended, handing Caroline the priceless treasure.
“Oh no! I could never take this,” Caroline replied shaking her head.
“Devilyn and I insist,” he said as he looked over at me. “I won’t take no for an answer, and you’ll find, my dear, that I can be incredibly persuasive.”
Caroline still shook her head.
“No, it’s too precious and far too valuable.”
“Well then, it’s the perfect gift for you,” I replied.
C
I took in a deep breath.
There was nothing I could say.
No witty response.
I was silenced.
And confused.
I spent the better half of our time in the library stealing quick glances at him, and I was careful to do it only when he wasn’t looking. I was searching desperately for a trace of the person I had grown to know over the past few months. But that person wasn’t there anymore. In his place was someone entirely different.
Someone I didn’t recognize.
He had done so much since his arrival to make it known that he wasn’t interested in me. For a while I had actually thought he despised me. But now, he was being so nice, so complimentary. It was almost the opposite. Since the night at Jordana’s party something had changed. Almost like he was seeing me in a different way. On the bus ride to Plymouth I had allowed myself to hope and to believe that this beautiful man was starting to fall for me.
The doubt crept back when I saw him smile at something his grandfather said.
He was too good.
Too perfect.
Why would he want me?
I promised myself that no matter how embarrassing it would be, I would let him know on the drive home that we could be friends, but the innuendos had to stop. Even though I was incredibly flattered, I couldn’t go on receiving confusing messages from him or anyone else anymore.
I was happy with my decision and determined to confront him on the drive home and be done with it.
I slowly rubbed my fingers across the cover of the beautiful book. Turning to the charming and mysterious older man, I reached out and handed him the first edition of Leo Tolstoy’s A Confession, a book I had read over and over.
So few words, yet so much meaning.
“I am so flattered that you would want to give me such a treasure, but I can’t take this gift. It belongs here in your beautiful home.”
Devilyn’s grandfather stared deep into my eyes and smiled brightly. Although he was dressed like a king, and obviously lived like one, there was something so comforting and familiar about him. I felt a connection from the moment I entered their home. Well, if I was being honest, from the moment we turned down the road leading to it. It all felt strangely familiar.
Or maybe I was imagining things again.
“I learned in my younger days to never to argue with an intelligent and determined lady, so I respect the way you feel,” he told me seemingly saddened that I was returning his beautiful treasure. “But I would like to extend you another offer. You are welcome here at any time, on any day, and you are free to read any of the books in this library and in this house.”
“You may regret that,” I said to him with a smile. The thought of having free reign in the enormous library was beyond tempting. I could picture myself in the room for hours at a time; although no matter how tempting the offer was, I would never impose on the family in such a manner.
“Sir, forgive me, I do not mean to interrupt, but dinner is served,” the butler announced. I was surprised to see him in the room, as I hadn’t even heard him approach. It was as if he appeared out of thin air.
Dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and black bowtie, he fit the role of butler to perfection. I couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to live in such luxury—butlers, maids, chefs—it was shocking to know that anyone in Roanoke lived like this. I had so many questions running through my mind, none of which I would ever ask out loud.
I had to give Devilyn a lot of credit. Had it been anyone else, they certainly would have continually flaunted these excesses, but he was incredibly humble and unimposing.
We walked down the long wood-paneled corridor to their formal dining room. Devilyn’s grandfather, who walked in front of us, practically floated all the way down the hall. As soon as he reached the room, he turned and clapped his hands together.
“Perfection,” he said with a huge smile. “Dinner is my favorite meal of the day.”
When we reached the room, I could see why. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. A large crystal chandelier hung from the center of the wall, crystals hung from the light fixture, each one larger than my entire hand and sparkling like diamonds. The long wooden table was entirely adorned with the most decadent food I had ever set eyes on. A rainbow of colors mixed in a sea of tasty delights.
“Do you dine like this every night?” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice.
“We do,” Devilyn said to me with a shrug. “As he just said, my grandfather loves this meal in particular. He always says that we should start the day seeking satisfaction and end the day feeling satiated.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense,” I said then began to laugh at the notion that he actually enjoyed the meals he had shared with me. “I guess dinners at our diner must have been such a disappointment to you.”
He pulled out my chair for me, and as he went to push it in, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “They were my favorite.”
His scent washed over me. He was so handsome. I couldn’t stop the goosebumps I felt from the light touch of his breath caressing my neckline. He had a strange power over me. Whenever I was near him I wanted more. Something deeper. Something I didn’t even understand. I had to push the thoughts out of my head when I realized I was walking on a dangerous minefield again. It was like being on the outskirts of a spider’s web: one false move and I would be trapped.
But would that necessarily be such a bad thing? I thought as Devilyn took the seat beside me.
His grandfather sat at the head of the table and clapped his hands together. Again it was as if the help appeared out of nowhere. In an instant there were servers pouring our drinks into gilded crystal wine glasses and placing beautiful linen napkins in our laps. I was blown away by the opulence, stunned into silence actually, and not sure what I was supposed to do next.
“My dear, please help yourself,” his grandfather said to me as he pointed to various dishes that surrounded me.
I didn’t know what to try first.
“All of this looks too beautiful to touch,” I said to him. “Thank you for allowing me to enjoy this meal with you.”
“Speak nothing of it. It is our pleasure to have you here.” He smiled graciously at me as one of the servers poured him food from some of the numerous dishes.
He held my gaze for a second longer, and I knew I had seen him before. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it earlier in the evening, but the den had been so dark. Here, now sitting under the illuminated light of the chandelier, staring at his glittering eyes, I knew our paths had crossed before, only I couldn’t remember when or where.
I was really good with faces, but I couldn’t pinpoint where I had seen him. There was something about his knowing stare, something about his hearty laugh that made me feel safe, secure. I had to be losing my mind. I had never felt unsafe with my parents, but this was different.
“Devilyn tells me that you’re working on a History project together.” Thankfully he interrupted my thoughts. “Something about lineage?”
I nodded my head as I helped myself to a generous portion of the sautéed asparagus.
“Yes, we were given a really difficult assignment,” I said, not even trying to hide my frustration. “Well, I should rephrase that: it’s been difficult for me but simple for Devilyn.”
“Difficult, how?” his grandfather asked as he took a bite of his steak.
“Well, we were asked to put together a detailed family tree. And I honestly don’t know much about my ancestors,” I replied sincerely. “So, it’s been challenging to gather all of the information needed to complete the project.”
“You’re a smart girl. All you need to do is look at the beginning—you’re beginning to clarify—and when you understand that all the rest will start to fall into place.”. He picked up his glass of wine and took a sip.
“Forgive my grandfather and his cryptic way of speaking. He likes to do that sometimes and throw everyone off,” Devilyn said to me as he shook his head. “The beginning?”
“Caroline knows what I’m talking about,” he said to Devilyn.
I appreciated his faith in me. I thought I knew what he was talking about, but I wasn’t completely sure.
But it was fascinating to watch the two of them interact with each other. I had never seen Devilyn uncomfortable before, but it seemed that his grandfather could throw him off very easily.
“I think she should stay in the present and work her way back. That’s the logical approach,” Devilyn’s tone was almost threatening. Was I imagining this?
“Not always,” his grandfather returned as he pushed forward. “Anyone who’s lived on Roanoke really has no desire to live anywhere else. The families of this island go back for generations and generations. Beginning their lives and eventually ending them right here. It’s quite fascinating actually.”
He was right.
“Are you suggesting I start with The Lost Colony?” I blurted out as if a light had gone off in my head. Devilyn looked at me sharply.
“You know they disappeared.”
I felt cold when Devilyn said that.
“There was a passenger list. All their names are there on record for anyone to see.”
“They are not your beginning. They all died,” he insisted.
“How do you know?” I questioned. I was shocked at the coldness in Devilyn’s voice.
“It’s in the history books,” Devilyn said turning from me.
“They’re not always right. What if a few escaped and ran off?” I challenged him.
“Caroline—” Devilyn began.
“Maybe your parents will have the answers you need,” his grandfather interrupted us. He stared at Devilyn for a long moment then smiled at me.
“Parents always seem to know everything.”
“I’ve been meaning to interview them for this project, but they’ve been so tied up with their business,” I told him.
“Caroline’s parents own a lovely diner,” Devilyn explained.
“Well, I will have to stop by one of these days,” his grandfather said.
The thought of his grandfather coming to our restaurant was laughable. I could just see him there ordering the Monday night special. Talk about a fish out of water.
“You are always welcome; we’ll give you the best seat in the house,” I replied with a smile.
“I look forward to it,” he said as he raised his glass.
We continued to eat in silence. I was thankful for it because I got to enjoy the sheer splendor of the meal. Their chef was excellent. I imagined that they must have flown him over from Paris or Italy.
Devilyn’s grandfather suddenly rose and wiped his mouth with his linen napkin. He rubbed both of his hands together and pushed his chair back.
“Well now that I’m done with my meal, I’m going to leave you two alone to finish up. I’m sorry to leave so abruptly, but I have some work I need to complete in the study.”
I hadn’t even finished half my meal and he was already done with his. As he moved to leave the room, he turned and looked at me, “Do try the desserts; they’ve made some of my favorites.”
“I definitely will,” I said as I rose from my chair. “Thank you for everything. I’ve had an incredible time.”
“You are forever welcome,” he told me as he grasped my hand. He stared at me for a long moment. “You are a special young woman.”
I don’t know why but his compliment filled me warmth. I didn’t even know this man, and yet it touched me that he thought I was special.
He turned abruptly and left.
I sat back down and felt the mood change in the room. There was now no one left to guide our way through conversation. It was just the two of us again. I cut into my steak.
“Everything is so wonderful. I don’t think I’ve had this much to eat in a long time,” I said, trying to clear the silence with sound.
“I’m glad you like it,” he took a sip of his water. “My grandfather really likes you.”
“Well, I really liked him a lot. He seems like an incredible man. You’re lucky to have him in your life.”
“That is definitely an understatement.”
Silence again. This time Devilyn broke it.
“Once we’re done, we can study in my room if you’re comfortable?”
His room?
I knew it was every girl’s secret dream to spend time in the bedroom of their crush. A personal window into their life. To see how it’s decorated. To see where they sleep. Where they shower. What pictures they have up. But even though I was beyond curious, deep down I wasn’t too sure I wanted to have that access.
“Will your grandfather mind?” was all I could think of saying.
“We’re just going to be studying, Caroline.”
I could feel the blush creep up my face.
“Right.” I was such a juvenile. Of course that’s all we were going to do.
Even though I took my time eating every last piece of my dessert, it still went by in a flash. The next thing I knew, we were both walking up the winding staircase to his room.
And it was unlike anything I had ever seen.
D
It was the greatest feeling in the world to have her so close, in my home, and now in my room. I really didn’t want her to leave. I wanted to prolong the evening, make it last a lifetime, but I knew that wasn’t possible. So I tried very hard to enjoy every moment.
Caroline immediately walked in and put her backpack down next to my desk, and without hesitation went straight to the favorite part of my room. Right out the doors and onto the balcony. She stood there for a very long time staring out at the forest. I gave her the time she needed, as I leaned against the doors and watched her from behind.
Secretly wishing that I could come up from behind her and just hold her close.
But I couldn’t.
Not tonight, at least.
But soon.
Very soon.
“The view is incredible,” she said in awe.
“I know.” I didn’t take my eyes off her.
“Do you spend a lot of time out here?”
“I actually do. Every morning when I wake up, even in the cold, and every night before I go to bed.”
“I don’t think I could ever sleep if I had this view.” She turned and faced me as she ran her fingers against the balcony railing. “I love the trees and the forest. It’s kind of crazy considering that all scary movies end up with someone dying in the forest. The girl is always running out into the night through the trees all alone.”
“True,” I laughed.
“But I think it’s the most peaceful place. I actually feel very safe when I’m surrounded by the trees. Almost like they would protect me if I was being chased.”
“I’m sure they would.”
She turned again to take one last look and then faced me and moved back into my room.
“Everything tonight—your house, the food, your room even—it’s all been so incredible.”
“As my grandfather said, you’re welcome here any time.”
She smiled at me and looked down. I loved how she responded to even the slightest compliment. She was a contradiction, never backing down from a verbal argument with me, and yet shy when faced with praise or admiration.
“Maybe we should get some work done,” she laughed.
“We don’t have to; we can just sit out here for a little bit and enjoy the beautiful night, if you’d like.”
She hesitated for a moment and then, to my surprise, agreed. “I’ve been avoiding this assignment all year, so what’s another night of procrastination?”
“Let me get a blanket, we can sit out on it so you don’t get your clothes dirty.”
“Thanks Devilyn. That sounds great.” I loved it when she said my name.
I walked back into my room and pulled a large blanket out of my closet. When I reached the balcony again she was in her original spot, looking out at the trees.
I placed the blanket on the ground, went inside, and brought out a few pillows.
“If this is uncomfortable for you, I can bring some chairs,” I told her.
“No, this is great. Thanks so much,” she said as she slowly sat down and placed one of the pillows in her lap.
I took a seat next to her and began looking up at the stars. Maybe it was time to begin wishing on them. Hoping that my future would be as bright.
“You have a lot going for you. You’re really lucky,” she told me.
“I also have a lot of pressures—the kind that most people don’t have.”
“What kind of pressures?”
“My grandfather runs a very large company, and he hopes that one day soon, I will step in and take it over,” I lied trying to get her to grasp the magnitude of the weight I was carrying in life as well.
Even if I spoke in half-truths.
“Company?” She was in a state of utter disbelief. “But you’re still in high school; how can you run a company? I mean, I’m sure you’re capable of anything, but what about college?”
“I’m definitely going to go to college, that’s why I have to keep my grades up and play as best as I can on the field. I need to get into an ivy league, nothing less than that will suffice.”
I knew she would have a million questions because she was such an inquisitive person. And I knew that there were many answers I couldn’t give her. But for now, sitting here, side-by-side, together with the moon lighting up the sky, I had to continue. I wanted her to have some compassion for me, to understand that the reason for my sour attitude may have nothing to do with her. That so many extenuating circumstances contributed to my constant negativity. The pressure of leading a group of people, whether it be in a company, or in a country, or even in the depths of the forest was not easy.
The pressure of uniting two kingdoms.
Of fulfilling a prophecy.
It consumed me.
“There are a lot of people who are vying for my position in my grandfather’s company, hoping to prove to him that I’m not fit for the role,” I told her in a quiet voice.
“So you have to prove them all wrong,” she was staring at me, pushing me on. I knew she believed that I could do anything.
“I’m lucky because he has faith in me and supports me, but I want to be welcomed by everyone else as well.”
“It doesn’t matter if everyone likes you. But I know they will support you because I’ve seen you. And I think I know you. Kind of. And you’re that kind of guy.” Her words lifted me, and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more.
“What kind of guy?” I stared at her.
She shrugged. “The guy that everyone wants on their team. The guy that walks in a room and is automatically the leader. That kind of guy. That’s you.”
I was humbled by her words. Flattered and elated that she had that much faith in me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re so dedicated. To everything you do.”
“I have to be. There’s no room for error.”
Your life depends on it.
“I have faith in you,” she almost whispered as a gust of wind suddenly blew her hair in her mouth.
Before she could raise her hand I reached over and brushed it away from her cheek. I couldn’t stop myself from lingering and rubbing my hand across her chin. She was so soft and beautiful. I wanted so badly to pull her closer and kiss her. I wanted to taste her, hold her, and never let go.
But I didn’t want to do anything to ruin the evening or ruin the connection we had made tonight. There were so many reasons why I wanted her close.
But I had to be careful.
“It’s getting late,” I said, hating to be the one to end our evening. “I don’t want your parents to worry.”
“You’re right,” she replied. “I should probably go home.”
The drive home was a lot quieter than I imagined. We sat together silently listening to the radio. When she left my car and ran up to her front door I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Tonight had been a monumental and successful evening for me. I could sense that Caroline was finally beginning to trust me, and I was finally beginning to trust myself around her.
I had exercised self-control.
It had been hard, but I had gotten through it.
I knew that I was going to do everything in my power to change our course.
Surely I was worthy of happiness as well.