Anya's POV
The afternoon light peeked from the bathroom windows as I ran another stroke with the brush down my hair.. I seemed to had drifted out while staring in the mirror, somewhat analyzing my own reflection that had some kind of a different spark to it.. I tried studying myself, tried reading my own eyes whether it was exhaustion or perhaps worry that made me seem different..
It was neither. No, I wasn't even tired, let alone exhausted and at that point in my life I didn't have a reason to worry. I did, actually, of course I did, it wouldn't be my life if everything was in place and peaceful. But those worries were small, and they came and went at the late hours when I couldn't sleep and accidentally allowed myself to drown in my own anxious thoughts.
It was the sight of him, Ash, that calmed my deepest concerns.. At those late hours, I laid beside him, and even the darkest thoughts that dared to haunt my mind disappeared at the simple sight of him. His simple presence gave me peace, his warmth and scent calmed my soul, soothed me in ways that even dared a smile on my face..
All all that was needed was a glance at him, a simple feel of him near.. And even when that insomnia hit, I didn't allow those heavy thoughts to press down my chest, and so they weren't the reason for my sleeplessness.. Perhaps it was him, the thought of him, of what he meant to me, that made me lay awake for hours..
To think that I once feared commitment seemed foolish to me now. I had fallen for him— to be cliche and say that I was even head over heels for him— perhaps to the point of no return. I laid beside him and observed every little feature of his, analyzed and studied him whenever I had the chance to.. I suppose it was more the fact that I wanted to figure out myself than it was to analyze him.. To figure out what it was that made me so insatiable of him..
And where was I to start? Start explaining what turned me into a slave of this emotion of love.. His physique? Of course, that too. Ash was a tall man, a large one, of broad shoulders and solid muscle. Everything about him was dark and dangerous, cold and intimidating, and it was what irritated me the most when I first met him.. His confident posture and the arrogance in his words.
But then I learned there was so much more in him than a businessman and a man of grief.. So much more to him than the handsome boss that had every woman flatter her lashes and giggle in his presence. He payed little attention to many, to most actually, but to those he did, he gave them his all. And I became one of them.. One of the few people in his life that he allowed see his very soul. The only one, if not.
A slight knock on the doorframe took my attention.. The water was still running and filling the bathtub, muting his knock, but I heard it clearly and glanced towards the door just to see him leaned against the doorframe while he silently observed my actions. A smile curled my lips and I wasn't even aware of it.
"Need help with that?" His deep tone filled the marble bathroom in a way that gave me tingles straight through my stomach.. What a voice that was, having the power to effect me so immediately the way it did..
And I realized I wasn't exactly getting the very back of my hair while I brushed the front strands.. It had gotten long with time, but there simply had been too much going on for me to really pay attention to my hair.. Especially in the previous few days.
"Yes, please,"
And with that said, he crossed the space between us and approached me, taking the brush I handed him and preformed a slow stroke down my hair.. It seemed impossible to hide the smile that stretched my lips..
"It's these little things I love most about you." I found myself say, perhaps barely even conscious of my own words..
And there was much more to say, much more to confess.. I just feared that if I started confessing, I wouldn't be able to find my limit to stop. Especially when I felt the warmth of his breath somewhere near my shoulder.. It blurred my mind instantly.
"I constantly wish to take care of you," His deep mumble reminded me of those we shared in bed, and I felt shovers down my body.. "To kiss you, sooth you, bathe you," A smile stretched my lips when he left a slow kiss on my shoulder. "All you have to do is sit back and allow me." Oh and how I loved him for every little confession of his.. "I wouldn't mind earning some bonus points while doing that too.."
That sweet humor in hid voice dared a giggle to escape my throat, and to say the least, I wasn't the type that giggled.. Not ever. But Ash changed many things about me.. In such ways that I grew so close to him, I could barely imagine my life without him.
I looked back in the mirror and our gazes met for a second. He was focused on leaving a few more kisses on my shoulder, pushing my hair away and leaving another over my neck. I was melting in his arms.. My eyes threatened to close to the sensations of his lips.. But instead I spoke.
"Oh, well then," And turned to face him with a smile on my face.. "Join me,"
He knew very well to what exactly I was referring to. I was getting ready for a bath before he came in. The only thing I had over myself was my robe, while he on the other had way too many clothes for such an occasion. They had to go.
And so I ran my fingers up his chest, tracing the solidness of the mucked on his chest, the broadness of his shoulders.. A slight groan escaped his throat in such way that sent these pulsing tremors down my body. It was truly interesting to have this large powerful man weak at my touch.. So much that he took a hold of my wrists to stop my touch from going further.
"You constantly dare me, Anya," It was one confession of little awareness, his voice with a low husk as he leaned closer.. Enough for his lips to nip at my ear, his breath to sent tingles underneath my skin. "Do you think it's fair?"
I moved my hands away from his, somewhere lower till I felt the very edge of his shirt, and pulled enough to let him know that my suggestion was no joke.. Then when I knew he understood me well, I simply passed by him, playing with the tie of my robe for a second as I walked towards the tub.. It was filled; warm water and bubbly salts for one relaxing session after that intense week of nothing but going through the journal..
I turned the water off and undid the robe, knowing that I had his gaze focused on every little move of mine.. It slid to the ground almost too graciously, and I found myself surprised how simple moved could seduce and tempt a man.. I never truly knew how to, but with Ash it all seemed rather natural.. Games of temptation to tame our desires was perhaps a part of us at that point.
"I think it's—" I stepped in the water, slowly rising my eyes up to meet his.. His narrowed ones, dark in a way that I only saw while rolling in sheets with him, when he had some wicked idea that could never be tamed. I gave him a smile. "It's wonderful to have you near." He pulled his shirt over his head, walking towards the tub. "You sooth me."
I finally said, once again my words completely the opposite of the situation we were creating for ourselves.. While my voice and words were sweet, my actions and dares seemed wicked, and he too read my eyes well.. He knew me well to know by then, how my distractions worked, how my mind worked..
I found myself holding my breath at the sight of the hard muscles on his stomach, his toned chest and skin so smooth, I wished to lick him. Soon his pants were gone, his underwear, and he was joining me in the tub, while I— I just seemed a bit dozed off from the sight of his body..
To think how I had him, all of him, to share a bed and pleasure, to feel him over and under, his pressure and weight, his hardness and taste.. It was almost impossible.. To imagine it. To imagine myself with him.
Yet I was. I was just as desired from him as he was from me. That was what I felt with him. I felt wanted. I felt desired and adored.. Worshiped even, in such ways that left me in some frenzy of thoughts, constantly thinking of him, constantly wishing him. It was mutual, that lust.. Mutual, that love. Very much so.
I looked back at the eyes of silvers and gray as he sat in the water across from me.. Our legs brushed, skin against skin in the small bathtub, while we shared gazes that said too much.. Too much for one silent moment.
And I couldn't help but search his face.. The mystery behind that gaze, the desire behind that silver.. From his high cheekbones to his sharp jaw, from the straightness of his nose and the fullness of his lips.. I observed it all for a few seconds.. The way his dark brows were furrowed and his hair was messy on top of his head..
"You haven't been sleeping properly these few nights.." My hand reached on its own, despite his distracting words.. Words that he said for exactly that. Distraction. I touched his hair. "Is there something bothering you? Something David said the previous day?"
From running my hands through the soft short strands of his hair, I moved them downwards, over the sharpness of his cheekbone, the little dip bellow it, the softness of his shaved skin.. His hand came over mine, so light pulling it towards his lips that I didn't even notice until a slow kiss was pressed over the inside of my palm..
"I lay at night and look at you." I told him, instead of answering his question. "You're beautiful when you sleep." And the most charming grin stretched his lips.
"Still haven't heard that before." And I laughed as well, only because he found my words foolish when it was the mere truth.. Everything about him was beautiful.
Manly. Alluring. He simply had such nature.
"You know what I mean." I ran my thumb over the sharp cupid's bow, the fullness of his dark red lips.. Lips that were mine to kiss.. And yet he focused on mine as if he were thinking the same of me. "You sleep peacefully and it's calming to watch you.. Sometimes I even snuggle closer and kiss you." And a kiss was left over my exploring thumb. "You have amazing lips, you know.." Then a quick bite, followed by another grin.
I was pulled closer against the slippery tub, against him. "Coming from you, such compliments sound too daring to be ignored."
My legs were on both his sides, in a way that it would take little for us to wind up doing different activities in that bathtub.. I ran my hands up his chest while his were simply roaming from my waist to my hips, then up my back.. A little of the water was overflowing from the two of us, but he didn't seem to fare of the mess we were making..
And it was a mess he intended to make. He wanted more. And so did I. Yet in one another's arms, we seemed too comfortable to move for a moment.. Too lost in reading each other's eyes to— To actually go along and tame our lusts.
Because it was what I saw in his eyes and what he saw in mine as well. A wish, the kind that was tempting to the point of speeding up our breaths, so slightly yet noticeably in a way of speaking without words, touches that sent suggestions without words..
"I'm not trying to dare you." I managed, trying to ignore the way he focused on my lips, the way he even leaned closer. "I'm lucky to have you, Ash Bonner." Gray eyes met mine, so suggesting and dangerous, I almost shivered.. "I don't ever feel like letting you go.. I cannot even think of you with some other woman, and they desire you oh so much,"
Why I said those words out loud, I have no clue. But I spoke the mere truth. No, my love for him was at that point that I could hardly remember my life before him, nor could I imagine his without me. And my words were simple, but the way he searched my face was everything but that.
"Marry me, then," I seemed too focused on the way his lips mouthed out those words, that I found myself lost for a second..
"What?"
"Marry me."
Two words that seemed too familiar for me to even find some way to register.. To understand. They almost seemed mechanical coming from him because it was not the first time he had said them.. But there was nothing behind his eyes that was mechanical.
All the promise and emotion was there, behind those grays that left me speechless for a second, two, simply aware of his touch when he ran his knuckles so gently down the side of my face. He was focused on that, on his own gentle traces over my skin, so much that he seemed a bit lost for a second as well.
To my silence, he continued.. "It's you.. It's always been you, Anya. I wish for no one else but you.." And then his touch was suddenly down my jaw, and neck.. "My wish for you.. It's haunting me, torturing me every second of every day," My eyes closed.. I gave into his touch. "And yet I cannot stop.." I was lost, melting at those words.. "I wouldn't mind spending a lifetime like that,"
I couldn't— I couldn't possibly think of a word to follow that.. My eyes were closed and it was only his touch I was feeling.. The sensations it sent.. To my frenzy of thoughts, I inhaled a slow breath, feeling his fingers down my shoulder, down my arm.. It were wonderful the traces it left.
He then simply whispered. "Say something.." Close to me, so close.. "Say yes,"
"Yes,"
It was that answer that was truly mechanical, and there wasn't a thought that would had stopped me from saying it.. That would've changed my mind. I suddenly forgot about everything around me.. The fact that we were in a bathtub, naked and giving such promises that would mean one grand life change.
He had leaned closer, his breath somewhere against my lips, suddenly having me forget every problem I had to face throughout that past week, from my unfortunate conversation with David, to the endless searches through the journal.
"Yes, what?" My soul flattered at the sound of that deep tone, that voice that could control me, own me at the simple sound of it.
"I want to marry you.. How could I not?" I spoke against his lips, feeling the way he ran his hands down my waist, tracing the dip and the hollow of it, the curve of my hips..
But with his other hand, he had reached on the small table beside the bathtub, where the bath salts and soaps were placed.. Where the ring was placed. The engagement ring he had given me while we were in Paris. It was the previous day I took it off, not to lose it while showering, but now it was in his hand, while he took mine with the other..
"You once told me back in Paris," He started, taking my hand up closer to himself, sliding it on my finger within a second and having me once again hold my breath. "that you believed in marriage only if it was based on love.." And then he simply brought my hand up to his lips, leaving one slow compelling kiss on my palm. "Have I failed you in that, Anya?"
The way his lips moved against my hand as he spoke, followed by anther few kisses.. It caused tingles down my spine.. The way he— he was looking me in the eyes, with a glare so honest, it left me speechless for a second.. The ring was once on my hand, and he placed it back on my finger as if it belonged there.
"No, never," A blur of gray and silver appeared at my vision, so close to me that I couldn't make out his eyes.. "And I love you for it.. For the patience and caring you have for me. In my life, I haven't felt much of it.. And I feared to allow it." I felt a quick peck on his lips, slow but innocent, and then felt the smile that stretched mine.
But no matter the innocence of those butterfly kiss against, it had woken up something in him that I read clearly on his face.. From the way his lips parted against mine as a simple invitation for a kiss, to the way his hand moved at the back of my neck to pull me closer..
"God, you're beautiful." And I allowed that kiss to take my breath and soul away, in a bliss giving in, and losing all track of time after that promise I had given, after that decision we had made..
~
Ash's POV
It was one thing to have the woman you were mad for love you back, and completely another to have her promise a lifetime with you. That night, my Anya did exactly that. She said yes to being mine forever. And there wasn't a thing in the world I could wish for more than I did for that.. For exactly that.
It had been a while since the first time I had asked her to marry me. In Paris, to my question she had a lot to say, with right after all, since I did have a completely different reason for asking her that. For one, I feared she would be taken away from me, away from the damned continent even, and hell I was ready to do whatever it took to stop it..
But that night, it was different. The question was not thought-through.. No, not at all. It simply slipped out. At the sight of her, in front of me, all that beauty and grace.. With a voice that soothed my soul, she spoke slowly, words as sweet as honey and as true as the blue behind those seducing eyes..
She had that sleepy look in them, that familiar way of flattering her lashes.. It wasn't the same as she was tired, it was different.. A tempting look, this was.. A daring kind that sent a familiar sensation down my groin. The kind that left me at no ease the whole time, rock hard at the way she licked her lips before she smiled a devilish smile.
And now she walked around the room, daring every part of my body with the every flip of those natural wavy locks of her dark hair.. The linen gown-shirt she had on herself simply fell down her body in a simple way, as if she had simply threw it on and nothing else.. Which wasn't far from the truth. It tightened around her hips in a delicious kind of way, the material sliding as she swayed her hips to towards the dresser and then looked down at her hand.. At the ring.
"It's finally real." I heard her mumble slowly, with a satisfied little grin stretching her lips.
"It's always been real, Anya," And without even a spark of control in my body, I was walking towards her.
She turned to face me, leaning against the wooden drawer. Seriousness dominated her face this time. "I've spent too much time here.. It's scandalous to even think—"
"Everyone already knows you as my fiancée." Suddenly I had my hands around her waist, pulling her closer to me, wishing to feel her body against mine like a drowning man wishing for air, and damn, I wasn't even aware of it. "Let them think.. And talk.." I had leaned closer. "You shouldn't care so much.."
I kissed the side of her lips with a wish to ravish them, yet managed to stop myself after just a second of her taste.. I moved back with a groan leaving from somewhere deep in my chest. The last time I had had her against a dresser, we—
"I've always cared what others thought of me.. After everything that happened with my father.." Her voice didn't have me lose focus on my thought, my desire for her at that point.. I had to walk away. And so I did. "You know, I haven't heard his voice in a long time.." I heard her mumble somewhere behind me now. She was walking towards the bed, and I was rounding it. "I stopped calling and—"
She cut herself off; her voice fading away in the silence. She probably thought she was bothering me speaking of her father, but there wasn't a second since I had met her that I didn't wish to simply know more and more of her.
He was in jail, true, for many crimes he had committed, but he was her father and also the only living parent she had.. All the way in London even. Still, family was family. And I knew how hard it must had been for her.
I looked back at her, watching her slide underneath the sheets, before I did the same. It had became a routine for the previous few days. She didn't want to spent much time in the house she once lived in, but after my mother's lunch party, she had spent the next few days there.. And I had this urging need to have her beside me every night and morning. So I was marrying her. I had to have her close to myself forever.
"We'll go to London if you wish to pay him a visit," I told her as sat beside her on the bed, leaning back on the headboard of the bed and taking the copy of the journal from the nightstand. I opened it where I left off, but glanced at her to see her reaction to my words.
"Not yet. I—" She looked down at her hands. "I need to figure out things here first,"
"Yes," I glanced down at the journal I was holding, starting a line almost subconsciously, but frowning in confusion as I went on.. "Yes, we should start with this.." I could hardly understand, but it was for the first time in all those pages that Christopher Nelson had written something.. Something useful perhaps. "Anya, look at this.."
She leaned closer, with a frown reading the few lines.. "Behind the bricks and wood, that whole history lays.." She then looked back at me. "Ash, what is this?"
"I think he's referring to the basement.. Of this very house.." But I found no other words than repeating what was written because.. Hell, I was just as confused as her. "Did you.. I mean, did you know of—"
"No, I had no clue. What is behind the bricks?" I watched how those wide azure eyes became even wider when she looked confused like that, glancing at the journal in my hands than back at me. She say as straight as if she was sitting on thorns.
"It could be anything.." I wished I had the answer she was looking for but none of us could know unless we saw it. "Letters perhaps?"
"What if that's what my mom wanted me to find? Some letters.. Maybe some explanation.." It was almost as if she was speaking to herself, taking the pages from my lap and listing through them..
"It could be that, I suppose,"
"We have to see.." She almost jumped from the bed, and it had me grinning at the excitement that had risen inside her.
"We will. Tomorrow, my love," I knew she was not at ease after finding out there was some family secret in the basement of the very house we were in, but it was past midnight and she was exhausted. I couldn't let her tire herself more.. "Rest now. This house has been here for centuries. It can wait another night."
***
Well, what can it be?
I'll be giving a shoutout in the next chapter to the first person who guesses what it is 😉 Let's leave it at that and wait till the mystery reveals itself. Perhaps Anya already guessed.. An explanation would be good?
Kisses, babes, 😘
P.S. New book will be published soon.