Snow, a wet blanket of frozen water that covers mountains and spans through forests. The one thing that surrounded my life at this very moment without a shadow of a doubt. I reached up, placing two fingers against the skin of my neck, still astounded by the fact that I no longer had three nasty gashes running along it.
Sleep never seemed to come easy when I needed it most. I feared sleeping like I feared the monsters that lurked in the dark night of the north. My fingers trailed over the necklace West had given me. It was to protect me, dispel any nightmares away and allow me to finally get a good nights rest. The only problem was getting my eyes to trust their surroundings enough to close in the first place.
I sat on a thick branch of a pine tree I had decided to climb, my legs dangling over the sides as my eyes wandered to the stars that twinkled above and the bright waning moon. Below me on the dry dirt beneath the cover of the lowest pine branches lay Illius and West, their backs supported by the trunk. Their soft snores barely audible.
"How did you get all the way up here?" Killian quietly grunted as he gripped a branch hanging above him and placed his foot on another. He pulled himself up with another grunt and seated himself on a branch beside mine, "You made it look so easy, I figured I'd follow you up. I didn't know it was going to cost me any lingering energy I still had in my body." He chuckled, keeping his voice low as not to disturb the snoozing demons below.
I continued fingering the necklace around my neck, my eyes casting towards the sky again, "Are the stars here in Oblivion the same as the ones in the mortal realm?" I wondered aloud.
"'Course they are," Killian stretched out his arm, pointing towards a set of stars, "There's the little dipper, and there's the big dipper."
A smile grew over my lips, "What about the other constellations?"
"Honestly, those are the only ones I know how to find," He shrugged, letting out a small laugh.
I returned the laugh and then we fell into a silence. An owl hooted in the distance and I looked down at the bark of my branch, picking at it, "How did you come to know my aunt?" I abruptly asked, suddenly curious.
Killian sighed heavily, "I guess you could say Amber and I were high school sweethearts." I raised a brow at him and he chuckled, "Your father never approved of our relationship, but that never stopped us. At least, not until we were both graduated. She felt a duty to the angels and in turn she left me. We went our separate ways. I moved to New York for awhile and joined some covens. Got into a bit of trouble, made some new friends and enemies. Then, out of nowhere, on an evening like any other, she came knocking on my door. She told me about you, how her brother and sister-in-law had gone missing. She needed my help to conceal you, hide you from those that would harm you. Of course I couldn't turn her away, so I aided her. I helped her protect you. That's all she ever wanted for you, you know?" He gave me a sad smile, his green orbs meeting mine, "To keep you safe, to help you have as normal of a life as possible. She never wanted any of this for you, but you can't hide a Soul Bound I suppose. You're too crucial to Oblivion's survival."
I studied his face, my heart clenching with a mix of joy and confusion, "You still love her don't you?" My question was blunt, but I didn't regret asking it.
He nodded, "I always will," He admitted, taking a deep breath, "She's more of a woman than I could ever hope for. She'll never be with me again, she has always put her duty before her heart. Besides, I don't even know if she feels the same way about me. It's been years and a lot can change in that amount of time."
I felt sad for him, and I felt even more sad for my aunt. It was true, she always put her job before anything else, even if it meant hurting the ones she loved. But that wasn't true anymore, was it? She had helped me to not only leave Heaven, but break out with five demons in the process. I placed my hand comfortingly on Killian's shoulder, "If there is one thing I know about my aunt, it's that once she loves someone, she never stops loving them. No matter what."
He nodded, folding his hands together in front of him and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, "And what about you?" He asked, gesturing with his head down towards Illius and West, "Do you ever stop loving?"
I frowned, my hand slipping from his shoulder and to my side. My eyes falling to the brown and black tops of their heads, "No," The single word slipped from between my lips with strong emotions behind it and I had the sudden urge to curl up in a ball and refuse to continue this conversation.
"Just between you and me," He said, leaning forward, "If you had to choose right now, which one would you pick?"
My heart clenched and I seriously considered his question. Which one would I pick if I had to choose at this very moment? I stared down at Illius' black, wavy hair, and the tops of his shoulders covered in the black fabrics of his trench coat. Then my eyes traveled to West and his dark chocolate brown hair and leather pants, "Well," I began, sighing because of the weight of my words, "One is still in love with another woman, though he tries to move on. The other is a complicated mess of mixed emotions and jumps between letting me in and pushing me back out. They're both torn up inside and don't know which way is up or down." I let out a laugh, a warm sound in my ears.
"I can tell you one thing for sure," Killian held up a finger and then pointed at me, "They both care deeply for you." I shook my head and he continued on, "He's only distant because he would rather be alone then to face all the feelings he worked centuries to bury." His eyes met mine and held me there, "Don't give up on him." I leaned back against the trunk, pressing my head against its rough bark. My train of vision focusing on the splendid night sky, "We should probably try and get some rest." Killian finished and slapped the branch before beginning his climb back down.
I tucked my knees up against my chest, wrapping my arms around them and found the big dipper, sparkling in the sky like a distant memory.
~*~
A fascinating forest surrounded me. The leaves were made of silver and gold that reflected sunlight as they danced in the light breeze that smelt of roses and lavender. The grass was soft and smooth like feathers as I ran my hand across it, seated next to a small creek that trickled by. Birds in every color of the rainbow flitted through the trees, chirping music to my ears, swooping low enough through the air that I could reach up and the tips of my fingers would brush against their feathered bellies.
I closed my eyes, inhaling the sweet scented air. It was a paradise, a place of escape inside of me that I desperately needed. I never wanted to leave here. The peace, quiet, and warmth of the sun on my skin said I was home. A caw came from my side and my eyes flew open, landing on a large raven that stood in front of me, cocking its head to the side as it looked at me, there was something in its mouth and I leaned towards it, brushing two fingers over its soft head.
"What do you have there little guy?" I asked, placing my hand underneath his beak.
He dropped it into the palm of my hand and I gasped, jumping back. It fell to the ground, lying motionless in the grass. The mouse's grey fur was covered in blood, staining the blades of grass around it and the edges of the raven's beak. I looked down in my hands, horrified to find that they too, were covered in crimson, red blood.
The forest around me began to change. The trees wilted, their dried leaves falling off like snowflakes as they floated gently towards the ground of dying grass. It shriveled up beneath my feet, turning brown and black, like it had been burnt and all that remained was its ashes. The small creek ran red with blood, soaking the ground and trees with its tainted waters. The birds turned into flocks of ravens that darted at me with their sharp beaks. My arms fled up in front of my face to cover from the attacks and I let out cries of pain as they pecked and scratched at me. I fell to the ground, curling up into a ball in order to protect myself.
I screamed at the ravens, "Get off! Get off of me!" I sobbed, "Leave me alone!" They suddenly flapped away, cawing as they soared into the sky, a sky that was turning black, clouds of grey ash building over the forest. I scrambled to my feet, my heart hammering with fear.
A dark, mocking laugh filled the forest surrounding me and I flipped around, searching for the owner of the haunting chuckle. A breeze blew my hair back and I caught the movement of a shadow dashing through the trees, "Ava," It whispered, "Ava."
"What do you want?!" I shouted at it, my voice shrill as I stumbled back.
"You," It echoed, the word repeating off of the mountains surrounding the forest, taunting me, "Did you really think that a little charm could keep me away? Shut me out? You'll never be rid of me."
"No," I breathed, my eyes widening.
"Oh yes," He snickered, sending chills running down my spine, "You can't make me disappear like one of your little nightmares, oh no little Ava. I'm not just some figmentation of your imagination. I'm real." I could feel his breath on my neck as his lips moved against my ear, forming those last words.
I whipped around, fists flying, but he was gone, "Quit playing games!" I yelled, sounding far more brave than I really felt.
"But don't you like games? You're playing one right now, not in this dream of course," Another sinister laugh rung through the forest.
"Come out where I can see you, coward!" I spat, my fists raised as I prepared to punch the sucker and break his nose as soon as he jumped out at me, but he had different plans.
Two arms reached out from behind me and grasped my balled fists, bending them behind my back. I could feel his presence behind me like a shadow, always lingering, never truly gone, "I was told you were a feisty one. I had no idea just how much of a raging wildfire you truly were, it's cute, but I will break you of it." He flipped me around, pinning my hands above my head against the trunk of a dead tree. His obsidian eyes met mine, cruelly merciless. His pale blond hair spiked to the side, "You have no need for trinkets." He grasped the jeweled necklace West had given me and yanked it from around my neck. His fingers wrapped around the stone as he crushed it in his fist. He opened his hand, letting the shattered blue shards fall to the ground, a furious look on his face. His top lip twitched as his evil eyes met mine. I struggled against his grasp, but his fingers only wrapped tighter around my wrists like a vise, causing me to wince. He slammed his fist against the tree beside my head and I flinched, his face leering over mine, "I will make this clear," His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flaring with fury, "You are mine. You will set me free. Do you understand." It was more a statement then a question.
I could feel the heat from his angered breaths cascading over my face. I shifted my jaw and spit at him, "I will never be yours." I growled between clenched teeth.
The veins in his neck bulged and his other hand shot out, wrapping around my neck and giving it a good squeeze. I let out a choking sound, sputtering as I tried to fight against him, "Do not ever disrespect me again, or you will pay dearly." He snapped, releasing my neck. I gasped as a flood of much needed air filled my lungs and I coughed, "Don't ever attempt to block me out again. You belong to no one but me. I am death, remember that the next time someone touches you." He leaned down towards my neck, inhaling deeply, "I can smell your fear." His voice was low and I shivered. My wrists ached from his tight grip and I twisted them, trying to gain freedom, "That gives me power."
"You have no power over me," I seethed.
"Are you sure about that?" He grinned at me, a warning in his pure black eyes, "Should we put that to a test?" I narrowed my eyes at him, defiance growing inside of me. He took notice and his grin only grew, "We'll just have to see, won't we?"
~*~
I jolted awake, nearly falling from the branch of the pine tree. My hands shook as they gripped the bark of another branch for support, pine needles pricking at the skin on the back of my hands. My breaths came out quick and heavy, my heart pounding in my chest so loudly I could hear it and feel the pulse through my entire body. It took me a few minutes before I was steady again. My hand fled to my neck, and I froze. The necklace was gone. I shifted, feeling nauseous and quickly paused at the sound of voices below me.
"She's sensitive, whether she shows it or not, it's written all over her face. I can't break her like that," Illius' unmistakable voice said, quiet enough that I had to strain my ears to catch his words.
"Then don't," West spoke, an edge to his statement, "This would all be so much easier if you would just back down."
"What, and let you have her?" He made a disgusted sound, "Not while I'm still breathing."
"We could always fix that," West joked. I watched him lean back, using the elbows of his arms to support himself.
"I'd like to see you try," Illius chuckled, but his laugh quickly died out and he sighed, "Truly I'm just a broken demon that loves knives."
"You don't say?" Killian sarcastically snorted as he leaned against the trunk of the pine tree.
"You don't understand, she's so pure and... and I can't believe I'm sitting here with you two imbeciles talking about my feelings. It's disgustingly human," He scooped up a chunk of snow and rolled it between his palms, packing it together before tossing it at West who easily dodged.
"You missed!" He exclaimed and then flinched as another snowball planted itself coldly on his face. He wiped the melting snow off with the back of his hand, "Oh, you're asking for it." He warned.
Killian's eyes wandered up and towards me and our eyes locked, "Hey, you two. Someone's awake."
Their eyes fled up, meeting mine and I flushed, swallowing hard. I knelt over, gripping the branch as I began my descent down the tree, "How long have you been awake?" West asked.
I looked down at him and leapt from the last branch, landing on the dirt ground beside them, dusting off the seat of my pants, "Longer then you'd like."