School was the last place I wanted to be right now. I should be at the hospital with Stiles, making sure everything is okay. But, big brother Eric vetoed that and said I needed to go to school. I may be here physically, but my mind has been somewhere else all day.
Everything felt so empty without Stiles here. I didn't have anyone to walk me to my classes or turn around and whisper to me when lectures got too boring. I couldn't even text him because he's supposed to be on bed rest, which means no phones allowed. I never realized how much he's a part of my daily routine until he was no longer in it.
At least I have Scott and Lydia here, whom I'm standing with at Scott's locker as he pulls out a Pre-Calc textbook. I stood with my shoulder leaned against the locker, Lydia standing with her back against them next to me. I was looking down, staring at the bracelet on my wrist, the one Stiles had given me.
A locker door just a few down from where we were standing slammed shut, and Lydia jumping at the sound caused my eyes to flicker up. She's been acting strange like this ever since last night, but she won't admit that something's wrong.
"Are you okay?" Scott asked her.
"Yeah," she said slowly. Her eyes were wide as they glanced around the hallway. "Just a little hypersensitive to loud sounds today,"
Another locker door slammed shut and her shoulders tightened together, lurching upward at the sound. Scott and I glanced at each other, but my eyes fell back down to the ground as he began talking about Stiles.
"They're doing tests on Stiles all afternoon," he said. "Emma and I are going there around six to visit. Did you wanna come with us?"
Lydia didn't even look up at Scott when he asked. Her face was a pale white and her eyelids kept fluttering. "I should probably just go home," she said. There was another locker closing shut, one I barely even heard, but Lydia's head shot up at the noise.
"Lydia, are you sure you're okay?" I asked her, my voice soft and on the verge of cracking.
She looked at me with wide eyes, wearing an expression that made my question feel completely ludicrous. "Yeah," she said, turning to walk away. "I'll text you guys later,"
I sighed and leaned my head back against the row of lockers. There is just so much going on. I wish I could just pause it all somehow and allow myself to catch up, instead of feeling like I'm constantly drowning in all of these problems.
"Emma," said Scott. "Are you okay?"
I turned my head to look at him, keeping my eyes wide and not daring to blink. If I did so a tear would surely fall and I can't keep allowing myself to cry. I have to find a way to be strong even if I don't feel that way.
"I don't really know anymore," I said, honestly. "I mean this is - this is Stiles, you know?
"Yeah, yeah I know," said Scott, nodding his head. He placed a hand over my back to usher me down the hall. "Come on,"
I used to think that losing people happened quickly, like with Dad and Heather. I never saw it coming. One moment they were there, and the next they weren't. I was so wrong. I feel like I'm losing Stiles, but not just one quick snap and poof he's gone. No, I'm losing him slowly, watching him drift away from me piece by piece. It hurts more this way. It's nothing like ripping off a band aid.
I just wish it was.
✞
"I'm not sure I know how to pronounce this," said the doctor. "Or if it's actually just a misspelling,"
"Just call him Stiles," said Mr. Stilinski. He wasn't wearing his Sheriff's uniform, so it feels weird to be calling him that.
Scott and I stood in front of Stiles, who was sitting in a hospital gown on top of the MRI machine, waiting for the doctor to start the tests. I was holding his hand, rubbing slow circles on the back of it with my fingers. It felt so good to touch him again, to just look at him.
"Okay, Stiles," said the doctor, coming over to the three of us. "Just to warn you, you're going to hear a lot of noise during the MRI. It's due to pulses of electricity going through the metal coils inside the machine. If you want we can get you some earplugs or headphones,"
"Oh, no," said Stiles, shaking his head. "No I don't need anything,"
"Hey," said Mr. Stilinski. "We're just on the other side of that window, okay?"
Stiles nodded at his father, Mr. Stilinski giving him a reassuring smile before he and Melissa walked out of the room with the doctor. There was a brief silence between Scott, Stiles, and I as I swallowed the thump in my throat.
"You know what they're looking for, right?" Stiles asked us, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. Scott and I both knew, but we didn't say anything. "It's called frontotemporal dementia. Areas of your brain start to shrink,"
I took in a shaky breath, squeezing Stiles hand and not daring to look at him or Scott because if I did I knew I would cry. I don't want Stiles to see me cry, not here and now. Not when he needs me to be strong for the both of us for once.
"It's what my mother had," he continied. A small, strangled noise came out of my throat, but luckily no one seemed to be bothered by it. "It's the only form of dementia that can hit teenagers...and there's no cure,"
One of the tears I was holding back escaped, falling straight down onto the back of Stiles' hand. I felt him look at me, but I kept my gaze on the ground. I felt him squeeze my hand, the way he always does, and I bit my tongue to hold back my sob.
This type of dementia, it doesn't affect memory like the other forms, at least not right away. It changes the person's personality and takes away their reasoning. The worst part is, there's nothing that can be done about it. You just have to sit back and watch the person you know and love slowly slip away from you.
"Stiles, if you have it, we'll do something," said Scott, his voice tender. I didn't even have to look to know that there were tears in his eyes, too. "I'll do something,"
I let go of Stiles' hand and watched as the two boys embraced. It was so sweet and heart-warming, yet it also created a sharp pain in my chest that hadn't been there before. Scott looked over at me once they let go.
"I'll let you two have a moment," he said. I smiled at him before he walked out to join his mother and Mr. Stilinski.
I swallowed hard again and sucked in a deep breath, trying to get a hold of myself. I lifted my head up, glancing out the window to Scott before landing my eyes on Stiles. "I can heal you," I said. "I don't know if it'll work but I'll try. I'll do anything,"
"Emma,"
"Stiles, I can't - " My voice cracked. "I've lost too many people, okay? I can't lose you too,"
He grabbed my hands and pulled me in front of him. I fit in between his legs and he brought me close to him, our noses only an inch apart. "You're not going to lose me, okay? I promise,"
"How can you make me a promise like that?" I asked, and the moment it left my mouth I wished it hadn't.
Stiles looked down at our intertwined hands, his long eyelashes fluttering when he glanced back up and into my eyes. They were dark, and I couldn't spot their usual bright specks of green, but they were still soft. They were still Stiles' eyes.
"Because I love you," he said.
That pushed me over the threshold between dry eyes and tears. He wrapped his arms around my back as I cried softly into his shoulder, my own arms wrapped up underneath his armpits. He felt so warm and even though he was wearing a hospital gown, he still smelled like Stiles.
"I love you too," I said, hiccoughing over my tears. "I love you so much,"
I didn't want to leave his arms. I wanted to stay there forever and ever and pretend that everything's okay, that there isn't more going on here than we're prepared to handle. But, this isn't a fantasy. This is the supernatural, and you never get the things you want.
We pulled away, still holding onto each other. Stiles wiped the tears from underneath my eyes with the pad of his thumb, giving me the best smile he could muster. I did what I could to return it. His hand moved to cup the side of my face and he pulled my lips to his. It was a quick kiss, but it felt like more than that. He planted a lingering one on my forehead, his lips burning into my skin.
"It's gonna be okay," he whispered.
"Okay," I said, almost choking on the word.
I backed away from him, a pair of our hands still laced together. As the distance between us increased, the harder it became to hold on to his hand. The tips of his long fingers grazed mine before there was too much space, and both of our arms dropped back down to our sides.
I looked at him one last time before closing the door behind me, and we were separated by a sheet of glass. Scott came over and squeezed my arm in comfort before telling me he was going to go wait out in the hall and talk to Derek and my brother. I nodded, knowing it was best for me to stay here, to support not only Stiles but his father as well.
From behind the window I could see Stiles lay down on the machine, wrapping the blanket they gave him around his legs. The doctor pressed a few buttons, and Stiles was moved through the tunnel part of the machine.
"Okay, Stiles," the doctor said through the intercom that would go to the machine. "This is going to take about 45 minutes to an hour. Now remember, try not to move. Even just a little bit,"
I knew that was be hard for him. Stiles' hyperactivity usually keeps him moving in some way or another practically 24/7. He's always twiddling his thumbs or bouncing his leg up and down. It's just a part of who he is, part of what makes Stiles...Stiles.
"Stiles, your going to hear that noise now," said the doctor. "It's going to be a loud clanging, kind of like a hammer hitting an anvil."
The doctor then ordered for Melissa, Mr. Stilinski, and I to wait outside until the test was over and he'd looked at the results. I didn't want to go to where I couldn't see Stiles, but I also couldn't go against the rules. So, I stepped outside and let Melissa rub circles onto my back while I tried not to slip into a panic attack.
✞
I stood behind Mr. Stilinski as the doctor showed us the scans of Stiles' brain on the computer screen. There were four separate pictures, each one with a little more orange than blue than the one before it. The doctor clicked to another slide, showing a side view of his head with red shading the top and back of it.
We all looked at the doctor in silence, waiting for him to explain what it all meant. He kept pressing his lips together, and by the sound of an increasing heartbeat, I knew he was holding back saying something from us. Probably something we didn't want to hear.
"See this? This tissue here and there," he said, clearing his throat and pointing at the red and orange in the picture. We nodded. "Both those spots are showing signs of atrophy,"
My breath hitched in the back of my throat, and for a moment I thought I was going to physically choke on my own sadness. Atrophy. That means that parts of Stiles' brain are disintegrating. I don't know if I can heal that, if I'm strong enough. Zoe could have.
"Atrophy," mumbled Mr. Stilinski.
"I'm sorry," said the doctor.
I couldn't contain the sob that escaped my lips. Mr. Stilinski held out his arm and pulled me into his side, letting me cry into his shoulder. Melissa's hand was on my back again, though I could hardly feel it with how numb I was.
He has it, what I feared the most. Dementia is a symptom of atrophy, and now I don't know whether or not Stiles can keep his promise. I don't know whether or not there is anything I can do help him, but I'm going to try. Even if it kills me, I have to try.
We could see the top of Stiles' head through the monitor in front of us. I could tell he was trying his best not to move or even twitch. I wanted nothing more than to burst in there and just hold him and pretend that none of this is even happening. But I can't. This isn't even supernatural. This is just life and it's cruel way of making you miserable by giving you something you always wanted.
I wanted to be normal. I wanted normal, non-supernatural things. Now, here it is. Here's the non-supernatural thing I so longed for. I got what I wanted, just not in the way I wanted, and I would give anything for things to go back to the way they were.
Suddenly, we were sent into brief moments of darkness as the power flickered on and off. I pulled away from Mr. Stilinski, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my cardigan and looking around. We had just gotten power back in Beacon Hills after the power station incident, now it feels like it's happening all over again.
"What was that?" Melissa asked.
"It sounded like a power surge," said the doctor.
"Where's my son?" Mr. Stilinski said.
I turned around to see the bed of the MRI completely empty. "No," I muttered, running out of the room before anyone could stop me. The lights continued to go on and off as I sprinted down the hall.
From outside I could see more flashing lights, sparks almost. I burst through the front doors, stopping in my tracks when I saw the scene unfolding in front of me. A loose cable was flying around, conducted in the growing puddle of water in the middle of the parking lot.
Kira was standing in front of it, waving her arms around and trying to get everyone's attention. "Everyone get back!" She warned.
I ran up and stopped next to her, my eyes wide as I took everything in. Allison's car pulled up just in front of the water, her and Isaac stepping out. She wasn't looking where she was walking, just a step away from being electrocuted.
"Allison! Get back!" Isaac barked, pushing her off to the side and to safety. Meanwhile, his own foot had slipped, the electricity from the water surging through him and sending him to the ground.
"Isaac!" Allison called out.
I threw a hand over my mouth and moved to go help him, but Kira held out an arm to keep me back. I may be able to heal myself, but walking straight into an electrocution death trap most likely wouldn't bode well.
"What the hell is going on?" I hissed at Kira over the chaos.
The honking of a horn caused me to look ahead of myself to see a car directly heading for me and and Kira. I turned away and braced myself for impact, but it stopped just in front of us. Kira leaped onto the hood, running over the top of it and -- oh my god -- back flipping off and into the center of the water.
I stood with my mouth agape as I watched the sparks surround her. She got to her feet, holding her arms out to her sides. From across the lot I saw Scott, Derek, and my brother all come to a screeching halt on the edge of the water.
Kira grabbed the loose and wild cable that was hanging in front of her face. She closed her eyes and capped her other hand over the top of it and, when she reopened them, they glowed a bright orange. The lights of the hospital stopping flickering and Kira's eyes returned to their usual brown. She dropped the cable in front of her as people came running out to the lot.
Now realizing that the water was no longer a conductor, I ran over to Isaac, my boots splashing behind me. I crouched down next to him, Derek coming over to join me. "Isaac?" He said. I pressed two fingers to the pulse on his neck.
"He's not breathing," I said, looking up at Derek. I turned back towards Scott. "Scott! He's not breathing!"
"Can't you heal him?" Derek asked me, frantic.
"I - I don't know," I said, my hands shaking as I grabbed Isaac's hand in one and pressed the other over his heart. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as I felt the dark purple run up my veins. It hurt terribly, as if my skin were being set on fire.
I wouldn't be able to heal him completely, not without making myself too weak, but for now I could at least get him to breathe again. So, when I heard him suck in a gasp of air, I fell backwards, hitting my brother's body. I was tired and drained of energy, but at least Isaac was alive.
"Emma," said Derek, looking up at me from across Isaac. "We need to talk...about Stiles,"
✞
"Stiles is the nogitsune? Stiles?" I questioned in disbelief, raising my eyebrows at Derek and Scott. "No, no there's no way,"
"Emma," said Scott. He gave me a stern look, and I knew I couldn't be in denial about this anymore.
I shook my head and folded my arms across my chest. "Well how do we know for sure? How do we know this thing is actually inside of him?"
I guess I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around my boyfriend being possessed by a dark Japanese spirit, one that Scott's new potential girlfriend jump started with foxfire. I don't even completely understand what foxfire is or how Kira managed to make it bring back this spirit. None of this makes any sense.
"We don't," said Derek. "But we know that there's a pretty good chance,"
"You know what? No. No, I'm done with this," I said, standing up and holding my hands up in defeat. "I can handle Peter being a psychotic Alpha and Jackson tearing people to shreds as the kanima and even freaking human sacrifices but I cannot handle my boyfriend being some kind of Japanese-trickster-murderer, okay? I can't,"
"Emma - "
"Whatever this - this thing is, it's not Stiles, okay?" I said, cutting off Scott. "So when we find him, we help him."
"You can't be in denial about this forever. We have to do something," said Derek.
I turned on my heel and stomped over to him, holding a finger up to his chest. "We help him."
Derek's face was hard and he kept his eyes locked with mine. I'm not afraid of him, and even though I've forgiven him for being power hungry in the past, doesn't mean I can't still hold a grudge. I will win this argument.
"Just because this thing might be inside of Stiles, doesn't make it Stiles. He's still our friend. So, when we find him, we get rid of this thing. I don't care what it takes," I said.
"One problem with that," said Derek. I narrowed my eyes at him. "We don't know how."
---------------------------
Thanks so much for reading!
Wow I cried a lot while writing this chapter. Prepare to cry a whole lot more as the season goes on, especially in the next couple of chapters. I'm not quite sure if you guys are gonna love me or hate me for what I have coming up...
Anyways...season 4 is slaying it so if you wanna talk about it feel free to shoot me a message! I either respond like two seconds later or two weeks later I'm really sorry.
Thanks again and don't forget to comment, vote, and follow!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
-Alyssa