"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin." - Andre Berthiaume.
Kyle looked intently at his body in the mirror. Crap, he thought. He was getting slender. The effects of the pills were wearing off. Sure, he was still very muscular, and people would think he was tired because he was training so hard.
Still, he had to be careful. Nobody could know. That's what his uncle had kept telling him when Kyle went through puberty. Nobody could find out that that, beta or not, he was a Submissive. See, no matter your rank, you could be a Dominant or a Submissive even though it was very rare for alphas to be subs or for omegas to be doms.
Technically, there was nothing wrong in being a sub. But for Kyle's uncle it was unthinkable, and he had taught Kyle the hard way. So, Kyle had started to train his body to exhaustion and his uncle even managed to get him suppressant pills, which were technically forbidden and could only be found on the black market, because of their side-effects.
It goes without saying that his uncle did not care much for his nephew's mental health. As long as the pills could prevent Kyle's body from getting slightly curved and Kyle from becoming a baby-maker, it was all that mattered. Actually, he had even once let his nephew know, with a casual tone, that because of the pills, Kyle might never be able to get pregnant.
"It's better that way", he had added to the young boy. "You'll thank me for that later. You're freaky enough as it is"
Of course, no one knew the living hell Kyle was going through, nor did they care. Deep down, Kyle was still a sub, but he looked nothing like it. He sounded defiant, aggressive, powerful and was almost as feared as Darren.
When he was still a teen, a few people in the pack had cared enough to try and make him talk. Open up. Express his feelings - what a horrendous expression. That was a long time ago. Grown-ups had enough shit on their plates to take care of the ones of the others.
This is the only good thing about adulthood. People leave me in peace.
"Beta Kyle? Alpha Darren wants to see you".
"On my way".
Kyle left the tent with his habitual poker face on. He walked through the camp, heading for the Alpha's. He supposed Darren wanted to discuss their military strategy. They were at war against the Downhill pack, who had their camp on the other side of the river. It made little sense, though. They had already discussed every strategic detail until two in the morning, so why would his former friend call him back at six am?
Kyle entered the tent to find Darren and Nate sitting close to each other. They were both dominants, even though Nate was a Beta and had a sweet, but firm personality. He was also quite a sarcastic wolf and at the time they had been friends, Kyle had truly enjoyed Nate's witty comebacks.
Darren was a quiet and smart wolf, but he was also very protective of his mate, something Kyle had learned on that particular night, years ago, when he had attempted to ravish Nate. He had come back to his uncle with a black eye, broken ankle and broken nose, only to endure more beating by his uncle, who had been furious to find out that his nephew had not managed to have the upper hand against Darren.
Nate and Darren were now happily mated and Kyle could not help feeling a pang of hurt and jealousy by the mere sight of them. He felt that he ought to be with them, which was beyond ridiculous: Darren hated him, while Nate was polite, but kept his distances with Kyle.
As usual, Darren spoke to him without sparing him a second glance. Nate gave him a smile, that didn't look very heartfelt.
"Morning, Beta. You've been summoned because you are to attend the mating ceremony, which will happen tomorrow night, as it is a full moon" he said roughly.
"Pardon? You mean I will have to stand between those horny eighteen years old teens looking for their mates? I am too old for that. Besides, I haven't even felt the symptoms. I am meant to be alone".
It was the first time Kyle had spoken more than three words in the last few years. At his unexpected outburst, Nate gave him a quick, curious glance.
"I don't know why you did not experience the pre-mating signs at 18, like most of us do, but according to the One with the Eye, you are to be mated very soon." Darren resumed with a bored expression.
"But-"
"You're only 23, after all." he interrupted. "Anyway, you better be there tomorrow at eight, alpha's order. You're dismissed now, Beta. Nate, come now, love. Let's go back to bed" he had purred the last part.
They turned their back on him and Kyle left the tent, doing an excellent job at hiding his distress. Why would he have to go through the mating stuff now? Probably because the pills were not as effective as they used to be. He could have asked his uncle, unfortunately, he had killed him years ago, when his uncle was no longer strong enough to physically abuse his nephew.
Of course, some had suspected Kyle, but they had no proof, as the body was never found. If anything, it made Kyle even more feared among his pairs, which was very convenient.
He started shifting as soon as he got deeper into the forest. His wolf had a deep brown fur, just like every Beta. Puberty should have made him turn white, because of his submissive nature but, thanks to the suppressants, it never did. He merely had a few silvery strands in his fur, on his belly and chest, but you it was almost impossible to see them. Anyway, so far nobody had never taken notice of this weird fact.
Delighted with the run, his wolf started howling inside his head. He rarely showed up, maybe because Kyle was so ashamed of him, so full of self-hatred. His wolf was suffering a lot from having to hide who he really was, but Kyle would never allow his submissive nature to show off.
He was strong, aggressive, and more dominant than most of the dominants. He did not need his wolf's approval, and he certainly did not need a mate.
Mates are for the weaks, who can't bear to be on their own because they're fragile and lack personal ambitions.
I am everything but weak. Even my uncle had to acknowledge it.
The One With The Eye is very mistaken if they think I will happily accept whoever the Goddess has designated to be my mate.
As if that person could ever love me back.
A/N: There are only a few minor changes - mainly grammar/spelling, but the chapter is also a tad bit longer than the original one, and I've modified Darrens' words a bit, to make him sound less passive-aggressive.
Anyway, there will be more major changes later in the story, but the beginning will remain very similar.