Cade
Early November spoke of holiday promises all over Red Mire as people began to tuck away Halloween decorations and love festive Thanksgiving decode all around. As I crusades through town I noted bright colored signs and stores boasting of the best pre- Black Friday sales ever encountered. I smiled as I thought of my own mother, the queen of holiday spirit, was passing by the turkey and dressing ideal and headed straight for Christmas. My childhood home at last visit was decked out in silver, brown and red ornaments out the wazoo and she constantly - much to my father's chagrin - had Christmas carols playing. My own excitement was higher than most years past, since I would be escorting one Ms. December Dixon to all of my family gatherings. Over the moon didn't quite describe my mother's feelings on this, but it was close.
I took my time putting my truck in park once I reached my destination, savoring the cool air against my face. Another day had started at four this morning, helping birth a calf out in a field and then mending a broken fence. My whole body ached from the long day, however I wasn't going to complain. The key twisting in the lock was music to my ears. The scent of something delicious hung heavily in the air as I entered my home, my tired feet carrying me through the doorway at a faster pace than they had all day. I had forgotten December was supposed to be here tonight, a weekly dinner date of sorts that we had started doing - any night she was lighting up my home was one I looked forward to.
"December?" I called out upon not finding her in the kitchen, wondering where she was. Normally she was waiting on me at the dining room, tucked into the e-reader I had purchased to keep her from going stir crazy in the house alone. The object itself sat on the counter beside an open container of cherry tomatoes, page dark from not being used. I wasn't overly concerned, however it wasn't like her to not be hovering over something she was cooking. Upon my inspection if the rest of the house, even the two guest rooms, I began to worry a little. Where was she?
The sound of yapping hit my ears, and I wandered toward the noise. The sliding door to the back porch was slightly a jar, something I would've normally noticed had I been paying closer attention. Flat on her bottom, legs spread to welcome a golden puppy, was December, cooing over the yapping dog. My guy twisted pleasurably at the sight. Her golden hair was falling in waves carelessly down her back, swaying over the faded letters of a borrowed T-shirt. The dog nipped at her fingers playfully as she sat there, her light laugh twinkling in the fading sunlight. My pulse sped up as I listened to it, basking in the glorious notes. This was some of the December I remembered. My chest tightened as it occurred to me that in the months that she'd been visiting with Dr. Taylors, she'd slowly started to come out of the shell she'd built for herself and I was starting to see the woman that I'd been so in love with long ago. There were moments where the darkness still ate at her; days where she didn't respond to texts or calls, hours where when she was over talking to her was difficult because she just didn't want to share, but then there were these days where her clouds began to open up and I could see the rays of light that she emitted beaming through. I could live with both types of December, simply because my soul told me that deep down she was still the same woman I loved, the same one that made me weak in the knees with a single smile and my heart stop with a laugh — the bad days were moments to work through, even if it took an entire lifetime.
"Looks like you found a friend, baby." I remarked softly, trying to avoid spooking her. December's shoulders tensed but relaxed after only a moment, a shy smile my response when she turned to meet my gaze. Those normally stormy eyes were a brilliant blue, glowing with happiness, and I hoped deeply that it wasn't just the pup in her lap.
"You're home." It was a content sigh from her lips, a small smile that made me want to push the glass door open and cross the distance between us to press my lips against hers. I resisted, unsure that she was ready for that kind of intimacy just yet. A playful whine interrupted our moment, the puppy not enjoying the attention being taken. Her small giggle at the pups pathetic actions had my gut tightening. She was glorious. I stood there watching them play, simply basking in her beauty and joy, the time seeming endless, that is until the sound of a fire alarm broke our bubble. Instantly I remembered the food in the oven. Long strides toward the kitchen and a smoking oven had me yanking the door open to reveal dark chicken breasts. I grabbed for a kitchen towel to pull the pan out, ignoring the fact that it was damp until it was too late and my fingers were stinging with pain.
"Dammit!" I hissed, dropping the hot item on my counter and yanking my hand back, shaking the offended object back and forth on my way to the sink. The sensation of cool water helped momentarily.
"I'm so sorry, Cade!" I heard her yell frightfully, her eyes full of terror and tears as I looked up. Her whole body was frozen feet away, curled protectively into itself as she hovered nearby. "I didn't - I didn't mean to forget. I'm so - so sorry."
The pain in my hand was forgotten as I took in her stance, the way she held herself as she waited for my reaction. Was it my words she was fearful of? Or did she expect me to lash out? Was that what he had done to her? We hadn't spoken much in her past. I didn't know what had happened beyond having a "bad relationship", but I had my working theories. And it seemed, from the way she flinched as I stepped closer, that I had been correct. Anger bubbles under my flesh, but not toward her. Only sympathy and understanding. No, the anger was for the bastard who had dared to harm her. For this I wanted to kill the man who had deigned to put a hand on her, who had thrown words at her to cause her to flinch.
"Darlin," I whispered, turning off the faucet quickly. "It's okay." It was, shit it was just chicken. We could order out, go grab frozen pizzas, anything if it made that smile reappear on her lips.
"I didn't mean to forget. Please don't be mad. I can - I'll make something else!" Her words were out so quickly I almost missed them, they bubbles with hysteria. My chest ached now, watching the tears begin to fall down her reddened cheeks.
"It's okay," I repeated, wanting to pull her to me to comfort her. To wipe those damned tears away from her skin and prove she hadn't done anything wrong. But with every step closer to her I took, she took one back, eyes widening in horror. This action made me want to throw something, the urge making my hands tingle with anticipation — however this would only serve to make it worse for her.
"December." Her name was soft from me at first, but I had a feeling she was more than lost in her past than here in the present. It took a few tries with my voice getting louder each time. Finally, when my tone hardened she looked at me fully, her entire body tense.
"It's only dinner. You didn't do anything to apologized for." Her tear filled eyes widened, mouth widening into an o shaped. "C'mere." I beckoned, hoping she would listen. It seems to take hours, but she slowly began to scoot forward, legs unbending it seemed. Finally, when she was close enough, I wrapped my arms around her frozen body, rubbing slowly up and down her back and kissing her hair as I spoke soft words to her, words of adoration. My heart the whole while was filled with a pain that I had never felt in my life. It was a heartbreak unlike anything I'd ever experienced. What had she been through? How was I supposed to help her if I didn't know. My gut only told me one thing, and it was to do whatever it took to make sure she never went through that kind of pain ever again.
December
"I was surprised when you called, December." Dr. Taylors said, studying me over the brim of her reading glasses, brow furrowed slightly. To be quite honest, I was too. She was the last person I had wanted to talk to but the first I had dialed. She was the only person that knew about Eric, about anything I had been through in the last few years.
"Well," I started, not quite meeting her sharp yellow gaze, "I had a bit of a setback." I admitted softly before launching into the story, admitting that I had been so caught in what would've happened with Eric that I had simply ignored the fact that it was Cade standing right in front of me.
"And did he ask?" She prodded, her face stoic. I couldn't read her, but sensed a disappointment when I shook my head. I had expected him to, as well. However, he had simply held me for a while before taking my hand and leading me to the back patio to sit and enjoy the silence of the night together, even telling me that if it made me happy, he'd keep the pup.
"So, you're sharing the dog?" Her tone was surprised, but not overly so.
"Yes. We named him Hoss," I admitted, a soft smile crossing my face. I was glad Cade had allowed me to keep him, grateful that he cared enough.
"It was kind of him." Was her cool response, but I knew there was more to come, "Do you think maybe you should divulge some of the information about your past to Cade since you seem to be headed toward a more stable relationship with him?" I knew this was a reasonable question, but I found myself not wanting to answer her. Of course I knew that I should tell Cade, hell, if he wanted to put up with me, he deserved to know. I just didn't want to taint the thing growing between us with more of my own bullshit.
"Well, i probably should." The 'but' hung heavily in the air.
"But..." She prompted, scribbling something down on that damned notepad of hers.
"I can't."
The silence between us was a cavern, dark and filled with terrifying possibilities. I knew I needed to tell him, because I didn't want to lose him again, something about being around Cade again made my heart want to heal and my mind not so dark, I was simply terrified of his reaction.
"Have you considered the date?" She asked, her eyes softening as she looked at me, for once not pushing me beyond my limits. My head moved from side to side negatively as I waited for her to tell me what she meant. The brief pause between her next words had my heart dropping to the floor.
"November 15th is two days from now, December."