.:Author's Note:.
Please excuse any mistakes.
I had this song on loop while rewriting this chapter.
***
Jonathan's POV:
I haven't heard from Winston in five days.
No call, no text, no email, and no FaceTime.
Saying I was worried would be an understatement. I was stressing the fuck out.
"Maybe something happened on Sunday." Macy said to me after I had tried Winston's phone for the hundredth time today. The call went straight to voicemail. "Did something happen on Sunday?"
"No, not that I know of." I sighed. "I mean, I accidentally snapped at him, but he said it was nothing to worry about after I apologized. He was all good when he was leaving - gave me a kiss, told me he loved me, and then he was on his way. Fuck! What if he really wasn't okay? Did I miss the signs?"
"Although I've known Winston for a long time – not personally until recently – I could never figure out what was going on his head when he came to the group meetings. I can't answer those questions for you."
"But I usually can figure out what goes on in his head." I grumbled, clenching my fist in frustration. "Fuck it. Can I use your car? I need to stop by his house."
There was no use in trying to contact him electronically. If my calls and texts were going unanswered, the next best thing to do was a pop-up. He couldn't ignore me when I was at his front door; could he?
"Yes, of course." Macy replied, interrupting my thoughts. She rummaged through her bag on the counter before pulling out her keys and handing them to me. "Bring him home, Bugsy."
"I plan to." I replied as I stood from my seat and headed to the front door. I quickly put on a pair of shoes and a light jacket before leaving the house. Thankfully, my girls were in Macy's room playing with her pet lizard, so I didn't have to worry about them questioning where I was going. They were very aware of Winston's absence, and I think it was taking a toll on them.
The drive to Winston's house was terribly frustrating. There was traffic like no other, and I couldn't seem to avoid the red lights. Pulling up in front of his place and not seeing his car in his driveway did not help my frustration.
I called his phone again.
"We're sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later."
Fuck!
I turned off the car engine. It was going to be a long night. No way was I going to go back home when Winston could show up at any moment. Thankfully, it was a Friday, and I didn't have to worry about Macy needing her car tomorrow morning. I'd stay parked in front of Winston's house the entire weekend if I had to. Please don't make me have to.
Three and a half hours went by. I was almost at the point of dozing off when Winston's car lights flashed brightly in my eyes as he pulled into his driveway.
Quickly, I got out of the car once he was parked, slamming the door behind me before meeting him halfway on the pavement. He was shocked to see me.
"Jonathan?" His voice cracked as he spoke. I frowned as I took in his appearance.
Winston's eyes were sunken in, and his hair was oily and disheveled. I could tell that he hadn't shaved or showered in days. I wasn't sure he had eaten either. His face looked too thin for my liking, and he seemed to be in the same clothes from Sunday night. I paused when I saw the blood on the knees of his pants.
"Winston, what happened?" I asked quietly, yet I knew that he heard me. Obvious tears brimmed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around himself.
"I – I think you should go." He replied instead of answering my question, making my frown deepen.
"I'm not going anywhere but inside that house with you." I gritted, watching the tears run down his cheek. There was nothing more that I wanted to do than hug him, but since he had asked me to leave, I figured my touch was the last thing he wanted right now. "Let's go inside."
"No!" He said angrily. "I just need to feed Snow and then leave. I'm not staying here. You should go home."
"I told you I'm not going anywhere. Winston, I thought we agreed to talk to each other."
"I don't want to talk. I want you to leave me alone."
I stared in shock as my boyfriend stormed away from me and went to his front door. Not wasting a second, I followed behind him. His sound of annoyance was loud in the quiet space.
"Just tell me what I did wrong." I spoke as he headed to the kitchen, picking up Snowflake's bowls before setting them on top of the counter. "Please."
"You didn't do anything wrong." He mumbled while topping up the bowls with food and water. "I did."
"What?"
"I've been spending too much time with you, and I've been neglecting my other responsibilities." He paused, taking a deep breath before looking anywhere but at me. "I just don't think we should be together anymore. You're a distraction."
The air filled with tense silence. I didn't know if I wanted to scream at Winston until my throat was sore or just walk away.
Five days. Five whole days without a single word from him, and this is what I'm greeted by.
I took in his appearance again. No, something was wrong.
"Look me in my eyes, Winston, and tell me that again." I shrugged halfheartedly. If he could, I'd walk away with no questions asked. My boyfriend could never hide the emotions in his eyes, and I knew that he was keeping a lot from me right now. Walking around the island that had separated us, I stood directly in front of him. "Tell me that you don't want to be with me and that I'm nothing more than a distraction."
He bit his lip and kept his head lowered. Up close, I could see the dark spots on his skin. His lack of food meant a lack of vitamins, resulting in the few bruises I could see. I was sure that under his clothes, he would be sporting a bit more.
"We should break up."
"You're still not looking me in the eyes."
Winston groaned in frustration making me grin a bit. Now was not the time, but he was amusing. It took another few seconds before his eyes locked with mine. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something – anything.
"We – You should –" He frowned and more tears gathered in his eyes. His voice lowered to a whisper. "I can't."
"You can't what?"
"I can't say it! You happy?!"
"Very." I said before I pulled him to my chest for a tight hug. Thankfully, he just sighed and hugged me back. "As much as I love you, you reek. Why don't you go to the bathroom and have a shower?"
"I can't. I have to get back to the hospital." My boyfriend cried on my shoulder. "I wasn't here, Johnny, and she fell."
"Who?" I asked during a moment of absentmindedness.
"My mother. She was having a seizure and hit her head pretty badly on the edge of the tub. When the ambulance took her to the hospital, the doctor told me that she had stage four brain cancer. She was hiding it from me the whole time! I should've been here, but instead, I was at your house, without a single care in the world."
I stilled, feeling Winston cry harder against me. His words came out slightly incoherent and muffled, but I understood the gist of what he was trying to say. My chest tightened. Although it was a couple of years ago, I understood the grief of knowing that someone you loved was running out of time.
It hurt like hell.
Now I understood why he wanted me to go away, but no way in hell was that going to happen – now or ever.
"Sweetness, you can't blame yourself for that."
"Yes, I can, and I do. Please, just let me set Snowflake's bowls down so that I can return to the hospital."
I pushed him out to arm's length.
"How was Constance when you left?"
"She was unconscious. Has been for the past five days."
"Well I'm sorry, Win, but you're not leaving right now. I'm sure that when your mom wakes up, she wouldn't want to see you like this."
"Way to make me feel pretty." He chuckled humorlessly. "Honestly, I'm fine."
Less than a second later, he went limp in my arms.
Fine my ass...
I caught Winston before he could hit the floor. With a grunt, I picked him up bridal style and brought him to his bathroom. The lights turned on automatically, and I paused at the sight of the dry blood on the floor.
"Jesus Christ." I mumbled lowly. I set my boyfriend carefully on the floor before stripping off my jacket and beginning to fill his tub with warm water. After, being mindful of the small puddle, I stripped him of his own clothes and put him in the tub. He didn't stir as I gave him a quick bath and gently washed his hair.
I then grabbed a towel and took him out, setting him comfortably in his bed once he was dried enough. I went against dressing him since it was a bit hot in the house. Returning to the bathroom, I unplugged the tub and did my best to clean the red stain from the floor.
Snowflake was right on my tail as I returned to the kitchen. I grinned when she hopped up onto the stool and then the counter, heading straight to her bowls.
Silence filled the house – minus the soft chittering of her teeth.
With the unbearable silence surrounding me, I decided to do something else to keep me busy. Giving my sister a call seemed like the best idea. She picked up on the fourth ring.
"Bugsy, did you find him? Is he okay? Are you coming home soon?" Macy fired question after question at me. I had to wait until she was done speaking before I could say anything. That took another minute.
"Yes, Pebbles, I found him, but he's not okay." I answered with a sigh. "His mom is in the hospital with stage four brain cancer."
"Oh my God! What the fuck is up with the people we love dying from cancer?"
"I'm guessing it's the universe's idea of a sick joke. He tried to break up with me earlier."
"And I'm sure, like the stubborn man you are, you wouldn't have that."
"Of course not." I chuckled. "Winston is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I won't speak like the same is for him, but I'd like to believe that it is. I wasn't going to just walk away from him."
"I'm glad you didn't. He needs you now more than ever."
"I know. God, you should've seen him, Pebbles. At first, I thought he was sick. I don't think he's slept or eaten since Sunday night, and who knows the last time he had something to drink."
"I hope he's sleeping now."
"He is – passed out right in my arms."
"That's Winston for you." Macy laughed lowly. "Always thinking that he can hold the weight of the world on his shoulders. You should make him some soup."
"I was actually thinking the same. Should I wake him to get some food in his stomach?"
"Yes. He can go back to sleep right after."
"Okay, well I'm going to get started on that right now. I'll try to be back home before tomorrow afternoon."
"Take your time, Bugsy. The girls and I are okay. We just want you to bring Winston home in one happy piece."
"That'll probably take some time. I've decided to put the topic of moving in on the back burner. Winston doesn't need the stress of making that decision in addition to what's going on his life right now."
"True, but aww, I was so excited for him to say yes!"
"How about you send me a bit of your positive energy?" I grinned. "Lord knows I need it."
"Oh, I will. Go take care of your man, Bugsy. Give him a hug and kiss for me."
"I will. Tell April and Alyssa that I'll see them in the morning."
"See you tomorrow, Daddy!" My girls' voices came through the receiver instead of Macy's, making me smile. I quickly swiped at my damp eyes.
"Good night, Princess A. and Batman. Sleep well."
"We will!" One twin said – likely Alyssa.
"Give Winston hugs and kisses from us too!" April followed up, making me laugh lowly. I nodded before remembering that they couldn't see me.
"I'll make sure he gets them."