A teary-eyed Castiel stood at your funeral nearby the grave trying not to break down as he watches the men lower your casket into the right now empty grave.
"I'm sorry." whispered Castiel softly that day as he threw a white rose into the not yet dirt covered grave
"I'm so sorry." whispered Castiel while as a tear ran down his cheek
Castiel and you met back in 1869 in a small town in Georgia. You were the prettiest girl in town at least that's what Castiel thought and you were the mayor's daughter. So when Castiel waltzed into town pretending to be the son of the mayor in a town far away in the Carolinas in a vessel that looked to be around your age with Balthazar pretending to be his father he got to meet you during his mission.
"I don't understand, why are we here?" asked Balthazar as Castiel and he walked up the steps of the mayor's house
"I told you why. Heaven sent us here and we shall stay until they ask us to return home." replied Castiel sternly and seriously before Balthazar rolls his eyes at him
"So that's a no." commented Balthazar with a sigh before he reaches up and knocks on the front door of the mansion
Castiel shoots Balthazar an annoyed look before the front door swings open to reveal the dressed up mayor.
"Hello, gentlemen, I assume you are Sir James Scott and you are his son Mr. Castiel Scott." said the mayor
"You assume correct sir." jumped in Castiel then a tiny smile appears on the mayor's face
"Well, it is nice to meet you, I'm sure you know I'm Mayor Y/L/N, now come on in. You can set your things down by the door." said Mayor Y/L/N moving to let the two men into the household
"Thank you." said Balthazar with a nod as Castiel and him set down their suitcases in unison
"So how about I show you around?" asked the mayor with a serious look
"Sounds good." answered Balthazar
"Well first I'll-" started the mayor
"Father." said an unfamiliar voice with a confused tone as a y/h/c haired girl appeared behind the mayor that caught Castiel's eyes
You looked absolutely stunning to the angel which somehow only confused him.
Why does it feel like I can't tear my eyes away from her? Thought Castiel who hadn't really felt anything like this before
"Who are these people?" You asked as you joined your father's side with a perplexed expression on your face
"These are the Mayor I told you was visiting and his son. Sir James Scott and Castiel Scott." responded your father while he looked back at you before he turned back to James and Castiel
"This is my daughter, Y/N." introduced your father
"It's nice to meet you." You added with a sweet smile that made Castiel even smile a little
I like her. Thought Castiel who had not yet realized how true that statement is
Balthazar nor Castiel had found out or realized their reasoning for being here yet. Castiel was growing more and more annoyed while also being confused by most of humanity but it hasn't all bad. There was one human that he greatly enjoyed and liked and that human was you.
Castile couldn't really pinpoint what exactly at why he likes you he just does. It is confusing to him but he got too much of what he thinks the humans call joy being around you to really care. You breathed a life into Castiel that he hadn't known existed until then.
Castiel was walking through the hallways of the mansion he had been at two weeks now late at night due to angels not sleeping so he had decided he should get familiar with the place he will be at for who knows how long. Castiel was walking down the hall looking at the different paintings on the wall until someone crashing into him refocuses his attention.
The person started to fall but thankfully with Castiel's angelic quickness he steadied the person but gripping their waist and pulling them to him.
"Oh!" You squeaked out when the person you had collided with thankfully steadied you
"Miss.Y/N?" questioned Castiel while he looked down at you surprised since he didn't expect you to be awake at this hour
Though heat rushed to his cheeks when he saw what you were wearing and quickly let go of your waist before he took a step back.
You weren't wearing what back in the 1800s would be considered appropriate which Castiel knew and felt quite awkward right then as he wasn't sure what to do. Even though he knew how you looked then wasn't the most appropriate Castiel couldn't help but think how stunning you are.
Though you had chuckled at the now flustered and awkward Castiel finding it very adorable.
"Mr.Castiel, it's okay, it's just a night grown." You said referring to the silky white knee-length grown you were wearing while Castiel stared down at the ground
"Okay, Miss.Y/N." Castiel had replied as he finally lifted his gaze from the ground
"So what are you doing awake at this hour?" added Castiel with a curious expression knowing this is normally when the humans are asleep
"Couldn't sleep, so I thought I take a walk. About you, Sir Castiel? How come you are awake at such an hour?" You retorted with a raised brow
"I don't sleep....much." responded Castiel
"Well, then would you fancy to come with me on my walk?" You questioned slightly hoping he would tag along as you hold your arm out to him
Castiel had no clue what fancy meant but from what the sentence was he assumed what it meant and a small smile formed on his face because of it. Castiel realizing lately that he would do or go anywhere if he got to spend time with you.
"Sure." answered Castiel looping his arm with yours
"Let's get going then." You said with a smile
Fifteen minutes later, Castiel and you laid on the ground staring up at the clear sky both of you relaxed now. The two of you were close not close enough that you were on top of each other but close enough that your shoulders were touching.
"The stars look beautiful tonight, don't you think so?" commented Castiel as he stares at them with a new excitement in his eyes
Castiel has seen the stars millions of times before but tonight they seem different. They seem brighter tonight.
Castiel though tore his eyes away from the sky when he didn't get a response from you. He looks over to see you deep in through your eyes showed you weren't really focused on anything around you and you were biting your lip something Castiel noticed you often do.
"Miss.Y/N, you okay?" asked Castiel holding some concern in his eyes something he hadn't ever felt
Castiel found himself feeling quite a lot of new things in his time here.
You seem to have snapped out of your daze when the boy next to you asked that.
"Hmm, oh yes, I just...I have a lot on my mind." You answered with a forced smile as you looked at him
"Like what?" asked Castiel with a curious look in his eyes
"I don't want to bother you with my troubles." You responded with a rather sheepish look
Why would she be nervous to tell me what's wrong? I only would want to help. Thought Castiel confused
"You aren't bothering me by telling me what's wrong I want to help." said Castiel genuinely who hasn't yet learned what a verbal filter is
You let out a sigh before you ran a hand through your hair.
"I'm just thinking about things between me and Mr.Walsh." You started to explain and Castiel let out a small grown
Now that was one person Castiel absolutely disliked completely. In Castiel's opinion that man is a stuck up, douchebag, snob Witt little to no redeeming qualities. Mr. Carter Walsh is who you are currently courting which Castiel doesn't understand. How can someone as amazing as you be with someone like him?
"It's....okay what I tell you, you can't tell anyone else. It's a secret. I'm trusting you Castiel here, promise me you won't tell anyone else." You had said with an almost begging look in your eyes
"I would never tell anyone, I promise." said Castiel and you could see the honesty in his eyes
You then let out a deep, shaky breath before you looked away from Castiel's eyes.
"Mr.Walsh and I are only dating because our of parents. With his being the richest family in town and mine being the mayor they think we should be together because of that.....They want us to get married. I don't love Carter but I don't want to let my parents down. Plus I guess there are guys that could be worse suiters than him at least I like him. It's...It's just I don't know what to do. It's confusing." You explained with a sigh
Castiel looks at you deep in thought trying to figure out what to say. Castiel is still new to all this human stuff and to him this situation seems confusing and he isn't sure what to say because he doesn't really know what to say.
You sigh after a few minutes of silence and move your head to rest on Castiel's chest.
"Maybe...maybe I'm not destined to be with someone I love.....maybe in another life I will but I don't think it is going to happen in this one." You said with a sad expression on your face
"Miss.Y/N I haven't known you long but from what I can tell, I believe that you deserve to be with someone you love. You weren't a bad person and I believe you should get to be with someone whom you love and who loves you." says Castiel
You look up and into Castiel's eyes searching his eyes for what you aren't entirely sure about. A tiny, grateful smile though forms on your face a few seconds later.
"Thanks, Cas. That's really sweet of you to say." You compliment before Castiel gives you a small tiny smile as his ear turn a bit pink
You rest your head softly back onto his chest before you look up at the stars.
Why do I feel all tingly? Thought Castiel confused
"They really are beautiful." You commented and Castiel nodded in agreement before the two of you fell into a peaceful silence that night
After that night the two of you seemed to be closer and grew even closer over the following week together which to someone was pretty obvious.
You were stood with Sir Carter in the living chatting about something with a forced happy look that to Castiel was very obvious was fake. You didn't have that sparkle in your eyes that got when you were happy.
Castiel was admiring you from the other side of the room with a small smile on his face. You noticed someone was staring at you feeling their eyes and you quickly looked away from Carter to see Castiel staring at you. You blushed and gave him a small smile as that certain happy twinkle appeared in your eyes making Castiel smile softly. You though begrudgingly turned back to Carter at the same time as a familiar voice spoke up from behind Castiel.
"You have been staring at that human for the past 15 minutes." commented Balthazar making Castiel turn to him
"So?" snapped Castiel with a defensive tone
"Oh, you have feelings for that pretty human." realized Balthazar while a smirk forms on his face and Castiel's cheeks heat up slightly
"I do not." protested Castiel knowing the most rascal acting angel in existant would mess with him due to his feelings for the beautiful human he has gotten to know
"Well, just in case remember our father is always watching and he would not be happy if you corrupt the cute little human's innocence." commented Balthazar with a teasing look in his eyes while his words make Castiel's blush deepen
"Shut up." mumbled Castiel before he heads away from Balthazar making him chuckle
"I'm sure the angels back home will be quite interested to know about Castiel's little feelings." Balthazar said quietly with an almost evil smirk
Castiel headed into the kitchen not knowing where else to go right now as he just needed a break from Balthazar's teasing.
Castiel let out a sigh as a million thoughts run through his head. Mainly about is he going to do and thoughts about how to get rid of his feelings. To Castiel, his feelings seemed like they were useless you are human for starters and with another man no matter if you liked him or not you were still together so he thought with that combination with he would eventually have to return to Heaven that there was no point to his feelings. That the two of you would never ever be together.
Though those thoughts all disappear when a certain familiar voice calls out from behind him.
"Sir Castiel." You say with a small smile
Castiel turned to you all remembrance of his thoughts from earlier quickly vanishing.
"Hello, Miss Y/N." greets Castiel with a soft look with a small hint of happiness in his eyes as he talks with you
"What are you doing in here?" added Castiel curiously with a small accompanying head tilt
"I'm here to see you." You answered stepping closer to Castiel
"You are?" questions Castiel with an ounce of shock in his voice
"Yes, I am because I wanted to tell you that I think your right. I need to be with someone that makes me happy and that isn't Carter. So I'm going to break up with him." You replied making Castiel have to fight off of a smile knowing even from his very small human experience that if he smiled right now it would be quite rude of him
"That-that's great Y/N....but-but what made you change your mind?" responded Castiel with a curious look confused to why you would change your mind
"I realized I had feelings for someone and I don't think it's fair to Carter if I'm with him but I want to be with someone else and I don't think it's fair to myself to fake being happy when I could be actually happy." You replied with a small smile
"Who's this person you have feelings for?" blurts out Castiel with a mixture of nervous, worry, and a small ounce of fear
He really hopes you don't have feelings for someone else when he has all these tingly warm feelings for you.
"Well, it's this great, amazing guy that made me realize that I deserve to be with someone I have feelings for but he didn't know that person ended up being him." You answered trying to face your nervousness with a small smile
"You-you have the f-feelings for me?" squeaked Castiel shocked which had made you chuckle softly
"Yes, Sir Castiel, I have feelings for you." You admit as the nervousness brewing in you grows though it disappears when a huge smile forms on Castiel's face
Instead of saying anything at first Castiel's hands impulsively moved up to cup your face. He largely grinned down at you while you look at him with a fond smile the two of you stood that way for a second before Cas broke the silence.
"I have feelings for you too, Miss.Y/N." confessed Castiel before he had crashed his lips to yours in a kiss that was like no other
You were happy, happier than you had ever been with Carter or with anyone else for that matter. So was Castiel he wouldn't remember any other time in all the millenniums that he had ever been this happy or even close to you. The two of you had never been happier than when the two of you were together sadly though it seems all good things must to end.
Castiel and you chuckled as the two of you headed up towards your house after returning from a night out on the town. A few months after the two of you shared your first kiss together. The two of you now happily courting.
"I had fun tonight, Miss.Y/N." said Castiel with a smile
"I did too, Mr.Castiel." You replied with a smile as the two of you stop in front of the stairs to your house
Castiel smile grew a tiny bit before his hands moved to gently caress your cheek as yours moved to rest on his waist before you leaned up and pressed your lips to his. The two of you smiled into the kiss both of you thoroughly enjoying it until a voice from behind you ruins the moments and causes the two of you to pull apart.
"Aww isn't this cute." commented Balthazar quite loudly which made you pull apart
You blush slightly embarrassed to be caught by who you know as Castiel's father while Castiel looks at the angel in annoyance.
"Father....what are you doing here?" asked Castiel slightly glaring at Balthazar
"I came to see you, my son, I need to talk to you.....alone." answered Balthazar
"Well, I'll just head inside then. Goodnight Mr.Castiel." You then said before you pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek
"Goodnight, Miss.Y/N." said Castiel with a smile
You gave him one last tiny smile before you head up the porch steps and into your house with the two angels watching.
"What was that all about?" questioned Castiel with a small ounce of anger in his eyes
Balthazar though rolled his eyes at Castiel's dramatics.
"I just received word from Heaven. It's time for us to return home, Castiel." answered Balthazar making Castiel's stomach drop
"What? But we haven't even found out what our purpose was for being here, we cannot go home yet." protested Castiel not wanting to leave your side
"Our minion turned out to be just to get to know and understand humans then report to them what we experienced. I believe we have definitely accomplished that and now they want us to come home." lies Balthazar
"I don't want to come home." stated Castiel impulsively as he isn't ready to go home because he definitely doesn't want to leave you
"So you are choosing your little human over your family, us, Heaven?" asked Balthazar with a serious expression
"Yes." answered Castiel firmly with a nod
Castiel just found his happiness and he isn't ready to lose it yet.
Balthazar sighs letting his serious expression drop and turned into one of a concerned friend.
"Look, Castiel, if you don't come home with me tomorrow Heaven will rain down and drag you home. They might even hurt the human or worse if it means it will get you to come home. You don't want that so come home Castiel for the good of you, of this town, and for the girl." said Balthazar before he flew away leaving a thought filled Castiel behind
Balthazar stood in Heaven in front of a board filled with the highest of Heaven's members.
"So how did our little experiment go? Did Castiel become a traitor to us?" questioned the head angel
The actual mission that Castiel and Balthazar were sent on was an experiment to see how much influence humans could have over an angel. They wanted to see if Castiel, one of their most loyal soldiers, would choose the humans over them. They wanted to see how dangerous the humans are to them keeping the way Heaven is. Balthazar knew about this experiment while Castiel was in the dark.
"He is making his decision right now between us or the human but I believe he will make the right choice." said Balthazar with a serious expression
"I hope you are right. Treason is a very serious crime that we don't take likely. We will do anything to get him home so he may receive his punishment even if that means some human casualties." responds the head angel making Balthazar gulp nervously
While Balthazar was reporting to the angels you were heading into your room after a quick chat with your father with a smile on your face from thinking about your date with Mr.Castiel.
You started to let your hair down from the uncomfortable updo you had done until you hear a very loud whoosh and the room suddenly gets very windy.
"What the-what was that?" You questioned looking around confused before something on your desk catches your eye
I don't remember that being there when I walked in. You thought confused as you pick up the piece of paper
Your eyes scan over the piece of paper before your eyes widen as you realize it's a note from Castiel before you read it. Once you read it through the smile wipes off of your face completely and tears gather in your eyes while your stomach dropped.
I'm sorry Miss.Y/N, but tonight my father informed me that we must return home. So I'm leaving and by the time you read this, I will already be gone. I'm sorry Miss.Y/N that I didn't say goodbye in person but I didn't have the time. I don't know when or if I will come back so I guess this is the end for us. Don't think that this means I didn't enjoy our time together because I did, Miss. Y/N, I really did. I just want you to know that even though we were only together for a short time I was falling for you Miss.Y/N but I guess we weren't meant to last even though we both wished for it too. Maybe in that other life, you were talking about we got to be together. The note reads.
Tears had fallen down your cheeks and onto the paper which stained it while your heart broke into two pieces.
Castiel stood outside your house hearing your cries due to his supernatural hearing a sad expression on his face and a few tears make their way down his face. This possibly being one of the emotional hard things he has to do.
"Goodbye, Miss.Y/N. I hope one day I can see you again." whispered Castiel before he flew away and returned to Heaven
That day though never came until now and it wasn't in the way Castiel had wished for or wanted. The day that Castiel finally got to see you again was your funeral.
At least Castiel got one of his wishes, your death wasn't a bloody one it was a natural one. You had lived to be 90 before your passing. Castiel hasn't been to Earth since he met you back in 1869 and the only reason he heard you were gone is because over heard your name being said over the intercom of entering souls. Castiel's heart had sped up at the news before he flew down to Earth to see if it was in fact you. Angels weren't allowed to visit the human's own personal Heaven worlds unless you were high up or had authority to so this was his best option. When he got down there he had found his fears to be true you are gone and there is no hope that the two of you will be together...at least in this life that is. Castiel always would clutch onto that little hope that some version of him got a better life with you.
Castiel stood letting his tears flow freely down his face as sobs threaten to rake his body with one thought running through his head.
I wish I was living in that another life.