Prologue
I have always been Tracy's little sister. I have never been someone on my own, my own personality. I was always compared to her, because she was perfect & I wasn't. I think that was the reason for many things that happened in my life.
But, we should start now, in this moment. I'm lying in a hospital bed. My hands are tied up & I can't move. My twin Ben is sitting on the edge of my bed, playing with the covers. My Dad sits on the other side, looking outside the window. My mom sits on a chair in the corner right next to the window. Tracy walks up & down, can't rest, even when her little sister is in hospital. Don't stand still, or you'll get fat or lose your mind. Actually, I don't want to ask, but I have to or we'll be stuck in this moment forever. I turn my head & look at Ben. "Ben? What happened?' I ask. He looks at me, his eyes glowing, now that I'm back. My dad looks up, turns his head in my direction. Tracy stops walking, stands till for a second, and then starts walking again. My mom gets up. Everyone is looking at me. I open my mouth to ask again. 'You collapsed over the toilet, while purging, Emily' my dad looks at me. What should I say? Officially, I was in recovery and supposed to get better. I wasn't but that's not the point. The point is that I was supposed to be recovered. My family needs me to get better. Because Tracy screwed up ten years ago and they can't have more problems. They just can't take it. The door opens and the doctor & another woman rush in. The last words I hear before my family leaves are 'Admit her, she needs it'. Then they just leave. My brother gets up, my dad rushes out; my mom grabs Tracy's arm & leaves. I'm alone. The doctor & the woman follow them, leaving me alone. I'm fucking alone.