"What's your worst nightmare," he whispered as he took another step, leading the dance.
"To turn into my father," she answered, swaying their bodies to the gentle music. Her hand was placed on his shoulder while his was on her waist. And their other paired together, finger laced. "Nothing could be worse."
"Understandable."
"How about you?" She asked as they took another step. "Do we share the same? Because I have a feeling we do?"
He chuckled as he let her spin. "Talk about outrageous things in common." Smiles were exchanged and the atmosphere was nothing less but perfect. "But no."
The woman raised an eyebrow, smirking playfully. "Oh, really now?"
"What is it then?"
She was merely having a banter, but the man had a solemn expression on his face. He was glancing down, eyes fixed on their steps, deep in thought. "For now, my nightmare would be that one day," he leaned in and touched her forehead with his, gazing right in her eyes, "this dream would end."
"That I'd lose you," he finished, dreading that he even had to say those words.
She was taken back by his confession but slowly a smile made its way to her lips as she pressed them to his faintly, but it was enough for him to close his eyes at the affection. Then she whispered her response to his lips. "That would never happen."
The couple slowly opened their eyes as the woman promised to him with the ghost of a smirk lurking on her lips. "I intend to keep you."
That made a grin erupt from the man's lips and a small laugh followed as he turned her, pressing the woman's back to his front as he swayed her to the beat of the song. "I can only hope."
He turned her once more. This time with his hand on her cheek and the other on her waist, keeping her close. Her hands reaching to hold his face in her own hands. His eyes met hers and no moment could ever be more perfect. He whispered out their oaths to one another before he reached down to for another kiss. "You're mine and I'm yours."
Loki woke up in cold sweat. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. He sat up from his bed and placed his head in his hands, feeling the familiar tears make their way down his cheeks. The same memory has been haunting him ever since he had that talk with her. It started as something beautiful, something to be thankful for. That, at least, in a dream, he was still with her. But after a few days have passed, it became a painful reminder. That that memory was only a memory and it will only happen in his dreams from now on. And that there was a chance that he'll only experience it in his dream. And he knows there was nothing worse than that.
__________
Loki walked toward the hallways, meeting his brother who was talking to Valkyrie and Bruce. The two said their greeting and Thor had a good look on his brother. He placed hand on his shoulder and inspected his face while Loki only looked at him questioningly. But Thor could see the dark circles under his eyes. "You look tired, brother."
"Did you not sleep well? A nightmare?" Thor asked again, to which Loki only smiled and shook his head. "A dream actually."
Thor have just gotten more confused but sometimes Loki does that to him so he only nodded. He then continued about the conversation he was having with Valkyrie and Bruce, eager to let his brother join the conversation but Loki politely refused. "Excuse me, I have somewhere to be."
"Where are you going, Loki?" Bruce asked, curious as to what Loki was rushing to go.
"Probably off to see the queen," Valkyrie teased with her arms crossed on top of her chest.
"And what if I am?" Loki raised an eyebrow at the woman who only chuckled at him before he turned and went on with his way. He always had a comeback. But Loki had already come to terms. Dreams will stay dreams. But if he doesn't do anything, being with the love of his life will only be a memory and fantasy.
"Good luck then!" Thor called out to which Loki didn't bother to turn but he only waved. Thor then muttered to the two, attention fixed on Loki's retreating form as he wondered what triggered his brother to pursue the queen again when he has gave her some space for a while after that thing that happened with Mila. Not that he stopped but it was expcetionally less that when they first came here. It was almost as if he set his own limit. "He's spending a lot of time with the queen," Thor muttered.
"You mean trying," Valkyrie chuckled. Yeah, he was spending time with her but it wasn't like Queen [Y/N] interested when he does. Val would even bet that he was just annoying her.
"Maybe he's trying to get back on lost time?" Thor shrugged, defending Loki's side a bit.
"It's more likely that he's just trying to get back on her good side." Val rolled her eyes, knowing that was just what Loki was trying to do. She just can't say that it appears to be working.
"Hey, Thor? Don't take this the wrong way but, " Bruce finally spoke out as he was brooding just a moment later. His tone was careful and hushed and Thor could only guess why it would be. "You don't think this is another one of Loki's schemes, do you?"
That made Thor think for a bit. Thor only shrugged when he found no answer. Loki has changed and he knows his brother much more now but he still has no idea honestly. "To be honest, I'm not even sure."
But then he perked, finding his point. "But I do know one thing, I've never seen him this eager and hell-bent on having someone's forgiveness." Thor then glance back to where Loki disappeared to.This was a clear rare event. He just saw it happen and he couldn't believe it.
"Never even seen him have interest in women before," he then shrugged again and shyly whispered out the next words, kinda embarrassed to impart his thoughts. "Actually thought he liked animals for sometime actually," he confessed to which Val only squinted at him.
"But I see him like this over a woman, he always looks smitten and dazed every time she's in the room, he always smiles when he sees her, he looks at her like how father looked at mother back then, maybe even more. Kinda reminds me of what I was like with Jane," he said almost wistfully with the ghost of a smile in his lips as he remembered.
"Just with those, I could say that maybe, we've caught one of those rare occasions where he's genuine." Thor nodded, feeling pride for his brother. Loki has changed.
"Loki asking for someone's forgiveness and being in love," Bruce repeated with a look of shock plastered on his face. "I thought I'd never see the day. "
"You're talking to the person who once thought his own brother likes snakes because he kept turning into one. Then finding out that he has a secret lover that is the queen of a forbidden realm. Imagine my shock!" Thor laughed out. He could remember when they were only ten and Loki has just mastered how to shape shift into animals. And as a child, he was too imaginative for his own good, fortunately, that wasn't the case for Loki.
They continued their conversation, the subject going towards Asgard, Aikenheim, and even just what they remembered from Sakaar when a familiar woman has crossed paths with them and bowed.
"King Thor, Lady Valkyrie, Sir Banner," Handmaiden Mila greeted with the usual politeness. She then turned her head side to side as if to check the halls for something. Thor followed her but he saw nothing and the woman smiled as she released a sigh in relief. "I see your good for nothing brother is not with you, what a relief. My day is saved."
Thor's polite smile for the woman dropped. He thought she wasn't going to mention Loki but he guesses she just has to. Mila's own expression dropped when she realized what that meant. "But then, that would mean he's most likely bothering my queen and I honestly do not know which is worse."
"Aren't you being too rash on my brother?" Thor finally spoke out, irritation hanging onto his words but he was trying not to show it. He then shrugged, keeping this conversation light. "I mean, it is not you who he has wronged."
"He has wronged my dearest queen," Mila deadpanned, defending her side. She knew that she was right and she knew that if Thor was listening to all she has said before then he'd understand what's real. "I have every right to keep my wrath."
"Wrath, huh? He must've done something incredibly horrible to deserve that," Val piped, getting more and more curious of the sorry as it progressed. If this handmaiden really did know what she's saying, then she must know so many reasons to hate Loki other than the ones she's told them before. And Val really wants to know it. "What did Loki do?"
Mila smirked and dryly chuckled. "What didn't he do?"
Her smirk dropped and expression completely turned when Val raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to say more. "He was about to be king," she started, disdain dripping from her words.
"Even if when a queen marries, the husband would only be a prince and never a king, she was willing to break that for him."
"For she knew how much he wanted to be king and my Queen [Y/N], being ever so kind as she was, she was prepared to do it." Thor kept his mouth shut and listened. It sounded like his brother and if they really did have something, surely she'd let him have something like that. "But your brother just had to ruin it for the both of them and crush my queen's heart in the process."
"Now he comes in here, and tries to do it again?" Mila's forehead creased as she slowly felt her anger get to her. But she dropped her shoulders and kept her head high. Considering the look on Thor's face, she knew she made a point. "Forgive me for being too rash on someone who deserve every bit of my hatred."
"He has changed. I bear witness of it," Thor defended, his face stoic as he has had enough of the woman's sharp tongue.
"Sadly, I have not." Mila shook her head and a smile on her face just made her response more insulting. "I only happen to know why he's buttering up my queen once again."
"He wants to be king and that's it," Mila pressed, firmly believing what she has seen. She has seen what he's doing and heard what he has done. People like him don't change. "He's using my queen as a bridge to get the title that he wants."
That was when Thor really had enough. He took a step forward, his forehead creased. "Now, you've crossed the line. Loki has changed. If it wasn't for him, my people would've never escaped. He has long passed his obsession to be a king."
Mila only shrugged and smiled sweetly that it irritated Val. "Really? Does that sound like him?"
"Yes, it does," Thor answered quickly.
"Well, King Thor," Mila nodded, walking towards the group and her usual practiced voice was back. "You have your opinion and I have mine."
"I do not wish to ruin your brother to you," Mila explained while Thor deadpanned on the woman. "I have no reason to do so but also none to lie."
"But remember," she trailed, still not finished with what she was saying even when Thor wished she would just stop talking.
"It is in his nature. He's the God of Mischief and Lies," Mila muttered just enough for them too hear. She walked towards Thor's side and kept her eyes straight before she whispered lowly. "What more can you expect?"
That was her last words before she continued to walk until she was out of sight while Thor, Val and Bruce was left to stare.
"That handmaiden really has a mouth," Bruce spoke out just as Mila was out of range. Thor grunted as he grated his teeth. "I'd like to remove it."
Val only let out a laugh, enjoy every moment of this drama."I would agree but this is far too entertaining for me."
_________
"Hello," Loki greeted the bunch of kids who all surrounded [Y/N]. She appeared to be reading them a book in the palace garden and he just interrupted the storytelling.
"Prince Loki!" The children chorused excitedly, having to have taken liking to him as he always showed them his tricks, "Hello!"
His eyes moved towards [Y/N] who blankly looked at him. His gaze moved towards her hand to see that she conjuring some of her magic and the book wasn't for mere stories but for spells. A smile made its way to his lips. "I see we are doing tricks."
"Would you like to see a trick?" He asked and the kids' eyes lit up at what they heard. They quickly stood up and ran to the prince, hugging and tugging for him.
"Yes!" They all shouted. Loki laughed a bit, knowing he was overpowered. But then his gaze landed on the stoic form of the queen as she wordlessly watched the children. Loki smiled and she didn't make a reaction and just averted her gaze from him, just like what she was doing for the last couple of days.
Loki took a deep breath before he forced a smile on his lips and tried to calm down the children by gesturing to [Y/N] that made them look. "Of course, I cannot perform without direct approval from the queen."
[Y/N]'s expression fell to a frown when all the kids quickly went to the queen, pleading to see one of Loki's famous tricks. They all pleaded and a smile found its way to [Y/N]'s lips as the children kept giving her the puppy eyes. She glanced up to Loki and smirked. "You never know when to stop, do you?"
The smirk she had on warmed Loki's heart and made him laugh a bit. "I thought you knew me."
The kids kept asking and [Y/N] wasn't going through with it but she sighed in defeat, she was outnumbered. "Go ahead then, show us a trick."
The kids all cheered and clapped. [Y/N] laughed at how enthusiastic they were. They all sat beside her as they watched Loki stand up in front of them, preparing a trick. He first started by showing that there was nothing in his hands while [Y/N] only rolled her eyes at his devotion to theatrics.
A green magic enveloped his hand and a single seed appeared in his hands. He held it up and the children all clapped and stared in awe while [Y/N] only stared in disbelief and laughed a bit. Is he serious? "A seed?" [Y/N] asked, her tone eye as she looked at him in mockery. He could do so much yet he only thought of a seed.
Loki laughed and smirked. He loved challenges and she should've known better than to expect that was all he'd do. "Look closely."
"WOAH!!!" The children gasped in unison as the seed cracked and glowed green with Loki's magic. A seedling quickly grew and then a bud sprouted that bloomed to a beautiful rose in the palm of his hand. The children all scrambled to take a closer look as they giggled and stared at the flower, completely in awe at the magic.
"Is that it?" [Y/N] spoke out from all cheering. She had her arms crossed, unimpressed. She had seen him do better, much better. And she knew how much of a diva the man was. That flower growing cannot be the whole of it.
"I can pull flowers from thin air and so can you," [Y/N] chuckled as they motioned to the both of them. They have practiced their craft together before. And she has seen him do such impressive magic and this cannot be it. Loki only kept a smile as he kept his gaze at her, entertained that she was essentially challenging him. "Even these kids can do what you did in only a week's practice."
That made Loki laugh, her wit was still sharp as ever. "Perhaps they can." Loki shrugged, agreeing. [Y/N] raised an eyebrow at him, knowing that he was never one to just back down. Once she saw him smirk and glance up, she knew he already had something in mind. "But can they do this?"
Loki stepped forward, kneeling in front of the queen as she looked down on him, hiding her confusion with a hard glare. He only chuckled before he removed a single petal from the rose, brought it to his lips, whispered a few words of enchantment and a bit of green magic envelopes the flower for a moment. He glanced towards [Y/N] for a second before blowing onto the petal, sending it to drift upwards.
As the lone petal made its way higher and higher up to the sky, it glowed before it exploded, sending hundreds of flowers to rain down the sky without end. The children all cheered and quickly stood up to play at the beauty of their surroundings, leaving the two alone.
[Y/N] watched her surroundings in awe, she softly gasped. "The old exploding flower trick," she whispered before the inevitable smile made its way to her lips. She glanced to the kneeling prince in front of her and clapped her hands. "Well done."
"A classic, isn't it?" Loki smiled, standing up to catch a flower that was slowly falling. He handed it over to [Y/N] who smiled wider as she took the rose, adoring the thing and the beautiful sight around her. Flowers were slowly falling from the sky and it created a breathtaking sight, one she hasn't seen in ages.
"I never thought I'd see it again," she whispered out in complete awe, admiring the intricate petals with wonder. She placed her gaze back to the man who has been watching her reaction the whole time, enjoying the view as if it would be taken away from him at any moment. "I never thought I'd see you again," Loki chuckled, not being able to hold his tongue. "Aren't we both glad to be wrong?"
The smile dropped from her lips and her heat sank at what she heard. "Loki." The look on him made her chest feel tight.
"[Y/N], please, listen to me," Loki pleaded as [Y/N] stood up, ready to leave. But what she heard made her stop in her tracks. She can be running again, she could and she should but somehow she didn't. Deep down, she wanted to stay.
She turned to him as he took a step closer, her eyebrow furrowed as he tried to make her understand. Once she hears what happened, she'd understand. She just had to listen. "If you'd just listen, you'd understand. I know you would."
"Loki, stop. I don't-" [Y/N] tried so hard to not meet his gaze, knowing that she may crumble if she does. She was avoiding to have a conversation with him for this reason. She didn't want to be weak.
"Here, you can check," he reached for her hand and pressed it to his head, bowing slightly, keeping his eyes closed. He was letting her check his memories, a trick he has learn directly from her. He let her have full control over him. "Everything is in there, I promise, if you can't believe me."
"Loki, stop." [Y/N] tried to pull her hand back but Loki didn't let her. Instead, he kept her hand to hers. She only stared at him pitifully, seeing how desperate he was to convince her when she didn't need to be. "I don't need to."
Loki felt his world crash down and his heart sunk to his stomach. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips, calming himself with her presence even when it was only borrowed. He pressed her palm to his cheek, carving the feeling of her to his brain. "I understand that things can never be the same."
The memories that haunted him every night ran in his mind again and again. He just needed her back. He was going crazy in longing. He slowly glanced up and smiled, eyes brimming with tears. "But am I so wrong to think that it can?"
"I mean, can't we try?" Loki asked again, cracking another piece off of her heart.
"Loki..." she trailed, gently running her thumb to his cheek. If only, she'd forgive him. But after everything, that wasn't as easy as anyone would think. "I really wish I can trust you."
Loki bitterly chuckled, putting down her hand from his cheek. "So do I."
"But the damage has been done," [Y/N] explained. Disappointment was clear in Loki as she took a few steps back from him. "And when the smoke cleared," she went on, dusting herself, smiling sadly, "you can't expect everything to come out fine."
"I'm sorry," she finally said, her eyebrows furrowed. She meant it. She was truly sorry but she couldn't say that she wanted it. She bowed, only in respect and courtesy. She didn't want this to be any harder for the both of them.
[Y/N] turned, ready to make yet another escape. The breathtaking sight of her leaving with beautiful flowers slowly falling from the sky. It moved him enough to blurt out the words he was desperately keeping inside. "I love you."
[Y/N] stopped, her breath getting caught up to her throat, eyes bulging and a shiver ran up her spine. Loki took that as an opportunity to continue. He stepped closer and whispered just enough for her to hear. "I still do."
"You don't know what you're saying," she murmured after a while, not even bothering to turn around.
"Yes, I do. I still love you, even after all these years," Loki repeated, strutting closer to the woman and blocking her way, reaching for her arm. This time rather than desperate, he was determined. "Don't tell me you're just going to forget everything we've had."
[Y/N] removed his hold from his arrm. "I can and I will. Everything is merely a fog now anyways."
"Then let me."
"Let what-" [Y/N] started but Loki reached for her head and placed his hand to her head. Her mouth opened as she was forced into a trance. Loki scanned her mind, flashing their memories before her eyes. Everything they've shared, how they met, how they bonded and how they fell in love. It all happened so fast. Every moment she spent with him and even ones where she longed for him, how she mourned, how she was hurt. It was all there and it was too much.
[Y/N] pushed him away hard, sending him flying a few feet. Her knees gave out on her, air was knocked out of her lungs, tears invaded her vision. She quickly grabbed hold of the nearest thing beside her to stabilize herself, there was a pain in her temple that was slowly spreading but it was no match for the growing numbness she felt in her chest.
Loki's heart fell to his stomach once he realized what he's done. It just happened. It just popped into his mind and then before he know it, he could see the moments she shared with him. Even the ones that she spent thinking of him after he left, ones that gutted his heart just to know existed. His eyes bulged and worry ran through his veins. He stepped closer as he saw her struggle to catch her breath. "I went too far. My beloved, are you alright?"
"Don't make me fight you in front of children," she hissed, keeping her glance on the ground. She raised her head and her eyes held death in them but her tears told a different story.
[Y/N] rose up and faced him, jaw clenched and damn near close to letting her tears betray her. "I suggest you hold that silver tongue of yours before you cross the line."
One look on him, seeing that he himself was hurt of all this triggered something. She pushed him, resolve being pushed to the corners of her mind. He caused all of this, he has no right to be hurt. She glared at him and pointed an accusing finger. "I'm trying so hard to be civil with you for the sake of both our people."
"But you can't even see that I'm trying to forget. And you just keep- you just keep..." her teeth was clenched, her eyes were shut tight, her hands were balled into fists, shaking as she tried to control herself. She looked like she was forcing to keep everything inside, like any moment she'd just burst and break down. Why won't he just let her forget?
Loki didn't know what to do. He has never seen this reaction from her. He was never the reason she cried back then. But now that he is, he felt like being gutted just watching her slowly lose herself. He stepped forward and did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped her arms around her, one around her waist, hand lying flat on her back while the other hand to her neck to keep him close to her.
"I'm sorry." That was all he could say. His words were shaky, his own tears were threatening to fall. The whole ambience around them just made it worse. But for a moment there, it was better. She was in his arms and he felt her relax, making him wrap his arms around her tighter. Her hands slowly unclenched and made its way up. In that second, Loki thought she was going to hug him back, but then she took his hands and slowly placed them down.
Loki was confused, but his chest ached when he saw her expression become blank. "I overreacted, my apologies," she deadpanned.
"The past is in the past. This was not worth anything," she whispered, not bothering to meet his eyes. "Excuse me."
"[Y/N]." He watched her walk away from him, not being able to count how many times she's done that. Somethings never changed, she always would walk away from problems that she couldn't solve, especially emotional ones. He could only remember how she reacted when they started having feelings for each other back then. He always admired her for her intelligence and decisiveness but her stubbornness was always endearing.
"And I thought I was great at holding back my feelings," he smiled weakly as he shook his head, chuckling to himself as he watched her go.