Hi, Thank you so much if you're reading this! I've recently rediscovered my motivation for this story but I can only write in my free time so not all updates will be as quick as this. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 12☼
I woke up to the bright white lights of the hospital, and Austin sitting stiffly in a chair by the corner. I was in a hospital bed in the emergency room, with an IV hooked up to my arm. I was aching but feeling better.
"Austin," I croaked. His eyes flicked to me and he sat right up.
"You're awake!" he quietly exclaimed as he came to the side of the bed. "Elodie, what the fuck happened to you?"
"Please, don't worry about it. It's not a big deal." I said tiredly. I already felt like too many people knew about what was going on. Leah's family was one thing, and then it became the teachers, guidance counselors, and now Austin. I was doing a poor job of protecting my family.
"Not a big deal?! Look at yourself, El. You're battered and concussed." He was right, I could feel the tight gauze bandage wrapped around my head and my arms and legs ached. But he didn't understand that it wasn't her fault. Anybody would do what she did if they were in her shoes.
"You wouldn't understand," I muttered.
"The hell I wouldn't understand! Did your mom do this? Is she abusing you Elodie?" He was asking me rapid-fire questions that I couldn't begin to figure out how to answer. "We had to tell the nurses you were my sister so they wouldn't ask about your parents. This is fucked up Elodie, if your mom is hurting you you can't keep protecting her. Just tell me the truth!"
"It's not like that!" I cried. "She doesn't mean to do it! Its not--"
"Then what does she mean to do?!" He snapped. I looked at him with tears welling in my eyes. How could I explain? I could see in his eyes he was angry but only because he cared. It almost reminded me of my mother's eyes; there was anger, but something else too. Only for her it was anger and fear, sadness, and disappointment. I could picture her eyes and they were cold. But Austin's were warm with feeling, and it was for me. I didn't know what to do. I turned my crying eyes to look at the crisp, white linoleum. It was all too much for me.
"Elodie?" a voice called from the hall by the waiting room. I looked up from the white linoleum ground to see the doctor standing there, looking at me. I turned to my grandma and she nodded before guiding me to stand up. "Hi," he continued. "You can see your mother now, sweetheart." Grandma draped her hand on my shoulder to comfort me as we followed the doctor down the hallway. He looked back at me with a sad smile. "She's been asking to see you for days but we had to make sure she was stable before you could come in." I nodded and quietly walked behind him as we entered the room.
There she was, laying in bed, bandaged around her head and with casts on a few of her limbs. She was in bad, bad shape, but I was happy to see her. She was laying back with her eyes closed, but I could tell she wasn't asleep.
"Mom?" I called, and she perked up to look at me.
"Elodie?" She replied, lighting up as she sat up from the pillow. I hurried to her side to give her a hug.
"Mom, I missed you so much!" I cried, warm tears soaking her hospital gown. She held me tight and nuzzled her face into my shoulder. I could tell she was smelling my hair.
"Oh my baby, I missed you too! But I'm here now, I'm right here." She squeezed me again before pulling away. With her hands on my shoulders she looked at me and I could see tears gathering in her warm, brown eyes. I was already crying too. But then her expression slowly turned. And she began to rub the ends of my hair nervously and with suspicion. "Elodie..." She started to say, trailing off as she studied my hair. When she looked back to me her stare was cold. I had never seen that look on her face before, and definitely not directed towards me.
"...Mom?" I quietly asked, becoming slightly afraid.
"You're not my Elodie," she whispered.
"What?"
"You're not my Elodie!" She shoved me away. My mother had never put her hands on me like that. I didn't know what to do. The doctors began closing in on us.
"Elodie, please step away." The doctor instructed as he moved to calm my mother. I started backing away to return to my grandma but I couldn't take my eyes off of my mother.
"Get her away from me!! That girl is not my daughter!!" She screamed, beginning to writhe in her hospital bed.
"Calm down, Ms. Greaves!" The doctor shouted, trying to restrain her. Her wild arms came loose from his grip and she grabbed for the flower vase on the bedside table.
"GET OUT!!" She screamed again, hurling the vase at me. It hit my shoulder and shattered on my upper arm, ceramic shards catching in my skin. I screamed as my grandmother pulled me into the hallway. We hurried down the hallway to the waiting room, and as we ran I could hear my mother's screams growing only slightly fainter. I couldn't stop from crying. My grandma was holding me, careful not to touch my arm, and petting my hair.
"It's alright Elodie, everything's alright..."
"Elodie."
I looked up from the floor. Austin was still looking at me, but his gaze had softened. "Elodie, I'm sorry. I came on too harsh. Please, let me help you. I need to know what's going on." He was pleading with me. My mother lost the kindness in her eyes that day, but as I looked at his, the warmth never wavered. He cared about me. He didn't want me to get hurt.
"Austin--" I started, trying to find a way to start.
"Elodie, before you tell me 'no' again I just want you to know that everything is going to be okay. I know what you're going through and you aren't alone." I could see now that his care was coming from a place of pain. What had he been through?
"I know," I said, trying to sound sure. "I just, I need you to bear with me if I'm going to talk to you about this. And you can't tell your dad."
"Are you kidding?!" He began to get worked up again.
"Austin, please."He looked at me again and got quiet. I knew he was ready to listen. "My mom is... mentally ill. She hits me but it's not her fault. This is gonna sound crazy but my mom thinks that I'm somebody else." His eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but when he saw my pained expression he solemnly closed it. I continued. "When I was fourteen my mom and I were in a car accident, and she suffered serious brain damage. The trauma caused her to develop this thing called Capgras Disorder, which makes her think that I'm someone pretending to be her daughter instead of me being her actual daughter. She thinks that Elodie is gone and I'm an impostor trying to trick her."
"So why do you live with her? Where's your dad?" He asked in disbelief.
"My parents have been separated since I was a baby. It was a shotgun wedding sort of thing and it didn't last long. I used to see him sometimes when I was younger, but by the time I was eleven or twelve I never saw him and I haven't seen him since. He doesn't know anything about the accident or any of this. He just sends money every month so we can cover the bills and I've worked to make up the rest of it so he never found out."
"And other relatives?"
"My mom is an only child. I was staying with my grandma while my mom was in recovery but she passed away soon after. Child Protective Services checked in from time to time in the year following the accident, but my mom was on meds then and she was doing well. At least when they were around she was a functioning mother, but she still wasn't the same."
"El, I know there are ways you could have gotten out of that house. She's been out to kill you for almost four years! Why haven't you tried to get out?!"
"Austin," I started, choking back some tears that threatened to return. "My mom is all that I have." He looked at me not with pity, but with sympathy. He was sad that I was hurting, and I'd forgotten what that kind of connection felt like. He sighed.
"You want to stay with her?" He asked. I nodded. "El, she nearly put you in a coma. Please think about this." He was right. My own mother knocked me down the stairs, gave me a black eye, and kicked me out into the snow. But I couldn't leave her.
"She's my mother," I cried quietly. Austin looked into my eyes and said, "Is she?" I looked up at him, dumbfounded. Of course she was, I wanted to say to him. But when I thought about the woman who was at my house, with her scrawny, nervous body and disheveled gray hair, It wasn't my mother at all. I didn't want to say he was right, but when I looked up at him to reply all that came out were sobs, and he had his answer. He pulled me to his chest and gave me a tight hug as I cried and cried.
"I won't tell my dad," he said. "But promise me you'll stay with us until you recover."
I could hear his heart pounding with my head against his chest. "Okay."