Chapter One (Jesse’s POV)
“Ah dammit!” I yell out in frustration as I pace around my room while trying to avoid the boxes that clutter my bedroom floor.
I am regretting saying I would move across the country to live with my aunt, Emily. I truly believe military school would be better than moving to Portland. At least I would get to stay here in sunny Florida, than wet, cold Portland. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting on the weather, but still I would much rather stay in Florida. I can’t believe my dad had agreed to send me off like that. He should have just let me go to military school. After what I did I don’t deserve to have my life easy anymore. If anything I should suffer, god only knows what Holly went through or still is going through. However, not even he wants me here, if he did he wouldn’t have been so quick to send me away. I kick a stack of boxes. I watch as they fall over and my books scatter across the floor.
“Crap,” I bend down and start to pick up the books and place them back into the box.
Just as I am about to place the last book back into the box I stop. It is the book Holly got me for my birthday. It was a book I would have never considered reading, but for some reason she thought I would enjoy the book. Thinking back to that day, Holly was more excited about the book than I was. Even though it wasn’t the type of books I like to read, I still read it because she got it for me. She was right, I did enjoy the book. ‘See Jay I told you, and you said it was a girl book, but it isn’t just for girls. Just so you know there is like four other books in the series. We should go get them.’
I smile as I remember that day like it was yesterday. My fourteen year old sister got me to buy the whole series. I still remember the look the girl at the checkout had when she saw me buying the books. The way she smiled at me and told me she had never seen a guy buy those books, not even as a gift for someone else. What a fool I was to fall for that smile, it only led to trouble and me losing my sister. That was the day I met my cheating ex-girlfriend Alyson. She was everything I wanted in a girlfriend, but that was all an act and I was dumb enough to fall for it. I place the book in the box and close it just as my mom walks in.
“Are you almost done packing everything? The movers will be here later in the afternoon.” She asks as she looks around my nearly empty room.
I nod my head without looking at her. She really wants me gone from her life; she is sending everything I have to my Aunt Emily’s place. Once I leave I could no longer call it home, not even my dad wants my stuff at his place or more like his new girlfriend, Willow, doesn’t. I know right? Willow that’s a type of tree. Since my parents’ divorce a few months ago, I hadn’t seen much of my dad. He would much rather spend all his time with his twenty-seven year old girlfriend than his only son. Deep down, I truly believe my mom blames me for my dad leaving her as well. Who would want to stay in a home with a troubled teenager? Now our relationship is even more strain than it was when Holly went missing. It wasn’t always like this, before all this happened we were a happy family.
We all took it hard especially my mom; she started drinking and I didn’t help the situation much when I started to get into trouble in school. When she got the call about me being kicked out of school for the sixth time, she had enough. She had been drinking when she got the call from the school, so by the time I got home she was wasted and beyond pissed. I never even saw the first punch coming, nor do I really remember what happened after that. All I remember was waking up and feeling like I just got ran over. It was also one of the reasons my father wants to send me to my aunt’s. Even though he doesn’t show it often, I know he is worried of what would become of me if I stay with my mom.
“Look Jesse,” here it goes, her little speech about sending me away. “We are only doing this because it’s what is best for you. If you stay here you will just continue to get in trouble and at the rate you are going, no school in Florida will have you. Then, you are just going to be a high school dropout and you would just be living with me for the rest of your life.”
There it is; the real reason I am being sent away. She fears I will stay around and be the constant reminder that I’m the reason Holly is gone. I should stay quiet and just agree with her, she is pretty calm right now. If I talk back to her right now, I’m not sure what she might do, but it just isn’t my nature to let things slide.
“Seriously, mom it’s what’s best for me or is it more like what’s better for you?”
She stares at me as if I had grown a second head. Her eyes are bloodshot; she is already hitting the bottle. Now I was certain things wouldn’t go good for me.
“I don’t know what you mean by that. Why would it be better for me?” She asks calmly and it irks me.
I should let it go but I can’t. I laugh and shake my head. I get off the floor and go up to her; I stand face to face with her.
“Oh come off it mom! We both know you don’t want me here, the very thought of having to put up with me alone makes your skin crawl! If dad hadn’t left you, then I wouldn’t have to leave. Then again I don’t blame him for leaving you; I wouldn’t want to put up with a bitter old drunk shrew like you either!” I shout at her, her face twists in anger.
She raises her hand and slaps me across the face, causing my head to jerk to the side. I am pretty sure I am going to have a bruise; I move my jaw side to side and rub my cheek.
“Feels good doesn’t, but of course we all know you would like to do more than just slap me? Just admit it, not a day goes by you don’t wish it was me that disappeared instead of Holly. However since you can’t, you’re doing the next best thing.” I smirk at her as she clenches her fist. I should stop, but I am on a roll and it is going to be my only chance to say what I want to say to her. “Maybe you will get lucky and the plane will crash, then all your problems will be solved.”
“It still wouldn’t bring Holly back, but at least I would be rid of you. Unfortunately some of us aren’t as lucky for our wishes to come true. Maybe your aunt, Emily, can get through to you, because we all know how screwed up you are. After all it’s what she does best, making a living helping the mentally screw up. I mean you would have to be mentally screw up to forget you own sister like that.” She says and walks closer to me. The alcohol on her breath is churning my stomach. I am surprise she can stand on her own with how much she reeks of booze. “What was so damn important that day you forgot to pick her up?”
I think back to that day and nothing was really important. That is why I never told anyone where I really was that day. They would hate me even more than they already do; I hate myself for being so stupid.
“Like I told you I was busy with school work that I got behind on and lost track of time. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“When you tell me the truth, you have never had to stay after school to catch up with school work. So where were you really?” I turn my back to her and go back to packing. “Yeah that’s right just turn your back to me and ignore me, be the little coward that you are.”
I snort back, clapping my hands as I turn to face her.
“Bravo it’s about time you told me how you really feel about me. Now I won’t feel bad telling you this, always knew you are jealous of Aunt Emily. She is after all the prettier, younger sister, and the favorite of your parents. Then again she is more likeable than you. I bet even dad liked her better than you, but unfortunately, he got stuck with you.” I say, but I regret it as soon as I am slam hard against the wall.
I wince at the pain I feel in the back of my head. I stare back at my mom, tears began to build from the pain, but I am not going to let them spill. I am not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing how easily she can hurt me.
“You ungrateful arrogant little bastard, what the hell gives you the right to speak to me like that?”She grabs my chin roughly digging her nails into my skin. “Just remember I gave you life and I can take it away. You should be lucky that I haven’t done it yet. Now finish packing, the sooner you finish the sooner I can be rid of you.” She lets go of my chin and walks out of my room shutting the door behind her.
I lock the door and let myself sink down to the floor and let the tears out. I don’t want her coming in and finding me crying. I am stuck here for another two days, another two days of living in this house with a person who hates me, who could easily kill me in my sleep, if she wanted too. Sometimes I really wish she would just end it all, the misery and pain I feel. I wish I could just leave this place right now, but I can’t. I have no real friends and no other family, but my dad. Of course, he doesn’t want me either, not as long as Willow is around. I am completely and utterly alone, I take a deep breath and wipe away the tears. I do the only thing I can do; finish packing and hope the next two days go by quickly.