Things just weren't quite the same after Spencer's passing, and Brendon knew it was unlikely that life would ever return to the way it was before.
Death was an uncommon subject to him. He'd never experienced losing a family member, or even a friend. He'd lived a normal life, free of the cold, terrifying grasp of Death, but now, even though he was still alive, he couldn't ignore the chilling feeling of Death's presence creeping up his spine.
Ryan wasn't the same, and Brendon didn't expect him to be. The poor kid could barely afford a casket, let alone a whole funeral ceremony for his father. He was broken, completely torn down and unable to be built back up again. Brendon despised seeing him so full of despair, but he didn't know what to do.
So two days after Spencer's passing, Brendon trekked down to the funeral home and spent the rest of his money to get Ryan's father cremated. It was the least he could've done.
Now, however, it was the very last day to pay off The Spotted Cat's debt, and Brendon hadn't received a single word from Jon or the loan sharks. Brendon hoped Jon had just taken care of it and paid the bank, but surely he would've heard, right? He hadn't heard anything at all, and it was beginning to make him nervous. In just a few short hours, The Spotted Cat would close its doors forever, and that was an easy thing to prevent. Brendon had won the poker game. The loan sharks had promised to pay off the debt, yet nothing had changed. The thought of him and Jon risking their safety and doing all that hard work for nothing made him sick.
He knew he never should've trusted those disgusting loan sharks.
He hadn't talked to Ryan about the night of the storm either, especially not after Brendon's fight with Earl. Sometimes his knuckles still ached at the memory of it, but he didn't regret it one bit. Earl had disrespected Ryan. He had hurt him, beat him, raped him. If Jon or the roaring of the ambulance hadn't stopped him, Brendon was certain he would've kept punching until he tore off all the skin on his fists.
He still wasn't sure what had come over him, too. He'd never felt such an intense and burning anger before in his life, nor had he ever been involved in a fight like that. There was a first time for everything, though, right? He had won his first poker game with none other than a royal flush, and he had almost beaten Earl's fat face to a bloody pulp. Good memories.
On the afternoon of the final dreadful day, Brendon sat alone at the kitchen table, the silence fueling his racing thoughts. There was nothing left for him to do, yet just sitting in his apartment and waiting for the official notice of foreclosure to be posted was agonizing. Why hadn't the loan sharks paid the debt like they'd promised? He'd won the poker game fair and square. They were wasting precious time, because Brendon wasn't sure if the bank would accept late payments. Time was ticking, and with every passing second, Brendon's patience was stripped away more and more. Soon enough, he was sure there would be nothing left.
Brendon wasn't even aware he was gnawing on his fingernails until he heard a soft voice coming from the doorway.
"Keep it up and ya won't have any nails left."
Ryan leaned against the doorframe, his hands stuffed in his pockets and a fragile half-smile adorning his face. He looked exhausted, drained of what little life he had left. Brendon wasn't even sure he knew the last time the poor kid had slept.
Still, he tried to steady his beating heart and retracted his hands. "It's a bad habit," he remarked, mustering up a small smile of his own.
Ryan nodded, pulling himself away from the doorframe to join Brendon at the table. His chair creaked in the stifling silence.
It had been so long since they had had a civil conversation. Brendon wasn't quite sure what to say to fill the void. The last time they had spoken, it ended with yelling, and most regrettably of all, an unexpected kiss. Brendon still shuddered every time he thought of it, but not necessarily in a bad way. He just didn't know if Ryan returned his feelings or not.
He tried to think of something else before his face turned redder than a tomato.
Ryan shifted, his tired eyes darting between Brendon and the table. "Is it okay if we talk for a minute?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Of course," Brendon replied. He was acting as nonchalant as he could, but on the inside, he couldn't have been more frantic and wild. Ryan was talking to him, and no one was yelling.
At least, no one was yelling yet. Brendon didn't want another repeat of that awful night.
Pursing his lips, Ryan kept his gaze locked on the table. He almost looked as if he didn't know what to say. "I know I was outta line the other day. Anyone could've realized that. I was just...." He paused, searching for the right words. "I was just so damn desperate to get money for The Spotted Cat. It blinded me. I wasn't in my right headspace. Now that I look back on it, though, I know it was about the stupidest decision I've ever made in my whole life."
Brendon stayed silent, listening to him as he spoke. He just wanted to hear his soft voice back to normal again.
"And I know it was wrong," Ryan went on, absentmindedly drawing patterns with his finger on the tabletop. "I almost got myself killed that one night, and if it wasn't for you, I don't know what would've happened to me. You probably saved my life, Brendon, and I thank you for that. I should thank you for everythin'. You've done so much for me, and I don't know how the hell to repay you for your kindness. I don't deserve it."
Brendon's stomach turned inside out inside his abdomen. He didn't know what to say. In a way, he wanted to be the one thanking Ryan for his kindness. He had taken Brendon in from the minute he stepped foot in The Spotted Cat. He wasn't discriminatory against the wheat. He accepted Brendon with open arms, and Brendon couldn't have asked for anything better.
"Of course ya do," Brendon said, his voice wavering. He was sure his face was beginning to turn red already. "I still care lots about ya, Ryan. It doesn't matter if we got into that nasty fight or not. That didn't change my opinion. I do agree that your decision was pretty stupid, but as long as ya admit your faults, it's okay. As long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me."
A faint smile tugged at Ryan's lips, his vacant gaze still fixated on the table. "So does that mean ya forgive me?" he asked, looking up to finally meet Brendon's eyes. It had been far too long since Brendon had seen his gorgeous caramel gaze.
"Yeah. I forgive ya."
This time, a more lively smile creeped onto Ryan's pale face, lighting up his eyes and making them seem to sparkle. Brendon loved seeing him smile like that. He wished he would do it more often.
"I suppose I should thank ya for the whole cremation thing, too." Ryan's tone suddenly shifted, his smile falling and his expression growing grim. "Ya didn't have to do it, but ya did. There ya go again with your kindness. God, Brendon, I don't think I'd still be on this planet if it wasn't for you."
"It was the least I could do," Brendon said with a shrug. "I wasn't gonna let ya never have some kind of memory of your pop."
The silence that followed was agonizing. The lighthearted mood that had filled the atmosphere mere moments before had suddenly dissipated without a trace. Now it was replaced with grim misfortune, and it seeped right through Brendon's skin and straight to his heart.
"Your pop was a good man," he murmured, his chest tightening as he saw the look of pure pain glimmering behind Ryan's tear-filled eyes. "The best, actually. I'd never met a happier, nicer, more welcomin' man in my entire life. The second I walked into The Spotted Cat and met him, I knew I'd come to the right place. I knew I'd made the right decision comin' to New Orleans. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind about that, and meetin' you only made everythin' better. You two were the power duo. I'd never seen a more lovin' family. Believe me on that."
Ryan smiled, a painful smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "He really was the best," he said, choking on his own words. "I still remember the day he first took me in. I was livin' in some special home for orphans after my parents died in the war. I thought I was gonna be stuck there forever, but then one day, this kind-lookin' man with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen walked through the front door. I remember him sayin' to the lady at the front desk, 'Good afternoon, miss. I'm lookin' to adopt, if that's all right. It's been lonely at my place recently.'"
Brendon couldn't help but smile. He could just picture Spencer walking into the orphanage with his good heart and pure intentions. He could just picture little Ryan with a cluster of other orphaned children, watching with curious eyes as a stranger said he planned to take one of them home. He could just imagine their excitement that day. It made his heart swell.
"He wandered around for a bit, chattin' with each and every one of us," Ryan continued. Brendon could almost see the memories dancing behind his eyes. "He liked all of us, I think. It's hard to walk into a foster place and take just one of the kids home, ya know? I know that'd be hard for me." He paused, taking a deep, trembling breath. "He must've liked me the best, though. I was one of the last little scamps he talked to, and I still remember how much his eyes lit up when he talked to me. It's hard to forget those kinds of things. God knows how long we sat there, just talkin' the day away, until he turned to the lady at the front desk again and said, 'I think Ryan's a good fit for me.' The rest is history."
Brendon twiddled his thumbs in his lap, unable to hide the evergrowing grin on his face. It was a sweet story, and he could picture it happening perfectly. Spencer brought Ryan into his life and turned it around for the better. Brendon couldn't even imagine what it would've been like to be an orphan, but he couldn't think of a better parent than Spencer to make a kid like that happy again. He truly was one of the best out there.
But now he was gone; the remembrance of it pricked at the lighthearted story and turned it back to the dismal reality at hand.
Ryan heaved a sigh, wiping a stray tear from his cheek as he looked up to meet Brendon's gaze. "I know we're gonna lose The Spotted Cat, Bren," he said softly, shattering the ringing silence. "We ran out of time. It hurts me to think about it, but I'm tryin' to stay positive. Ya might not believe me after our argument, but I trust ya. I really do. Life kinda sucks right now, but you've always taught me to find another solution, regardless if it's difficult or not. We'll figure somethin' else out together. I know we will."
Something pinched inside Brendon's chest at those words, like a bolt of guilt sent straight through his heart. Ryan still believed in him, even after all they'd been through. It almost brought a tear to Brendon's eye. They'd been through highs and lows, ups and downs, and everything in between, and not once did the unbreakable trust seem to leave. It was like the universe wanted them together, and it was willing to do anything to keep them that way.
But Ryan had mentioned finding another solution. Brendon was usually able to come up with something to fix their problems, but he didn't even know where to begin with the dilemma at hand. He had done his best to pay off the debt, but he couldn't control those loan sharks. He didn't know how to handle the grief of losing Spencer. He wasn't a miracle worker. He was a human being, and that was the part he hated the most. He wanted to pay off the jazz club's debt with a snap of his fingers. He wanted to help Ryan through his grief, but he just couldn't. He could only do so much; the rest of it was far out of his control.
He needed to get some air before the overwhelming guilt swallowed him whole.
"Where ya goin'?" Ryan asked as Brendon stood to leave. "I didn't say anythin' wrong, did I?"
"No, of course not," Brendon reassured him. He could barely breathe anymore. The air was too thick, and he was choking on his own sense of guilt. "I just need some air. I'll be back in a few minutes. I promise."
Ryan nodded. "All right," he said quietly. He stood, as well, and before Brendon could leave the kitchen, Ryan stepped forward to plant a kiss on his flushed cheek. "I'm glad the Brendon I fell in love with never gave up on me."
* * * * *
It was a warm, balmy day in New Orleans, almost too perfect for words to describe. The seagulls cawed overhead as they flew to the oceanside. The breeze from the sea was tranquil and tasted of salt, warming the air around the city. People buzzed through the busy downtown streets, going about their daily lives without a care in the world. It was a perfectly ordinary day in the city of jazz.
But for the lonely young adult sitting on the curb outside of an abandoned jazz club, life couldn't have been further from perfectly ordinary.
Brendon's racing mind had led him to The Spotted Cat, still shut down and completely dark. The notice of foreclosure was still stamped to the front door, slightly worn down with age. It had been about two weeks since that dreadful day. Brendon was almost surprised the wind or the rain hadn't completely shredded it to pieces. He would've loved to see that.
He heaved a sigh. The side streets were silent and eerie. Not a single soul roamed down to see him sitting all alone on the curb, or to see the old jazz club taking its final breaths. Any minute now he expected to see some man in a fancy suit coming to close up The Spotted Cat for good, what with his hoity-toity briefcase and smug attitude. Maybe that was why Brendon's mind had led him to the place where he had first staked his claim in New Orleans.
His new life had started at this very jazz club, and now, he was dreading the moment when the bank would take that wonderful memory and crush it beneath its foot.
Brendon had met Spencer here. He had gotten his first job here. He had met Ryan here. Every single thing he'd done in New Orleans all stemmed from The Spotted Cat; he couldn't hide a smile at the thought of it. Without the old jazz club, where would he be now?
But even the happiness of those memories couldn't stop the pain from seeping into his heart. He had tried his hardest to save the jazz club. He really had. He had done everything in his power, and yet it still wasn't enough. The loan sharks had stomped on their promise and kicked him to the curb, dooming The Spotted Cat for good. Even the money Ryan had collected wasn't nearly enough to make a dent in the massive debt. Brendon's only hope had been Jon and those loan sharks, and those disgusting pigs had let him down.
Typical. He wasn't sure what he had expected.
Glancing up at the lifeless jazz club, Brendon's chest tightened. He knew it was silly, but he couldn't help but feel like he'd let everyone down. He had let Ryan down for not trying harder to save his home. He had let Jon down for not protecting Ryan and Spencer and their jazz club. He had let Spencer down for not being there for his son when he needed Brendon the most. He had let himself down for watching from the sidelines as everything crumbled to pieces before his very eyes. He had let everyone down, and it killed him. It hurt him more than words could ever describe.
He didn't know what to do anymore.
The sound of shoes clicking against the street pulled him from his spiraling thoughts. He looked up, his heart sinking as he saw a man in a suit approaching The Spotted Cat. It was a man from the bank, without a doubt. He had come to officially close down the old jazz club, to lock its doors forever. Brendon couldn't watch. It pained him too much.
Instead of posting the official notice, however, the man tore the page down and retrieved a set of keys to unlock the front door.
Brendon was sure his eyes were as wide as baseballs, nearly popping out of his skull. Was he hallucinating? Had the extreme stress finally gotten to his head? Surely he wasn't seeing clearly. There was no way the man had just unlocked the front door and taken down the foreclosure notice. He must have been going insane.
As the man turned to leave, he spotted Brendon sitting on the curb. He nodded cordially, tipping his hat and flashing Brendon a smile before he disappeared back down the streets.
Brendon couldn't believe it. It wasn't possible. He had never turned in the money to the bank. He hadn't heard from Jon, or even the loan sharks. There was no logical explanation as to how The Spotted Cat's debt was suddenly relieved. It simply wasn't possible.
That didn't mean Brendon wasn't elated beyond belief, though. He jumped to his feet, his heart racing out of his chest as he turned the doorknob, just to see if it would work, and it did. The Spotted Cat was unlocked, and it was safe. Brendon was afraid he was going to explode from excitement and repressed anxiety. He didn't know what was going on anymore. How had any of this happened?
Then, as if to answer his burning question, he felt a pair of eyes piercing into his back. Trembling with euphoria, he turned around.
It almost didn't surprise him to see Jynx smirking at him from the alleyway.
~~~~~
Catch me marrying the human version of Jynx. She's literally my favorite character I've ever created
If anyone is good at art or knows anyone good at art, I would be eternally grateful and would probably explode if someone created a human version of Jynx. Long, raven black hair, amber/whiskey eyes, vampire-styled clothes, super sexy and badass girl oof. I love it
Hey hey hey also if you haven't checked out my new Frerard story The Ghost of Him yet, why not give it a cheeky peek? New updates every Saturday until this story is done, then it'll probably be Sundays and Wednesdays :)
There's only one chapter left of this story too. Sadness, but I promise it's a good ending. Ending stories is always so bittersweet :')
I've also come up with like three new story ideas in the past week and I think my brain is plotting to kill me. I can't keep up with all my ideas anymore
Also, I might wanna do like a Q&A at the end of this story. You can start asking questions now if you want, and I'll make a list. Stuff like "where did you get your inspiration for this story" or even as generic as "what's your favorite color" would be fun. If you guys wanna do that, start asking some questions and I'll make a final chapter after the epilogue :)
Love y'all! Tune in next Sunday for the FINAL CHAPTER! Remember to vote/comment/share with your pals! <3