Note: Okay so a double uplod tonight because I'm nice like that. I apologise for this chapter because it is very boring, but it explains bits and pieces of what happened. Please comment and such to let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy the chapter my lovelies.
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Dear Diary,
So it's been a while since I last wrote in here and I feel as though I need to write everything down for later. I've always liked re-reading things that I wrote years before, so this will make for good reading in a few years time.
Well it's been two days since Wyatt and I battled each other, and since I was reanimated by the Elders. After I was resurrected, the boys orbed me home and they called for help, hoping that after what had happened the Elders would aid them in healing us. It didn't happen, so Chris set to healing both me and Wyatt. I don't remember much though because I passed out for a few hours.
According to Chris, who didn't once leave my side while I was out cold, I slept for about ten hours and I don't remember anything, except snippets of words of Chris and Wyatt telling me that they loved me and that they were terribly sorry. I always believed that the subconscious mind tells you things that you wouldn't know while you are awake, and I'm guessing that these words were said by the boys while my body was empty.
When I woke up I ate about three meals one after the other, never before had I been so hungry. It was then that explanations were exchanged, since they wanted me to explain what had happened so I hesitantly obliged.
I started off with how Darien had come to me in a dream and threatened to kill them all if I didn't come with him. I'd tried to explain my fear and the dread I felt at the idea of them all being dead but had found it hard to do, even when Chris came over and held me, though I instantly felt better about the physical contact. Chris and Wyatt had immediately understood why I did what I did, because they said they would've done the same. I remember that we had all exchanged a smile, something we would've done before all of this happened. It seemed that my relationships with everyone would be easily mended. Then I told them how I had accepted his offer, and how I hated leaving them and knowing that in the end they would all hate me.
Leaving them had killed me inside, but this choice had always been to keep them safe because I knew that at the first chance Darien got, he would try and kill them, to free me of them and so make me powerful as I would have nothing for my human witch half to hold on to. I'd skipped any details of the torture, instead just giving them the facts that they needed to hear, like basically how I had felt until finally I'd snapped, using my powers- both witch and demonic- to free myself and then how all of the demons had believed that I was ready. I skipped any unnecessary events like details of training, until I came to the part where I'd watched the torture of the innocent witch, and nearly cried with relief when Melinda told me that she had helped the witch to get rid of the disease.
It had been that day when I'd come up with the plan to betray the demons, though the idea had hurt slightly because I'd become close to Silus and Josey, but I hadn't seen them on the battlefield when Harry unleashed his power. I told the Halliwells of my plan to knock Wyatt out, giving myself the chance to kill the demons but how I had to rethink it when I knew that Wyatt would be too well-trained to allow me to knock him out. This was where Harry had come in and I managed to weave him into my plans, but during my time down there I'd had to kill an innocent. Something I hadn't counted on and this was when I started doubting my ideas, instead residing to call upon my mother's spirit and ask her for advice. I recited the conversation I had with my mom to the Halliwells while Chris had held my hand, before I explained my 'kidnapping' Harry. Wyatt had piped up then and said how he was sorry about that, he'd told everyone what had happened and how I'd taken my brother, obviously to turn him so that he could help my side to win the fight. I'd grinned at Wyatt, not at all feeling any kind of hate for him, because I understood him.
The Halliwells had been alarmed that Harry knew of my plan, because I'd told him the very first day that he had lived with me in the Underworld. I remember that I had been very shocked and also slightly worried that Harry was so eager to help me, then again our witch sides were much stronger than our demon sides, so of course we wanted to kill the demons, especially because of how they infected witches to get power. From there on it was just training to make ourselves stronger since Harry would have to kill the demons while I fought off everyone else if need be. Piper had been pissed at this because my plan had relied on Harry's power too much even though both Piper and I knew that Harry had a large amount of power. All I needed him to do was focus on being able to use that power for the right reasons.
After that it was just the fact of telling the Halliwells how we'd lived. How Harry and I trained as well as studied in case we needed spells to vanquish the demons. I told them how horrible I felt because I knew that my plan had been no excuse for me to do the things that I'd done. I should never had let things get so far, including the death of the witches and Chris getting infected. It was here that my story had ended and where I was embraced by my family. The feelings were mutual, because no matter how evil they thought I'd gotten they still couldn't help but love me, as much as I still loved them. This had ended in waterworks for everyone of us, including Leo, Wyatt, Chris and Coop.
When we stopped crying and started laughing over how silly we had been I realised that during my story telling, Wyatt hadn't stopped staring at me. It freaked me out slightly, but then again the whole family still couldn't believe what I had done. I felt kind of offended by that fact. They obviously didn't know me as well as what I thought they did.
Anyway by the Halliwells I mean the whole family. Everyone who had been there at the fight were there when I had woken up. I was bombarded by hugs from Phoebe, Paige and Billie, all of them telling me they were so happy that I was awake and walking around, apparently they had stopped by every couple of hours to check up on me. Even Paige and Phoebe's children had hugged me. I'd never been that close to the cousins but they were all happy that I was alive and that things had worked out ii the way that they had.
Once I remembered that Wyatt had been hurt I had asked him if he was okay and he nodded before gesturing to my side and apologising. I'd rolled my eyes at him before enquiring about the swords and was disappointed by what I found out. Excalibur had survived, of course, and was 'resting' as Wyatt had put it, but my sword Eythur had vanished into thin air. According to Leo who had been paying attention after I'd died this happened just seconds before I re-awakened. The sword just melted as though it had been put into furnace and the melted sword turned into black slime which was absorbed by the earth. Chris had told me then that he'd been pissed off by this. He'd already been completely heartbroken by me going and he'd hoped to keep the sword since it had been a part of me, so when it disappeared he felt as though he'd lost me all over again. I don't know, he can be slightly overdramatic sometimes, but I still love him for it.
I paused my writing in my journal as I listened to the commotion downstairs. Something was happening, but I couldn't be bothered to move yet. I sighed and held a hand to my left side but was relieved when I saw that I wasn't bleeding, before I carried on writing.
Chris is an angel, which I knew already, but after these past days he's just become my own personal angel. He took it upon himself to heal Wyatt and me, but found it hard since most of the injuries we had were not caused by magic. I mean sure, I used my demonic abilities, but Wyatt didn't seem to suffer many wounds from that. Instead, just like me, he had wounds over his body from the mortal combat we had engaged in.
Luckily Chris' healing abilities had gotten better, and after the Halliwells had somehow managed to get the fabric of my jeans off my skin, Chris had set to healing my body. He had be able to heal my skin, since it had been caused by a potion, and therefore magic and so my skin had repaired itself throughout the day yesterday and I now look slightly better. I look a little bit like my normal self but I'm still so sore.
My body is covered in purple, yellow and black bruises from the fight and it hurts to sleep at night, especially on my left side. Most of the injuries that I had were from the sword fight or the one-on-one fighting that Wyatt and I did when my sword started shocking me, so because of that Chris couldn't heal me.
Not only was my body covered in bruises but my left side had the ugly cut that Wyatt had made with Excalibur. Piper and Leo tried to treat is as best as they could and luckily it hadn't gotten infected but the area around it was bright red and sometimes even white in places. It was very unattractive. Like I said it was hard to sleep at night. I always sleep on my sides but since there is no way that I'm sleeping on my left side I have to sleep on my right, so I get very uncomfortable.
I'm still in great pain with my back, which was caused when I landed heavily on the earth after Wyatt's power and mine blew up. I get shocks up my spine, especially if I move too quickly but thankfully it's eased off over the past day, so that I can now stay sitting- or lying down- in one place for a longer amount of time without feeling the need to shuffle around to stay comfortable. I owed it to Piper's herbal teas since they were so soothing. I don't know what I would've done without them all, which leads me on to the Halliwells.
Since I woke up they've been treading carefully around me. I suppose I had to expect it since they obviously felt horrible about what happened, but I told them I understood it. The potion had been made because they were trying to protect each other, even though it pissed me off slightly that they had such little faith in me.
They told me that they had been afraid by my power and if I remember rightly Piper had said that each potion vial was the same potion. Piper, Melinda and Billie had worked on it together, and so the potion became even more powerful than the one they used on the Source, because Melinda had wanted to guarantee the fact that I would die painfully, after I killed her charge. This was why they all felt so horrible because I had still been me. I was a much better actress than what I thought I was.
Once I'd regained consciousness after my long nap I had to suffer thirty minutes of them apologising and fluttering around me to make sure I was comfortable. Actually they still did that now. I even had Wyatt offer to be my servant for a week, which I happily rejected. I didn't need to feel more out of place than I already did, and besides Wyatt needed time to recover as well. Lucky him though, because he didn't get half the amount of injuries that I did. Maybe I should give up my dream of being a ninja. Only joking. But I feel horrible myself, because I'm finding the whole situation hilarious, the fact that they feel the need to make up for what happened.
For the time being I'm happy to relax, especially since I'd be useless anyway, even if I could move. I've found that I have no powers, or at least none that I can access so easily. I'm not sure why that is and until the time comes, I'm happy not to know. I can deal with that when need be, but what I do know is that my powers are still inside me somewhere. I feel them stirring, but at the moment they are out of my reach and I'm guessing it's so they can recharge themselves since I practically burnt out every power that I own. That's the problem with wielding the elements, they are like little people that need rest.
Apart from that I've found that even my basic powers are weaker. Wyatt told me yesterday that he sensed my power but that my demonic power has regressed. I'm no longer equal to the Source, in fact Wyatt believes that my demonic power is equal to the power I had when I was sixteen. I remember describing it then as being the same strength as Cole when he let Balthazar consume him. I know in my heart that Wyatt is right about this and I'm happy for it to be that way. I've had enough of my demonic powers for a lifetime.
I signed my name at the end and placed my journal back in my bedside table. I knew that Chris probably wouldn't look at it, but if he did there was nothing in there that I didn't mind him reading, not that I was keeping that many secrets anymore. I sighed and leaned back against my pillows before glancing around the room, happy with how familiar it felt.
The bed was still soft and warm beneath me and the walls were still the same pale blue colour that I loved so much. My wardrobe- along with Chris'- were still a dark wooden colour which was slightly mismatched with the rest of the furniture in the room. Chris and I had never minded though.
I grinned as my eyes landed on the photos on my side of the room, by the door. Without even needing to study them I knew that one of them was of me and Chris, taken just under a year ago on our twenty-second birthday. We were both grinning at the camera as we held each other tightly, I remembered that Wyatt and Melinda had told us to stop kissing so that they could take a picture of us. Another picture was of Chris and I with his parents, which was also taken on the same day.
The final two pictures consisted of Chris and I with Harry, which had been taken in January of this year when Harry turned sixteen, and Harry and I with Chris and his siblings and parents. These four photos had been placed in the room because they offered Chris and I comfort as well as good memories. Whenever one of us is feeling down and the other wasn't near we would look at the pictures and be reminded of better times. I believed that things could only get better from here on out.
"Lila can you come here a sec please?" Piper called. Frowning to myself I carefully slid off my bed, not wanting to jolt my back or my side too much. I wondered what was happening since I'd been hearing noises ever since I came upstairs a few hours ago to relax. Well, Chris had insisted that I relaxed.
I slowly made my way down the stairs to see Chris standing at the bottom. We smiled at each other and I was happy at the fact that we had gotten back to normal so quickly. Glancing around I suddenly felt startled because the parlour was full.
Piper and Leo were leaning against the chair in parlour while Wyatt and Melinda were stood in the space between them and Chris. Off to the right stood Phoebe and Coop who still looked so in love, even after all of these years. Paige and Henry stood nearby holding hands while Billie, Andy and my brother Harry were sitting down on the small red chair next to the staircase. I narrowed my eyes at everyone.
"Is this where we start fighting again and throwing potions" I said, trying to sound serious, it didn't work because I saw Chris roll his eyes at me. The rest of his family didn't get the joke though as they shuffled from side to side. Chris and I laughed lightly at my horrid joke while the rest of the Halliwells glared at me.
"Not funny Lila" Mel hissed and I grinned at her.
"I'm sorry. What are you all doing here? We had my welcoming party yesterday" I said. I wasn't kidding, Piper had thrown a spread of food and we had large roomfuls of magical beings who knew me, in the house and music and everything. It felt like it should've been a birthday party.
"Well Chris has something to say" Wyatt said and Chris sighed. I assumed that he was going to tell me in his own time. I stuck my tongue out at Wyatt who also did the same.
"Lila, my answer is no. I never thought that, even when we all thought you were evil, myself included, I never stopped loving you" he said and I frowned at him, feeling confused.
"Chris I'm sorry but you've lost me" I shrugged at him and he smiled before nodding.
"When we arrived in that cave and Wyatt said that a Charmed one and a half demon can never be together you asked me if that's what I thought too. I'm sorry I took so long in answering but you caught me off guard, anyway that is what I would've answered had Wyatt not shot power at you" Chris said before turning around. I saw Wyatt give him the finger and I grinned at the fact that Chris had probably glared at his brother or mouthed something. I wondered where Chris was going with this?
"So on account of that, will you still become my wife? If that's what you want because I still want you" he said and I had to bite my lip to keep myself from smiling. Okay so that was where he was going with this.
I laced my fingers behind my back and played with the engagement ring that was still there since I'd never removed it. I walked slowly down the stairs, my gaze fixed on Chris until I reached the step that was above him. Chris was taller than me, and so this meant that we were an even height. I paused for a while, making it look as though I was thinking, but of course I already knew in my heart what the answer would be. I sighed dramatically.
"Well considering the fact that you just said that you still love me, and you know I never stopped loving you. The answer is yes. Yes I will become your wife" I grinned and he breathed out in relief before picking me up in a hug and spinning me around, though he was careful not to hurt me.
When he settled me back down on my feet Chris took my left hand in his before kissing the back of my hand and my wrist. As usual my pulse jumped at his touch and he smiled before placing his hands either side of my face and placing his lips gently over mine, being careful of the split lip that was now healing. Clapping erupted as I placed my hands on Chris' chest and kissed him back with a passion. Sure we'd kissed since I'd returned and every time we did I couldn't help but kiss him more fiercely. We grinned against each other's lips before I gave him a peck and pulled back. We leaned our foreheads against each other and I gazed into his eyes. I was so happy that our future was back on track. I couldn't live without him.
"Lila aren't you forgetting one final thing?" Harry said from behind me. Reluctantly I pulled away from Chris to look at my brother who was still sitting next to Billie and Andy. We grinned at each other.
"Oh yes sorry I forgot. Now that the wedding is back on I have a wedding gift for my future brother and sister-in-law" I said and Harry jumped up from the couch before walking over to me. We high fived each other.
"Will we be able to get in?" I asked him and he shrugged.
"Hey you were the one that watched it get spelled" he said and I rolled my eyes.
"Well since I have no powers unfortunately you're going to have to try and tear everything down" I replied and Harry nodded.
"What are you two on about?" Mel sighed and I smiled at her.
"Don't worry this is a good surprise. Well I think it's a good surprise, don't you Harry?" was my answer to her question.
"Yes Lila, I do" Harry replied and we burst out laughing.
"Okay I'm slightly worried now, that sounded like what Paige and I said to Piper when we were trying to tell her that she was pregnant and that Chris was her son" Phoebe said and I turned to look at her, eyes wide in fear.
"Don't worry, it's nothing like that" I giggled uncomfortably. I remembered that, it had been one of the many dreams I had when I was slightly younger. Phoebe nodded at me and I took a deep breath trying to figure out how I was going to tell them the final part of the plan that I had created to help keep Harry and I from heartbreak.