"It's none of your business"
"No, it's not. I just never realised you had it in you" Four said, he wasn't judging me, but I took offence anyway.
"Got what in me?" He raised an eyebrow "don't you dare. Don't you dare. I don't know what you think you thought you saw, but you're wrong. I'd never do that to Eric. I couldn't. I put Thackeray in his place and I told him that what he did never happened, that Eric will never know, because he will eviscerate him. And now, I'm telling you the same thing. If you tell Eric anything I will fucking destroy you"
Four was silent for a moment, he just stared at me "I believe you" I was slightly shocked, I hadn't expected it to be that easy "I don't owe Eric any favours. Just tell me it won't happen again"
"I'll die before I let that happen again. I love Eric"
"I know, you've said on multiple occasions"
I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, and I naturally started laughing, but that laughter transitioned into sobs, suddenly I couldn't control it, I was terrified "he'll leave me" I sobbed into my left hand "he'll leave me if he finds out" Four didn't know what to do, he just stood there all rigid staring at me "what have I done?"
"You didn't do anything, Thackeray did" he said in a soft tone.
"Eric won't see it that way, all he'll hear is that I- I kissed another man- oh god- I kissed another man, I- I... everything is ruined"
*
Halfway through the night Four came and knocked my apartment door, there had been an issue with the initiates and we had to go to the infirmary. We arrived to find Edward in a hospital bed with a bandage over one eye, blood had started to seep through and I wondered who had done it "what happened?" Four asked the nurse, but I answered first.
"Well I hardly think he ran into the knife"
The nurse gave me a searing look and started to explain how he was heard screaming in initiates accommodation while everyone was asleep, so it was reasonable to assume that one of the initiates themselves had done this, probably because Edward had ranked so well. I could already guess who had wielded the knife.
Eric arrived about five minutes after we did and I almost froze when I saw him, I felt like he knew, I felt like I was wearing a neon sign that was advertising the incident between Thackeray and I. I gulped down the bile in my throat and looked away from him "what the hell happened?" Eric liked Edward, he was sure he'd go far in Dauntless. When he noticed I was in the room he put his hand on the small of my back "hey, why didn't you come home?"
"I did, to my apartment" he looked a little hurt but only for a split second, no one else would have noticed.
"Were you there?" He pointed to Edward and I shook my head, it was so hard to talk to him, to look at him "well then will someone explain how this happened?" The nurse started to explain as Max and Leanne appeared.
The more everyone talked and theorised about what would happen to Edward, the smaller the room seemed to get, I kept looking at the back of Eric's head, this lie was painful, so painful I could hardly breathe, Four was the only one who seemed to notice and knew why I was so pale "I think they've got this handled, you can probably go home" I swallowed hard and nodded, a grateful smile on my lips, I gave the back of Eric's head one last look before slipping away.
As I walked home I felt like anyone who past me knew, I felt dirty, I could still feel Thackeray's lips touching mine and my head started to pound, this would end my relationship, but lying was killing me.
*
The next morning I woke up alone with nowhere to go, I didn't have work and my time with the initiates was over, Four would have to be with them all through stage two so I would have to cover his shifts, they didn't really need five instructors for stage two anyway. Eric was out drinking with Drake, Leanne and Logan as far as I knew so I didn't have to worry about him dropping by, I had the whole day to figure out what to do about Eric.
I reluctantly peeled myself out of bed and left the bedroom to go into the kitchen, but as soon as I entered the living room I saw a white rectangle laying on the floor near my front door, it was an envelope like the one Drake gave me to give to Eric, it was the same size and had the same address and faction logo on it. Only this time my name had been scribbled on the front and it was sealed, someone slipped it under my door, someone purposefully intended for me to see this.
Slowly I picked it up from the floor, somehow it felt like a trap, but I examined it and it seemed perfectly ordinary. I took it to the sofa and sat down to stare it, if it was anything like the last one I wasn't sure I wanted to read it, my relationship was fractured enough, the contents of the envelope could very well have been the gentle tap it needed to shatter completely.
Cautiously I slipped my nail under the flap and tore it open, they were the same documents inside, but they weren't as heavily redacted as before, this time I could read and reread all the gory details, and once I reached page five I knew that Eric had lied to me.
People's lives were at stake.
I jumped off the sofa and yanked my door open, without hesitation I stormed off to the bar where Eric was drinking, I was furious "you bastard!" I shouted as I entered the bar, the papers tight in my hand. Every face turned to look at me, a lot of them probably hoping for some entertainment, and they were even more interested when they realised who I was talking to "you fucking lied to my face!" Eric looked up innocently, our friends' eyes were darting between the two of us "what the hell is this?!" I threw the papers down on his table.
He knew what they were, he didn't need to read them "how-"
"Don't ask that it's pathetic" I spat, my eyes aflame as I pointed to the documents "this, this is talking about a fucking massacre"
Eric stood from his chair quickly and reared to his full height "quiet" he warned.
"No! I won't! This is disgusting! This is vile and inhumane and I can't believe you'd agree to it" I scoffed "you must be out of your damn mind!"
His actions were almost too fast to see, he had grabbed my upper arm in a death like grip and started to drag me out of the bar "shut your mouth before people start asking questions"
"Get the fuck off me! You're hurting me! Eric! Stop!" I punched him before I could stop myself, I was clawing at his arm and with a rage about him he let me go, I had hit him in front of everyone, our friends, and Eric wouldn't take that.
The back of his hand was across my face in an instant, I don't think he meant to, but I could tell he didn't regret it, this wasn't the first time we had hit each other, but usually it was play fighting, this was malice "get out that door, now"
I folded my arms and planted my feet "no"
Eric's jaw clenched and he bent down to wrap his arms around my bum and lift me over his shoulder, while I kicked and hit him he carried me out of the bar and up the stairs to his apartment "you crazy bitch, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"I wan't an explanation, and I want it now"