Years passed but the feeling and memories still haunts Daehwi down. He feels so much guilt when he left the love of his life for America. He knows that the man loathes him for what he did. He left without bidding goodbye and even saying the reason why. So, what person in his/her right mind won't get angry at him for what he did?
Daehwi doesn't even have the guts to go back to South Korea especially when he heard about how devastated his ex-lover have become ever since he left. But now that the boy already has someone by his side, Daehwi doesn't want to ruin that. Even if it hurts him.
Daehwi is living fine in L.A with his bestfriend, Somi, until his mom told him that he needs to go back to South Korea to take care of there business. Ever since Daehwi's dad died, his mom become busy handling their business that she barely comes home but it's okay 'cause he knows she's doing it for him. But now, that he's already 27, his mom decided that he should handle their business in South Korea.
"Why, Mom? Why do I need to take care of that one? I can take care of the one here in L.A, Mom. But not that one in Korea", Daehwi frustatedly replied at his Mom who's talking on him through the phone. "I'm sorry, Hwi. But that one is the one who needs intense care", his mom replied.
"Then just close it, Mom. We have enough branches to support us and I already finished school."
"YAH, LEE DAEHWI! I DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF YOU TO BE THIS RUDE. IF WEREN'T FOR THAT RESTAURANT, WE CAN'T REACH TO WHERE WE ARE NOW. I KNOW THAT YOU HATE GOING BACK TO KOREA BECAUSE OF JINYOUNG BUT IT'S ABOUT TIME, YOU GATHER YOUR COURAGE", his mom angrily said.
"Wow, Mom. Are you that angry? How can you say his name just like that?", Daehwi said with a bit of frustration and betrayal on his voice. "I'm sorry, Hwi. Mom is just so stress right now. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. But please, Hwi. Just this one", his mom softly replied.
"Okay, Mom. As if I can decline, anyways", Daehwi said and sighed heavily. "When's my flight, by the way?"
"The day after tomorrow, Hwi. Ask Somi if she want to come along, I kinda prepared another ticket if she want", his mom replied. "Thanks, Hwi. I owe you this one."
"Yeah, yeah! Goodbye", Daehwi called Somi as soon as he stop the call. "JEON SOMI! JEON SOMI!", he shouted while walking to Somi's room. "What the fuck Lee Daehwi! What is it?!", Somi rolled out of her bed as soon as Daehwi enter.
"What the fuck - why are you still on bed?", Daehwi said as soon as he enter Somi's room. "You haven't even fix your bed and clean your room."
"I'm sorry, okay? What is it, by the way?", she picked her scattered dirty clothes on the floor and put it on a basket. "I'm sorry that you had to see my underwear, hehe."
"Bitch, I've been your bestfriend ever since we are babies. I've witnessed your first menstruation, so this is nothing", Daehwi rolled his eyes and went to her bed to fix it. "Yeah, whatever. Why did you go here, by the way?"
"About that, Mom just called me that I should go back to South Korea. And wants me to ask you if you want to tag along? She already prepared you a ticket."
"REALLY?! OF COURSE, I'LL TAG ALONG! BITCH, I MISS KOREA!"
"Good for you, you're happy to go back, haha", Daehwi replied and lay on Somi's bed.
"Bitch, you haven't move on yet? David Lee, it's almost 4 years since you left. And like what you said, Jinyoung already has someone by his side? Isn't it time for you to let go of the past ? Isn't it time for you to found someone that can change Jinyoung's place in your heart? You know what, it's a good thing you NEED to go back to Korea. That way, you can find closure", Somi replied and seat beside Daehwi.
"Closure? You sure 'bout that, Som?"
"Of course, when we arrived make sure you talk to him, okay?"
"I can't even face him and now, you want me to talk to him? Seriously?", Daehwi stand up and pushed Somi as he rolled his eyes.
"Bitch, don't you dare roll your eyes in front of me, again. But honestly speaking Hwi, you're such a coward. I know I'm your bestfriend and I should support you but I really can't, if you're this coward."
"I don't really know what to do, Som. I know that it's time for myself to be free from the past but what can I do? I still love him", Daehwi replied and walk towards the door. "And by the way, our flight is on the day before tomorrow."
As soon as Daehwi get out of Somi's room, his tears won't stop coming. Fucking shit, I want to go back because I fucking miss him but how can I when my presence is like swords to him. He quickly went to his room and lock the door so Somi can't enter when the girl heard his sobs. He went to his drawer and picks up a black box from it.
From that box, you can see the writings "Daehwi ♡ Jinyoung", "For Daehwi and Jinyoung's eyes only", "Our memories ♡♡♡". Daehwi started crying hard as soon as he opens the box. The box contains all of Jinyoung's letter to him that the boy used to give to him, EVERYDAY.
June 7, 2008
Hey love! I'm so happy that you said yes. You probably didn't know how nervous I am when I asked you. I even asked our parents for help because I think I can't do this alone. That's why this past few days, I always bring food for lunch because I'm saving money for my surprise. I want to surprise you and give you gifts by my own money. I'm really glad that I met you that day, that I decided to change schools cause if I didn't, I wont have you right now hehe.
Do you still remember what I told you when I asked you to be mine? Since yesterday is our first day as boyfriends and I don't know if you'll said yes, that time so I dont have a letter for that day. But here's one, for today. Like what I told you, you'll receive a letter from me everyday. In that letter, I'll tell you about what happened to me that day, so you can know it especially when we're not together.
Well, nothing special happened today except for the fact that my family is teasing me as soon I woke up. My mom can't still believed that you said yes to me. She said that I'm not even handsome nor I have the best attitude and I can't even clean my own room. So, she asked me about what did you ever see in me that you have to say yes? And Suzy-noona, also, can't believed that her brother is dating someone now. And she said that I'm still her baby, I'm already 18 but why'd she always tell me that I'm her baby? Huhuhuhu, I know that she used to take care of me whenever our parents are not around in the past. But, she's only older than me by four years and sometimes, I'm more like the first child than her. And then here comes my Dad, he told me that I should take care of you and I shouldn't hurt you, shouldn't it be the other way around though?
I think that they trust you more, love. My family hates me, hahahahaha. Nah, just kidding. By the way, how are you today? Did you experience anything special? If you have tell me, okay? But, I think you don't have to, coz ur with me the whole day, hehe. Anyways, I'll end it now, babe. Wait for the other one tomorrow okay? And make sure that you'll take care of this letters and you'll treasure it, ha? Iloveyou so much, Lee Daehwi!! Thank you for loving me <3. Loveyou!
Your only one and yours only,
Bae Jinyoung
Daehwi didn't notice that he was smiling while reading the letter despite his streaming tears. He suddenly search for another letter to read.
June 6, 2013
Hey, babe!! Happy 5th anniversaryyyyyyyyyy!! I really didn't expect us to last this long after all the fights we have but we are still here, uwu. We're both busy these days because we are graduating, yey!! I think it's only yesterday when we are struggling to make our first thesis but here we are now, I'm so happy that I got to graduate together with you, love.
I know that you hate it when I bought you gifts with my own savings but I don't care especially today. I hope you won't cry when I surprise you, you'll probably read this after, of course. I know that you'll say that "You shouldn't have done this, love. You know I'm happy with just being with you in this special day. And preparing this will take time", but I don't care if all my time will be eaten by preparing this cause it's for you, anyway.
And love, stop being jealous about me and Jihoon-hyung. He's just asking for some advice cause Woojin is being a jerk again. Like seriously, what's wrong with those two? So don't be jealous, okay? Because if you will, I will be too. These days, you are so close with Jaehwan-hyung, and I really hate it but I know you're asking for help with your studies.
I miss you like shit but I can't go to you cause I can't be a bother to you. I want to go to you and cuddle with you like how we used to do but I can't. We live on the same house but we barely see each other. When I go home, you are already asleep. When I'm just at home, you're on school. When you arrived from school, its my turn to leave. I can't do anything because we're both busy doing some college stuffs but these will end soon. Our graduation is just months from now.
I really can't imagine that we'll soon enter adulthood and work life. I know that we'll be busier in that phase but let's make sure that we'll make time for each other. I'm probably on my way to Busan by the time you're reading this. I'm sorry I can't cuddle with you like how we used to on our past anniversaries but my family needs me right now. I'll make it up to you three days after today, okay? I just left my surprise for you, today. I'm sorry I can't be with you today.
I'll promise I'll make it up to you! I'll end this here, love. Always know that I love you and I'll always be here for you, okay? ILOVEYOU SO SO SO SO MUCH LEE DAEHWI! Thank you for loving me!! Iloveyou!!!!
Forever yours,
Jinyoung
Daehwi's tears are like rivers by now. His bed sheets are now wet because of his non-stop tears. He look for the date at his phone, it's June 6. We should be celebrating our 10th anniversary, by now. For sure this time, we are complaining about our works and stuffs. I hope I can still go back to you, but I can't. Sometimes, I think that the two of us are still together for we doesn't have a proper break-up but you already found someone so I think it's really the end for us.
Daehwi is reminiscing about his past memories with Jinyoung when he heard a knock on his door. "David, you asleep?", he heard Somi's voice along with knocks.
"Y-yeah, what is it?", Daehwi tried his best to speak on a normal way so Somi won't notice he's been crying. "Bitch, are you crying?", but of course, Somi is his bestfriend, even when Daehwi said multiple times that he's not Somi will surely notice. She belongs to the persons who knows Daehwi so much along with his parents, and Bae Jinyoung.
"I'm okay, Somi-ya. What is it, by the way?"
"Hwi, stop crying please. My heart is hurting, too, when you're like this", Somi replied with a hint of sadness and pain on her voice.
"I'm sorry but I'm really okay", Daehwi smiles through his words even though Somi won't see that smile. "You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I won't force you. But, I'm fucking hungry, David. I'll just order because I think you can't cook. You okay with that?", Somi's stomach growls as soon as she finished speaking.
"Yeah, I really feel you are very hungry by now", Daehwi replied between his laughs.
"Bitch atleast that make you laugh. I'll just order anything and call you when it arrive. Fix yourself, David, I don't want to see your puffy eyes", the girl's footsteps are heard, probably going down to order. Daehwi sighed as soon as he can't hear Somi's footsteps. He went to his room's own bathroom to take a bath, they have their own bathrooms for privacy purposes, lol.
After taking a bath, he heard Somi's voice telling him that the order arrived. "LEE DAEHWI! COME DOWN HERE, LET'S EAT BEFORE IT STARTS TO GET COLD!"
"Yeah, yeah! I'll just finish what I'm doing", Daehwi replied while putting his bed sheets on his laundry bag. He went down after that and was welcomed by Somi, pigging out while eating pizza. "Seriously, pizza? At the middle of the day?", the boy asked and seated beside Somi.
"Well, bitch. There's no exact time in eating pizza and we're never too old for this", Somi replied with her mouth full of pizza. "And there's yours, I didn't know what you'd liked so I just ordered anything", the girl added and point to an another pizza box on the table.
June 8, 2017 - Daehwi's POV
I stretched my body when I heard the pilot or whoever it is say that we already arrived. Today's the day, we'll go back to Korea and I'm not yet ready. "Hey, what are you staring at?", I heard Somi's voice and that make me get back to his thoughts. "Nothing, let's go", I replied and pulled her.
It's already dinner time when I arrived at our old house. Good thing, Mom didn't decided to sell this atleast I have a place to stay. Somi went to their own house because her family fetch her at the airport, good for her. Though his Dad asked me if I want him to send me home, I said no. It's their quality time with each other, I'll just become a disturbance if I joined.
I'm currently removing the white curtains or cloth that's on our furnitures. It's really a bad thing that we arrived at night time, I need to clean my room first before I can finally take a rest. Gladly, my room isn't that dirty 'cause I cleaned it before leaving, that is actually 4 years ago. Well, I'm just joking when I said it's not dirty, cause it fucking is. Looks like I'm gonna be exhausted first before I can sleep, shit.
Third Person's Point of View
It's been 2 hours and Daehwi is almost finished cleaning his room. The boy changed his bed sheets, blankets, pillow covers and cleaned his cabinets for his clothes and thoroughly removed all the dust that he can feel. "Finally, I'm done", he let out a loud sigh. I should wash and eat at a fast food place near here, he thought.
After taking a bath, Daehwi straightly went to McDoria (What's wrong, secretary kim inspired hehe), which is just a walking distance from his house. He was about to enter when he saw Jinyoung with a girl, inside. He stopped his tracks when their eyes met and Daehwi was about to turn his back but a thought came to his mind, it's now or never, Somi is right I sometimes need to face my fears and have courage.
After minutes of standing, he decided to enter. He finished ordering and seated on a table few steps away from Jinyoung's. Daehwi is eating quietly while reminiscing his memories with Jinyoung, especially the ones when Jinyoung said he wants a family that's like theirs.
It was just a fine day with sunshine and clear clouds. It's a day where there's no sign of raining, which Jinyoung loves. 24 years old Jinyoung texted his 23 years old boyfriend, Daehwi that he'll come over his house.
Jinyoung:
Love?? I'm on my way home, right now. You busy??
Daehwi:
I'm not that busy, just one more homework and I'm done.
Jinyoung:
Okay, hun. You need something, like food or stationaries that can help you with your assignment??
Daehwi:
Just bring whatever food you want, babe. And could you buy me some colored papers or art papers and double adhesive tape? Thank youu!!
Jinyoung:
You're always welcome, love. Wait for me, okay? I miss you so much and I have some things for you from my mom. Iloveyou, gotta go hun, loveyou!!
An hour passed and Jinyoung finally arrived. The boy walked inside the dorm to be welcomed by lots of cut papers. "Love? Where are you?", the boy asked when he didn't see anyone in the sala. "I'm at the bathroom, babe. I'm sorry it's so dirty, I'm too busy to clean", Daehwi replied as the flushed sound echoed in the house.
Jinyoung immediately cleans his boyfriend's mess especially the things on the table so they can eat. He was busy fixing Daehwi's things when he felt an arm embracing his waist from behind. "I missed you, Hyung", the boy said and sniffed his boyfriend's back inhaling the boy's smell.
"I missed you, too but let's eat first. I already cleaned the place", Jinyoung replied and pulled Daehwi to the sofa to eat. "But you shouldn't have cleaned it, babe. It's my mess and I should be the one who did it", Daehwi playfully pushed Jinyoung and seated beside the boy.
"It's okay, didn't I tell you that I'll make it up to you? Well, this is my way of making up. I want to atleast help you on little things that will eat your time, and probably cleaning is one of them. You just have to finish what you're doing and after that I'll clean so you can take a rest", Jinyoung replied while looking directly at Daehwi's eyes.
"Seriously, what did I do in my past life to deserve someone like you?", flustered Daehwi asks his boyfriend as he covers his face with his hands. "I just love you, that's that", Jinyoung replied and pulled Daehwi nearer to him to plant a kiss on the boy's forehead.
After their almost endless exchange of cringey lines, the two finally started eating. And after that, Jinyoung cleans the mess they made, just like what he said. As soon as Jinyoung gets back and seats beside his boyfriend, Daehwi snuggles his body onto the boy.
"Love, will you consider marrying me in the future?", Jinyoung blurted out of the blue while they are watching. "Are you sure about that?", Daehwi hesitantly replied and looked at Jinyoung. "I can't give you children, Jinyoung. I know how you love having one, but I can't give you that", Daehwi fixes his position from a cuddling one to properly seating.
Daehwi doesn't feel good when he remembers that he can't give Jinyoung what he want, and it's better if he'll marry a girl in the future. But he's thinking got stopped when he feel his boyfriend's arms circling in his thin waist as the boy pulls him for a hug. "We can always adopt, hun. It's better to be single forever than get married with someone who isn't you, y'know?
Daehwi didn't noticed that his tears where already streaming down his cheeks. After realizing, he immediately wipe it and just focus on eating. From time to time, Daehwi steals some glances on his ex-boyfriend who looks so happy with another girl. I wish I could be the one who makes you smile like that, but after what happened I don't think a smile is the one I'll put on your face.
Minutes passed and Jinyoung finishes eating with Kyulkyung, his girlfriend. Jinyoung also noticed Daehwi but decided not to make another foolish move because he's already with someone he loves. Maybe he didn't love Kyulkyung the way he loved Daehwi in the past but he's sure Daehwi is just a part of his past and will stay like that.
After eating, Jinyoung asked Kyulkyung if she can go home first because he has to talk to someone. "Are you going to talk with Daehwi?", the girl asked that makes Jinyoung confused. "Yeah, I'm sorry. But, I have to do this. I can't love you fully if I'm some part of me is still trapped in the past," Jinyoung replied while looking down, he feels ashamed and embarrased at the same time.
But being an understand girlfriend, Kyulkyung allows Jinyoung to talk to Daehwi because it's for the both of them, atleast they can have closures with each other. Jinyoung thanked Kyulkyung and led her to the car as he kissed the girl's forehead, "Take care, okay? Focus on driving. I'll see you home, later. I love you."
After making sure that Kyulkyung safely leaves the place, Jinyoung goes back inside McDoria and seated at Daehwi's extra chair. "Hey." Daehwi lifted his head up and gets shocked as he sees Jinyoung's face, "Jinyoungie-hyung?"
The two decided to talk at a park near the fast food restaurant. After arriving, they decided to sit at the bench they always stay in, in the past. "Hyung", Daehwi said as he sits. "I just wanted to know one thing, Daehwi. My girlfriend is waiting for me but I decided to talk to you, for closure"
"... So, why did you leave me? Why did you go to L.A without telling me the reason why? Why did you leave and forget about me?", Jinyoung said with a hint of anger with his voice.
"Hyung, I'm sorry - "
"YOUR SORRY WON'T FIX A GODDAMN THING, DAEHWI! JUST TELL.ME.THE.REASON.WHY?!" Jinyoung shouted without caring the people looking at them with judging eyes.
"Hyung, l-let me explain", Daehwi speaks through his sobs. Daehwi's tears felt like a pang on Jinyoung's heart that he started calming down.
"H-hyung, I-im sorry for l-leaving you like t-that. I-i never wanted to, but t-things got so hard to the point that I need t-to. M-my d-dad needs u-us t-that time that w-we need to leave as s-soon as possible."
"...I'm sorry I have to leave like that, I never wanted to. But, I wont push you get back to me. I saw your smiles when you're with her, it's almost the same as us. H-hyung, now you don't need to experience the struggles of adopting a child because you can have your own."
"...I'm sorry that I didn't realize your precious love. I'm sorry that I even deactivated my accounts but I'm so devastated that time. I'm sorry that you entered adulthood, alone, not us, together. I'm sorry that you got to experience things that you should haven't."
"...I hope you stay happy with her forever. I sincerely root for your relationship and happiness. Can you please do me a favor? Tell her, thank you for letting you see the bright and colorful world again. And if she can, please let her take care of you twice as much as I did and that she would never let you go, like what I did. I'm sorry, hyung."
"Honestly, I still love you but what can I do? You're happy with her and I don't want to ruin that. Please treasure your relationship the way you did with ours. Bye," Daehwi lowers his head after telling Jinyoung everything.
"I'm sorry, Hwi. But I can't be with you again because I love Kyulkyung, and I can't hurt her. You know that you should've told me everything in the beginning and not shut me out like that, right? But it's okay, it's all the past now. Take care of yourself and I promise to do your favors and advices. Thank you, Hwi. I loved you but it's Kyulkyung who owns my heart now. I hope you can find someone for you. Bye", Jinyoung replied as he started walking away from Daehwi.
Just like that, they parted ways even though they promised they wont. But, promises are meant to be broken, right? They promised to forever stay as a 'we' but they parted and become just a 'you and i'. "Thank you for the love and I'm sorry for not realizing how precious your love is, bye."