Today, my husband Shawn Mendes leaves for the first tour that he's done in five years. He took a break from music when our oldest child, our daughter, Rose Lucille Mendes was born. He wanted to wait until she was at least five before he started making music again. That doesn't mean that he hasn't been writing in the meantime, but he just hasn't been recording the music up until recently. We also have a son, Skylar "Sky" Scott Mendes. He's three years old. I was laying in bed thinking about the fact that Shawn has to leave today when he woke up. He immediately smiled at me.
"Good morning gorgeous." Shawn said in his sexy, raspy, morning voice.
"Good morning handsome." I said with a smile. He frowned and looked down a little.
"I am so not looking forward to today." Shawn said.
"I know honey. But everything will be okay." I said. He looked at me, tears forming in his eyes.
"I don't want to leave my family." Shawn said. We both sat up and leaned against our headboard.
"I know, and we're not going to like it either, but this is for your career." I said.
"I know. I'm going to miss you guys so much." Shawn said, tears now streaming down his face. I moved myself so I was straddling him, one leg on each side of him. I wiped his tears away. I could feel his eyes examining my face. "You're so beautiful." Shawn said. I looked into his caramel eyes and smiled.
"Thank you handsome." I said. I felt a lump in my throat as I remembered what it was like for us before when he was on tour and far away. I've always hated being away from him. I just hate it so much. He's the love of my life, and now I'll have to take care of the kids all by myself. Well, not by myself. My mom and Karen, along with friends, have offered to help me while Shawn's away.
"Are you sure that you'll be okay without me? I'm not saying that you can't do it on your own, I'm just saying that maybe I shouldn't go on tour, maybe I should stay home." Shawn asked and said.
"Honey, I can do it. Luckily we have a good support system, good friends and family members that are willing to help me out. I'm fine. I'm just going to miss you, that's all." I said. I knew he was looking for an excuse to stay home with us. Shawn nodded his head.
"Okay. I love you so much baby girl. You know that right?" Shawn asked as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb. I nodded my head.
"Of course I do. I love you too." I said, putting my hand on Shawn's shirtless chest as I started to rub his chest. He's always loved it when I do that. He closed his eyes in contentment and smiled. We laid back down and held each other for a little bit longer. We then heard footsteps padding into the room.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Rose called out. I looked over and saw my lovely daughter.
"Hi pumpkin. Want to get on the bed with Daddy and I?" I asked her.
"Yeah." She said. I picked her up, put her on the bed, and she immediately went to Shawn.
"Morning my Rosie girl." Shawn said while smiling at his precious daughter. He's always called her his Rosie girl. She's the biggest Daddy's girl I've ever seen.
"Morning Daddy. Why are you leaving us?" She asked, obviously not realizing that her question could hurt Shawn and make him emotional. I saw his eyes well up with tears and they soon ran down his face. He put his head in his hands and cried.
"Rose, come here." I said. She crawled over to me and sat on my lap. By now, Shawn and I were sitting up again. "Daddy has to leave because it's part of his job. But don't worry because we can still call Daddy and I can text him for you and we can Facetime him too. Okay?" I asked. She looked at Shawn.
"Daddy I don't want you to leave." She said, now starting to cry too. Shawn pulled himself together and stopped crying.
"I know sweetie." He said. "I don't want to leave either but, like Mommy said, it's part of my job. We can still talk though, okay?" He asked.
"Can you still read me my bedtime stories?" She asked. Shawn paused before speaking.
"I can try to read them to you over the phone if you're going to bed while I'm awake." Shawn said.
"So you won't always be able to read to me?" She asked. Tears were still running down her face.
"No, I won't. I'm sorry sweetie." Shawn said. Rose looked at me.
"Mommy I hate Daddy." Rose said to me. I looked at Shawn. He had his head in his hands and his body shook with sobs.
"Rose Lucille Mendes! That is not nice and I know that it is not true. Apologize to your father right now." I demanded.
"No!" She said, and jumped off the bed, and ran away to her room. Shawn was still sobbing.
"My daughter hates me. My own daughter hates me Y/n. I can't leave. That's it. I can't go on tour and leave you guys." Shawn said, suddenly panicking.
"Shawn stop it. Pull yourself together. She didn't mean it and you have to do this for work. Think about how crushed your fans would be if they found out that they couldn't see their idol." I said. Shawn pulled himself together for the second time this morning and thought for a moment.
"Okay. Okay. I have to do this. Let's have breakfast and by then the car will be here to pick me up. I'll make breakfast for the last time before I leave if that's okay." Shawn said, his caramel eyes looking into my eyes.
"Of course it's okay honey. I'll talk to Rose while you make breakfast. Okay?" I asked. Shawn nodded his head.
"Okay. But first, I need a kiss." Shawn said with a smirk. I smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him. Our lips met and I felt sparks shootout throughout my body like fireworks. I felt my heart race as if I had just run a marathon, and I felt butterflies erupt and fly around in my stomach. Shawn makes my knees go weak and I love all of the feeling that he gives me. We pulled away and Shawn held my face with his big, manly hands as he kissed my forehead.
"I love you Shawn." I said.
"I love you too baby girl. Lucky in love?" Shawn asked, quoting our motto. I smiled at him.
"Lucky in love. Come on, you make breakfast while I talk to Rose and then I'll wake up Sky." I said. We both got out of bed and before I could head to Rose's room, Shawn came over and gave me a hug. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and my arms wrapped around his waist.
"Pancakes or waffles?" Shawn asked me. I thought for a moment.
"Pancakes." I said with a smile. I walked to Rose's room and went in. She was sitting on her bed crying. She looked up and saw me.
"I want to be alone." She said
"Not until you apologize to Daddy. He did nothing wrong and I know that you don't actually hate him." I said.
"But I do. If he really loved us he wouldn't leave." She said.
"Honey, Daddy does love us. He has to leave for his career. It's part of his job. He's doing this for us. He's doing this so he can help provide for us." I said. She was still crying.
"I don't want him to leave Mommy." She said.
"I know. I don't want him to leave either, but I know that he has to." I said. She slowly stopped crying and got off her bed.
"Okay. Can he make us pancakes please?" She asked. I smiled.
"He's already doing that right now." I said. She smiled at me.
"Yay!" She cheered. I laughed.
"Why don't you go downstairs? Okay? I have to wake up Sky." I said. She nodded her head and left the room to go downstairs. I walked to Sky's room only to find him crying. I rushed over to him.
"Daddy don't leave." He cried. My heart broke.
"Daddy has to leave, it's for his job." I explained. I picked him up off his bed and carried him downstairs. I set him down on the floor. As soon as he saw Shawn, he started to cry again. Shawn turned to Sky and picked him up.
"What's wrong buddy?" He asked Sky.
"I don't want you to leave." Sky cried.
"I know and I don't want to leave either, but it's for my job. I can still call you guys and Facetime you guys though, okay?" Shawn asked. That seemed to calm Sky down.
"Okay daddy." Sky said. Shawn smiled at him. After breakfast the car came to pick up Shawn and we had to say our goodbyes.
"Come here Rosie girl." Shawn said. Rose walked over to him and gave him a hug. "Can I have a kiss?" Shawn asked.
"Mwah." She said as she kissed him on the lips. Shawn laughed.
"Come here Sky, my little buddy." Shawn requested. Sky was hesitant but eventually walked over to Shawn and gave him a hug. Shawn looked at his two kids. They're so precious to him. "I love you guys. I'll see you soon, I promise. Take care of Mommy for me, okay?" Shawn asked. The kids nodded.
"Come on, I'll walk you out to the car." I said, getting my shoes on. Shawn nodded his head. He held my hand as we walked down the driveway, the kids still inside after saying goodbye to their father. We reached the car and Shawn turned to me and placed his hands on my waist as I placed my hands on his biceps.
"I'm going to miss you so much." Shawn said, tears welling up in his eyes.
"I'm going to miss you too, but you'll be home before you know it." I said, trying to calm him down. Shawn nodded and then rested his forehead against mine. I held back tears. Shawn pulled away and noticed that I was hiding tears.
"Baby please don't cry, I hate to see you cry." Shawn said, wiping the few tears that had escaped away.
"Sorry. I'm just really going to miss you." I said. He nodded.
"Come kiss me." Shawn said, and as our lips met, I felt the same oh so familiar feelings that I get every single time that Shawn and I kiss. The sparks, the butterflies, the heart racing. We pulled away all too soon and Shawn kissed my forehead for the last time before he left. "I love you and your kisses." Shawn said. I hummed.
"I love you and your kisses too." I said.
"I have to go." Shawn whispered. I nodded my head. "Bye baby girl." Shawn said.
"It's not goodbye, it's see you later." I said.
"How did I get so lucky?" Shawn asked as he got in the car.
"I'm the lucky one. I love you." I said.
"I love you too. See you later." Shawn said, and with that, I shut the door and Shawn's driver drove away. I watched the car until I couldn't see it anymore. I went back inside the house to find my two kids crying. I comforted them while holding back tears, and reassured them that Shawn would be home soon. He always came home to me, and now he'll come home to us.