By Miia
~
At first I thought I was Sammysexual.
I only liked Sammy..my upstairs neighbor. She was the only girl I ever admitted I truly liked.
She was 13. I was 14. She was an 8th grader, I was an 7th grader. (Shut up)
She was jerk. A HUGE jerk. So when I had told my best friend Kayla, she was shook.
""Why? She's a bitch.""
""I dunno.""
I did. At least I think I did. She was never mean to me directly. Only others, such as my brothers or the kids around the block.
Winter break of 7th grade, she sat outside her apartment door for a good hour. I saw and my first thought was, ""She's locked out."" But I then remembered the music pounding through the walls. I slowly walked towards her and asked if was indeed locked out. She shook her head. I wanted to press forward and ask why she was outside then, but I didn't I simply nodded and sat beside her.
She gave me this funny look. ""Um Miia?""
""Yes?""
""What are you doing?""
""Waiting.""
""For?""
""Someone.""
.........
""Are you locked out?""
I shook my head.
""Okay.""
So we sat there. Silently. We didn't say a word. When I suddenly thought bout Bye Bye Bye, by *NSYNC. Maybe I am bi. Or maybe Sammy is the only girl who I find attractive so that means--it growled. I remember it happening when I was so wrapped in my thoughts. My stomach growled and I had felt myself blush furiously. I mean come on it's embarrassing when your stomach gets all like ""grrr.""
She had smiled and said, ""You should probably go back.""
""Do you want me to?""
""I'll be fine.""
""So will I then. My stomach can wait.""
She looked at me. She kept looking. Kept staring. I snapped my head to stare at her now. ""What? Do I have something on my face?""
""My mom's boyfriend is in there. I can't stand him.""
""Ditto.. Well with my mom's husband.""
She held her gaze and I held mine.
""Want to come in? For some food? Or Netflix? Or both?""
She had shaken her head softly with a small smile. ""Thank you, Miia. This meant a lot for some..weird reason.""
She kissed my cheek. And I died. Like literally I was dying. It must have shown on my face because she looked freaked. ""I'm sorry. I'm aware we don't speak often--""
I kissed her back on her pale cheek. ""Goodluck.""
I walked down to my apartment and felt very satisfied. I was pleased with my awesome charms.
We didn't talk. Not because it was awkward but because she rarely talked before the kiss, so why now? She didn't like me. She was being friendly. I didn't expect her to strike up a conversation about her mom's boyfriend or vent to me about her problems.
We do talk once in a while. ""Hi's"" and ""hey's"" here and there. Nothing special. I'm 16 now, and I've realized that it'd be impossible for me to be only Sammysexual. That would mean being limited to only her. Which isn't the case. I don't care about genders as long as my heart races when I see them, or my stomach swoops when I catch them smiling. I'm happy being bi.