Lawrence didn't realize he had even fallen asleep next to Adam, until he woke up to his screams.
Lawrence jolted as soon as the animalistic sound escaped Adam's mouth. His cries were those of agonizing pain. When Lawrence tried to stabilize Adam, he was pushed off onto the floor.
Lawrence stood up and tried again, gripping at Adam's arms, but it was no good. Adam gave Lawrence no signs of acknowledgment and all efforts to help him failed.
Soon, the doctor who'd helped Adam before was in the room and flicking on the lights.
"The chain hurts! God, get it off!" Adam gripped at his bandaged ankle.
"Hey, hey, hey," the doctor tried to stop him. "It's just a wound. There's no chain."
Adam was relentless, not even knowing the doctor was there. He attempted to rip through the dressing on his ankle.
"Woah! Hey, stop!" The doctor almost panicked.
As she rushed over to grab a syringe, Lawrence whimpered, "What's going on?"
She ignored Lawrence, injecting Adam in the arm with a sedative. Adam's body movement and screams immediately ceased. He fell back gently into the mattress as his eyes shut. Soon, his mouth dangled open and his breathing was more relaxed than it had been since getting to the hospital.
Lawrence would have found the scene adorable if it weren't for the story behind it.
"W-why did you do that? He finally woke up," Lawrence stammered.
"No. He was just about to rip his ankle back open," the doctor scoffed.
"But he was...he was—"
"What? Talking?"
Lawrence nodded.
"Yeah, and he also didn't even hear or see us," the doctor spoke sadly. "He may have been acting more mobile, but he was in his own world." The doctor approached Larry and laid a supportive hand on his arm. "He's still dissociating. He's still in shock. I'm sorry."
With that, she left the room and turned the lights back off.
Lawrence looked at the time. It was almost 3:30 in the morning. He threw his face into his hands and let out a sigh of stress; they'd missed their flight and he had no clue when or how they were getting home.
Larry just wanted his boyfriend to wake up.
"Hey tiger." Lawrence recognized the soft voice speaking nickname he'd been hearing since high school.
"Ron," Lawrence stood up to embrace his friend. "Where have you guys been?"
David spoke by Ron's side, "We went back to the airport to get everyone's luggage. Is Adam okay?" sincerity burned his eyes.
"Yeah, how's the kid doing?" Ron also asked.
"He's still paralyzed in shock," Lawrence looked down at the ground. He bit his tongue to hold back tears.
Ron sighed, "I hate to break this to you right now—but—it looks like Alison's been trying to reach you." He handed Lawrence his cell phone.
10 missed calls.
There were also an abundance of text messages.
11:32 PM
I'm watching. Why are you doing this stupid show? This guy seems like a prick.
11:37 PM
What!? You and Adam are dating!?
11:38 PM
You never told me you had a boyfriend.
11:42 PM
Larry, what just happened. The show got cut. Adam murdered? You're dating a killer?
11:44 PM
Lawrence I'm worried about you. Please call me.
11:45 PM
Pick up the phone Larry.
11:45 PM
Please.
"Shit," Lawrence grumbled. With shaky hands, he called his ex wife.
The phone only rang once until Alison quickly picked up. "Larry? What the hell is going on?"
"Ali, I can explain."
"You better!" she shot. "What—have you been gay the whole time? Was what we had all an act?"
"No, Ali. I promise, I really loved you. I still do, just in a different way." Lawrence tried to stay calm.
There was silence on the line until Lawrence heard Alison sniffle. "Do you love him?"
"I do." Lawrence answered immediately.
He could hear her trying to silence her crying through the line. He stayed quiet, waiting for her to speak. She eventually did. "He's killed, Lawrence. We have a daughter—a daughter that we'll have to introduce to him if it's as serious as you say it is—and he's killed. Does that not bother you?"
"It was self defense, Ali. Adam is the sweetest man I've ever met. I promise he is of no threat to Diana, or anyone for that matter."
Alison took a deep breath, and instead of her voice booming through the speaker like Lawrence was expecting, she sounded tired and as if she was choking down a sob.
"When are you coming home, Larry?" she breathed out.
"I—I don't know. We had a flight a few hours ago but—we missed it."
"How on earth did you do that?" Alison was sounding annoyed again.
Lawrence debated on whether to tell her the truth or not. Letting her know Adam's mental state wasn't stable would not help his case that he was safe for Diana, but he knew lying would just make things worse. "Adam's in the hospital."
"Oh," her voice rang with sympathy. She regretted snapping at Larry. "Why? Is he alright?"
"No," Lawrence sighed truthfully, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He's stuck in shock. He had a bad PTSD episode."
"Lawrence, I'm so sorry." She really sounded it.
"Yeah. We'll have to buy more plane tickets whenever he wakes up and I don't even know what to—"
"Call me when he wakes up," she interrupted. "And I'll pay for the tickets. I'll wire you money right now."
"Ali, you don't have to—"
"Yes, Lawrence. I do." She snapped. "I've been unfair to you—and Adam. And I'm sorry."
Her apology sounded stiff and angry, but he'd take it. "Well thank you, Ali. I'm sure Adam will be glad to hear that. I'll tell him when he wakes up." He looked over at Adam's bed sadly on the last words.
"Thanks," she replied sadly. "Goodbye Larry."
"Bye Ali."
Lawrence hung up.
"Everything good?" Ron asked Lawrence cautiously. He'd always been afraid of Alison.
"Yeah. She was a little upset about Adam and I, but she'll get over it." Lawrence grumbled.
Ron was going to say something back to Lawrence, but he couldn't quite read the emotions on his best friend's face. He looked tensed with anger and stress, but his eyes also seemed close to pooling over with tears. Either way, he knew he wanted to be alone with Adam.
"Hey, babe?" Ron grabbed David's hand. "Let's go to the cafeteria and get some breakfast, okay?"
Lawrence let a small smile cross his lips only for a second to thank Ron silently.
"I'm not that hungry. But okay," David sighed.
They both left the room, and Lawrence sat by Adam's bedside, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up.
***
Adam's eyes snapped open quickly. So quickly he gave himself a migraine.
The last thing he remembered was sitting down next to Lawrence in the airport, and suddenly—he was here.
Where was here, exactly?
Adam sat up, and his head immediately swayed side to side. His vision blurred as he struggled to keep his body up. Before he knew it, he rolled onto his side and vomited on the floor.
The effects of the sedative hadn't fully worn off yet.
Laying onto his back, Adam looked at the ceiling and groaned.
A nurse was at his bedside cleaning up the mess he'd just made, and the doctor who'd been in charge of helping him was called in right away.
Lawrence tried to approach Adam, but was immediately stopped by the doctor. "He needs a minute, sir. He's just been through trauma, and I need to make sure he is awake for real this time."
The doctor stood over Adam's bedside. "What's your name, young man?"
"Adam Faulkner-Stanheight." Adam droned with his hand over his eyes.
The doctor looked at Lawrence and nodded, indicating to Larry that Adam was really awake. He could hear her and was responding.
"How are you feeling, Adam?"
"Like shit."
Adam slowly peeled his hands off of his eyes and squinted at the doctor. "Why am I here? How did I get here?"
"What's the last thing you remember, Adam?" the doctor pried.
"I was waiting for a flight at the airport with my boyfriend. And now I'm here." His voice trailed off in confusion. His puppy dog eyes glistened with the need to know what was going on. Lawrence couldn't contain himself.
"Adam? Baby, you had an accident." Lawrence rushed closer to his bed.
Adam looked up at him. "Lawrence?" he was almost crying. "What happened? I'm so confused."
"You had a PTSD episode," the doctor answered. "Something triggered inside of you and it evoked an extreme response. You dissociated from shock. Think of it as a stress induced type of coma for simpler terms."
Adam was embarrassed with himself and wanted to throw up again but managed to keep it down. "I want to get out of here," he gritted his teeth. "When can we leave?"
"You can leave today. We just have to file some paper work."
"Okay." Adam nodded stiffly.
The doctor left and Lawrence finally moved right next to Adam. He pressed his lips against his in a fury of emotion and then leaned back. "I missed you so much," Lawrence cried. "You remember me?"
"Yeah?" Adam half scoffed, half laughed. "Why wouldn't I?"
Lawrence looked down, embarrassed. "The doctor said these types of things can cause memory loss. And—you did forget how you got here."
"I could never forget you, babe." Adam cupped Lawrence's cheeks as they both cried. "I love you so much."
Suddenly, Adam let out a breath of pain.
"What is it?" Lawrence asked worriedly.
"My ankle fucking hurts," Adam grunted. He removed his blanket to see his ankle was coated in a dressing. Peeling the white fabric up a little, he peered underneath to see the stitched up gashes on his skin.
Adam let go of the bandage and looked up at Lawrence with fear in his eyes. His lips quivered as he asked the question he already knew the answer to. "Did—did I do this?"
Lawrence closed his eyes and nodded reluctantly.
"Oh my god." Adam's voice broke as a shudder ran through his spine. He'd torn apart his own body without even knowing it. He was terrified of himself in every way.
Sobs wracked his body while Lawrence embraced him. "You're gonna be alright," he cooed. "Everything is okay now, Adam."
The doctor interrupted them, calling Lawrence out of the room to fill out a form. As he held a clipboard and a pen, the doctor spoke to him seriously.
"Was this the first time this has happened?" she asked.
"Yes." Lawrence answered tiredly.
"Since this hasn't been a regular occurrence, I wouldn't go ahead putting him on a medication then. It would be smart of him to have therapy, but not necessary. He just needs to know his triggers and stay away from them."
Lawrence handed her the clipboard and pen. He was about to go, but asked her a question he didn't want to. "What do I do if this happens again?"
"Hopefully it doesn't come to that. But if it does, take him to the hospital again. You never know how long it will last, and he needs water and nutrients."
Lawrence nodded in understanding. "Thank you for everything, doctor."
"Just doing my job," she smiled sadly before disappearing down the hall.
Lawrence watched her go in silence, and he was just about to go back in to Adam's room when he heard a commotion behind him.
Turning around, he saw two stretchers being rolled quickly. As the beds moved behind the curtained area, blood trailed along the floor. At least five doctors were crowding around the patients as they were placed on beds.
Lawrence stopped dead in his tracks and peered at the situation. As best he could anyway.
He thought he saw the glint of a familiar watch when they were rolled by, but he couldn't tell.
Dumbfounded at the amount of noise coming from behind the curtain, Larry froze. His feet stayed on the floor as he tried to observe afar.
The curtain covered everything, so all he could do was listen.
Sounds of feet scuttling across the tiled floor caused pent up anxiety. Soon, the fast beeps of two heart monitors filled the air.
The beeping sped up as the doctors screamed and cried.
"They're losing blood too fast!"
"I don't know what to do!"
"We're losing them!"
Quick enough, two long tones rang through the air.
Whoever they were, they were dead.
Lawrence didn't understand why he was so intrigued. These two strangers had him captivated. Probably because the prospect of almost losing Adam was haunting his mind, and the idea of death itself caused Lawrence enough pain.
Lawrence's heart beat sped up as he shuffled towards the curtain. Pulling it slightly open, he peeked his head in.
What Lawrence saw made him sick.
The two bodies looked like they'd bathed in blood. Their skin was pale as snow and their eyes were open wide as they both lay dead in the hospital.
When Lawrence saw their faces, he knew he made no mistake in recognizing the watch.
It was a TAG Heuer. The present he'd gotten Ron three birthdays ago.
"No," Lawrence breathed in disbelief as he couldn't take his eyes away from David and Ron's bodies.
"No! No!" Lawrence was screaming now, rushing into the closed off area toward's their beds.
A doctor was immediately trying to escort Lawrence, grabbing his arm and speaking calmly to him. "Sir, you can't be in here. This is a private sp—"
"No!" Lawrence shook his arm free. "I know them! I know them," his yelling died down to a cry.
The doctor looked over at the others in a panic, not knowing what to do. He cautiously watched Lawrence as he silently moved across the room.
Larry looked at David for only a second. The man who'd saved his life was dead. His eyes open but vacant. It hurt his soul to see such a funny, selfless man earn this fate.
Covering his mouth with his hand, he turned to Ron. A sob tore through his throat as he looked into his unmoving pupils. Blood was still pooling into his bedsheets.
"How..." Lawrence asked the doctor without turning around. His voice was barely audible.
"Car crash." The doctor who'd tried to remove him answered sadly. "You really shouldn't be in here, sir."
Lawrence ignored him, looking down at his dead best friends.
This has to be a dream? Lawrence denied what was in front of him. They were just here. They weren't in a car.
"They didn't have a car on them," Lawrence whispered to himself in hopes that this was somehow a mistake. It was just two people that looked like Ron and David. That's all.
The doctor knocked down his ridiculous conspiracies. "They were in a taxi. A mac truck hit them from the side at an intersection. The driver died on impact."
Lawrence was suddenly angry. He was angry at the world and angry that his friends left. And without telling him?
He was angry that he would never be able to see David smile again.
Angry that he would never hear Ron call him "tiger" another hundred times.
He broke.
Collapsing to the floor, a guttural sob ripped through his larynx as he struggled to breathe.
All of the doctors were frozen, watching as death affected someone once more.
Lawrence felt like he could not cry enough over them. His tears spilled one after the other but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
Larry jolted when he felt a pair of hands on him.
Thinking it was a doctor again, he cried in agony, "Get off of me!"
"Hey, shhh." A soft voice whispered into his ear.
"Adam?" Lawrence looked over his shoulder to see his boyfriend up and moving. The sight somehow made him the slightest happy, but only for a second.
Lawrence stayed on the floor, crying into Adam's arms. It was only a few hours ago that Adam needed him. He probably still did, but Lawrence couldn't focus on anything.
Adam couldn't bare to see Lawrence this way. He heard his screams from down the hall, and when he found what had caused them, his stomach dropped. The two of his closest friends lay dead and bloody in front of him.
It took all he had to not let his body go into another shock already. He wanted to escape this world. The world where one wrong thing happened after another.
But Lawrence needed him. So he stayed.
"Come on, Lar. We're going home." Adam whispered into his ear while slipping his hands under his arms to help him stand up.
Lawrence went blank and let Adam blindly lead him away.
Upon leaving the hospital, Adam checked Larry's phone for him.
There was one text message from Ron.
6:31 AM
Took a taxi to some cafe downtown. My picky boyfriend refused to eat the hospital food. See you later tiger :)
***
Once Adam and Lawrence had booked a flight and boarded it, Larry fell asleep immediately. Adam was not surprised at this. All of the trauma had taken a physical toll on the both of them.
Once Larry was out, Adam cried.
He'd been holding it back for Lawrence because he needed him. He needed to be strong for Larry like Larry was strong for him.
But now he could finally let it out.
He didn't care that the plane was full of people who were probably staring at him. That didn't stop him from clutching at his sides as his breath shook. He couldn't stop seeing the picture of his only friends gone.
Adam had never had friends like that before. He was so grateful that he finally had other people to care about him. But now they were gone forever.
Adam didn't think there was room for more hurt inside of him.
Suddenly, Lawrence's phone was ringing.
Lawrence did not stir, so Adam grabbed it for him. He saw that it was Alison.
For a second, he almost hung up. But something inside him made his thumb click accept before he could even register what he was doing. "Hello?" he spoke, stifling his tears.
"Adam?" Alison sounded confused. "Where's Larry? Is he okay? Can you put him on the phone?"
Her voice was filled with worry and pain. All this time Adam was expecting her to just yell at him, but he didn't stop to think of how this whole situation was affecting her too. Her ex husband was across the county with his new boyfriend, and she didn't know what was going on.
"Hello? Adam? Is everything okay?" her voice was shaky.
The question hurt Adam even more. Nothing was okay and he didn't know how to tell her. His lips pursed and he couldn't hide his cries anymore. "No. Ron and David died."
Alison knew Ron very well, but not David. She knew of him though through conversation. Her heart broke for Lawrence and Adam. She knew they meant a lot to them. "Oh my god. How?"
"A car crash." Adam's throat was threatening to close up.
"I'm so sorry," Alison whispered into the phone. "Can I talk to Larry?"
"He's asleep. I'm not going to wake him right now. He needs rest."
"Okay," she understood. "But just—as soon as you land? Come to my house. The both of you. Okay?"
"Okay." Adam's voice was barely audible before he hung up.
He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
***
Lawrence slowly placed three knocks on Alison's door. Adam stood by his side, holding his other hand.
Alison ripped open the door immediately. Her heart broke at the sight of the two men in her doorway. It was clear that neither of them had showered in a few days, and the bags under their eyes were puffy and large.
Alison dragged them inside and embraced Lawrence tightly. "Lawrence, I'm so sorry."
Lawrence cried into her shoulder and Adam looked at the floor until Alison turned toward him. He awkwardly looked at her, trying to decipher whether she was going to yell at him or not.
She cautiously stepped closer with a sad look on her face, and Adam knew that she wanted to console him too. He awkwardly and slowly lifted his arms for a hug, and she pulled him in quick, surprising him.
When she pulled away, she gripped his arm lightly and gave him a look. Her eyes were apologizing for never giving him a chance, and Adam gave her a light nod of acknowledgement. In that moment, they both surrendered their hatred.
Turning back to Larry, Alison grabbed his hands. "You should sit down," she tried to comfort him.
"Daddy?" a small voice caught everyone's attention.
"Diana!" Lawrence cried, running toward his daughter that he hadn't seen in months. "Oh, sweetheart, I missed you so much." He planted kisses on her forehead.
"I missed you too, Daddy." Her smile turned into a frown of concern. "Why are you crying Daddy? What's wrong?"
Lawrence's mouth didn't work.
Diana looked over his shoulder at her mom for answers, But Alison was frozen as well.
"Who's that?" she pointed over at Adam.
Adam looked at the ground awkwardly, not knowing what to say. His head snapped up when he was shocked at what Alison said from beside him.
"This is Adam, Daddy's new special friend." Her voice wavered, as Adam could tell she didn't feel fully comfortable with what she was doing. Alison just wanted Diana to leave so she wouldn't worry about her father.
"How about you go show Adam your room while Daddy and I have an important talk?" she raised her eyebrows. Turning to Adam, she signaled with her eyes for him to follow Diana.
"Okay!" she smiled, grabbing Adam's hand and pulling him along.
***
"And that's Mr. Waggles. He's my favorite stuffed animal of mine." Diana smiled with pride after showing off all of her collection of toys.
"That's very cool." Adam responded lamely as he sat on the edge of her bed.
Diana walked up to him and eyed him suspiciously. "You don't talk much, do you?"
Adam kept looking at the floor. He didn't know what to do.
"So you're Daddy's new boyfriend?" Diana asked innocently out of the blue.
Adam looked up with wide eyes and his mouth hung open.
"You don't have to lie," Diana said. "I already know. Mommy thinks I don't know what special friend means," she laughed to herself. "She's wrong. I'm smart."
"Yes," Adam grinned for the first time. "I'm your dad's boyfriend.
"So does this mean I'll have two Dad's?" she asked.
"Woah," Adam put up his hands and laughed. "Slow down, kid. We're not married or anything."
"But will you ever get married?"
This question stumped Adam. He'd thought about it. He really did. But he didn't know when or how to bring it up, and now was a worse time than ever.
"Maybe," is all Adam said. He felt awkward around Diana. She was a kid, so bright and full of life. And he was a trauma ridden soul. He didn't know how to act.
"What's wrong? You look like you want to cry." Diana's soft voice cut through his thoughts.
Two tears fell off Adam's face and he quickly wiped them away, internally cursing at himself for letting a kid see him like this.
"Hey, it's okay to cry," Diana spoke gently. "Mommy always tells me that. Daddy was crying too, what's wrong?"
Adam couldn't lie to her face. But he also couldn't tell the whole truth. "Something bad happened," he nodded sadly.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Diana whispered.
"Sure, kid."
"Something bad happened to me too."
Adam saw an underlying sadness in her face that wasn't there before, and he knew: she was talking about Zep.
Adam had completely forgotten that this little girl had been affected by Jigsaw too. This notion made him want to cry all over again. But he held back.
"You know," Adam tried to give stupid advice. "Bad things happen in life. And when you get older, they're gonna keep happening. But there's always more good, kid. Remember that."
"Okay, I will." She nodded seriously.
Her bright smile was back after a few beats of silence. "I just thought of something!"
"What?" Adam chuckled.
"I can't call you Dad, cause that's Daddy's name. But I can call you uncle Adam!" she beamed.
Adam couldn't help the fat grin that spread across his face. "Yeah. Yeah I guess you can."
Diana suddenly tackled him into a hug.
Adam's heart hurt, but he still had Lawrence.
And now Alison had somewhat forgiven him for his existence, and her child had taken a special liking to him.
Adam lost two friends that night.
But he gained two more.