AN - So guys..... It all comes down to this....
In case you didn't see the message that I posted on Monday, Option ONE/LONG won!!! wooo! So here we have possibly the longest update of my life!!!! I hope it was worth the wait for you guys!!
I literally cannot believe that we're here.... Like.... This feels like the end of an era in a sad way, haha. Now Back For You really seems properly over, now that the prologue is finished too!!! Can you believe this???????
I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRRRRRRRR
I'm gonna post an AN after the actual writing, doing all the soppy shit, haha. For now, basically I just want to explain what the epilogue actually is. The epilogue is basically four 'flashbacks' from Back For You. You know how in BFY, I wrote a lot about their earlier relationship??? I basically skim-read the fic and found my four favourite 'flashbacks', and wrote them out in more detail!!!!! I hope you like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you all, so fucking much, my lovely sweetums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving Out:
It was snowing outside.
Unseasonably early too, it was only November.
Louis and Harry were cuddled up in Louis’ bedroom, three thick blankets cocooning their bodies together, their thighs intertwined and their lips sharing heat as they pressed themselves into a pile of cushions at the head of Louis’ bed.
“S’fucking freezing.” Harry mumbled into Louis’ mouth, the movie that was playing on Louis’ Mac completely forgotten from its position at the end of the bed.
Louis’ desk had a few stacked books littering the wooden top, but the majority of the surface was covered in Yankee Candle jars of various scents; the tiny flames creating heat and filling the room with the sweet scent of vanilla, cinnamon, toffee apple, spice and salted caramel – there were a lot of candles...
The navy curtains were pulled closed, but there was still a bright light shining through from the cracks, the street lamps reflecting off of the white snow and creating a white luminescence.
“I know,” Louis said, brushing his lips against the underside of Harry’s chin, “My Mum said that the heating is being looked at tomorrow – she thinks the boiler has gone to shit or summat.”
Harry shivered comically, and licked Louis’ nose, “We should go to mine, where it’s not too cold to take clothes off...”
Louis giggled embarrassingly, and then fell silent when an idea hit him.
“Harry, I’ve been thinking…”
“Oh no…” Harry laughed, “I warned you that was dangerous!” he teased, eyes glittering.
“Seriously Harry.”
“Sorry babe.”
“I was thinking…” Louis said, coughing nervously, “Do you want to move out? With me?”
“Huh?” Harry was confused, and Louis was looking painfully nervous.
“We can get a place, somewhere nice and roomy, and we can live there… Together…” Louis continued, before panicking and realising that, oh god, he’s springing this on Harry! He hasn’t even mentioned it before! They haven’t talked about this! They’re only eighteen! “That’s if you want! You don’t have to! Oh Lord I’m pressuring you aren’t I? You don’t have t-”
“Shh, Lou,” Harry laughed, “I want to. That would be amazing. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They sat in silence for a moment, legs still entwined, the room still freezing, the candles still burning – but suddenly, everything felt more.
More promising.
More hopeful.
More comfortable.
More loving.
More safe.
More them; more Harry and more Louis.
“I’m so fucking in love with you.” Louis laughed.
--------------------
First Christmas:
Louis and Harry had only just moved into their new place a couple of months ago, and there were still a couple of boxes stacked in the hall, waiting to be unpacked. The walls were freshly painted, lots of ivories, duck-egg blues and mossy greens, splashed across sofa throws and vases. Their IKEA catalogue was still sat on the coffee table, pages upon pages of the storage section folded over because it turned out that Harry couldn’t get enough mismatched shelves – “It feels more homey like that, Lou!”
The chaos of their flat aside, it really did feel like home, and it was Christmas Eve-eve-eve and Harry was angling their video at Louis’ bum as he stretched to put the silver star at the top of their Christmas tree.
“I really don’t know why you’re filming this,” Louis wheezed, his lungs stretched out as he balanced precariously on his tippy-toes.
“Because you look cute.” Harry said, sounding vaguely offended that it wasn’t completely obvious to Louis.
Louis scowled at Harry over his shoulder, wiggling his bum a little just to make Harry giggle from where he was leant lazily against the wall, “You know, babe, it wouldn’t hurt you to actually help me.”
It’s a tease, and they both know it.
They’re only just both eighteen, and it’s like they’ve been married for twenty years already. Harry is constantly live the over-attentive husband, trying to make Louis’ life easier, and they have their routines, and Niall and Liam take the piss, but they both fucking love the domesticity.
They love how they know that Louis always wakes up first (five minutes before their morning alarm goes off, for Louis to get to work at the restaurant he worked at with Niall), and he’ll make the morning tea. They both love how when Louis returns to their room, Harry was always comment ‘You should let me do that one day babe, you deserve to stay in bed too’, and how Louis will always reply with a tea-sticky kiss on the forehead before he passes Harry his own tea and clambers into bed beside him. They both love how, if they have time, Louis would take Harry’s mug and shove it onto his bedside table once he was finished, and then clamber onto his lap and lean down to kiss him messily. They both love how after Louis had a shower and was ready for work, Harry would always offer to walk him down to the restaurant, but Louis would always decline and tell Harry to ‘stay home and write beautiful music about my fantastic sex ability’. They both love how Harry would have always cooked dinner for when Louis got home from work, and how they would then do the washing up together afterwards – belting out Beyoncé together, dancing around the kitchen in their socks. They both love how they would then watch the Antiques Roadshow and Family Guy together before stumbling to their room and fucking lazily.
It’s comfortable. It’s familiar. And they love it.
“Nah I’m alright thanks,” Harry said easily, “I like the view too much from here.” He announced happily, giggling madly when Louis threw a rogue bauble at his head.
Eventually Louis finally managed to hook the cone at the bottom of the star over the tallest point of the tree, and he dropped down onto his feet again with a satisfied sigh, “Does it look okay?” Louis took a step back and gave the tree a questioning once-over.
Harry hummed something nonsensical as he moved across the room, wrapping one arm around Louis’ waist – the other arm holding the camera up high to film him pressed tightly against Louis’ back, “It looks nice.”
“Just nice?” Louis smirked as Harry began peppering the right side of his neck with damp kisses, it tickled and Louis wriggled slightly in the warm hold of Harry’s body.
“Mm,” Harry hummed again, clearly not focusing as he licked the indent of Louis’ collar bones with no real intent, “You look nice.”
“Oh really,” Louis laughed, twisting in Harry’s grip and taking the camera from him, pressing the ‘stop’ button and giving Harry a significant look, “It’s my birthday soon, you know.”
“I do know.” Harry smiled, trying to lean down and kiss Louis, but failing when he ducked his head out of the way.
“Do you know what that means, my sweet Harry?” Louis prompted, licking his lips in a way that Harry hoped was meant to be lascivious, because god help Harry if he could resist Louis.
“It means that you owe me sexy things in preparation for my day of birthday royalty.” Louis said simply, eyes burning hotly into Harry’s although his voice gave nothing away
“I like birthdays.” Harry replied.
~~~
They say you never forget the first person you fall in love with. Somehow they will always be a part of you, a part of your world, your heart. This thought didn’t panic Harry, like it did when he was thirteen and determined to be a bachelor for life, instead it excited him. The thought that he will never forget Louis, in all his life, even if something happened someday to tear them apart – was exciting.
It hit him properly for the first time, when he awoke on Christmas morning with the opposite side of the bed empty – but the warm scent of cinnamon, honey and ginger wafting through the door, Louis’ soft singing following the familiar smell of Louis’ famous ginger biscuits.
Harry decided to wait in bed for Louis, his presents hidden under the bed – ready to surprise Louis with a one or two (before they take the others to open and Louis’ Mum’s house), because Harry was in love, and it wasn’t scary at all.
A couple of minutes later, Louis tip-toed through their bedroom door, carefully in case Harry was still sleeping. He had their video camera clutched, filming, in one hand and a plate of warm ginger biscuits in another. Louis noticed Harry sitting up in bed, smiling excited at both Louis and the biscuits (mainly the biscuits), and Louis aimed the camera at Harry because he looked so, so beautiful – hair tousled and chest bare, duvet pulled messily over his lap and his eyes bright, in their shared bed on a Christmas morning.
“I love you,” Louis said, climbing into bed after he passed the plate to Harry, he kept the camera aimed at Harry, and he was pleased he did because the smile that exploded on Harry’s face was simply breathtaking.
“I love you too.” Harry whispered, taking the camera from Louis to hold the camera up and tilt it down towards them as he kissed him.
“Why are you filming us kissing?” Louis giggled, hiding his face in Harry’s neck.
“Because I want to document everything about you, especially the blush on your cheeks right now.” Harry breathed, running one gentle finger down from Louis’ collar to his chest, “I love you.”
~~~
Christmas at Louis’ old house was always hectic. Four younger sisters mixed with presents and chocolate always made for an eventful visit – and it didn’t help that Harry was awed to almost god-like level, and whenever the girls got the faintest whiff of Harry they would bounce off the walls – sometimes literally.
“Harry, over here!”
“No Harry, look at my new bag!”
“Harry, isn’t my present to you the best one?”
“Harry, come play with me!”
“Harry, make out with me in my tree-house in the garden.” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear after he crept up behind him sneakily, as the poor boy tried to pick out which girl to look at as they all squealed excitedly.
Harry laughed loudly, and noticed that Louis was filming again. At the beginning, when Harry had suggested that they should film their first year living together – Louis had seemed pretty apprehensive, but now Louis is always reaching for the camera and filming them as they get ready for a dinner date at Gina’s or when the boys come round for a FIFA and beer evening.
“You’re such a loser.” Harry laughed, voice tangibly fond. He lifted his vanilla cupcake that Lottie had given him earlier, and smeared some of the creamy icing on Louis’ nose. “Whoops, cutie.” Harry grinned widely, then licked the icing off.
Louis spluttered with laughter, and stuck his tongue out at his sisters when they groaned simultaneously, “You guys can take the piss, but I’m the one with the hot boyfriend!” Louis crowed raucously, grabbing Harry’s free hand with his own, to pull him out of the living room and into the hall to make out with him there instead.
~~~
“Christmas has been looovely,” Harry said, camera held high to avoid any unfortunate double-chins, as he clambered up the stairs towards the bedroom he shared with Louis, “And now we’re back; I’m exhausted; I just locked the front door; Louis’ waiting for me in bed, and we’re gonna have some festive shagging!” He announced, glee bright and clear in his voice, he lowered his voice slightly “I wonder if Louis would let me put a bow on his dick...”
Harry pushed open their bedroom door to see Louis sat cross-legged, shirtless on the bed, and suddenly Harry wanted to do everything to Louis all at once.
Harry moved his way across the room, kneeling up onto the bed and crawling between Louis’ now splayed legs, “Can I put a bow on your dick?” he giggled.
“Fucking kiss me, you nerd, I want you.” Louis mumbled into Harry’s mouth, pulling him into a kiss, hoping Harry had pushed the ‘stop’ button, because Louis wasn’t about to let Harry go until they were done.
--------------------
Second Holiday Abroad Together:
The city was absolutely heaving, all the time. I mean, it’s to be expected in New York City, Louis supposed, but wow – he didn’t realise that it would so different compared to London.
Having said that, Louis absolutely loved every second of his holiday with Harry.
They had spent the past hand in hand, traipsing round the city and spending ludicrous amounts of money on crappy, plastic souvenirs and clothes upon clothes and coffee after coffee. Harry had briefly commented on the fact that they could buy clothes at home, and maybe they should save some of their money in case they decide to stop off anywhere else more tourist-y, but Louis had happily pointed out that they could buy American brands without the heart-stopping international-shipping costs – and Harry had happily pulled out his wallet again.
After one especially successful shopping trip, Louis had pushed Harry down onto the bed and left Harry sprawled on his back as he scurried into the ensuite and changed into the spray-on skinnies and slightly sheer tee that he had bought whilst Harry was in a fitting room. When he emerged, Harry choked on his tongue, and it felt like a religious experience.
“We’re fucking right the fuck now.”
~~~
However at that moment, they were currently cuddled up on a bench in Central Park watching a family play with their new puppy and it was so lovely and simple.
“I want a dog.” Louis announced.
Harry laughed, and tightened his arm around Louis’ shoulders when he felt him shiver, “No we should get a cat, dogs hate me!”
Louis cooed and kissed Harry softly, his cold lips appreciating Harry’s warmth, “I’m sure they don’t really...”
“No, Louis...” Harry laughed, “They really do.”
Louis laughed loudly and pulled out of Harry’s arms to face him better, his face lit up with laughter, “Are you serious?”
Harry blushed, “Yeah, one once ran around a tree so fast that I had to let go of their lead and then they ran into a river and just hid until their owner had to climb in and carry them out.”
Louis made an inhuman sound as he laughed, but Harry could see him shiver. Harry pulled his woollen beanie hat off his head, shook out his curls, and tugged it down over Louis’ head, “Don’t get hypothermia and die, honey, I’d miss you too much.” Harry mumbled pulling Louis into a two-armed, full-bodied hug, hooking his head over Louis’ to open himself up as a human blanket.
--------------------
Their Annual Holiday To Canterbury:
It was always the same B&B.
It was an adorable - privately owned - thatched cottage, a five minute walk from the beach, that an old couple had converted into a business, which they had then handed down to their grandson when they became too old to run it by themselves. There was a strong sense of family there, and Harry was obsessed with the old family photos that hung in the entry way, because ‘how adorable is this Lou? I want to do this with you when we’re old, start a B&B and hang photos to brag to our guests how fucking cute our family was.’
The rooms were decorated with antique knick-knacks, and the beds made with dusty-rose silk sheets, and the bathroom had big brass taps and a huge mirror. The breakfast was always the same: buttery crumpets and chocolate croissants, hot tea or coffee, and a bowl of grapes.
It’s just, it’s perfect.
That’s it really, that’s all that Louis and Harry can say about their annual holiday to Canterbury.
They would travel down together in Louis’ car, overnight bag stuffed in the boot, with homemade travel mix-cd’s filled with the Spice Girls, Atomic Kitten, Nirvana, Green Day, Mariah Carey, the Drums, the Killers and the Beatles blasting out of the speakers. They would arrive in Canterbury and drop their bags of in their B&B, before heading down to the beach to buy an ice cream and paddle in the ocean, skinny jeans pulled as high up their calves as possible. It was always slightly chilly, but Harry would dream of those hours by the beach, with Louis, all year round.
Louis always loved summer because it meant Harry in shorts and white t-shirts, and no matter how many times Louis told Harry that he should wear shorts more often because he looked damn fine in them, Harry never believed him.
It meant awkward tan-lines in the shape of trunks that would make Harry giggle as he traced them across Louis’ body with a forefinger, and soon they would be giggling together because Louis was ticklish.
It meant numerous trips to the pub with the boys (when they travelled up for the last day) to have chips and a pint in the pub garden, and Louis wouldn’t stop laughing the entire time because it was great just to be with them.
It meant a long-awaited trip with Harry up to Doncaster to visit his family, then a trip to Cheshire to visit Harry’s family; and that meant a few days either slapping Harry’s wandering hands away late at night because ‘No Harry, my Mum, Dan and my sisters are just next door and this is my childhood bedroom!’, or it meant a few hot and heavy nights with his hand pressed over Harry’s mouth, and his head buried in Harry’s neck to muffle any sounds that could give away any hints that there was anything untoward going on from within their bedrooms.
~~~
“I look stupid.” Louis said with a huff, staring down at the stark outline of his tan-line.
Harry looked up at Louis incredulously, from where he was knelt between Louis’ splayed legs, “I literally just pulled your shorts down and dropped to my knees, and all you have to say is that you look stupid?” Harry laughed despite himself, running one pointer finger along the line, “It’s cute, you knob.”
“It’s not cute.” Louis retorted, running one hand through Harry’s hair, “How can we have sexy time when I look like a zebra.”
Harry snorted, “You’re such an idiot.” He pushed himself up and grabbed Louis by the wrist, dragging him to their bed and pushing him down gently, then again so Louis was on his back, “Get over yourself; you only have one stripe, zebras have more than you.” Harry winked, climbed up onto the bed too, lying down next to Louis and hooking their legs together, heads side by side.
Louis smiled and kissed Harry, “You’re cute.”
Harry wiggled his eyebrows, “Cute enough to make out with?”
Louis huffed dramatically, “I guess.”
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AN - Okay, so guys...... I just want to say the biggest thank you in the entire WORLD!!!!
When I started Back For You, I had expected 1000 reads maximum! However it's now currently at over 680,000 reads!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??????????? That's fully insanse!!!!
Then I really enjoyed writing that fic, and I thought 'hey, lets do a spin-off prologue!!' and I thought no-one would read it because it was just me trying to continue BFY, but now its currently at over 190,000 reads!!!! What is my LIFE?????????? Like, in total, these two fics have well over 870,000 reads, and that is fucking mental!
Plus, throughout this entire thing I have been getting SUCH LOVELY COMMENTS!!!! Like, I cannot stress enough, just how much all of you mean to me. It sounds so cliche and I hate it, but like, I know you guys have a vague idea (from previous AN) that this year I have been quite ill throughout the year, and basically all of your amazing support when I couldn't write, and all of your lovely comments when I could, and the amazing messages you sent me..... I just, GOD IT SOUNDS SO CHEESY, but you really did all make me smile so much!! Thank you so much!!! I am so grateful to have had you all read my fics, because you're all so nice!!!
I have such kind-hearted readers, and wow yeah, I just hope you all have super lives, really!!!
You are all so lovely!!! YOU'RE MY LOVELY SWEETUMS!!!!!!! I looooooooooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuu
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PS. LETS ALL CHATTY CHATTY IN THE COMMENTS YEEEEAH