*EXTRA LONG FOR YOU GUYS (I THINK). PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER FOR THIS ONE. YOU'RE WELCOME.*
Chapter 76
Elizabeth's POV
That boy... That stupid, incompetent boy...is gone. I felt a weight leave my shoulders once Zalgo had thrown him down that fissure. My hands had stopped shaking and my head stopped pounding. I'm grateful towards my father. I couldn't stand that idiot, Jeff. Getting up and claiming he can still fight, like he's some hero. Humans like him disgust me. Why would they defy their nature of being nothing but cattle only to try and prove their existence wrong? They should just accept their pathetic roles in this world. Why are humans so fucking stupid? Their the worst things that ever existed.
I took in some deep breaths and enjoyed the peace I had for the moment. Honestly, I'm glad Lord Zalgo is going to wipe-out this whole realm. Less burden for him to carry. I can't believe I had faith in his place. Well, not me, in general. Stupid, naive Elizabeth... I actually feel bad for her, having to deal with these swines. Too bad she had to go. I'm sure she's much more happier where she's at. Better than staying in this fucking mess.
I stretched out my arms and popped my knuckles. I feel much better right now. I looked down at my blood spotted boots and the sudden image of Jeff came to my mind. He had that terrified and panicked look in his eyes, from when I was trying to corrupt him. At that time, something about that...utter fear in him had unnerved me. But why? I should've been happy to make him cower. But in the end I ended up letting him go and then...that's when my head started hurting. So did my chest. Something was toying with me. I kept screaming in pain and agony from something unrecognizable. A feeling I couldn't stand. That's when I knew I couldn't bear being around Jeff. He made me...feel something and that something was just crushing me from the inside-out!!! But he's gone...
More images of him flashed in my mind. Even when I closed my eyes I could still see his face and hear his voice. These moments were from Elizabeth's life, her memory. She...she's putting these things in my head. The images just keep coming, picking up their pace. I can hear his voice...
Morning, Sunshine!
You wanna check me out?
Dominant girl! Jeff likey.
I said I would protect you!
At least I'm not the one with the polka dot panties...!
I'm freaking...freaking GORGEOUS!
But, when it comes to you, I just can't help being selfish!
Who's the lucky guy?
I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy.
I'm only showing my appreciation for your luscious figure, Sunshine.
Ermegerd, you're so fucking adorable! I wanna eat you! Can I eat you?! I'm gonna fucking eat you!
You mean everything to me...
You hurt me, Elizabeth! You betrayed me! After all of that time spent being in my coma, this is what I come back to?!
His tone of voice made my head ache and I winced from the pain. But, they wouldn't stop.
If it weren't for my idiocy, you would've been dead countless times.
I still love you!
Tell me you're mine.
Roses are too mainstream. Tulips are much better. They're cute, just like you.
You're my light, remember that. And I wouldn't dare put you out. I need you. I need you more than anything else. Don't ever go out on me, Sunshine.
So what if you're weak? So what if you screw up? So what if you're worthless? There's nothing wrong with being a wimp.
Well then, call me a Cheeto, because I'm a super cheesy guy!
You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine~
Sweet dreams. I love you, baby.
Stop.
Ladies can't resist me.
You're my Sunshine. Your problems are mine now and we can fix them together. We always will.
Yeah, I'll strip for you!
You're beautiful.
I'm TIPSY as HELL!
...You have no idea how turned on I am right now...
Sweaty hugs!
I'm so happy to have you in my life.
Please...
Let me go down your rabbit hole, Sunshine.
Promise that once this is all over that...that you will still be alive. Promise me that you'll make it and I'll do the same.
Marry me.
I'm a coward. But I'm not weak!
I can't break Ellie's and my promise! Our promise!
I love you, Sunshine.
Make it stop...
Sunshine!
...Sunshine...
SUNSHINE!!!
Yo, Sunny D!
Hey, Sunshine!
Oh, Sunshine~
Suuuuuunnnnnnshhhhhiiiiinnneeee!!!
I love you.
Stop!
Love ya!
I love you so fucking much.
Love you, too.
I love you, Sunshine.
I love you, Elizabeth Umber.
I love you.
I love you!
I love you.
"I SAID STOP!!!!" I screamed. I clutched my head tightly; my knees buckling and my breath hitching. I shut my eyes and shook my head. None of that stuff matters. He's just a human. He's nothing! Nothing matters! He's just NOTHING! A piercing pain rattled through my chest and I clawed at where my heart was. I couldn't breathe. I choked on nothing. I couldn't hold up my own weight anymore and fell to my knees.
Images of people; friends, family.
Addie.
Johanna.
Ian.
My mother.
My real father.
NO!
Those are not my parents.
The memories kept coming, invading my mind and making me feel...something. They just wouldn't stop. All of the voices resonated throughout my head and their volume kept rising. Every memory. Young and old. Long and short. Beautiful and ugly. All of them just kept coming.
Elizabeth; me, so young and full of happiness and faith. Playing dress-up with mom or dad. Going to school and learning with other children who were just as bright. Growing up within the same house, making more and more memories to torture me. Maddy, Stephanie and Clare, teasing me, beating me, humiliating me. All of that pain and suffering. Addie and Johanna saved me from that. They got me back on my feet again. They taught me to have faith again. Faith in what, though? Then, Ian being a clown, making me laugh or growl in frustration. Always wearing a smile on his face. He knew the horrors of the unknown, yet still clung to a happy life and succeeded. He taught me hope. Hope for what? Jeff and the others. Strange at first, yet warmed up to me and welcomed me into a new world. They taught me a lot of things. But they mostly taught me strength. Strength in what? Out of all of them, what did my parents teach me? My mother, my dear father. The man and woman who gave me life, gave me love and care, a home, a family. They gave me a purpose. But a purpose for what?
AARRGGGH!!! NONE OF THAT MATTERS!!! None of it will EVER matter, in the end!
My breathing slowed and my body stopped aching. The feeling is going away. Thank goodness. I couldn't stand it anymore. I looked around for Zalgo to continue my duty, when I felt something pounce on my back and I screamed. I flailed around, batting my arms at whatever was on me. Catching a glimpse, I saw it was Scarecrow; her rag face contorted into a deep frown. "GET OFF OF ME!!!" I shrieked. She didn't listen and, before I could prepare myself, she raised up a familiar object. The second syringe that Jeff dropped. No! The cerulean liquid mocked me as it swished around, only for that brief moment that I saw it. Then, with one quick and hard motion, Scarecrow drove it into my neck and I felt the chemical enter my system. I froze and choked on the slithering feeling that coursed through me and seemed to...purify me. I could hear Scarecrow's voice whisper incoherent words in my ear, before she said two words, loud and clear. I widened my eyes in shock.
"For humanity..."
She jumped off of me and I fell forward, feeling utterly drained and deflated. I could feel my most vital attribute start to leave me. The chemical kept driving it away when I kept forcing it back to me. No! Come back! If I lose it then...she'll come back...! I can't let her come back! I have to stay! I have to.....-
Faith in humanity.
What?
Hope for a better tomorrow.
I don't...I don't understand-!
Strength in family.
Stop!!
And a purpose to...
STOP! DON'T SAY-!
Fight for the glory...
STOP!
Of a better life.
N...no..
For all that is good and, for all that is broken, I fight...fight...fight...for the glory of humanity...!
I couldn't take the pain and sentiment anymore. As the last of my malice left me, I could feel her coming back. I could feel her strength and determination and it was suffocating me. That antidote's effect seemed to be multiplying, and I knew it was her doing. I held my throat and choked, and with one last deep, wheezing breath, I knew that I lost already. This was it. "I....won't..." I couldn't finish my sentence as she finally came back, causing me to scream out. It hurt so much. The pain was too immense. It...hurts...
I...won't.....
I won't....
I won't let her in again...!
I screamed out as loud as I could scream, feeling the relief of gaining control wash over me. It felt amazing to finally use my true voice and not one filled with hatred and insanity. It felt amazing to feel my fingers, toes, everything. It felt amazing to just be back. And knowing I'll be staying feels even better.
But, I wasn't left unpunished. She was the only thing keeping the darkness here, the one that Zalgo conducted through me. And now that she's gone I could feel it retreating, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. I felt tremendous weight on me, like Atlas, the Greek being who was cursed to hold the world for all of eternity. My body felt like it was being impaled by burning spears everywhere. All I could see was black as every bit of evil came back to me, forcing me to take it all in and return it back to the wasteland Zalgo came from. I screamed until my throat should've bled but I stayed strong as I endured it. I knew I had to in order to take it away, plus I knew there was no use in resisting it. How many people have I killed already by letting this evil swarm the world? Many. I know it must be many. And I'm ashamed. But, no one else will suffer this darkness. Just...a little longer...
I clawed at the asphalt until my nails bled and breathed choppy breaths. And, just as I thought I would pass out, I felt a huge relief overcome me again and the air around me felt fresher; purer. I looked up at the dark sky to see that some of the red and black disappeared. There was some blue peaking through some areas. I smiled a wide smile and stifled a chuckle. But, it's not over yet. I still need to defeat Zalgo. I got onto my feet and took in good breaths. I realized how stupid and reckless I was being before. Thinking I could kill Zalgo? I'm an idiot. My grandmother established that he can never die. I can only defeat him and leave him for the next proxy. And, now that I remember her advice, I realize how incredibly stupid I was being. How could I have put aside her advice and information? I'm so inconsiderate.
The anchor. She said I need to destroy the anchor. All I need to do is find it and end this once and for all!!! But, what could it possibly be?
Before I could start thinking of a plan, I heard a deep voice bellow, "Elizabeth! What are you doing?! Come to me, now!" I turned to see the douchebag himself, Zalgo. He seemed concerned which didn't match his malicious look at all. I noticed something though. There was a lump of something at his feet. It took me a moment to realize that the lump was a heap of...hay and rags... No... That fucker!!!
"Scarecrow!!" I shrieked, feeling guilt and regret strike me. Immediately, Zalgo had established that I was no longer his destructive devil daughter anymore. He scowled hard and said, "How the hell are you back...?"
I gave him the same dirty look and growled, "Did you really think I'd sit back and watch as my world is overtaken by you? Not a damn chance."
He smirked and said, "I really hoped you would have stayed confined, but obviously that won't happen. No matter, I will still kill you and destroy your pathetic world. And, since you're of no more use to me, I can't have you around. You'll only hold me back."
I knew what he meant and, I'm ready for whatever he's got in store for me. I raised up my fists and noticed the Corrupted markings on my hands. I still had my bracers on, though that other me refused to use them and disabled them. I quickly fixed them and my blades popped out. I could see my reflection. I still had crimson colored eyes and a seemingly tattooed face, though that was due to the Corruption marks. I knew I fight better when I'm like this. I could feel that dangerous rage that Jeff and a few others have seen. I definitely feel it. And this time, instead of being reckless with it, I'll control it and use it to my advantage. I can do this.
I looked back at Zalgo and focused on one thing and one thing only.
I'm gonna kick his ass.
Jeff's POV
Falling. I'm...I'm still falling. God dammit, how long until I hit the bottom and die on impact? If I even survive, how can I get back up? I'll die down here anyways.
Everything around me is nothing but pitch blackness. No ounce of light could come down here. Nothing but broken Earth surrounds me. Though...that was proven wrong when I finally hit something. As I fell through it I could see....glass? Mirror glass. What...? Why is there a mirror down here? I could feel a pressure surround my body as I broke through it and ended up landing onto a floor. I groaned as I lay there, weak and injured. I was feeling so confused. How the hell did I reach a damn mirror and floor? Where the hell am I? I sat up slowly and looked around only to see nothing but pitch blackness again. I looked up to see if that mirror thing was still there. Suddenly, a source of light came and I jumped a bit actually. The light helped me out with finding the mirror. But, what confused me even more was that the mirror remains were right in front of me and not above me. I couldn't see anything through it though. Shit, I'm in too much pain to be going through some inception stuff right now.
I ignored the mirror remains and got up onto my feet. I wobbled a bit but I eventually got the hang of walking and picked up on a leisurely pace. I explored the place I was in. I couldn't really see much, despite the light that followed me around. I still couldn't even figure that out. Just when I was about to give up trying to find any logic in this place, another light shown a few meters away from me. I walked towards it, though the light that was following me stopped following me, leaving me to make my way in the darkness in between the two. I made it to the second light and as soon as I did another showed up. I had a feeling I'd be going towards more lights so I decided not to question this too. After what seemed like forever of following these strange lights I saw one last light turn on, though this time...it shined on a house...
It was awfully familiar and I walked to it out of curiosity and sudden nostalgia. Once I reached the front of it, I stopped to examine the whole thing. It looked like it was just built. It had a nice coat of paint and shining windows. Why is there a house here though? I had a feeling I had to go inside so I did. I opened the door and it wasn't locked. I walked inside and looked around the dark house. Suddenly, the door shut behind me and I jumped again. I probably shouldn't have come in here, but something about this place screams at me to explore because I know there is something here for me to discover. And, me only.
I walked around, running into furniture every now and then. I searched for a switch but nothing came up. There were lamps but none of them worked. I walked into what seemed to be the kitchen. The light that was outside helped me out a bit, as it shined through the window above the sink. I could see the counter around it and, grinned out of relief to see a rack of kitchen knives. I quickly shuffled over and pulled out a butcher knife. I checked the drawers, just in case if there's anything else I could use. Nothing. All of the drawers are empty. I walked to the refrigerator and opened it up only to find it completely empty too. I don't need to check the cabinets. I already know what the result will be.
Still on the search for something, I explored the rest of the house. I stumbled onto some stairs, literally, and got back up to go up. It was troubling at first but I eventually made it onto the second floor. The hallway was long and there were five doors. I had this feeling, like this was so familiar. I...I knew what are behind these doors. Somehow, I knew yet I'm clueless at the same time. I walked up to the first door and opened it up. I walked into what looked like a bathroom. Like the first one, the door shut behind me and I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to open it. I need to be in here anyways. There's something here. There's something behind every door in the hall outside.
I pulled back the shower curtains to see a clean, empty shower. I turned on the faucet and, in a desperate attempt for handling my thirst, I drank the water. At this point, this is the best thing I've got right now. I panted and sighed in relief as I felt cool water wash down my throat. I drank as much as I could. When I was done, I turned off the faucet and turned to the shower. It probably has water too, though I have no idea how that is possible. I turned it on and stepped in, letting the running water wash off the blood on my skin and clothes. I got out really quick to check the little closet for a first aid kit that I knew was in there, somehow. While the water ran, I sat on the edge of the tub and fixed up my wounds. I winced and groaned a lot as the stitching was painful, though it would save me. Once I finished, I rinsed off quickly before turning the shower off and stepping out, dripping water onto the tiled floor.
I looked into the mirror and stared into it. I felt a lot better now, but there's still something here. Not an object. It's something else that I can't really figure out. I sighed and looked down at the sink bowl. Suddenly, in the quiet of the whole house, I heard crying. It sounded very familiar. And very, very close. I looked around and it was just me. Where is the crying coming from? I looked back at the mirror...only to see someone else. Someone who died years ago...
The old me...
I was shocked. My choppy, brunette hair, peachy skin and blue eyes. My old features were back. Yet, as I felt at my face, I knew it was only the reflection. Though it still worked as a reflection and did whatever I did. I reached out and put my hand on the glass, the old me doing the same. When I pulled my hand away, there was a bloody handprint left. I touched to see if I had stained it but nothing smudged. The handprint was...on the other side...
A loud, agonized wail erupted and I spun around to see nothing. When I turned back, the old me changed, looking like how I was after my accident. Pale, disheveled, monstrous. I stared at my reflection and he did the same. I had a bad feeling, deep in my gut and, it was intensifying by the second. I didn't know what came over me. Something kept me from stopping myself. I raised up the knife I had and started to...cut into my face. The old me's cheeks began bleeding and tearing and my own cuts were only getting worse. I had to stop. But something didn't want me to! I realized that the crying I heard were my own desperate and miserable whimpers. I sounded so young and terrified. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, my reflection stopped, halfway through and took out a lighter. I wasn't moving at all. I was freaked out. He began burning his own eye-lids and I could feel the heat on my eyes and the skin around it. It was unbearable and I screamed out in pain. I covered my eyes and flailed around. I stumbled into the corner and sat there, writhing from the pain on my face.
I suddenly heard the door open and I looked up to see...someone else who died years ago. No... It couldn't be her..
"Mom..." I whimpered. She found me and I quickly turned away so she couldn't see me in so much pain. In the same soft, motherly voice she's always had, she asked, "Jeff, are okay, sweetie?" She sounded so concerned. Just like she had on that day. I shook my head and said, "No I'm not...! I'm not okay, please help me! I don't want to be here anymore!" She was trying to calm me down with assuring words and I couldn't resist the urge to see her beautiful face, once again. It's been so long. I turned around and looked at her, and gaped in awe at the terrifying similarity. It's really my mother. She's here, right in front of me. "Mom..!" I pleaded. I wanted to lunge up and hug her but the horrified look on her face kept me from doing that. Instead I watched as her eyes widened and her beautiful face was filled with utter fear. Her body shook and I noticed her inching away from me, bit by bit. I didn't want her to leave. She walked out, nervous and scared, and I knew what was to come. I immediately got up and ran out of the bathroom, only to see her nowhere. The bathroom door shut behind me again and I opened it up only to see wall. The bathroom wasn't there anymore.
I looked around the hallway and a realization kicked in. This house is so familiar because it was my house. My old home. The place where everything fell apart. I finally had the feeling of not wanting to be here anymore but, deep inside, I knew there were other things for me here. And I have a feeling they're not good things. I quickly made my way to my parents' bedroom door and nearly burst in. The door shut behind me as always and, as always, I jumped and turned to look at it. It's shut, I know it is. I turned back around to notice two lumps under the bed covers. Without reason, I cautiously made my way over to check, my knife ready in hand. I made it to the right side of the queen sized bed and clutched the blanket. With a strong yank I pulled the whole thing off only to find...nothing.
I sighed in relief, for some reason. My hold on the knife loosened and I turned around only to hear a loud bang and a bright flash. I flew back onto the bed and wheezed. I looked at my torso only to see a fucking hole in my chest...! I looked up to see another familiar face.
"D-Dad...?!" I whimpered. In his hands, was the shotgun he always kept for protection. He had an enraged look on his face and that sent a chill down my spine. I could feel my blood spill out from under me and soak the bed. I reached out a hand to my dad only to have it shot off. I screamed and yelled, "DAD, STOP!!" He didn't listen, as he still had the same angered look on his face. That's when I noticed something else that chilled me. He was cut up and soaked in blood. He looked just like how he did when I...when I killed him. I started scooting back on the bed, my legs kicking at the bloody blankets, but my dad was merciless as he shot off my left leg. I screamed again and felt more blood leave my veins. My body was growing numb from the pain and blood-loss. "DAD, PLEASE!!! P-PLEASE-!!!" I hacked up blood and wheezed terribly. I shifted my gaze over at my father and stuttered pleas and apologies to him, letting him know of all of my regret. Though, my efforts were extremely desperate, he didn't care at all. He only told me, in a harsh tone, "You little, piece of shit! You fucking killed me! After all the sacrifice and care me and your mother gave you, this was how you repay us?! You fucking disgrace!!!"
"Dad, please, I was scared and stupid! I didn't want to kill you! Just, please don't hurt me anymore...!!!"
He pumped the gun and aimed. I shook my head. "Dad, please!!! I know forgiveness is not an option but know that I'm already suffering! I've always been suffering!!! I'm so sorry!! I love you and Mom! I didn't mean to kill you!! The regret of your deaths has always been following me and it eats away at me everyday!!! I love you, Dad! I-I LOVE YOU!!!"
He stared at me for a couple of moments and slowly put down the gun. I smiled in relief and tears of joy ran down my face. My father walked around the bed and made it to the other side. He looked straight down at me and I reached my intact hand up to him. He glanced at it but ignored it, in the end. I froze. He huffed and muttered in the same harsh tone, "Stupid little boy..."
Before I could plead yet again to be spared, he raised up the shotgun and pulled the trigger, the barrel aimed right at my head. Everything went black after the loud bang and I knew I had died. Or at least I thought I had. I woke up outside of my parents' bedroom door and immediately checked my chest, leg and hand. No hole, no blown off hand and leg either. I especially had my damn head. I was okay. I was fine. I turned to the door and got up to open it. Like the bathroom door, there was only a wall behind it. I was done here.
My dread was increasing more and more. I just wanted to leave but I knew I wouldn't be able to. Besides, there's still more in store for me here. I know I have to see. I walked up to another door, knowing this was the guest room. I didn't see how this room had any relevance to anything of my past, besides just being an extra room. But I opened it and stepped inside anyways. I walked in to see it was exactly how it was, years ago. I got my knife ready, just in case anyone else wanted to blast a hole in me (though the knife would be useless again in that situation). Nothing was happening in this room. Maybe not all of the rooms had something in them.
Before I could decide to leave, I heard a voice. It was a girl's and she was...singing..
"You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my Sunshine away..."
It was sweet and soft. A voice that I felt an attraction to. It meant something to me. It took me a moment to notice a figure, sitting on the floor, on the other side of the guest bed. It was small, and the head barely poked out over the side. They were facing forward. I slowly walked forward and stopped by the foot of the bed, knife at the ready. Hesitantly, I spoke to the girl, "Hey...who are you...?"
She immediately stopped singing and that unnerved me greatly. She turned to me and my heart skipped a beat. My face grew warm and a feeling of joy overcame me again. "Ellie!" I practically shouted. She smiled up at me and said, in her sweet, little voice, "Hi!"
I dropped to my knees and reached out to her. Without hesitation this time, I hugged her tightly and cradled her in my arms. I teared up as she had asked, "Jeff, are you okay? Is something wrong?" I shook my head and mumbled in a shaking voice, "No. I'm okay... Just...I just need you right now..." I clutched her small frame tighter and embraced the peace I had. She didn't object of this, which I was glad for. As I held her, she spoke to me, "Jeff, are you sure there's nothing wrong?"
I nodded on her shoulder and she kept speaking. I just wanted to hear her voice so I let her talk. "I'm worried for you right now. You seem scared." I nodded on her shoulder again and mumbled, "I've missed you..."
"I...didn't go anywhere."
I didn't say anything to that. She kept going. "Listen, I'm not sure what's wrong but, whatever happened is freaking you out. Is there anything I can do...?"
I mumbled to her, "Just let me hold you...please..."
"Alright," she said, and that relieved me. I stayed holding her, for what seemed like a wonderful eternity. Finally, she spoke once again. "Jeff...?"
"Yes?" I replied.
"Are you really okay...?"
I was confused by this and said, "Yeah, I am. Why do you ask?"
There was a long pause of silence that unnerved me again. When she broke the silence to reply, she said, "....I'm not feeling too good..."
I grew worried. "Why? What's wrong? Ellie?"
"Please stop..."
"Ellie what's wrong?"
"Jeff, please..."
"What the hell is wrong? Ellie please tell me! You're scaring me!"
"...Y-You're scaring me too..."
"Wh-What am I doing? What happened? Please, just tell me!"
"Jeff...?" Her voice was filled with so much sadness.
"What is it, Sunshine?" I was ultimately concerned.
She wheezed, which fueled my concern. In an airy voice, she said, "...Please pull out the knife..."
My whole body tensed up and I shook. I finally looked down in between us and began trembling as I saw my knife, logged into her abdomen. She was bleeding out, blood soaking her clothes and mine as well. I shook my head and muttered, "I-I didn't do this...! I didn't!!!"
"J-Jeff-!" She coughed up blood and I went to pull the blade out but my body wouldn't listen. If anything, my hand only pushed the knife in deeper. "Jeff!!!"
"I'm trying, Ellie! I really am!" I laid her down on the floor and tried desperately to pull the knife out but I kept doing the fucking opposite! Tears of frustration brimmed my eyes and I cursed aloud. When I finally pulled it out, I only ended up stabbing the knife back into her stomach again. She screamed in pain and tears fell from her beautiful blue eyes. "Jeff, stop! Please!" she pleaded. I wanted to stop but my body wouldn't listen to my brain and I kept stabbing her and stabbing her, my movements becoming more frantic and violent. She cried. Ellie cried and cried and cried and I could do nothing to help her. Her screams were all I could hear. It shattered my heart, yet no matter how badly it hurt to stab her I couldn't stop. Blood spilled out across the floor and stained our clothes. It was everywhere and it sickened me. I'm killing the love of my life!!!
Finally, after destroying her stomach with seemingly thousands of stab wounds, I stopped and watched her bleed out and cry silently. She mumbled my name...over and over...reaching out towards me. I wouldn't take her hand. No matter how badly it shook and dripped blood I would not hold it. I just sat and watched her slowly die, knowing she was suffering, knowing that the last thing she would see was a monster. When her wheezing breaths stopped and her body stopped shaking, I knew that she was gone. I sat there, staring at her lifeless body, feeling helpless and ashamed of what I had done. How could I have done such a thing? Why couldn't I stop? Why?!
I hung my head in sadness and shame, tears dropping every few moments. Despite that she lay dead, right next to me, I could hear Ellie's voice singing that song from before.
"You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my Sunshine away..."
I shook my head and covered my ears as her voice echoed and surrounded me, mocking me, tormenting me. I rocked back and forth, screaming to block out her beautiful singing voice, but it was no use. Her voice was now permanently stuck in my head and it wouldn't stop. "I'm sorry...," I whimpered. "I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry...! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!!! I'm sorry!!!! I'M SORRY!!! I'M SO SORRY!!!!" My apologies meant nothing, though that was likely. I murdered my precious Sunshine. Ellie's singing kept resonating, to the point where my head started to ache and my vision blurred. I doubled over and clawed at the carpet floor. "I'm sorry..." I mumbled. "I'm so sorry..." After enduring the head-splitting singing, my vision started to fade and go dark. With one last apology, my vision finally blacked out and Ellie's singing was all that I could hear...as it ever so slowly...faded...
"...You are my Sunshine... my only Sunshine,
...You make me happy...when skies are grey.
...You never know, dear...how much I love you
...Please don't take...my Sunshine...away..."
...
I woke up outside of the guest bedroom door, like I had with my parents' room. As soon as my head cleared, I bolted up and yanked the door open, only to see the wall. I punched it and clawed at it, wanting to go back, though I knew I was done in this room. I punched the wall one last time, screaming out curse words in sadness and rage. I can't take this fucking place anymore. But, I have to end this!
Atone For Your Sins, Mutt.
I remember Zalgo telling me that before he threw me down here. Is that why I'm here? To repay for all the bad I've done? I understand my parents...but Ellie? Why was she here? Why was she a part of this? I've hurt her but never have I done anything as shameful as what I did just now, in the guest room. I would never do that to her. I wouldn't make that mistake again. Whatever shit that bastard, Zalgo, is putting me through, I won't let him have the satisfaction of letting this place break me. I'll finish what I'm supposed to do here and I'll make sure I get it through Zalgo's fucking head that I will NEVER be torn down by his games. Never again...
I went to my bedroom door this time and opened it up. I was less nervous than before, feeling a lot more confident in finishing this. I wondered what was behind this door. What sick, twisted game will await me in my room. I tightly grabbed the doorknob and, with a determined yank, I threw open the door and stepped in. The door shut behind me though I didn't jump this time. I brought out my knife and scanned the room for any sign of life or something else. I check the closet; nothing. Under my bed; nothing. Nothing was here. Though I knew there was something in here for me. Just not yet.
"Hey!" I heard a voice call. I turned around and saw a girl, probably no older than thirteen or fourteen. She had chocolate brown hair, light skin and bright, emerald eyes. She stared at me intently. She seemed like a spunky teen. I furrowed my brow and asked, "Who are you? Why are you here?"
"Name's Jane. What are you doing here?"
I stared at the girl in shock. This is Jane? Holy crap, she looks...normal. She stared at me, waiting for me to answer her question. "I don't really know," I replied. She gave me a look and shrugged. "Alright," she muttered as she strolled over to my bed and plopped down on it. She reached over onto my nightstand and picked up a comic book, which she started reading casually. I was confused. Why is she not trying to kill me or something? Well, this is the old Jane. But still...what's the point this time...?
"Hey," I started, "you didn't answer me when I asked why you were here."
She peaked over the top of the comic book and said, "How should I know, if you don't know either?"
I frowned. "Just answer the question," I demanded.
She frowned back. She sat up, slightly slammed the comic book down onto the bed and said, "Don't get antsy with me! You're the one that barged in here with a friggin' knife. You're lucky I'm not screaming my lungs out."
Jeez, even when she's her old self, Jane's a bitch. Seriously, what is the point in this?! Do I need to endure Jane's sass? Is that the punishment? What the fuck?! Really?!
She went back to reading the comic book and I immediately grew annoyed by this. I walked over and yanked it out of her small hands. "Hey!" she shouted. I threw the book to the other side of the room and said, "Listen, I'm here because motherfucking Zalgo threw me down here so I could atone for my damn sins. I've seen and been through some shit, and when I came in here I expected more of that crap. But instead I'm stuck here with your bratty ass! So do me a favor and show me what punishment is in store for me in this room! Now!!!"
Jane stared at me for a bit and stifled a wry laugh. "Why didn't you say so?" she said, which threw me off guard. Suddenly, she combusted into flames right in front if me and I yelped and backed away. I watched as her skin charred and burned before my eyes. When the flames died, she was the Jane I grew to despise. Black hair, paper white skin, black lips and those vengeful black eyes. She got up from the bed and held out her hand for me. "Come with me. I want to show you something." she told me. I was hesitant to take her hand. Knowing her, as soon as I do, she'll draw out a knife and stab me in the throat. Not that she's done that before...
This was just some game. I got pulverized by a shotgun for crying out loud. I'm sure I'll survive Jane. I took her hand and a white flash engulfed my vision as soon as I did. When it subsided, I was in...a recess yard?
Jane walked out from behind me and made way towards a table. I followed her and stopped beside her. "What are we-?" I started, but couldn't finish as she shushed me and pointed to the table of children. I looked at each kid, four of them here. Three of them, I didn't recognize, but I recognized one. It was Jane. The old Jane that I saw before. They were all discussing something and it seemed important so I listened in.
"Hey, did you guys check out the two new kids?" one girl brought up.
A second replied, "Yeah! I heard they're brothers! They do look alike. One of them is, what? Fifteen?"
"Yeah," the third girl established, "the younger one is in our grade. To be honest, the eldest is kinda hot..."
Young Jane sighed and rolled her eyes as the three other girls giggled. The second girl added, "What about the other guy?"
The third girl shrugged and said, "Eh, he's alright."
I frowned. "Bitch..." I mutter immaturely and the present Jane smacked my shoulder and shushed me. I huffed and continued listening to the girly conversation. The first girl looked past Jane and the third girl had gasped. "Oh my gosh, the youngest is right across the yard! Look!" All four of them look over to check out the old me, sitting alone and playing with my hoodie drawstrings. "Do any of you know what his name is?" Young Jane had finally taken a part in the conversation. The second girl answered her with, "Yeah. I think his name is...Jeff! It's Jeff!"
"What a lame name," the third girl muttered. I scowled at her. I'm gonna find her once this is all over and I'm gonna kill the bitch.
The four girls kept watching me. After a few moments, Young Jane said, "He looks lonely. I'm gonna go talk to him-."
"Hell no!"
"Don't do that!"
"Seriously?"
The three other girls protested of Jane's idea and she gave them a puzzled look. The third girl (Bitch) said, "Don't go talking to him. There's probably a reason why he's sitting alone."
"Guys c'mon," Jane started, "he looks like a nice guy. Plus, he's new. We could probably teach him the ropes around here."
"Don't go, Jane," the first girl pleaded. Jane looked at her friends, then at the old me, then back at her friends. She sighed and muttered, "You guys are jerks."
"We're just looking out for you," the second girl said and, patted Jane's shoulder. Jane only rolled her eyes and listened as the three other girls changed the subject to something else.
The scene shifted to a classroom. Kids were sitting behind black lab tables. This is a science class. I could see Jane on the second front row, and me at the very last table to the back. I never realized how much of a loner I looked like until now. The science teacher had began class and had told everyone to pick a partner. Friends immediately partnered with friends and, of course, I had no one to pair with. At least I thought I had no one to pair with. I saw as Jane rejected an offer to pair with another student and, instead, went to ask to pair with me. I had agreed since I had no one else who wanted me and we sat together. Once the work was assigned, I could see how Jane was socializing with me. She would talk to me, though I didn't talk back that much. As I watched the two of us, so young and innocent, sit together and share (somewhat) of a conversation, something clicked in. And that something was proven when the scene shifted to Jane standing in the hall with her friends, talking about me and how much of a nice guy I was.
"He doesn't have that many friends," she had said, "but he's nice and cool! I enjoyed hanging out with him. Which is why I want you guys to meet him!"
The three girls disagreed, leaving Jane quiet and looking disappointed. Pieces were being put together in my head. The scene shifted and it seemed to be set...after Liu went to juvy and I was left alone and distraught over his absence. I hung out under a tree in the recess yard and watched as other kids ran around, playing soccer, basketball or childish games like tag. Jane and her friends were on the other side of the yard. "He looks so sad," the first girl stated.
"I'd be pretty depressed too if my brother went to juvy," the second girl said.
"But you don't have a brother," the third girl said.
"That's why I said if, smart-ass," the second girl replied.
The third girl gave her a look and waved her off. Jane just watched me as I sat alone. She looked pretty concerned. She began walking towards the old me, when her friends pulled her back and told her not to go over. She snapped. She started yelling at them, her light skinned face turning red as a cherry as she scolded her friends. "You three are so inconsiderate! Can't you see he's suffering?! He's all alone now and all you guys want to do is leave him in pain! It's bad enough he was lonely to begin with! Now his brother is gone and he's devastated! I want to help him through it! I'm actually trying to get him to open up to me! I...I...I want to be his friend! And all you guys do is keep me from him! I'm trying to become friends with him, not do some damn satanic ritual! Fuck you guys!!!"
Young Jane stormed away from her friends and into the school building, clearly not in the mood to be around anyone at all. The scene faded away and I ended up back in my room. I looked to my right to see the Jane I knew and hated. I forgot she was even with me. She turned to me, her black eyes boring into me, and said, "Do you understand now?" To her relief, I nodded. I can't believe I never noticed. All Jane ever wanted was...to be my friend. "I wanted to help you," she started explaining, "I wanted to make you feel welcome and not so lonely. I know you had your brother, but when he wasn't around you just seemed so...lifeless. And when he was incarcerated...it seemed like you completely broke apart. I never understood why my friends didn't want me hanging out with you. Though, now I see why, you wouldn't have been this way if you just had someone to keep you company in the dark."
She walked over to my bed and sat at the edge, sighing sadly. She stared down at the floor, looking a little glum. "I thought I could...save you from the loneliness. I tried so hard to befriend you, but I realize that my efforts weren't enough, were they?" She looked up at me. "I really did think you were a nice guy and you never deserved what happened to you. But..." Her voice wavered and went from glum to slightly angry. "...What you did to me, was something that no person should endure. After all of that time, wanting so badly to hang out with you, in the end, you burned me alive, butchered my parents and nearly left me for dead. And no, I wasn't trying to be your friend out of pity. I wanted to be your friend because you really were a great person. Though...I don't think you even knew that yourself..."
I just stared at her, so many emotions running through me. I'm an idiot; a douchebag; a total fuck up. I slowly walked towards her and, with a shaky hand, touched her shoulder. She looked up at me and I said, "Jane...I'm...I'm so sorry..."
She sighed and mumbled, "You're a little too late for that, Jeff..."
"I-I know but...still...I put you through so much shit and I feel terrible for it now that...now that I finally realize. And, I'm guessing it was obvious, but...I was oblivious to your care and kindness...and I'm sorry for that, as well. And, I wish, I had the chance to take it all back... But monsters don't get second chances.."
She hung her head and I heard her mumble sadly, "....I miss my mom and dad..."
I hit my breaking point. I practically pounced on her and brought her into a tight embrace. She gasped from surprise and I just trembled against her as the wild emotions in me finally became too much and I broke down once again. I apologized many, many times, and though I knew they meant nothing at this point, I still said them. I hiccuped and sobbed like a child, which was humiliating, but at this point humiliation was the least of my worries. I'm far too screwed-up that humiliating doesn't even begin to describe myself anymore. I've never felt so stupid and broken since now. This isn't a painful, physical punishment like the others, though it's still painful. I don't know what's worse: having your body desecrated or having your emotions and psyche messed with and far more shattered than it was before.
"Jeff," Jane said and I stopped hugging her to see her. But I only came face to face with the old Jane. She gave me a small smile, though her emerald eyes showed far more greater emotion. She cupped my face in her hands and she told me, "I can never really forgive you for what you did. But, I have more peace of mind knowing that you finally know the truth. So, if we ever see each other again, I hope you keep in mind what you just learned. I'll always miss the old, awkward Jeff." She giggled and brushed some locks of hair out of my eyes. I raised up a pale, trembling hand and cupped one of her smaller ones in it. "I wish things would've been different..." I murmured.
She sighed, "Me too. But, people change." I shook my head and clutched her hand tighter. "Just so you know," she started, "I don't hate your guts...at least, not this version of me anyway. But, there's a part of the other me that still wants to make amends. Though, I doubt she'll ever show it. I...just thought you should know." I nodded and mumbled my thanks. She smiled one last time before telling me, "You're done here. I'll be seeing you around."
I froze up and stammered, "W-Wait what? B-But-?!"
"Bye, Jeff," Jane said and waved me one last little good-bye before she combusted again and the flames clouded my vision until I blacked out, once again.
When I came to, I was outside of my bedroom door, just like all the other times. Though I knew the result, I still opened the door to see nothing but sheer wall. I sighed and looked over at the very last door. Just one more and this will all be over. I made my way to the last door, knowing whose room this was. I was nervous. Because of what's inside or because it's the last room? I figured it was both. I took in a deep breath and hoped for the best. I can do this.
I grabbed the doorknob and counted to three.
1. I got my knife ready.
2. My grip on the knob grew tighter.
Finally...
3. I barged into the room, knife out and ready to slash. But, I was taken off guard as this room looked nothing like how it was years ago. This wasn't his room at all.
I had walked in on a wide area, cold and dark. I pushed aside the confusion and unsettlement, and walked forward. I kept walking and walking until it seemed like hours went by. I groaned, but before I could figure out something else to do, torches lit up, one by one as the flames spread around the area. Where did the torches come from? I realized the uselessness of questioning that and refocused on the situation at hand. I kept walking, following the torches down corridors; going in circles, finding dead ends. I was growing frustrated with this place. Nothing seemed to come up but more and more torches. As I kept walking, I came across a corridor that was unlit. Something was off about this one. Knowing this was it, I made my way through the dark corridor.
Pitch blackness and silence. The two things I used to appreciate yet now I can't stand. My footsteps echoed around me, simultaneously beating with my heart. After more seemingly endless walking, a single torch was lit and revealed...a figure. Who are they?
I took a few cautious steps before calling out to them, "Hey! Who are you?! Can you hear me?!" They didn't respond. For a moment I thought I would have to get much more closer to them, until they started to turn. I got ready, raising my knife and fist in the air. The tension was rising as they slowly turned and once they had, I had to focus on them to see them clearly in the dim light of the lonely torch. My body froze. Everything locked and I couldn't move a muscle. My brain stopped processing and my heart seemed to stop too, though I could feel it pound against my rib cage at a disorienting rate. I felt a mixture of joy and fear. I was just...I couldn't process anything...
Despite the new attire; which consisted of a black trench coat, dark green shirt, black pants and boots, a black and white striped scarf that stood out, and the stitches that lined nearly every inch of his face, I recognized that brunette hair and those piercing forest green eyes. I knew who this was. And a part of me wanted to embrace his presence. But another part of me...knew that I had to run...that I had to escape and pray he's not around every corner I turn. I was overjoyed. I was scared. How was this possible...? In a small, quivering voice....I said one word....one name...
"Liu?"