Lily was still feeling well through Christmas and the New Year. It was bittersweet, but Christine put on a cheery face. One evening Sara invited her over to her little apartment, and she broke down. Sara felt helpless except to listen. She texted the doctor that evening.
🗨S: Christine finally broke down.
He didn't respond, and eventually Sara went to bed. She imagined he didn't see her text because he was with his wife. Were they having sex? She thought about sex a lot. It was foolish because her own experience with it was almost nonexistent and her chance of changing that wasn't likely. She had two bad experiences before twenty-one. In Africa, she only had eyes for Joe and she hadn't met anyone else since her return. She amused herself by reading romance novels and fantasizing about a married doctor.
The following day, he didn't apologize for not responding, but asked about Christine. He promised to visit and left on his lunch hour. The man who was texting her three to four nights a week had stopped communicating with her. Did his wife tell him to stop?
Nick had purposely avoided her text. They would have texted for a while about Christine and then she would cut him off. It reminded him she had a life, but he didn't. As much as he enjoyed their conversations, they left him feeling lonelier.
Evenings were the loneliest for him. There was only so much television he could watch before it would become repetitive. The husband always did it. Uncovering great mysteries were never great. Sitcoms were becoming more stupid than funny. He could call Tim or Clare or his parents to talk. It wasn't too late for any of them, but they would just try to make him feel better. The problem was he wasn't sure what was making him feel sad anymore. He called Tim, who could tell he was lonely.
"I think we should go skiing," Tim said.
"I can't go skiing." Nick protested. He hadn't skied since before the accident.
"Jules will take your kids. She would prefer them to me underfoot."
"She loves you and you know it." Nick was jealous of the happy couple next door.
"Yes, but she is always willing to get rid of me for a day."
Nick considered if he wanted to spend his day off with his brother. "Does she know about this idea of yours?"
"Hold on." Nick heard muffled voices. "She said to go have fun."
"Alright, but just for the day."
Maybe fresh air and physical exertion was just what he needed.
One morning Saturday in January, Sara was shopping for food when she heard her name being called. She turned to see Bridget. Chasing after her was a woman pushing Jack in a shopping cart.
"Bridget, don't run off," she scolded.
"Sara! I want to see Sara!" Bridget whined.
The woman looked at Sara and smiled. "You're Sara! I'm Julie Burke, Tim's wife. I have my special friends for the day. They're off skiing."
Julie was taller than Sara, but only by an inch. She was beautiful and youthful although she was in her fifties. The older woman was blessed with attributes that Sara had not been, specifically blond hair and curves. Sara knew her lack of curves was the reason men never asked out.
She responded to Mrs. Burke's announcement that the doctor and his wife had left their children in her care. "Lucky you!"
"I've heard only good things about you, Sara."
Bridget said, "See she sounds like Granny!"
"She does." Julie agreed and turned to Sara. "I'm glad to meet you, but we need to be home before nap time. Come on, sweetheart."
Bridget rushed to Sara and hugged her legs before she ran off to follow her aunt. It didn't surprise Sara that Tim's wife was friendly, because he was easygoing himself. Sara had never skied, but she imagined the doctor and his beautiful wife spending the day together. She needed to stop, because if she ever met his wife, she may be too jealous to be polite.
On Monday morning, he said, "I heard you saw Bridget again. My daughter is your biggest fan, aside from Lily."
"It's mutual. Did you have a nice day?"
"We did. It was just what the doctor ordered. Do you ski?"
"No, not much skiing in Africa." She joked.
"What about when you were a kid?"
"Not in London either."
She could have skied in high school or college, but she never had an interest or the opportunity. She didn't remember any of her friends running off for ski weekends. After an awkward pause in which he was studying her intently, he turned and walked away. He confused Sara more with each passing day.
In the middle of their conversation, he was reminded of how her tiny body felt against him. Then he noticed her eyes. They were an incredible blue with specks of gold. It was hard to look away, so he abruptly ran away from her.
An emergency call interrupted him at the end of the day. Lily had suffered a seizure. He quickly told Tim who agreed to call Jules to pick up the kids.
Sara met him at the door. "I'm going over too." He nodded.
When they went to the door, Lily's father, Gordon ushered them in. Lily was on the sofa, conscious, but groggy. He examined her and attempted to talk to her. She wasn't answering, so he looked at Sara. She squatted down and spoke to Lily.
"Lily, honey. Lily, it's Sara. I came to see you."
"Sara." Her voice was weak.
"Yes, how do you feel?"
"My head hurts."
"Dr. B. is here. He wants to talk to you."
Sara looked up at him and he felt like she was pleading with him to help her. There wasn't anything he could do. He felt helpless.
He said, "Hi Lily."
Sara watched as he spoke to her. He checked her pupils again. Then he went into the kitchen to talk to her parents. Sara stayed with Lily and Daphne, who looked frightened. She soothingly talked to both of them. She was singing to Lily when they came out of the kitchen.
Sara sensed him looking at her as she finished the song. Lily was asleep. Sara jumped up when he started to leave.
"Could you wait a moment for me, Dr. Burke?"
He nodded. Sara hugged Christine and Daphne goodbye while he watched.
Once outside, she said, "Thank you for waiting."
"I assume you want to know what we discussed." She nodded. "Can we go someplace away from their house?"
She said, "The office."
"How about the café around the corner?"
The café was one step up from a diner. They both ordered tea, which Sara would have found funny if she hadn't been upset about Lily.
He said, "Get something to eat. My treat."
He ordered a sandwich, so Sara did the same.
He said, "The seizure didn't appear to cause any damage, but it was the first of what would be more."
"Is this the beginning of the end?"
"I believe so. She had been complaining her head hurts."
"It's hard to believe that she's fading away," Sara whispered.
"This is the hardest case of my career. Lily is a very special patient."
He was as affected as she was. He cared as much. "You're lucky."
He tilted his head."Why is that?"
"You can go home and hug your healthy children."
He smiled and Sara felt his smile places she shouldn't. "They'll be asleep soon, but I will in the morning. Hold on a minute." She waited as he used his phone to text. "I needed to send Tim an update."
Sara wondered if he told his wife he would be late, because he was having a sandwich with her. They ate quietly. They were each lost in thought. Any conversation would be trivial compared to their concern for Lily.
"I was afraid that you might cry again." He broke the silence.
"Sorry."
"There is nothing wrong with crying, I just meant you may not want to cry here." He looked around the café.
"I'll cry later when I'm alone."
He looked at her. She thought he wanted to say something, but he didn't.
It was her turn to get a text. She responded to Poppy that she'd visit over the weekend.
"I should go soon," she said.
"Stay. Have some dessert."
"I shouldn't. Don't you need to go home?"
"Probably." He answered with no enthusiasm.
His face looked as sad as she felt.
Nick hoped Julie didn't mind staying. He enjoyed being out with Sara. He wished it was a date, but it wasn't. It was too solemn of an evening to be anything other than what it was.
When they walked outside, she thanked him for her meal. Before she walked away, he said, "Come here."
He held out his arms. "For later when you cry alone."
She slowly walked into his open arms, and he closed them around her. He held her in an embrace and concentrated on remembering just how good she felt against him.
She remembered he was someone's husband, and abruptly she broke free.
"I have to go."
She quickly walked to her car without looking back. When she sat in her car, he was standing on the sidewalk looking in her direction.