"Ground control to Taylor Swift. Ground control to Taylor Swift. Come in, Taylor."
She didn't.
"Taylor Swift, come in."
Silence.
Once more, desperately, "Taylor, this is Houston. Come in, Taylor."
Next to her Harry slammed his hand on the desk. The loud thump it made shocked the others around them out of their stupor. "We lost her," he said.
"Ground control to Taylor Swift," Karlie said. Her voice was level, measured. She was cognizant of the people around her, standing up and shaking their heads. She knew Harry had his hand on hers, was trying to pull her away.
"She's gone, Karlie," he said. "She's gone."
"No."
Harry sat back down. He looked around the room, where most people were still standing near their chairs, uncertain. "You heard her," he said. "Get back to work."
He wasn't looking when Karlie shot him a thankful look, but he knew all the same. Mission control was usually a tense room. It had never hit this level of intensity.
"Can you hear me, Taylor?"
"Can you hear me, Taylor?"
She laughed, rolling across the bed and its endlessly white sheets. "Yes, Kloss, I can hear you. You're right there."
Karlie grinned back at her. "Just wanted to make sure your hearing hadn't gone."
"Not yet. We'll see when I'm back. One day when we're old I'll get one of those giant ear horns and hobble around asking young gentlemen to just say that one more time, please."
Taylor caught the pillow Karlie threw at her effortlessly, which was probably why she was the soon-to-be-astronaut and Karlie was just the programmer getting her up there. "And you'll get preferential treatment on airplanes."
"You will too," Taylor said, her tone suddenly suspiciously casual, "once we're married."
Karlie rolled her eyes. "Married to you? They'll have to cart me off to a mental ward if I ever agree to that."
"Wonder if they've still got electroshock therapy," Taylor mused. Karlie felt her slip off the bed but didn't turn to look. Taylor was just padding around in her socked feet.
"At least they don't do lobotomies anymore."
"Glad to know you'd marry me over getting a lobotomy."
"I'd marry you either way," Karlie said. "I'd just be crazy to."
"Crazy in love?"
"Maybe."
"So are you?"
"What?"
"Turn around, Karls."
She did. Taylor was at the foot of their bed on one knee. Olivia was next to her, pushing under one arm. But Karlie wasn't looking at their cat. Instead, she was looking at the delicate ring Taylor was holding.
"Karlie Elizabeth Kloss," Taylor said, solemn, "will you make me the happiest woman in the universe-on Earth or on Mars-and marry me?"
"Fuck," Karlie said. "I mean yes, but like-fuck. Fuck Taylor. Yes. I love you so much."
Instead of slipping the ring on gently and letting Karlie admire it, Taylor tackled her backward onto the bed. "I love you," she whispered into Karlie's ear.
"Put my ring on, jackass."
Taylor did. The small sapphire on it glinted in the light of the moon.
Karlie worried the ring, turning it over and over as Harry took over. "Ground control to Taylor Swift," he said. "This is your commander speaking."
"She's okay," Karlie told him.
"I believe you," he said.
As the hours wore on, Karlie was having trouble believing herself. Taylor was the smartest person she knew, and she'd seen the woman get herself out of some ridiculous scrapes. But she also wasn't the type to leave them hanging. If she could talk to them, she would've.
"When are we calling it?" her voice was soft, low enough that only Harry could hear.
"Not until we know," he replied, every bit as quiet. "Not until we're certain."
Karlie stared at the monitor, at the blankness where Taylor should be. Her back ached from the time she'd spent hunched over her keyboard, desperately trying every way she could think of to get back in contact with Taylor and her tiny, ridiculous ship. Minerva was meant for one, always had been. NASA had wanted to send more, but the funding wasn't there. When Taylor died-if, she corrected herself firmly, if Taylor died-she would be all alone.
The idea came to her in thinking of Taylor being alone.
The call lagged so much that Karlie felt she and Taylor were practically having different conversations, but it was worth it, worth anything just to be able to hear her voice. "Happy birthday, Tay," she said.
"You gonna sing to me?" In the recording, Taylor's voice was pitched lower, but it had all of her familiar intonations.
"Want me to?"
"Always. I already sang to myself, though. Figured if it was good enough for Curiosity, it was good enough for me."
"I'm sorry I can't be there with you. 30. It's a big one."
Taylor's laugh came through the speakers loud and clear. "Karlie Kloss, as much as I love you, I am grateful you aren't with me. I wouldn't be able to get through a day without worrying about every hair on your head."
"I can take care of myself."
"But why bother, when I'm here to do it for you?"
"Get the Curiosity team in here, stat," Karlie snapped.
Harry raised an eyebrow in her direction. "You looking to change fields, Kloss?"
She turned to look him dead in the eyes, something she hadn't done since they'd lost touch with Taylor ten hours before and this whole fiasco had started. "What's the only other thing NASA has contact with on Mars?"
His sharp intake of breath told her she was onto something. "We can send it to her last known position."
"All we can do is hope it was nearby."
"It is." That came from Jourdan, who was surrounded by three different computers and about ten people. "It's twenty minutes away, maybe, and they're sending it there now. It'll take half an hour to an hour and if she's not there I don't know what we'll do, but it's a start."
Karlie closed her eyes. Right now, Taylor was like Schrodinger's cat. She was both alive and dead until Karlie opened this box, the one that would tell her whether she was about to be a widow before she even entered her third decade of life.
That hour was the longest of Karlie's life.
"I want to feel like a princess," Taylor said. "It's my day and I get to be a princess if I damn well please."
Cara snorted from the corner where she'd been on her phone for the entire fitting. "I'd say Karlie is prince material, but I'm not sure you'd be my first choice for a princess, Swift. I'm pretty sure most princesses don't beat someone in beer pong and then spend a full minute burping in their face."
"Well, that was your first mistake," Taylor said primly. "You shouldn't have lost to me."
"Babe, no one can beat you in beer pong," Karlie replied. She didn't pay attention to Taylor's response. She was too busy staring at a dress in the corner, one that she was certain was hers. It was ivory and had a mermaid style flair. It was simpler than all the ones Taylor had been looking at, but it was calling for Karlie.
"That one," she told Taylor, pointing at it. "That one's mine."
They all looked over but it was Taylor who responded. "Yeah." Her breathless tone matched Karlie's. "Yeah, that one's yours."
"Curiosity is at the capsule," Jourdan reported. "It's going around it now. No major signs of damage so far."
"Major?" Harry asked.
"I can't see anything at all, but Curiosity's pictures aren't the sharpest. We'll get the better quality ones soon."
"Do what you can," Karlie said. She was on the edge of her seat. Her fists were so tightly clenched that one nail drew blood without her even noticing.
"It's going around now. Wait-there she is. There she is. She's standing."
Karlie's heart was in her throat. Taylor might have been standing, but that didn't mean she was alive. Something could have gone wrong with the capsule. She could be running out of air. She could still die there. It was so easy to die on Mars, if you ever made it there at all.
"She's waving!" Jourdan's exclamation was higher pitched than usual, and loud in the stillness of the room.
Everyone erupted in cheers. Everyone but Karlie, anyway. She couldn't relax, couldn't be happy until she knew that Taylor was coming home.
"She's holding up a notebook," Jourdan reported. "Can't read it yet. We're focusing Curiosity in now."
Harry reached back and caught Karlie's hand in his. "Fuck," he whispered. She agreed.
"Tell Karlie I love her," Jourdan read.
The tension flowed out of Karlie, but not in the way she'd been hoping for. If Taylor was starting with that, it meant something was wrong. It had to. She wasn't going to come home. Taylor was never going to come home.
"Also she's a giant fucking dork," she continued.
"True," Harry said, clearly before he'd thought about it. "Sorry," he muttered immediately afterward.
Karlie shrugged. The pain hadn't hit her yet. If she was lucky, it wouldn't until she was safely in the bed she shared with Taylor. Had shared. Meredith and Olivia wouldn't judge her too harshly if she retreated into bed and refused to emerge until she'd cried herself out.
"Another one. It says, comms are down but I can hear you."
Harry leaned forward. "Taylor, this is Harry. We're reading you loud and clear."
"She's pausing to write."
Karlie was still listening, but only with part of her brain. She was too caught up in her memories of Taylor. She wanted to press them into her heart, the way she moved with grace until she ran right into a wall, the way her voice sounded when she was sleepy, the way she smelled right after a shower.
It was supposed to be sunny the morning of their wedding. Instead, Karlie stepped out onto their balcony and into the rain.
"It never rains in Texas," Taylor pouted the moment Karlie told her the news. She was still in bed, her hands curled around the coffee Karlie had brought her.
"St. Louis is not Texas," she replied. "Thank god."
"Don't act like it's my fault you live there, Kloss. You wanted to work for NASA every bit as much as I did."
"I'm not complaining."
"Could've fooled me."
"Don't make me walk away before we've even hit the aisle."
Taylor snickered. "Like you would ever."
"You're right," Karlie said, turning to face her. She was haloed by the rising sun, so much so that Taylor wanted to shield her eyes. She had no clue how she'd gotten so lucky. "Marrying you is the best decision I've ever made."
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," Taylor replied. Then she threw a pillow directly at Karlie's face. "If you're half this sentimental during the wedding I'm going to cry and ruin all of my makeup and it'll be all your fault."
"You aren't even ready for my vows."
"Bring it on. My vows will make you weep like a baby."
"Try me."
Karlie stalked closer. Taylor put her coffee down on the end table. Karlie kept coming closer until they were nose to nose, and then she captured Taylor's lips in a kiss.
"This is going to be the best wedding ever," Karlie said.
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure we all knew that, since I'm in it."
"I love you more than anything in this universe or the next," Karlie said, and Taylor pulled her in for another, longer kiss.
"Oxygen levels are fine."
"Is there anything out aside from comms, Taylor?"
"She's shaking her head."
"Good. I'm glad you can hear us and that you even wrote it down, because what I'm about to say is an order. I'm pulling you off this mission. You're coming home, Taylor."
Jourdan was silent. The only thing Karlie could hear was the beating of her own heart in her ears. There was no way Taylor could be okay, not when they'd lost touch with her. Not when she'd gone silent on them, a dark spot in the endlessness of space. No one can hear you scream in space.
"I'll see you there," Jourdan read at last.
"We'll be looking forward to it, Taylor." He looked at Karlie. "You can say anything you want."
She switched on her headset and said the first thing that came to mind, "When you come back, I'm letting Meredith kill you for scaring the life out of me."
"She's making a heart hand symbol."
"Fuck. Fuck Swift, I need to see you."
Karlie half stumbled over to where Jourdan was sitting, leaving her headset haphazardly on her chair. The people crowded around made space for her, stepping back so that she could see over Jourdan's shoulder.
It was Taylor. She was in her giant, puffy space suit and her curly hair was tied back away from her face, but it was undeniably her. She smiled as if she knew the moment Karlie could see her and held up the same sign again. Tell Karlie I love her, it said in her small, loopy cursive.
"I love you too," she said, even though she was away from the headset and there was no chance in hell Taylor could hear her.
"I love you," Taylor mouthed, and it came through in three distinct pictures from Curiosity.
"Karlie," Harry called, his voice gentle, "we have to let Taylor go now. It's time for her to come home to us."
She knew she was nodding, but all she could think about was the possibility that something could go wrong on the way home and she would never see Taylor again. She looked back at the screen where Taylor was still kneeling, waiting for her. As far as last glimpses went, this one wasn't the worst.
"Ground control to Taylor Swift. It's time to come home. Godspeed."
Taylor gave Curiosity one last wave and then pointed into the distance.
"She wants us to move the rover," Karlie translated. "She doesn't want Curiosity to get hurt by her rockets taking off."
Harry gave the order. "Do it."
Taylor stood slowly and turned away. She shot one last look at Curiosity over her shoulder, but then the rover turned around and they could no longer see her.
"Godspeed, Taylor Swift," Harry said. "Godspeed."
"So, what's your aisle strategy?" Cara asked. She was sprawled out on a couch eating peanuts despite the fact that she was already in her pale pink dress and her makeup was done.
"Taylor's walking," Karlie said. "You were literally at our rehearsal. Anyway, she's had this princess fantasy since she was a little kid and I don't want to risk tripping over my dress."
Cara laughed at that. "You're the last person who should be clumsy, Kloss. You could've been a model if you weren't so fixed on sending a girl to Mars."
"The first person," Karlie said. "I'm going to send the first person to Mars and you'd better believe I am not Elon Musking this. I'm going to get her back too."
"You'd better. I'm not losing one of my best friends to being torn apart in space."
"She'd probably die in an explosion." Karlie paused to consider the morbidity of that statement. "Statistically, I mean. But can we not talk about this?"
"Yeah." Cara's response was subdued, even for her. "So, how do you feel about becoming Mrs. Swift in T-minus one hour?"
"I'm keeping Kloss."
"Would you stop holding out on me?"
Karlie looked up with a grin so bright it could blind the sun. "I've never wanted anything more in my life."
"I believe it," Cara said. "You sappy, radiant asshole."
"I'm marrying Taylor Swift."
"Yep." Cara popped another peanut in her mouth. "So, what do your vows sound like? How many times do you reference scissoring?"
"Zero." She sounded a bit petulant at that, but Karlie didn't care. "Josh edited them and he said that if he had to hear about all the great lesbian sex I was having in the middle of the ceremony he would actually murder me."
"So it's great, huh?" Cara wiggled her eyebrows.
Karlie just winked.
She still went in every day. Tried to monitor the capsule from its half-working transmissions. She knew its temperature, but they couldn't hear anything from Taylor. They couldn't hear if she was okay or if her ship would just be bringing back her lifeless body.
The only thing that was keeping her together was the hope that Taylor might be able to hear her. Months passed, and the only routine Karlie could keep herself to was feeding the cats. Meredith would have clawed her arm off if she'd ignored them. That, and she talked to Taylor.
"Taylor, this is Houston. Just checking in to say hi. I took Meredith to the vet yesterday. She's healthy. She's lost a lot of weight and is back in the healthy range now that someone isn't here to overfeed her." She paused. "Although I wish you were here more than anything. A month left, maybe, if the trip continues as planned. Harry thinks twenty-seven days, although it's hard to be sure with what we're getting from your ship. I hope you're not too bored up there."
The next day, it was much of the same. "Houston here, Taylor. It's hot in Texas. And don't give me that shit about how you're out there without an atmosphere to protect you from the heat. I know you'd be complaining about it if you were here. You and your delicate Pennsylvania system never got used to the heat."
"This is probably a misuse of NASA technology," Harry said offhandedly one day.
"Bite me, Styles," Karlie shot back.
"I'm not saying I mind. I'm just saying it might be hard to explain on the bills."
"You're a creative thinker."
Finally, they hit Harry's mark. Today is the day Taylor could come home. The thought ran through Karlie's brain, over and over, blocking out anything else.
"Harry says you could be here today, Taylor. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but they're sky high. Burning through the atmosphere, even. I just want to hold your hand again. Press our foreheads together and know that nothing will ever separate us again. You're so done, by the way. You're never going to another planet again. It's Earth or bust for you now. I think spousal privileges involve putting a ban on space travel once you've already seen another planet."
"They definitely do," Harry said. Karlie rolled her eyes at him.
"See, that's one reason I need you back. Who else would gang up on Harry with me?"
"Literally everyone," he said. "Every single person in this department."
"So, Mrs. Swift, I'd better see you walking through this door as soon as you can manage. He'll get a big head without you here to deflate it. And Meredith and Olivia miss you. They've taken to sleeping in your old sweaters." Karlie didn't mention that she'd done the same.
Karlie wasn't prepared for her first glimpse of Taylor. She was wearing her delicate, lacy dress and her hair fell in soft curls that framed her face perfectly. When Taylor met her eyes, Karlie forgot how to breathe. She was making the best decision of her life.
Most of the ceremony was a blur until it came time for Taylor's vows. "Karlie Elizabeth Kloss, I don't promise to never annoy you. I don't promise to never be angry at you, and I definitely don't promise to never fight. I do promise to always forgive you, and to love you even at my angriest. And I promise to always come home."
Karlie was not crying. Shut up. "Taylor Alison Swift, I would choose you every time. I make the choice to love you every day, even when it's hard or sad. The way I feel about you makes me understand every romantic song and poem. It feels like the kind of love that epics get written about. You make me want to be better, to do better. I love you more than anything in this universe or the next."
If Taylor pulled her in for a kiss a moment too early, well, that was her business. It was official. Karlie Kloss was married to Taylor Swift. She had to be the luckiest person on Earth.
The next morning Jourdan blocked Karlie at the door. "You can't go in there yet. Harry's orders. He's in there alone with a couple of the engineers."
"What's wrong? What's wrong with Taylor?" Karlie tried to shove her way past Jourdan. She had to know. It was better to know than to be left in the dark like this, with only her worst nightmares to recall.
"I don't think there's anything wrong. Karlie, they're going over her parachute specs. I think she's coming home."
It was like Jourdan had cut Karlie's strings. She collapsed onto her. She still hadn't let herself dream about Taylor actually coming home. It had felt too farfetched for too long.
They sat down on the floor together right next to the door. Jourdan let Karlie clutch her hand, and even if her grip was too hard she didn't complain. "I love her," Karlie said, "more than anything."
"I know, doll, I know."
It felt like forever before Harry stuck his head outside. "The Navy picked her up. She's just off the coast of DC. Isn't cleared to fly yet, so we're flying you to her, Kloss."
She wasn't waiting when Karlie got off the plane. She was in the nearby army hospital, presumably being poked and prodded within an inch of her life. Karlie could hardly sit still on the car ride there.
When she saw Taylor, it was like the rest of the world was gone. She wasn't ready for this first glimpse of her, for the confirmation that Taylor was gloriously alive. She could hardly believe her own eyes.
She was sitting up in a hospital bed, an IV attached to one arm and a heart monitor on her finger. Karlie could barely restrain herself from tackling her. Taylor would be different, now, her bones more fragile and maybe a little bit shorter as she readjusted to Earth and its gravity.
"Hi," Taylor said.
"Hi."
"I drew a picture of the sun for you." It was cartoonishly bad, a giant circle in yellow crayon. And that's how Karlie knew that no matter what they were going to be okay.