"How much?" I asked the cab driver.
"Five hundred and seventy two." He answered, looking at the meter lazily.
"So much? But last time it was two hundred something right?"
"That was 3 years ago... Things have now changed madamji." He said with a dry smile. I nodded.
True af. Everything had changed in these three years. And that 'everything' probably included him too.. who knows!
"Hmm. Take it." I handed him the money and grumbled- "But this is unfair, you know. The distance from the station is too less for five seventy two rupees!!"
He didn't say anything in return, just faked a smile, turned the stearing and drove back in the opposite direction. A cold sigh escaped my lips as soon as he left. They say that Delhi is the city of people with 'dil' (hearts) and this was its example!!
Rude much?
"Coco, come." I said and held the elbow of my little munchkin, who by that time had got busy in pulling out the stickers from my trolley bag.
"Umm..." she cringed her nose being interrupted, but threw no tantrums as I picked her up in her arms. Infact, she settled there rather peacefully, making all my stars earn a humble thanks directly from my heart.
"Mommy, where are we going??" She asked, wrapping her tiny hands around my neck.
"Baby we are going to...." I stopped. Becoz I had to. I didn't know what to answer her. Likewise, I didn't know where were we actually going.
Infront of my eyes, was standing that house where I had entered somewhat eight years ago, holding Dev's hands. I was a mere patient then, a homeless girl with ugly marks on her face, fractured limbs and a lost memory. Dev gave me shelter. He gave me hope, a new life and the strength to make an identity of my own. Later on, he gave me his name, his love and probably the most precious gift ever- his baby.
He gave me so much. All his life... and you think that is so great of him? Nah. You are wrong. For the ones who give everything but snatch it away the next moment, they can be anything but great!
"Mommy..." Coco squealed in my arms to grab my attention.
"Sorry baby." I apologised for being such a lost case and muttered- "We are at the wrong address Coco...lets see what can we do."
"Wrong addresh?" She enquired in her baby voice. Ofcourse she couldn't decipher the word, let alone pronounce it properly.
"I will tell you later. Now let mommy find a cab for both us. Okay?"
She nodded obediently to this while I took a look at my wrist watch. It showed 10:34 p.m. Quite late to catch a cab for that matter. It was no Mumbai that I'd get a desirable transport in whatever hour I needed. Hence, the only option left with me was to book the cab online and I sprang to my phone immediately as soon as the idea hit my brain...not forgetting to curse the stupid traffic of Delhi that got me so late and ofcourse, cursed myself as well for not noticing what address did I give to the driver.
Relax Nitara. It happens...specially when you are still not over your past habits.
-But its fucking 3 years dude! I should have got over them by now!!
I tried to justify. Only if that was of any use. Helplessly, I sighed and checked my phone. The confirmation message just popped in. It read that the cab was going to arrive within another 45 minutes.
Another fucking 45 minutes!
Shhh...too much of swearing, Nitara.
-Can't help. Sorry. I need to spend almost half an hour here... that too with my baby! Isn't it enough torture already?
-Wait. My baby? Why is she so quiet? Whats cooking in her head again??
"Coco? What are you doing baby?" I turned my head slightly and found her busy fiddling with the nameplate of my house.
Sorry. Dev's house.
"Mommy, what is thish?" She said pointing towards the fluid filled crystal letters that glistened over the entrance door.
"Thats the nameplate Coco... and why are you touching that by the way? Its someone else's house na.. and you can't touch their things without permission."
-Shit. What am I saying? And why am I saying this? This is legally her house too!
Don't be stupid Nitara. You know what is right for her and what is wrong.
-Yeah. Right. And before I say anymore lies to my baby, I should move away from this house's premises.
"Coco, lets stand near the road. Driver uncle will be coming there any moment."
"Can I take one of theesh?" She jumped quickly, adamant to take one of the letters with herself.
"No baby. What did I just say? This is someone else's house and they will get angry if they come to know about your mischief." I tried my best to persue her but her resolution was something else to tackle.
"Mommy pleashhh.." she made a cute pout and my heart almost melted into a puddle.
"Coco! Bad manners!!" I spoke in a slightly higher tone. Regretted the act immediately though. For I had simply forgotten or to say- 'ignored' the fact that the house belonged to Dev and he could appear any moment if he had heard our little banter by accident.
'Shit!' I muttered under my breathes and held the end of trolley. With the other hand I clutched my Coco and hurried towards the main road as fast as my feet could permit.
Once being at a safe distance, I looked back at the house and an depressing sigh escaped my throat, followed by a lone tear drop that rushed down my cheek unwantingly and took me to a five years old date.
5 years ago-
-"We've tried almost all the designs that are availabe in the market." Dev said.
"Yes." I nodded sidewise.
-"And you liked none."
"Yes." I nodded happily now.
-"And you are grinning! Don't you feel pity for your husband?" He was plain flustered.
"Not at all." I pursed my lips. "Unless you get the bestest of the nameplates for me, you are not going to be spared."
-"Thats ridiculous Tara!" He flung his arms in air.
"I know, I know." I gave a cheeky smile and poked his tummy before vanishing into the washroom for a long, warm shower.
Dev had really got me the bestest of nameplates if you ask. It was something like 4 crystal letters- B O S E, filled with a mobile jelly and colourful sparklers that included stars, balls, shells and what not. It looked as adorable as what it sounded right now. Yes, Dev had his objections regarding this. He felt that this unique nameplate might get stolen some day. But see the luck- even after five years of its placement on the front door, it was still glistening the way it did on day one.
Still better, isn't it? Atleast it had managed to hold back its shine unlike our faulty marriage which turned dull in the first three years itself!
Another lone tear trickled down. One more followed the previous one. Soon enough, countless tear drops started rushing down my eyes and they got my vision blurred. I tried to wipe them away. Crying before my baby was something that I disgusted the most. She wasn't supposed to see my tears. Just the way she wasn't supposed to shed tear herself. (Remembered Dev's words the day Nirvana was borned?)
"Mommy.." my baby touched my wet cheeks.
"Mumma is okay beta. She is not crying." I still don't why I said that.
"Mommy...rain." She chirped again.
-Yes baby, my eyes are raining.
I wept my eyes again, harder this time. But soon realised the weightage of Nirvana's words. The poor thing was not pointing towards my eyes, she was talking about some serious stuff..like the cloudy sky or the upcoming downpour?
-FUCK.
I covered her head with my scarf and ran towards a stationery shop whose shutters had been pulled down long ago. The shelter was meagre but thank god it saved our heads somehow. Here Nirvana was already clinging to my upper body which marked her safe. But for my lower part, the furious splatter of the raindrops against the ground made my long angrakha drooping wet, that set terrible shivers down my spines within no time.
Urgh! How I hated these sudden rains!!!!!
-But what to do now? There is still fifteen minutes left for the cab to appear and if I stand here for few more seconds, I'm surely gonna catch pneumonia to death.
Call someone maybe? Dev or....
-NO WAYS. No more going to that house..... but yes, I think I need to call someone... But whom to call?
Raima?
-Thats the best thing I could do...only if she was in talking terms with me. Its kinda okay though, I know she will come to my rescue if she knows about me BUT I don't want any kind of forced favours from her right now.
Damn your ego Nitara!!!!
-Heh. I know... but the question remains. Whom to call? Well..umm...I can always call Adit right? I know he too would ask me infinite questions but atleast this brotherly man is better than that bff who didn't even try to contact me in the last 3 years?
Your and your logic, both are screwed up beyond repair!
-Whatever. I am just calling Adit.
Two calls later, Adit picked up the phone. He then spoke with such a subtle seriousness that made my voice go numb all of a sudden.
"H-hello Adit. Its me, T..."
"Nitara?" His tone trembled slightly as he took my name. Oh my my, he still remembered my voice!
Point to be noted- he had tried contacting me in these 3 years (unlike the rest of them) but it was me who neither kept a contact with him, nor did I care to inform him about my changed phone number.
I am selfish and I know it. But what Adit know well is that I am cranky. Not once, but probably always.
"Adit...can you please come to pick me up? I need your help... a ride for now and a place to spend the remaining night.." I muttered pleadingly, trying my best to not sound like a selfish creature.
"Pick you up? From where??" He asked in a tone smeared with surprise. That surprise was soon gonna turn into shock and I prepared myself for the same while I exhaled a deep breath.
"Outside Dev's house."
"Outside De......wait. what?" He screamed over the phone. Just as I had expected.
"Can you please come Adit? Look its raining pretty bad and I don't have a place to stay tonight."
"You mean to say you are in Delhi right now?" He asked again, completely ignoring my request.
"Yes." I muttered kinda inaudibly.
"And you are outside Dev's house but you won't go inside becoz your stupid ego wars hasn't ended yet?"
"......." Neither will it end anyday. Come on Adit, you know everything already. Why are you still repeating the topic then?
"Wait for me okay. I am coming in 2." He said before hanging up the call. Good that he understood my thoughts, which otherwise I couldn't have pronounced in proper words.
Thank you Adit. I murmured to myself and looked at the house for one last time. Amidst the lightning and the horrendous rain, it still looked as beautiful as before. Not to mention, it was all hell tempting as well like it was the magnet that constantly pulled me to step in that direction. But no more going in that direction. I reminded myself. That direction was not meant for me. I had a different road to take.... the one where Dev didn't have his footsteps on...where he didn't have his fragrance left behind..... where we had the least probabilty to encounter!
____________________________________
Author's note :P
Holla peeps. How are you all? Missed me anyday?
If yes, I am lucky and if not, then what to say? I am already accustomed to it, isn't it?
But lets not keep any grudge. Here the first chapter is already out. Read it. Like it. Share it. And wait for me until I come back with the next chapter.
And yes, don't forget to tell about this 2.2 version of Nitara. Here she is a little more skeptical, little more impulsive, swearing more than usual and always talking with herself. Don't you think Dev's absence created this void for her? But then the question remains- where is Dev? What is he doing now?? Well, patience patience. Dev is not going to appear so soon. And we'll really appear, I think you will be surprised by his 2.2 version too. Becoz as I already said- this sequel is going to have known faces with unknown behaviours, so just stay tuned for the all the drama and a roller coaster ride with these two foolish lovebirds- Dev&Nitara.
~