You'll always find someone, don't doubt it.
Cashè
So, I've been single for the longest. Reasons why? I have trust issues, a lot of them, too many feelings of not trusting someone. Every single time I try or get into a relationship, I give them a little background on my past relationships, (says how people hurt me... etc), they would comprehend that right? Then they'll still cheat on me and hurt me in some type of form. Ironic right? I just gave up on relationships, I want one, but I gave up. It doesn't matter to me. Fuck the relationship era... let's talk about how I'm moving to another state. So, today I'm moving to California. My family wanted a new start to everything because New Orleans was hell, and it had a lot of bad memories. Let's talk about my hometown.
New Orleans. Everyone loved New Orleans. It was the party place, very eager and exciting for any visitors. It was just the crime that drew the originals from New Orleans. The crime was horrific.... The places where everyone wanted to have fun, someone made it into a crime event, killing the innocent who were just tryna have fun. Life was hard down here for anyone who actually knew about all of the crime that happens.. Our house got shot up because of drug dealers that were behind us, me and my mother almost got shot in our head. We moved. Wasn't no better, yea our house got shot up in the ward I was from, but there were robbing(s), gunshots, mess, and drug dealers... It wasn't no better but it was better because WE didn't deal with it. This basically concludes why we moved.
Now. Another topic, my life. Now I been gay, been.. Never would show it tho. I kept it on the down low, just from my family, knowing how judgmental and religious they are. They found out about this girl and I confessed. The rest of that year WASN'T easy. I cried almost every night, I fought my sister physically... I was mentally STRESSED. Me being gay and the affect it had on me and my parents were very stressful, on top of school and trying to keep a 3.0 gpa and up. Til this day it's still hard to manage with my family. My father thinks I'll change my mind in the future about being gay, recently, I got an therapist for the problems I go through. I've been introduced to new LGBTQ+ groups around my city, too bad I'm moving. I'm gonna miss everyone who supported me and my decisions.
Leaving
Well, it's time to say goodbye to New Orleans, even though I NEED to move, I don't want to leave.. Yeah, the crime is horrible but at the end of the day, I have friends that's as close as family to me, I will come back and see them, other than that we will always text and talk to each other. We looked at one house in Cali, it was very nice but simple but that was going to change once my mother got her hands on it and starts decorating the place. We left, we kept little things, considering that we were going on a plane because the car ride was too long. Some of the things we really cherished went to my grandmother to keep and if we wanted to get it, she'll have it.
We arrived to the airport, we didn't talk much, it was very awkward... I just had my headphones in, listening to my music and on my phone until I got that tap that meant it was time to leave. Well 40 minuets later, I got that tap and we got on the plane, I turned on a calming artist, PARTYNEXTDOOR, and put on his slow, calming songs while looking out of the window, admiring the sky and the view of New Orleans from the sky. After a long slumber, we were finally in California. It was beautiful.... Never seen nothing like it. We got a rental before we bought a car. We drove to the new house, it was a quiet ride for me because of my music but for my mother and father, the were talking the whole time, I don't know about what, I just saw their lips moving as i bopped my head to the music I was listening to.
As we approached the house, I stared in awe. It was beautiful, it was the house I've always wanted.
I've always looked at houses like this in the higher class of the New Orleans area. We would never buy one, it was risky as fuck to be honest, just because of the crime. I would always have a lot of thoughts on my mind, how I just got out of this horrible relationship. I believed everything she said, really thought she was different to be fucking honest. Loved her with all my heart, was gonna get her something for her birthday and she was gonna get me a ring for mines. Yep, so I thought. She cheated though. Should've saw it coming since it was long distance. I hate long distance now, with a passion. I can't do it anymore... I will never be able to do it.. just like she said, I'll never meet the person, so what's the point? Even though I seen many couples meeting their girlfriend. We finally got to the house. i wasted no time getting it the house and just looking around. Hours passed, my mother started decorating the whole house. Next day, she finished. I just focused on my room and the living room, didn't care about the rest.
My room was big, I like spacious rooms so I won't be crammed. I put all my clothes and my shoes in the closet, glad that was big too, I have too many shoes... I pulled out a tank top and some shorts for when I get out of the shower. I ran some hot water and stood in the bathroom on my phone, I loved when the bathroom gets steamy and hot just like the shower, I don't know why, but I do. As soon as the bathroom was steamy and hot, I turned on my playlist of soft, but old songs and began to sing in the shower. Yes, I can sing. But I hate singing in front of people. After an hour shower, I washed my body, real deeply so I'll be clean as fuck. I got out, dried my hair with a soft towel and wrapped another towel around me. I put my hair in a bun and put my clothes I had prepared on. I sat in my bed and turned on my Air MacBook to watch Netflix on. After watching two movies, I texted all of my friends, letting them know I got there safely, did my streaks on Snapchat, made a post on Snapchat of me, plugged my two devices on the charger, and went to bed.
Next Day:
I was woken up at 7AM by my mother. "Get up lah girl, you gotta go ta school, yo ass knew I applied for ya new school before we got hea." I looked at her with an attitude before saying: "Alright ma, dang. It's too early fa allat yelling, blowing me." I got up, I checked my phone, which was from texts from my friends, my ex, and some notifications from Snapchat. I put my phone down before giving my attention to my phone and brushed my teeth, giving a big smile before putting on some blinged out grills. I took my hair out of the bun, sprayed it with some water, then I started detangling it. I let my long curls flow on my back and I put some leave in condition and curl activator to keep it nice and curly the whole day. I picked out an black outfit for today. I grabbed my black low 11s, my Nike tights, and a black hoodie to complete my look. I looked in the mirror and smiled at my appearance.
I got my Bape bag, and sprayed some perfume on myself, grabbed my phone, charger, and headphones and went downstairs to greet my momma again. She told me: "Look, I ain't lettin' you use that lah car until yo ass familiar with that route to school. So I'm takin' ya ass to school." I replied with a slight mug: "Okay ma, whateva." We got in the car and she drives me to school. I looked on the road with my headphones in, focusing on the directions to make sure I know where I'm going when I'm doing this shit on my own.
We finally got to the school and my momma said: "Go ta that office and get ya schedule, I'll be hea at 3." I just nodded and took my headphones out and put my phone and headphones in my bag that my charger was already in. I walked to the office and greeted the lady. "Hey, I'm the new student, Cashè." "Oh! Yes, I have your schedule right here ma'am." I saw this stud in the office just looking at me. She caught my eye, not even gon lie. She looked blasian, nice hair, looked like she cut it to match her appearance. The lady handed my my schedule and I looked down at it and saw my classes. "Damn, AP everything, again." I said in my head. Then I asked, "Ma'am, how am I gonna get to all these classes alone." "That won't be a problem, since Amari here has all the same classes, she'll be your tour guide." I looked over at the Amari I guess and she had a slight smirk on her face. She got up and we walked out. I looked forward as she greeted me. "Hey, I'm Amari, call me Ace though." "oh.. Well I'm Cashè.." I said with a shy voice. "You don't have to be shy, ma." I chuckled a lil bit. My 17 year old ass, a junior, always had AP, 4.0, always. She said, "Well, you don't talk much. You not from here, right?" "Nah, I'm from New Orleans, it was crazy thea so I had ta move ta ole sunny Cali. I'ma miss the seafood and allat.. We just couldn't take allat crime." She looked and laughed. I said, "What's funny?" "I just like ya accent, it's sexy." "Oh thank you, luv." We made it to our first class, AP history, and we walked in..
TBC
like it? hope you do. 😘