Edited
I snatched the frozen meat from the freezer and chucked it in the microwave. While the minutes counted down, I glanced out the window, watching as the snowflakes danced in a flurry of movement, twirling on the wind gracefully.
I felt my lips rise into a smile. Winter was beautiful none the less, even if our winter was harsh on those who were too weak to adapt to it. But then the smile fell from my lips, and I remembered the skeletal body of my wolf. He was starving, and I knew from research that he wouldn't last long if he didn't put on weight soon; prey would be scarce.
The beeping of the microwave interrupted my thoughts. I grabbed the heated meat and placed it on a plate. I slipped on my big coat at the door and opened the sliding glass door. Immediately harsh, cold air blew inside causing me to instantly shiver. I fumbled to close the door behind me, my fingers already freezing.
As I slipped on my ugg boots, I saw the white clouds of condensation escape my lips. I walked down the stairs, holding the plate with shaking hands. Reaching the edge of the forest, I squinted against the snowflakes dusting my eyelashes. It would be nearly impossible to find my wolf in this weather, especially because his coat was white.
So instead, I placed the plate on the ground under the shelter of a tree, its leaves protecting the meat from any snow.
After retreating back inside, I collapsed into the lounge room, thankful for the continuous flow of warmth in the house. This winter was forecasted to be one of the longest, deadliest and lethal winters to take a toll on this small town, and I could tell none of us were ready.
I glanced back out the sliding glass doors from my chair, taking in the snow piled ground and bent trees. Winter always felt like a stab in the heart, cutting away at the defences I had created over the years. I used to think that the snowflakes themselves were beautiful, but now as I watched them flitter across the sky, I wondered if they were the same snowflakes that blocked my father's air ways.
Gritting my teeth, I got up to escape into my room. If there was one thing I learnt over the years, it was that I couldn't ever be alone with my thoughts.
....
I made sure I set my alarm last night especially early this morning. I wanted to see if my wolf had eaten the meat last night before Mum had woken up.
So, clumsily slipping on a knitted jumper and questioning my life choices, I made my way to the kitchen.
Mum was sipping a coffee absently while reading the newspaper. She looked like any normal mother, except I knew the newspaper she was reading. One that marked June 25th 2012. The day my father died.
"Rereading his missing persons case won't make him come back." I said simply, my tone as dead as her gaze. She only looked up, her irises clouded and hazy. I swallowed, realising she wasn't reading the newspaper at all, but only vaguely staring at the headline.
I cleared my throat, causing her to jump slightly. She shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts before blinking rapidly.
"I got a call from the school yesterday." She said remotely. I ignored the comment, reaching over to fetch a browning apple from the kitchen counter. Silence stretched between us, and I looked over at her to elaborate but she was staring back into the distance.
I sighed and took a bite of my apple, speaking as I chewed. "Yeah, what did it say?" The old Mum would've scowled me for being so unladylike, but now she only stared at me with glassy eyes.
Blinking again, she went off with a raged voice. "I was told you have to complete ten hours of community service with Miss Anderson."
I nodded silently and continued to eat my apple. There was nothing else to say, Mum was merely stating a fact I already knew.
"Well I'm glad."
I looked sharply up at mum in astonishment. "Why?"
She looked at me with her haunted brown eyes and dropped the newspaper onto the table. "Because you deserved it, maybe it will teach you a lesson." She answered, her gaze pointedly fixating on mine.
I took another bite of the apple, ensuring I could use the extra time to control the sudden flare of anger that surged through me. "What makes you say that?" I asked carefully, picking my way through my words.
"Clearly you did something wrong to Miss Anderson," Mum continued, her voice almost robotic like. "So therefore your punishment must be severe if she wanted to teach you a lesson."
I nearly dropped my apple but instead placed it half eaten on the counter. I then rounded on Mum, moving to stop in front of her. "Want to know the reason why I was so late mother?"
Mum's eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. I saw a piece of myself in her at that moment. A flash of stubbornness that crossed her gaze. Maybe the reason why we clashed so much was because we were so alike.
"Because my bi-polar mother conveniently forgot everything I had done for her over the years." I snarled, my fingers clenching on the unoccupied seat in front of me. "And then for the benefit of the doubt I listened to the rubbish that came out of her mouth. So, after hearing her side of the story, I thought it would be better if I walked to school. Otherwise I would've had to listen to more lies that came out of her mouth." I sucked in a breath, feeling the heat rise to blossom my cheeks. "That is why I was late."
Mum only stared, however her skin had lost its colour. Her bottom lip trembled but her eyes were steel like. She stared me down, her hands clenching on the newspaper she had discarded. She looked furious, with veins along her forehead rising to the surface.
"If your father was here, he would punish you severely." She hissed but the words stung like the icy wind outside. I felt my heart skip a beat at the mention of him but I covered it up by shoving the chair in front of me to bang into the table.
"Guess what mum?" I said, my voice soft but full of spite. "He's not here is he, and he never will be. Quit bringing him up when you yourself know he's never going to come back. I am the decider of my own actions, he is not, and never will be back to judge my mistakes."
Her eyes widened, her clenched fingers slackening with shock but I wasn't finished.
"Oh wait-" I glanced down at my watch with raised eyebrows. "You wouldn't want to be late for work mum, you might have to do ten hours of scrubbing stains in the carpet of your crappy office room." I cocked my head at her, watching as unshed tears began to dust her eyelashes. "Maybe you should practise what you preach." And with that I stormed away, snatching my discarded bag as I went. The sound of the door slamming was the only thing that echoed in my mind even after I was halfway down the street.
Guilt immediately sank in as I stalked away, walking down the curb into the street. For years I had built up anger that I never released. Even to Aleena, I usually kept my mouth shut about my current emotional state. But my patience was drying up, as well as my ability to stay around Mum.
I had helped her, fed her, cleaned her. I had done everything for her in hopes of fixing her. But after seven years I was finally realising that sometimes you can't help the people who don't want to be helped.
I sighed, and glanced down at my phone, wondering if I should ring Aleena to see if she could pick me up. She's probably still asleep, I thought dismissively before putting my phone back into my pocket.
Snow lined the street from the previous night, and I pulled my thin jumper closer to my chest. Snowflakes trickled into my hair, wedging into thin strands to melt against my exposed skin. I shivered and walked faster, hunching over like a shadow to remain warm.
My thoughts wondered back to my wolf before realisation stabbed me in the heart. I forgot to check if the meat was gone! I felt my pace fasten as I fretted, excuses rolling around in my head.
Mum was already mad at me; it was bad enough getting into another heated argument but she would most likely find a random discarded chunk of meat on a plate underneath a tree.
I nearly grumbled in frustration, feeling my hands bunch into knuckles. She would know about the wolf for sure. She would get him killed. She would call the pest control and make them shoot him or something. Maybe she would take him to the zoo, get him photographed and then tested to see if they could replicate his size.
Something white flashed ahead and I looked up sharply, my heart freezing. I let out a breath of relief as I recognised the school bus pulling over to pick up some classmates from my school.
I rushed over, slipping on the icy road in an attempt to stop the bus before it departed.
"Hey!" I yelled, sprinting towards the bus at it started to drive away. "Stop the bus!" I yelled again, huffing for breath while I ran faster. I mentally cursed myself for getting mad at Mum. If I had kept my mouth shut, she could've driven me in a heated car to school.
At the last minute, the bus driver halted eruptedly, apparently finally seeing me.
Panting slightly, I caught up to the bus and shuffled over to the door as it swung open. I thanked the bus driver breathlessly and looked up to see several teenagers stare me down with angry looks.
"Sorry." I mumbled before I looked for a place to sit. The driver didn't wait for me to find a seat before he accelerated off, causing me to stagger clumsily down the small walkway. I scanned the seats, identifying that it was very packed. I didn't recognise some of the students but I knew some of them were in my classes. Brookefield was a fairly large school for a town with an average population.
Several people continued to give me intimidating glances as I made my way to the back of the bus. My eyes landed on one of the empty seats and I thanked the gods I didn't have to stand, but then I realised who sat in the seat next to it.
I recognised that brown hair and tanned skin immediately and instantly my heart sank even further. How ironic, I thought as I sighed, that the person I would sit next to would be the one person who I was trying to avoid.
"Hey." I heard his voice say softly next to me. Instead of acknowledging he was there like a polite person, I sat down and immediately bent down to my bag in order to retrieve my ear phones.
"Are you feeling okay...I mean after yesterday with Miss Anderson and all..."
I smiled to myself, cranking the volume up louder. So he was one of the persistent ones, how cute.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw his face fall, a frown smearing across his face. I forced down the guilt that impaled my heart to instead turn to look towards anything else but him.
"Look," he began, his voice soft but confident. "You don't have to like me or anything, I'm just worried for you."
That's when my curiosity got the better of me. I reefed one ear phone out, letting it fall into my lap. I took him in, more preciously, his appearance. He wore a jumper that fit to his body perfectly, enough to outline his muscled torso and arms. His hair was looking particularly ruffled this morning, as if he hadn't had the time to brush it. His nose was slightly frostbitten from the cold but his lips were as pink as his cheeks.
I gave him the fakest smile I could muster. "And why would you be worried about me might I ask?"
A look of confusion crossed his features, making his eyebrows draw together. "Because you were upset yesterday and I-"
"Felt bad for me?" I intercepted delicately.
He paused mid-sentence, his eyes searching mine, as if unsure of what to say next. I found his stunned silence amusing considering no girl probably stood him up before.
"Aaron, you don't have to look out for me," I said politely although even I could recognise the amount of passive aggression edged in my tone of voice. "I am a stranger to you, and you shouldn't ask strangers personal questions."
He blinked, both him and I establishing at the same time that I had spoken to him as if he was a child. However, he covered up his surprise nicely by wiping his confusion off his face.
"Well maybe us strangers can get to know each other." He suggested with a weak smile. He didn't say it as if a question but merely a statement.
I studied him, noticing the way his fingers were stiff on the buckle of his seat belt. My heart jolted slightly, my lips inclining. He was nervous. Although, he did play it off well, his eyes remaining on mine as if to ensure confidence, but even I could tell he was trying to play it cool.
I titled my head, taking in his green and gold irises. "Thanks but no thanks." I said with a light smile to lessen the impact of my decline.
He clamped his mouth shut, looking crestfallen. I swallowed the leftover guilt that edged into my thoughts and instead tore my gaze away to look down at my phone.
Once again I had managed to push away someone who cared. Maybe that was my character trait. Maybe I was the one who needed help but declined it when it was right in front of me.
....
I jumped thankfully off the bus, fast walking to the front stairs of the school, feeling flustered and confused. I only just reached the front door when I heard a voice call my name.
"Renee!"
I turned to see Aleena rushing up to catch up with me, her lips pulled up into a glorious smile.
I felt myself return it as I spoke, "Hey, what's up?"
Aleena halted by my side, looking slightly bedraggled from the cold weather. I knew she hated it as much as I did.
She was about to reply when she paused, looking at me intently. "Why is your face so red?"
I immediately stiffened, excuses buzzing through my head. "I-I uh had to walk here, I got in a fight with Mum this morning." I smiled to try to cover up my story. There's nothing wrong with only telling half the truth.
Aleena continued to stare at me with a look of determination on her face, her eyes narrowing as she examined me. I gave her a half-hearted grin, but I knew it didn't touch my eyes.
She sighed, shaking her head so her hair fell in strands over her face. She pushed it away impatiently. "I know that smile from anywhere." She mumbled, walking forwards so we trailed into the hallway. "It's that I-have-to-lie-but-I-don't-know-how-to smile."
I glanced in her direction, feeling my ears heat shamefully, but Aleena only pushed the topic away with a snort. But then her eyebrows furrowed and she paused to look at me properly.
"Did you say you got into a fight with Melissa?"
I nodded in response, feeling slightly self-conscious. The only reason why I brought it up was because I needed an excuse, not because I wanted her to know.
She cocked her head at me, her eyelined gaze searching mine. She didn't suit a thinking face. "What about?"
I shrugged, angling my gaze to stare at anything but her. "Just about Dad."
"Again?"
I bit my lip and nodded in response.
Aleena let out a frustrated noise and then turned me around to keep us walking. "I don't understand you two sometimes."
I was about to open my mouth and mention something about how I didn't understand her own continuous seeking of revenge on her father but I refrained and instead swallowed down my thoughts.
"Renee, look I know your Mum can be an asshole sometimes," I looked up to see Aleena search my eyes, most likely taking in my rugged appearance. "But her mind is in fragments and you are the only thing that is consistent in her life. You need to maintain that."
"Why should I be the one putting my life on hold for her?" I said back, conscious of the gradual frown that tilted at her lips.
Aleena eyes softened in pity and she reached over to give me a light hug. I breathed in her familiar scent of honeysuckle and lemon before I pulled away. "Why don't you stay at mine for a few days." She suggested, her voice quiet with hope. "Then you can have a break and come back home with a fresh mind and maybe sort things out between her."
But I shook my head in denial. "You know I can't do that."
Aleena dropped her hand from my shoulder, letting it fall to her side loosely. She looked defeated, although her stubbornness still remained embedded in her eyes. "I know, I know." She exasperated, her tone altered with annoyance. "You can't leave her alone for that long."
I gave her an apologetic look but she dismissed it with the wave of her hand. It wasn't the first time we've had this conversation.
"Okay enough with the pity party for you, it's time to go see my husband."
I didn't even have time to give her a sharp look before she had spun around with a small chuckle, heading straight for the direction of chemistry. Just like that she had dropped the subject. She knew me too well. If I was uncomfortable she would change the conversation within seconds.
....
I sat in my designated seat with a huff, slightly relieved that Aaron had not yet arrived to interrogate me any further. I looked up to see Miss Anderson reading from her text book, her hairstyle and clothing choices exactly the same as yesterday.
I studied her closely, taking in her pursed lips and stiffened body. She was hard to read, especially with her emotionless gaze. She was a strict woman I could tell, one that relied on the ways of the past to run the present. But she wasn't just a hardy teacher; she was someone who actively sought out to make people upset. Even from day one she wanted to make her status known and even now as she glanced up from her reading with narrow eyes, she was a woman that gave off a sense she shouldn't be toyed with.
Most of the students had already taken a seat, reluctant to be more than a minute late after my incident last lesson. I didn't blame them; Miss Anderson wasn't the most pleasurable being if someone broke her rules.
But now the clock had struck one-minute past, and her gaze skittered to the only spare desk that remained unoccupied. Aarons.
Her pupils narrowed but she said nothing as she rose from her spot, taking in the pale faces of her class.
"Class, today we will be-"
She paused, her mouth still open to finish her sentence but her attention had wavered to the brown haired boy who had arrived at the door. He ducked his head apologetically, his cheeks reddening under everyone's gazes.
"My apologies Miss Anderson, my mothers car broke down." He said, his tone one of formality.
Miss Anderson regarded him with arched eyebrows, her fingers clenching on the wooden ruler she refused to put down. Finally after several seconds of silence, she nodded. "Very well Mr Payne, apology accepted. However, I do not expect this to happen again."
Aaron nodded hastily in response and almost sheepishly made his way to the back of the classroom. Many girls followed his movements, hiding their beams of joy. I glanced over to see Aleena stare him down like he was a meat patty on a stick, her lips pulling into a knowing look.
Aaron placed his books beside me and slid into his seat, instantly the movement causing his cologne to hit me left right and centre. I stiffened and narrowed my attention down to Miss Anderson whose eyes remained on Aaron. So she also had favourites. How convenient.
I felt my heart skip a beat once I realised that Miss Anderson's eyes were actually on mine, her expression almost a challenge. Her mouth was quirked into a grin, her wrinkles pulling at her face. I gripped the edges of my desk as I stared at her back, refusing to lower my gaze.
She expected me to retaliate, to question why Aaron had gotten away with no punishments.
But I knew better, I had lived with people like that all my life. They would lay a trap out for you to sprint into headfirst without a second thought. Little did she know I wouldn't fall for her bait to give me even more consequences. The only thing to do was keep my mouth shut and head down, like my mother had told me when the news reporters gathered on our front step years ago.
Miss Anderon's smile slipped from her face, her gaze steeling over. Clearly she thought I would challenge her motives. I would never stoop so low. So what if she had favourites, I wasn't ready to bargain with a fistful of another ten hours of community service for voicing my thoughts of unfairness.
"Class," she turned back to address the room, her gaze shifting towards the front row. "Today will be group work. The person next to you will be your partner in which you will both answer the questions I have uploaded online. I expect seven hundred word responses to the twenty-three questions."
The whole room seemed to still, everyone exchanging shocked looks of disbelief. I felt myself do the same as I glanced to Aaron. He looked over at me too, his green eyes blazing at the sound of the workload.
Miss Anderson only examined the class to ensure no one challenged her words. After a few seconds passed by in utter silence she told us to begin.
The lab was suddenly filled with the sound of zippers, pencils being sharpened and laptops being flicked on. The try hards at the front resolved to shooting their hand up immediately, apparently dying to ask Miss Anderson some academic questions.
I looked over to see Aleena pass out on her desk, her textbook propped up in front of her so it conveniently looked like she was reading. I felt myself smile. Typical Aleena.
Squashing down my procrastination, I glanced at the first question, dread already resting into my heart. I couldn't even answer the easiest one. I resulted to scanning the rest of the room, noticing that every other student was perfectly capable in answering these questions. I swallowed down my envy and turned to see Aaron already on the third question. He was deep in thought, a crease forming in-between his eyebrows. From this angle, I could see his detailed feature, like the way his jawline seemed sharp enough to cut flesh. His skin colour hinted that he must be a mix of some type, or maybe he had just been in the sun too much, I couldn't tell. His lips were full, down casted with concentration. His appearance gave off shyness and caution but also a sense of intelligence that'd been inherited.
"Aaron." I said, my voice lowered to a whisper but sharp in demand.
He quickly glanced up, clearly surprised that I was actually volunteering to talk to him. "Yeah?"
I swallowed down my dignity and forced myself to look him in the eye. "I don't get the first question."
He paused, his pen tapping onto his notes. "Do you need help?" He asked politely, a genuine smile pulling at his lips.
I rose my head, struggling to get out the words. He only watched me with slight amusement. "Yes." I finally breathed.
He let out a breath that indicated a chuckle but under Miss Anderson's stare, it whisked away into silence. He pointed towards the first question on my screen and I noticed his knuckles had tiny individual scars on them, like he had been in numerous fights.
"Okay to get the first question, you have to think about the resemblance between potassium and uranium and then base your answer on your own opinion on the kinetic molecular theory to find out how they react with one another."
I stared at him blankly and he responded with another smile. Apparently my face said it all.
Instead of trying to explain anything more to me, he motioned towards my laptop. I passed it to him without a word and with well-practised fingers, he typed into the search bar.
Immediately a website popped up, one that had the exact questions Miss Anderson had given us. Only this website had the answers.
I shot Aaron a look and he returned it with a beam. "You would be surprised by how many teachers slack off. It only takes them a few seconds to assign this to the class knowing they don't have to write the questions."
I gave him a nod as I thanked him before I gently took my laptop back.
While I scanned through the website, I occasionally glanced to Aarons work to see what he was up to but I made no effort to speak to him. A part of me wanted to believe he was genuine but the other part told me not to trust him.
Never trust a boy who is too kind...they always want something in return.
....
I had nearly wrote five pages of work before the bell cut me short.
"Everything you didn't complete today is due on Friday." Miss Anderson said, her face all angles of passive aggression. "Failure to complete questions will result in detention."
I slipped my books into my bag and hoisted it up over one shoulder. I turned to see Aaron doing the same before he pushed his chair in. He looked slightly worried, his teeth working at his bottom lip. I wasn't sure if he was stressing over the homework or something more personal. Pushing this aside, I didn't give him time to voice his concerns. I instead began to walk out of the classroom before a voice forced me to halt.
"Renee."
Unfortunately, it wasn't Aleena's voice that stopped me in my tracks. It took all my effort to turn around and face off Miss Anderson, her thin lips pulled into a wrinkled smile as Aaron brushed past me.
"You'll be coming to my office early Friday morning for your first couple of hours of community service. If you're late like you have previously been, expect a lot harsher punishments."
Clamping my mouth shut, I nodded sharply before turning on my heel to walk away.
"Oh and Renee,"
I spun back to give her a sharp look, however she only gave me an identical one back. Her grey eyes looked me up and down, her mouth angling into a scowl.
"Maybe attempt to dress yourself properly, you need to look somewhat respectable for our guest."
I felt a muscle in my jaw jump, and I prepared to demand who this so called guest was but she had turned away from me to collect her books. Stifling my frustration, I stalked away to sort through my thoughts. Who was this guest? A new staff member? Another student?
I was so caught up going over Miss Anderson's words that I nearly ran straight into Aleena.
"Maybe that crazy doctor actually was right when he said you needed glasses last year." Aleena remarked sarcastically after regaining her footing. I mumbled a sorry but she had already picked up on my dulled mood.
"Keep that face up and you'll turn into Melissa."
I didn't have the energy to scowl at her for making fun of Mum. She stopped me when I tried to walk forwards, thrusting out her hand to push against my shoulder. "What's on your mind?"
"A lot of things." I admitted, but when I blinked to see her frown I quickly redirected the conversation. "I had an interesting conversation with Aaron on the bus this morning."
At this, Aleena's whole face seemed to change. Her frown wavered into an amused smirk, her dimples engraving into her cheeks. "Ah, so the truth finally comes out."
"I just stated a fact," I began but Aleena had already jumped in.
"Most people would be mad that their bestfriend took their man but considering your new at this and this is your first love, I'll let it slide." She looped her hands around mine to guide me to the oval.
"Aleena I don't like him." I argued back to clumsily follow after her.
"Oh sure you don't." She glanced in my direction to give me a knowing look. "That's the first step of love. Denial."
Despite my reluctance to take in anything she was saying, her words struck me.
"But I can assure you my dearest friend, that soon enough you'll both be snogging each other and sneaking off in the middle of the night to-"
"Aleena!" I hissed but she only gave me a lungful of laughter.
"Oh come on Renee, you're never any fun." Her words were light in a joking manner but they wedged into my skull to bury deep into my insecurities.
I quickly shook my head to get her haunting words out of my mind as she dragged me outside. "I don't like him and never will." I said sternly. "Like I said, he is all yours."
Aleena looked at me with an expression of disbelief and paused to drop my arm. "I saw the way he looked at you in class today."
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "What?"
"Like he wanted nothing more than to see you smile." She replied, her gaze unblinking in an intense manner against mine. "Trust me Renee, I know boys like the back of my hand. I know that hopeful look as soon as I see it."
I stumbled for my words in an attempt to come up with a retaliation but all that slipped out was, "That was nothing."
I could tell she was about to say something but I quickly interrupted her. "I'll probably stay in the art classroom for lunch, I need to get some ideas for the upcoming assessment. But I'll text you after school."
"But-"
"Bye Aleena." I called, making sure to flash her an apologetic grimace once I had begun to walk away. She stared after me, her lips pursed as she called after me.
"You can't keep running away from your feelings Renee!"
I shut her words out as soon as they escaped her mouth but it wasn't enough to stop the flicker of unease that prickled at the back of my neck.
....
I struggled to write down all the information my art teacher Miss Packer was saying while she was hammering the class with various terminologies and techniques for completing our artwork.
"Remember, this artwork is based upon the perspective of yourself and needs to be under the impression of your chosen realism artists."
The class nodded absently, their hands moving quickly to write everything done.
"For the rest of the lesson, please start sketching your canvas idea in your books. This will contribute to your overall mark so put some detail in it."
I grabbed a couple of pencils and lined them up ready, the classroom echoing into silence while everyone concentrated. I glanced to the person next to me, whom I had never talked to before. Her fingers were sketching some sort of chained object, her pencil darkening an area to shade it.
I looked back down at my empty sketching paper. I didn't have any idea what to draw let alone how to draw an image.
I reverted back to the things most important to me. Aleena was important but I wasn't fond of drawing people, especially a girl with no physical flaws. I believed that no drawing is perfect. A drawing should hold flaws considering the object that was drawn would most likely have one. Why sketch flesh without identifying the scars?
But then I remembered the yellow eyes. I could draw my wolf and not just parts of him, but all of him. Then even when he did depart my presence, he would still be with me. His golden gaze trapped within the carvings of a pencil.
So I began to sketch, my hand moving on its own record. You can describe drawing like dancing. The pencil knows what it's doing and the hand follows it through. It only takes concentration, patience and commitment to perform a masterpiece.
"Time to pack up class, lunch is nearly over."
In a daze I looked up to the clock. An hour had already passed but I only managed to draw a few outlines of my wolf. I bit my lip distractedly. I didn't know why, but I couldn't draw him. He wasn't as complex as my other drawings but I still struggled to complete his detailed features.
I needed to get closer to him in reality. I needed to take a photo or visually remember every detail of him.
I picked up my books and got up out of my seat, praying that I would see my wolf this afternoon.
....
I walked home in order to avoid Aaron. I wasn't entirely sure if he heard my conversation with Miss Anderson when he brushed past us but I hoped he hadn't. It would only make him obliged to ask more questions about my life.
I looked up to see the sun slink behind the trees, giving Brookefield a pitiful sunset. I didn't blame it, winter drained away its light. I glanced at the peaceful street while I walked by, taking in the sight of warm looking houses most likely occupying a loving family. I swallowed down my remorse. I used to have a house like that, but now it was haunted by my father's death, and both Mum and I had been dragged into its shadows.
By the time I got home, the moon had taken its reign over the sun and an icy coolness had rinsed over the town. I aimed for the glass doors after snatching some frozen meat from the freezer, not even bothering to prepare myself for the wind. I hastily closed the door and made my way to the forest, narrowing my eyes against the dark. I could barely see a foot in front of me, especially as tiny individual flecks of snow began to dust my eyelashes.
I neared the place where I left the plate of meat. Edging closer, I was surprised to see the plate there, with no meat on it. Paw prints embedded in the snow led a trial up to the plate but as I leaned closer, it seemed they were incredibly fresh. I felt my heart skip a beat just as a rustle only a metre from me.
Stiffening, I glanced up to see a familiar set of eyes. They were narrowed in the dimness of the light, unblinkingly examining me.
I never paid attention to the beauty of animals in my time, mainly because my father's career was to extinguish it. But now as I remained frozen mid crouch, I could identify every individual line in my wolf's irises. It was a unique pattern, one that twisted around its luminous flecks to form a circle around the pupil.
His eyes remained on mine cautiously, his chest heaving as if he had just run. I could see his ears pricking with alert as he watched me.
"Hey buddy." I whispered gently hearing my voice shake ever so slightly. "You want something to eat?" I looked over to examine his frame. His ribs still jutted out, but his fur looked more kempt than before.
"Did you find something to eat?" I whispered, slowly bending down to be eye level with him. He peered at me, not making a noise.
Ever so carefully, I held out a piece of meat in my shaking hands, feeling the cold nip at my skin. But he reeled back, his lips curling into a silent snarl. Fear crossed his gaze, his ears flattening to pin to his head. One of his front paws was raised as if ready to run at any moment, his eyes flickering to an exit route.
I took a deep breath, attempting to even my racing heart. "I won't hurt you." I said softly, my voice barely audible above the wind.
He glanced at me wearily but his gaze continued to flicker to the meat in my hands. I could see the flash of hunger in his eyes, and see the flecks of saliva that began to seep out of his mouth. His nose worked, catching my scent and the scent of the food, his cautiousness replaced with desperation.
A starving wolf needs to eat.
Then, despite my disbelief, he started to walk carefully closer to me, his movements hesitant and surefooted. I knew without having to test my theory that he would dash if I moved at the slightest.
He was so close; I could smell the fresh pine scent on his fur. He paused a couple of centimetres away from me, his gold eyes staring at me. Intimidated, I swallowed nervously, lowering my eyes to stare at the meat.
"Renee? Are you home?"
I froze when I heard mum call from inside the house. My wolf froze as well, his entire body stiffening into a statue. His tail bristled with hostility, a growl rumbling from his chest.
My mind was in a flurry, my heart soaring to drum against my ribs. If I stayed still, mum would see me, but if I moved, my wolf would run and might never return.
Suddenly his hot breath touched my fingers before he snatched the meat from my hand and dashed into the forest. He turned once he reached the safety of the trees, his eyes glinting in the darkness. I watched as he blinked thankfully then galloped into the towering trees. Realisation dawned upon me. He blinked, he blinked again.
"Renee!"
I spun around to see Mum standing on the veranda with a look of outrage on her face.
"What the hell are you playing at! You shouldn't be out in this weather!" She looked me up and down. "And why on earth are you holding a god damn plate?"
I felt myself stammer nervously as I stood up.
"Yeah...about that." I murmured, wondering what excuse I could come up with next.