"Ugh, I don't want to go." I complained from my usual spot on the floor leaning back on the couch between Trevor's legs.
"Why not?" Trevor doesn't look away from the screen. He was absolutely crushing me on Halo.
"Because there's not point to it." I discarded the x-box control on the floor, frustrated. "All the dates I've had end up in disaster. It's almost as if I'm living in a reality show that's meant to make people laugh."
Trevor paused the game snickering. "They were not that terrible."
"Want me to make you a list?" I fumed. "Date one: I end up in jail. Two: the guy proposes. Three: some psycho eats super-hot wings and refuses to admit he can't handle them. Four: the guy has a huge painting of his face and refuses to disclose its origin. Five: you set me up with someone that talks to imaginary purple people. Six: I get stood up. Seven: my date brings a fucking chinchilla and feeds it. Eight and last: I end up in the hospital."
Trevor was trying not to laugh. I could punch him.
"You have to admit that it has been quite the adventure."
"You think?" I glared up at him.
"Look..." He started playing with my hair. "The goal was ten dates. I think we've come far. Two more dates and it's over. Then you can forget about it."
"Forget about what? The fact that love is not for me?" If I was being honest, this plan had taken a toll on me. I don't have confidence problems. I know I'm not hard on the eye and I think I get to be funny sometimes but... I thought something good would come out of this and it hasn't. The whole deal has left me confused with my relationship with Trevor and frustrated with my failed dates.
"Maybe you are looking in the wrong place." Trevor ruffled my hair and un-paused the game.
"Wow, that's deep, Fortune Cookie." I rolled my eyes.
* * *
I forgot my date's name and I have no idea how to figure it out. My only plan was to somehow get a hold of his wallet and find an ID, perhaps the video I saw a few days ago about how to pick pockets will come in handy. Or... I could always ask Trevor.
John Doe brought me to an artificial ice rink. Winter is right around the corner, and even though it still feels as if we were in summer, the weather has chilled a bit over the last couple of weeks. It felt like a life time since the last time I skated, and I was excited to try a few pirouettes on the ice.
The drive to the rink was relatively long and we were on the car for half an hour. The usual first date small talk had turned into an almost daily routine which maked it boring. I have told the same information eight times in the last nine weeks. I'm studying bioengineering, I live with my roommate Trevor, my parents live a few hours ago and so on.
John Doe was making an effort in keeping the conversation flowing and I felt bad for him because I was just not feeling it. He looked like a nice guy and he was nice in the eye in his own way, with warm brown eyes and shiny dark hair. The problem was that I was done with dating. The only thing that I've gotten out of this ridiculous plan is the renewed hate for dating. There really is no point for it. It doesn't work. At the moment the temptation to come up with an excuse and head back home was outweighing my excitement for ice skating and I felt like a weird bipolar girl.
"We're here." John Doe announced. I nodded at him.
I wrote a quick text to Trevor.
So... I may or may not have forgot my date's name. What was his name again?
I sent it feeling embarrassed with myself. Trevor was going to give me hell for this. His reply came as we walked into the building to the ticket booth.
...
I could hear Trevor in my head. "Are you kidding?"
Just tell me his name!
I wrote back. His text came a few minutes later.
You're unbelievable... Jason.
I sighed. Jason had bought our tickets and we walked to the skate's section. We asked for our sizes and awkwardly walked on the skates to the rink.
"Ready?" James offered his hand.
"Sure." I took it.
* * *
"I want to die" I whispered to the phone, leaning on the sink.
"Did you forget his name again?" Trevor's voice sounded too loud.
"Shh, no." I moved to the door to hear if anybody was near. My voice was above a soft breeze. "I agreed to come to his place because he said he was a great cook and that he had some lasagna ready."
"That doesn't sound too bad."
"The problem is that he lives with his parents." I tried to make him understand.
"Okay... That could be awkward."
"They're having a family dinner."
I'm met with silence on the line.
"I see." Idiot Trevor snickered.
"Dumbass!" I covered my mouth praying nobody heard. "They are like ten people here. His grandparents are here."
"Only you get yourself in these situations." Trevor was trying to contain his laughter, but I could still hear him. "How did you manage to call me?"
"I said quick hellos and asked for a bathroom." I explained. "Can you come pick me up? I can say that it's an emergency with one of our friends."
"I don't know..."
"Don't be an ass right now!" I hissed. "I'm sending you the location. I have to go, bye."
I hung up before he could say no. I couldn't get a well needed break because someone kicked on the bathroom's door. I quickly opened it to one of Jason's aunts.
"All yours." I smiled awkwardly and gestured to the bathroom.
"Thank you, sweetheart." Margaret, I think that was her name, smiled.
I walked back to the living room where the whole family was chilling together waiting for the lasagna to warm up in the oven. As soon as I walked in the room everyone quieted down. Jason waved his arm from a loveseat in the corner. I wiggled between his grandfather and an uncle to sit beside him. The whole time his family stared.
"So... Dakota." Jason's mother spoke up. "Jason told us that you're boyfriend and girlfriend now."
I choked on a laugh. I noticed Jason turning red. All I could make myself do was raise an eyebrow.
"Yes, we just had a date at the ice rink." Jason offered.
"That's lovely!" Theresa, Jason's aunt, commented.
"Um... yes." I had to cut in. Trevor would get her at any moment and I had to let them know that I'm leaving and never coming back. Thought, that last part was just for my knowledge. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay for dinner."
Jason's mother gasped, Theresa dropped her wine and Jason stood up from the loveseat. This was too much. It was over the top and filled with unnecessary drama.
"Why not?" It was Jason that finally asked.
"A friend had an accident and I have to get to the hospital." I improvised. "Someone is coming to pick me up."
"I can drive you." Jason offered.
"Yes, sweetheart, after all he is your boyfriend." Theresa interjected.
"That won't be necessary." I could sense that the bomb was about to blow up, thankfully there was a horn blaring from outside the house. Trevor, my savior, announcing his arrival. "In fact, my drive is here. I'm so sorry to leave you like this, but I have to get going."
I moved. I texted Trevor that I was coming and went from relative to relative saying goodbyes. Everyone was super nice, giving me warm hugs. Jason's grandmother even told me she was happy he finally found someone. I felt guilty and awkward. Jason walked me to the door. I didn't know if I should mention anything about our "relationship status" or just get the hell out and never look back.
"I'm sorry about that." Jason was the first to speak. "Let me explain."
I didn't say anything. We were standing a few feet away from the closed door and I could still hear the chatter on the other room.
"My parents have been pressuring me about finding a girlfriend. I'm not interested in a relationship..."
What? I was shocked. This asshole only wanted to use me. What was the point of this date?
"...and to get them off my back I thought a date wouldn't hurt. Things got out of hand."
"So, you're telling me..." I had to cut in. "...that this date was just some staged trick to get your family off you back?"
"Yes." He nodded. I could appreciate his honesty. "I have a proposition for you."
Oh, no. I could bet my non-existent salary that I was sure on the kind of proposition he was going to give me.
"Would you mind being my fake girlfriend?"
"I knew you were going to ask me that!" I headed to the door and opened it. "You are out of your mind!"
I walked out, slamming the door on his face. Unbelievable!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thoughts?
Regards,
A. L. Pecka