Chapter 4: Struggle
Yaunna's
It was suffering from awkward walk daily. No one ever has started a conversation between us excluding whenever necessary at school.
Four days ever since that happened, I can't bear the atmosphere. Sometimes he attempts to talk but always end up opening his mouth and before he could say anything fear takes over him that summarizes him to walk away, embarrassed.
The sun starts to set and we were roving our way home. The ice has formed between us after the incident. What's much worse is that I can't deny the truth that every night I can't sleep, Shaun was the content of my fucking mind.
And everytime I retain the memory, I can't help but touch where he kissed me.
We were walking home from school and reach the river just way near our village. It was a silent place where not so many people are around or maybe we're the only ones right now.
Up until now. I utterly don't know why he did that... nor what how I would feel.
"Yaunna, let me carry those for you," now he was suddenly offering a help. "Aren't you tired?"
I've been carrying our Science Investigatory Project Medium and the format in a large cardboard. I gave him a short glance before resuming to walk not paying attention on his offer. He wasn't wearing a shy expression anymore but the usual he wore as if nothing happened.
'Maybe he set aside our misinterpretation now that he dared to speak.'
"I can hold these," I stubbornly stated. Though, I was struggling a bit. "And there's no way I could be tired."
Shaun snorted before adjusting his knapsack and snatching the experiment sample from me that I could say weighs like 10 pounds.
I was in halt due to his movements and Shaun was now having the experiments on his hands.
I was staring at him in annoyance when he looked at me and laughed.
"Don't you worry, little miss. I just don't want to see you tiring yourself," he begin his pace, moving away forward. "You've been carrying this in a long walk. I won't let you-"
I lurched and stood in front of him. "Why were you doing this?"
Shaun was surprised, completely stunned making himself hinder. He was about to speak when he was prevented by only himself too.
"Spit it out, Shaun." I used his name, configuring any from him.
"Doing what?" He asked.
"Ha," I pursed my lips in irritation. Why do he keep on playing dumb? "You're making me dead confused and now you don't even know what you're doing?"
He twitched his brows. Agony was visible in my eyes and I know he could see through. I hate when this have to happen. Everytime I was accessible and what I actually feel was being unfolded, I feel weak in front of such people.
"Yaunna... I didn't mean to confuse you..." he said softly, staring in my eyes with concern.
"Then tell me why!" I yelled.
He was staring at me before walking away from me. I gasped, how dare him. I stomp, catching him.
"Oi!" I turned him harshly before suddenly the hot steam flowed out of my eyes.
Shaun's eyes widened as soon as get a sight of my weak state. I hate it when people see me like this. But Shaun have seen me multiple times break down, he was the one who comforts me.
But right now it's the opposite where he was my disease.
"Ssh," he gulped before pulling me close with his free hand that wasn't holding the material. "Goddammit, stop crying Yaun..."
He pulled my head to his chest and caressed my head. I swore I saw his eyes, watered until his own tears fell from my head but I couldn't get the sight since he's tightly holding me on his chest.
"Why you've got the balls to do that?" I half joked in husky tone.
Shaun was heard chuckling until he let go of me. I could now look at him but unfairly too late to see his last state.
"Stop those tears." he wipes it away from my cheeks and cups it.
"But you haven't told me..." I kept bringing the topic up.
He looks up and back to me with a soft heartedly expression. "I couldn't."
'I'm so stupid.'
"Not right now," he continue as lets go of my face, turning his back. "Yaunna, go home."
He walks away and left me there standing unanswered. I was watching him fade from my sight when it started to get dark.
I shook my head in disbelief before running my way home, feeling completely devastated.
Timeskip~
Shaun and I became distant and the only person I could get to stick with was Amber, the Herwell girl I was referring the last time.
We became close after the game match last P.E. and she was actually trustworthy. Amber was once befriended with the bitches at our campus that used her for such things until she found out and confirmed them F.O. to her.
No. Not 'Friendship's Over'.
It's 'Fuck Off'
Until she learned to be alone and met me. At least she could stay put with my personality.
"I still think of you as a couple." she said before stuffing some cheese bread on her mouth.
"Jeez, Amber. For the nth time please restrain yourself for repeating that," I massaged my temples. "I'm sick if hearing it."
"I still think-"
"I said we're fucking not!" I half yelled, making the students stare at our direction.
Amber laughs and then drinks on her soda. "God, Yaunna. Aren't you too affected?"
"Shut your mouth." I rolled my eyes.
"Fine, then." She finally said, eating peacefully and so I am when my phone tuned.
1 message from: Drummedhead
I was hesitant to open it but I was hoping it was something that matters.
From: Drummedhead
Yaun, look near the windows.
Reply | Delete
My eyes turned to the glass walls that unveil the outside. I searched for the bowl cutted guy and found him. He waves and did something on his phone.
1 message from: Drummedhead
I knew it. He was messaging me. I opened the text.
From: Drummedhead
Will you go tomorrow for the football match? Pleeeaaase!
Reply | Delete
I was about to push reply when a certain intruder spoke behind me.
"Ohh, he's asking for you to cheer him tomorrow??" Amber was staring at my phone.
"Amber! What the hell are you doing?" I moved my phone away from her sight.
She shrugged. "Witnessing an update with my otp?"
"Otp? Seriously?" I ask her in disbelief.
"Yeah... why?" She gave me a playful smirk.
"Shut it." I stated before turning back to my phone.
To: Drummedhead
I'll think of it...
Send | Forward
I sent it to him. I glanced back to the window only to see 'glasses' give me a bitter smile and left.
I felt guilty but at the same time I thought it was fine rather than saying yes and being talk-shit.
"What did you say?" Amber asked.
"I'll think of it.."
"Aw!" She said, kind of disappointed. "Anyway, I'll push you to go."
"Agh, I'm still not sure, okay?" I put my phone back to my pocket.
Amber shrugged and continue eating.
Maybe, watching him play once wouldn't be bad...