Tim POV:
The alarm rings at 6 AM sharp, forcing me up. Like I'm sleepwalking, I stand up, slip on some jeans and a t-shirt, before brushing my teeth. I walk into the hall, knocking on the girls' doors to get them up, before looking at the door down the hall. I take a deep breath, and stagger over, knocking lightly. I open the door slowly, wondering who I'm going to get today.
She lies in bed, seeming to already have been awake, staring toward the window. She holds a balled up blanket tightly to her chest, so still, she could be mistaken for paralyzed.
"Time to get up, honey." I let out gently. She shuts her eyes, letting out a sigh, before starting to sit up. I leave the room, and start toward the kitchen to make everyone breakfast. I dig out some eggs from the fridge, and start warming the pan. The girls slowly filter down, Audrey trying to get away with wearing Maggie's shirt, and failing.
"Audrey, really?" Maggie remarks, rolling her eyes a little bit. Audrey begins to try and justify herself, before Maggie puts her hands. "It's fine. Just ask next time." She says, making me smile a bit. They've really come together over these last couple years, since I don't really have time to be a full-time parent to them, while working a full-time job and being Faith's full-time caregiver. It's been a hard adjustment for everyone, but they've been taking it surprisingly well.
Faith staggers down the stairs, in leggings and a large sweatshirt, clearly not planning on doing anything today... again. I take a deep breath, praying she'll be in a good mood today. She sits down at the breakfast bar, staring down at her nails she's been nervously picking at nonstop. She really doesn't attempt to talk to the girls anymore, which really kills me. I've never seen her damn near ignore them, and it's something I really wish I could omit from my memory. It's like she wants nothing to do with them...
"Gracie got her letter from NYU yesterday." Maggie says, making me stop in place. Gracie looks down at the counter, like it wasn't a good turnout. Maggie looks over at her, and nudges her a bit.
"Did you open it?" I ask eagerly, as she looks up, nodding slightly. "So?" I push, wanting to hear. She bites her lip, looking down at the counter again.
"She got in." Audrey spits out, before taking a sip of orange juice. Gracie glares over at her, like she didn't want to say whether or not she got in.
"Gracie, that's amazing!" I let out, as she nods, a slight frown still on her. "What's wrong?" I ask, before she shrugs.
"I just... I don't think I'm going to go." She admits, making me unintentionally laugh. NYU has been her dream school since her freshman year.
"What?" Maggie chirps, sounding upset. Gracie shrugs once more.
"It's just really far, and expensive, and I could do something in-state for cheaper." She tries to convince herself, making me laugh again.
"Gracie, we can afford it. That's not an issue." I say, as Maggie clears her throat. I glance her way, to see her point at the skillet, revealing my burnt eggs. I quickly stir them before they're beyond repair. "Now if you're worried about being far away, I can understand that. But you can't give up a dream of yours just because you're scared of being homesick. Eventually, we all have to take that step." I reassure her, pouring the eggs onto a plate. "You know how cool it'd be to say I have a kid at NYU?" I joke, watching her crack a smile.
"And we could come visit! That'd be fun to go around New York!" Maggie tries to convince her, making her smile grow. I serve everyone up a plate, before grabbing bagels for them. The girls all begin chowing down, while Faith simply stares at her plate. She crosses her arms while looking off into the distance, completely disconnected.
"Come on, honey... You've gotta eat." I let out quietly while the girls talk about all the fun things they could do on their visits up to New York. Faith shakes her head, making me cringe. Some mornings, getting her to eat is a challenge. The part of her brain that signals hunger and thirst is damaged, which means I have to remind her to eat and drink at certain times of day. "Faith, please..." I continue to press, as she shuts her eyes. "Just a few bites for--" I begin, before she erupts.
"Tim, I'm not a fucking child!" She screams, making the girls jump and fall silent. I hang my head, before she stands up and marches off. I wait for a moment, before hearing her door slam. I shut my eyes, trying to gain the courage to go upstairs. The kids watch me walk toward my execution, and start toward her door. I knock and wait for answer. "What do you want?" She replies through the door.
"I want to talk." I answer, taking a deep breath. She doesn't reply, so I start to open the door. She sits on her window seat, hugging herself tightly as she looks outside. "I'm sorry... You know I don't mean to baby you." I say, hearing her sigh. Her eyes are moist, making it harder for me to stand here. I walk toward her, sitting down on the other side of the bench. I reach out to touch her knee, but she pulls away.
"Don't touch me." She lets out quietly, forcing me to shut my eyes as frustration hits. I try to breathe through it, but the urge to erupt is tempting. I look down at her knees, before nodding slowly.
"Faith, what the hell do you want me to do?" I let out without raising my voice. She glances my way, her eyes welling up even more.
"I want you to leave me alone." She admits, tears hanging from her eyelids now. I throw up my hands, feeling exhausted. "I can take care of myself." She adds, looking down at her fingernails and picking at them again.
"No, you can't." I reply as she shakes her head.
"Yes, I can." She argues.
"No, Faith, you can't." I repeat, before feeling like I'm losing my mind. "And stop picking at your fucking nails." I release, the motion making me want to go insane. "It's me, or a facility. I don't know about you, but I'm not just going to toss you in some nursing home, alright? So, no, I'm not going to leave you alone." I assert, watching her tears fall.
"You should've let me die." She remarks, standing up and starting to march across the room. I lean my head against the wall, having heard that far too many times over the last few years. She disappears for a moment, before I hear her throwing up. I shut my eyes, knowing it's because she hasn't eaten. I slowly stagger into the bathroom, holding back her hair. She pushes me away, sitting up and wiping her mouth. The flushes the toilet and washes her hands, before leaning against the counter and looking down at the sink.
"It's alright." I say, watching her shut her eyes. "Let's go grab something to eat, and then you'll feel better." I try to coax, before she turns around.
"Tim, what the hell did you not get about leaving me alone? I'm not your fucking child, or your goddamn charity project." She starts to scream, as I quickly try to hush her, knowing the door is open and the kids are downstairs. I try to grab her hand, which results in her growing even louder. "Don't you dare fucking touch me!" She screeches, making me wince. She storms out of the bathroom, before rushing toward her room. She tries to shove the door closed before I get there, but I catch it.
"Calm down." I try to talk, but she shakes her head, only growing more hysterical.
"Leave me alone!" She shrieks, before throwing a pillow at me. "I fucking hate you!" She screeches, putting me over the edge.
I turn around, slamming the door shut behind me, marching down to my office. I sit down on the desk, while feeling my heart beat out of my chest. I feel like I'm nauseous enough to throw up. My head feels like it's spinning nonstop. Tears force their way out, despite the fact that I've been trying to hold them in. I hear the door hinges into my office squeal, before looking up to see Gracie standing in the doorway. She walks toward me, before hugging me tightly, as I try to hold it together. I hear myself sniffle, while holding tightly onto her.
"I'm sorry..." She lets out quietly, while I nod, feeling unable to speak. "I know this is really hard, and it's not fair..." She adds, before letting me go. She steps back, before wiping my tears and sparing me a smile. "It's all going to get better though. It's not like it can get any worse." She says with a laugh, making me laugh too. I nod, taking a deep breath, before clearing my throat. She walks out of the room, grabbing her bag and keys, before waving the girls out to drive them to school. I watch the door shut, before looking down at my feet. My shoulders feel like they're wound tight, and ready to pop. I debate remaining here forever, but my day is far too long to waste time in here.
I stand up, before hearing something fall off my desk. I lean down, picking up a thick brown leather-bound notebook. I flip through it, not recognizing it as one of my own. I reach the first page, seeing her handwriting across the lines.