Ch. 2
The elevator slid slickly up to the fifth floor. My eyes were starting to sting with exhaustion, and I could feel my back aching. All I wanted to do was crawl into one of these hospital beds and fall asleep for the rest of the day.
My clothes had dried, but my shoes were still a hopeless cause. It was all I could hope that I wasn’t leaving wet marks whenever I walked. My hair had dried into a frizzy mess so I put it up in a lopsided bun and tried to wipe the old makeup from under my eyes.
I was sure I looked like a freak walking down the hallways.
The door dinged and opened. I sighed and slowly made my way out. I looked at the sign before taking a right glancing at all the rooms trying to find number 561; it was the very last room. I bit my lip and fingered the knob.
My mind wandered wondering what I was going to be doing with this boy, Joseph. I hoped he wouldn’t be shy; the last girl barely spoke two words to me the whole time, just stared up at me with big eyes. That hour would have been the worst if it weren’t for the nurse who kept a steady stream of conversation going.
Just before I was going to turn the knob and go in it quickly opened, revealing a nurse. I stumbled back, trying to stay out of the swinging door’s way.
“Oh my!” the nurse exclaimed when she saw me. “I’m so sorry, are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I said politely to the nurse. I tried to get around her so I could go in and get this done with.
“Are you the volunteer?”
I turned around at the sound of her cheerful voice. “Yeah, I am.” I was still standing in the doorway of this boy’s room when she reached out and grabbed my arm pulling me gently away from the door and towards her.
My heart raced when I felt her cold grip on my arm. I took a deep breath and tried to resist pushing it off as a thousand memories slipped into my brain.
“He’s the most amazing little boy,” she said with a small, sad smile while I was still trying to calm my racing heart. “So sweet and kind and caring. He will truly touch your heart.”
I looked up at her eyes but quickly ducked my head when I saw the emotion burning in them.
“His outlook doesn’t look so good, the poor soul. I feel so bad for him.” Silence settled over us when I didn’t know what to say. How was I supposed to reply to that? The old nurse smiled slightly, seeming to sense my uneasiness. “Well, I best be letting you get in.”
She lightly patted my arm and was soon walking briskly down the hallway, only looking back for one fleeting moment.
Her words echoed in my mind, repeating themselves over and over. Part of me wanted to laugh. Through my sleep haze I could see how ridiculous the whole thing was.
The thought that a young boy could ‘touch my heart’.
The thought that anyone could touch my old, frosted over, and mangled heart was beyond ridiculous.
My shoes squeaked closer and closer to the door. I gently placed a hand on the door and pushed it open, curious to see this boy who the nurse had such high praise for.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the thin, pale boy in front of me. He couldn’t have been more than four or five. His light brown hair was sticking up in all directions. Even from the doorway I could see the spots where it was thinning. His face looked hollowed around his big brown eyes and exceptionally pale.
I took that all in a second before his head whipped around to me when he heard the door open. His thin lips curled up exposing a row of pearly white teeth. “Hello.” His soft, musical voice drifted through the room.
I swallowed before I spoke. My cheeks flamed when I realized he had probably heard, how stupid to feel this shy and nervous around a little kid. “Hi.” My mouth formed the words in a soft whisper.
With his eyes watching my every move, I walked over to the hard plastic chair next to his bed. Before I sat down I gently picked up the small bear that was sitting there. I stared at it for a second before placing it gently on the ground.
“Your name is Cassie, right?”
My head quickly turned to look at him as my hands clenched into fists at my side.
Cassie.
I haven’t been called Cassie in years. I had always hated being called Cassie; it was my mother’s nick name for me. Hearing it only brought back bad memories. My ears started to ring as echoes of loud screams bounced around my brain.
I never ever let anyone call me Cassie.
I forced deep breaths through my mouth and felt my shoulders relax when the ringing stopped, when the memories stopped. My blurry eyes focused on Joseph’s face.
“Yeah,” I spoke softly, the words surprising even me. “That’s my name.”
His wide, innocent eyes were looking up at me, filled with worry. I felt all rational thoughts fly out of my head. I don’t even know why I confirmed that Cassie was my name. My mouth formed the words before my brain had time to think about it.
But I knew that it would be okay, because when Joseph called me Cassie it would be nothing like when my mom called me by the same name.
“Awesome!” he chirped. “My name is Joseph but you can call me Joe.” My eyes drifted from his small face to around his small room while he spoke some more. “I’m really glad you’re here. It gets kinda lonely at times.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. My brain occupied with everything around his room. Part of me doubted he ever got lonely at times. His room was littered with balloons, pictures, stuffed animals, and toys. My guess was that he had many people who loved him and spent a lot of time with him.
“My mom and dad just got me those balloons.” His little hand pointed across the room to where large balloons were bouncing off the ceiling.
“Yeah; you like cars?” I asked, eyeing the cars painted on the shiny aluminum of the balloons.
When I turned back to Joe I could see his large grin and twinkle in his eyes. “They’re my favorite! I love the movie Cars.”
“You watch it a lot?”
His high-pitched giggle filled the room. “Only about a hundred times. My sister hates it but she still watches it with me.”
“Yeah, well, that’s nice of her.”
I watched with nervous eyes as he tried to move into a sitting position. His shoulders shook with the effort and I could see his chest rising and falling as he took deep breaths. “Are you alright?” My hands reached out, but stayed suspended in the air, not sure what to do.
He took another minute to get himself situated before turning to me with the smile still miraculously on his face. “I’ll be fine.”
Looking at the weak little boy sent a pang through me. He should not have to struggle to pull himself into a sitting position.
I was sure that the visit with Joe would have been slightly awkward and tense, but I soon found myself settling into a calm demeanor and some of my walls fell down. He continued to talk to me the whole time about everything and anything, and I found myself listening along.
It had gotten to the end of the hour and I was just about to get up when his small and clammy hand reached and grabbed my own.
My body tensed up and I looked down at him, wondering what he wanted.
“We’re friends, right?”
I blinked. “Yeah, sure,” I said faintly, shrugging my shoulders.
“Good.” He smiled and grabbed the teddy bear from where I had placed it on the floor near his bed. “I want you to have this.”
“No, it’s your teddy bear Joe, you keep it.” I shook my head, almost laughing at how silly he was being. There was no way I was leaving here with a stupid teddy bear in my grasp; I wasn’t some kid who needed protection from a pile of sewn together fluff.
“No.” He shook his head. “Until you come again, I want you to have it, so I can always be with you.”
“Joe-“ I started again, still not wanting to have anything to do with the bear.
“Please, just take it.”
I bit my lip as I looked at his big eyes. His hand tightened around mine and I hoped he couldn’t feel the calluses and scratches littering my palm.
He held the bear out to my and raised an eyebrow, almost taunting me to protest again.
I bit back a laugh at the almost grownup expression on his little face. But with a deep breath my hand stretched out and wrapped around the soft brown stuffed animal.