The black abyss consumed everything I was, blocking my senses: sight, hearing, speech, touch, smell. It was meant to subdue me. To control me. To halt my life until I was of use again.
In the darkness, the cold crept in, wrapping around my body. Its tendrils curl around my mind, trying to destroy it.
Though my body was slumbering, frozen, my mind was awake, remembering. It was the only time when my mind was truly alive. Truly free. Flashes of memories, of my life, swirl around, battling the cold that threatened to steal them away with its icy claws.
This is what Hydra never planned on. The remembering. The cold and darkness was just supposed to be that. My mind wasn't supposed to be active in this nothingness. They failed. While I might be theirs to command when I was truly awake, I was free in this darkness, out of reach from their control.
Slowly the cold faded and the darkness receded. I desperately tried to cling to it, unwillingly to wake up. To be their puppet. I longed to stay in the black but it was of no use. I was returning. Warmth flooded my body, my limbs tingling as they were brought back to life. Feeling, starting at my feet, traveled up my body until it reached the top of my head. My muscles protested from being static for so long, the soreness was a pain in the ass.
Shifting, I tried to sit up to stretch out the tightness but I couldn't move. I was strapped down, immobilized in the machine used to put me to sleep. Struggling against my bindings, I tried to escaped, my breathing turning shallow and rapid, but I couldn't get out. I was trapped like an animal. My eyes fly open and swiftly shut, sensitive to the bright light flooding the room. Cautiously I opened my eyes again, adjusting to the light. My vision cleared enough to show a man looming over me, beady eyes darting nervously over my face. My hearing returned as I listen to him stutter before clearing his throat and hastily speaking again.
"So-Soldier. If-if you would um calm down, I will remove the-the straps so you can get up and we can run a full-a full diagnostics." I could practically smell the fear emanating from him but I complied, stilling my limbs. I watched as he reached out, hand shaking, to undo the straps. A sort of calm settled over me as I decided that I would not be taken willingly this time. So I waited. I waited until the man removed the last strap, freeing me.
And then I began.
Without warning, I lashed out, striking the soft part of his throat. As he bent over, gasping for air, I launched myself off the machine, landing roughly on my feet. Stumbling to get my balance, I had forgotten that my body needed time to recover but I had none. So I ignored the pain and ran, aiming for the door on the other side of the room.
Slamming the door open with my palms, I dashed into the hall, looking for a way out, taking note that the man behind me had regain his breath and was radioing for help. I needed to move. Vague memories of the layout of the base were coming back to me. I had no choice but to trust my sketchy recollection and headed right. I ran, taking a left and hoping it was correct until I came to an unfamiliar point, one hall leading left and the other right. Shit. I didn't know which way to go.
Checking behind me, I could hear shouts and footsteps heading my way. Going back the way I came was out of the question. Footsteps echoing of the walls from the left forces me to sprint right. Doors blurred past as I searched for a way out, the footsteps were catching up. I was running out of time.
Skidding to a halt, heart pounding in my ears and breath labored, the way in front of me was filled with the sounds of people approaching. I was trapped either way now. Wildly looking around, I saw a door to my side. Without hesitation, I shoved it open and barged in, slamming it shut behind me.
Pressing my forehead to the door and trying to control my breathing, I waited until I heard footsteps run past the door and fade away. Letting out a sigh of relief, I turned around and froze at what I saw. I hadn't even bothered to check if anyone was in the room before I rushed in.
My stomach dropped at the sight of a man, broad-shouldered, tall, shaggy brown hair, was standing in the center of the room with his back to me, a machine similar to the one I just left is set up next to him. The most striking thing about him though was his left arm. It was made of metal. I must have made some sound because he turned around, curling his hands into fists and tensing up.
His confused and apprehensive expression mirrored my own. Strangely, he seemed familiar but I couldn't place him. Stepping closer, I studied him, the stubble covering his strong jaw, the long messy hair, the red star upon his metal arm. But the wild look in his bright blue eyes sparks a half-forgotten memory. I know those eyes.
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Snow surrounds us, blanketing the forest surrounding us. It's beautiful but also cold as hell. Although it hasn't soaked through my boats, I can't feel my toes anymore thanks to it. A wind, unforgiving and fierce, nips at our clothes, threatening to knock me down if I don't fight it. I'm grateful when he positioned himself to take the brute force of the wind.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" A ghost of smile graces his face. It's the closest to a smile that he can manage. There's not much joy in our life.
"What?" Crossing my arms, I try to conserve some heat while we wait.
"Larnă" [Winter].
I shrug my shoulders and stare down over the cliff's edge. "Hydra's already taken so much from us. Our lives. Our souls. Our memories. We don't even know our names. I just thought... it'd be nice to have something of our own. A name. Something they couldn't take from us. I can stop if you wish." I keep my voice quiet, uneasy to reveal something personal. Glancing anxiously to him, I wait for his response. Nervous that he might reject it. Turn me in for acting too human and I'd have to be wiped again. I shudder at the thought. No. He wouldn't.
It was silent, my fear building, before he spoke again. "No." A small smile, barely noticeable, flits over his lips, relief floods me. "I like it." I return his smile with a small one of my own.
A calm quiet settles over us. I focus on the ground below, the road empty, and listen to the howl of the wind.
"Lamă" [Blade].
"What did you say?"
"Lamă. That's what I'll call you." He states, his mind made up.
"Why?"
"Because you're as lethal as a blade... And it felt right." He says with such casualness that the side of my mouth tilts up. It amused me. The feeling shocks me. I can't remember the last time I was amused.
Turning away the cliff and facing him, I hold my arm out as an offering. "Lamă"
He hesitates before catching on, "Larnă" Clasping my forearm, we make a deal that no matter what, we'll have each other. Hydra can take everything else from us but they can't take this.
A truck rumbling in the distance interrupts the moment. Instantly crouching down and switching into mission mode, we focus on the incoming vehicle, our moment pushed aside. "Here he comes"---
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"Larnă?"
His eyes widen in surprise and I can see that it means something to him. It means something to me. It means I'm not alone. I know it's him. I remember him now. He's my partner. The only reason I've gotten through everything.
Closing the distance between us, I grab his forearm, looking into his eyes, willingly him to remember me. "You know me. Please...you have to remember."
His breathing is uneven and I can see the thoughts racing behind his eyes, confusing him with their onslaught. But then his eyes clear and he whispers one word, not as a question but as an answer to my plea. "Lamă."
Pulling him towards me, I throw my arms over his shoulders, hugging him with all my strength, grateful to have found him. Any normal person would have been knock off balance by the force I used but not him. He, as solid as a rock, never swayed and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. We breathe in each others scent. Too overwhelm to speak. We stayed wrapped in each other for minutes and, as much as I hated it, I pulled away.
"We have to go."
"We can't escape. You know that."
"We have to try." My voice cracks. Some part in me understands that we've tried and failed to do this before but I had to try. To see if there was still a chance. His face softens slightly and he nods, following me as I turn for the door.
It flies open. Soldiers spill in, blocking our exit, and line up, weapons drawn.
"Come quietly or you'll make it worse. For each other."
The soldiers move aside and one man, aging with blonde-grey hair, walks forward, stopping a safe distance from us. Tucking his hands in his pockets, the yellow-haired man waited, brow arched, as if he had all the time in the world.
Glancing behind me, Larnă, stone-faced, moved to my side, his body taking a defense stance. Mine copied his. "No." We would face this together. No matter the outcome.
Signaling the soldiers, they rushed us as the man stood still and watched, amused. They surrounded us, making it hard to even move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw flashes of metal as men flew around me. I, on the other hand, didn't have a mechanical, strength-enhanced, metal arm so I had to deal with them the old fashion way. By hitting them. Hard.
Bodies dropped around me as I dealt with them but more took their place. There were too many soldiers and we knew it. We were losing. A fist clipped my jaw sending me stumbling. That opened for another to bring a baton on my back and electricity coursed through my body. Shock waves radiated through my body, my muscles seized, and I dropped to the ground, screaming. They shocked me again until I was too weak to move.
"NO!" Larnă roared, trying to fight his way to me, but, with his attention diverted to me, they overpowered him. Subduing him with the same electrical batons.
Hauling me up, they roughly dragged me out of the room. I tried to fight against them but my body refused, to weak to struggle. Bringing me back to the room I originally escaped from, I saw the beady-eyed man waiting. A new machine had been set up, one I didn't notice before but I knew what awaited me.
"Wipe her." The blonde man commanded.
Dragging me to the machine, they started strapping me down but the man help his hand up and they halted their motions. The door flung open again to show another person being dragged in. No. They brought him in too. I was hoping they left him behind.
"Make him watch." He instructs, his voice cold and unsympathetic. He delighted in the torture he caused.
"No" I weakly plea but it goes ignored.
Grabbing him by his hair, they roughly yank his head, his eyes meeting mine, full of sorrow and regret. My heart break looking at the agony written on his face. I wish I could've gotten us out. But I knew we'd never win. He knew it too. Any fight I possessed had abandoned me. I couldn't resist anymore. I didn't have it in me.
I'm sorry. They say.
But it's not his fault. It's mine. I did this.
Don't watch. I try to get him to understand. He doesn't listen.
"Do it."
His eyes never leave mine as they finish strapping me down. The machine's headpiece lowered around my face, charging. One part covers the upper left side of my face, my vision blocked there, and the other spans my right cheek. I brace myself, waiting for the pain to come. Praying that he doesn't watch. The he closes his eyes. But he won't
"Turn it on." Those words condemn me.
Electricity bursts through my head with enough force that I feel like my brain is shaking. Unbearable pain explodes, starting from my head and traveling throughout my body as the electricity coarse through my body. My limbs start convulsing and I clench my jaw in an effort not to scream out. I don't want to give them that satisfaction. I don't want him to hear me. I struggle against the pain but I can't hold out any longer. Opening my mouth, I scream. I couldn't stop screaming, my throat already raw and hoarse. Pain was the only thing I could focus on. It was all I could feel.
Hot tears stream down my face and I continue screaming, pleading for them to end me. I faintly hear someone crying for them to stop but I can't focus on it. I can't focus on anything. The world was hard to focus on. My mind becoming a fried mess. I pray for a relief, welcoming the darkness taking over my vision.
The last thing I heard was "Lamă!" before I gave into the pain. My conscious fading into nothing.